Episode 130: Two Kinds of Bypassing

[This episode originally aired on July 18, 2023]  Someone recently asked me, “Am I spiritually bypassing?” •  I took that term to mean using one’s practice or spiritual path as an escape, or relief, from the responsibilities of regular life in this world  •  it is a relief in a way, to take a break from the relentless struggles of daily life  •  is it possible to practice meditation in a way that’s not bypassing all of that, while at the same time recognizing the need to have some relief from the relentlessness of life?  •  I think there is actually a parallel, or opposite, form of bypassing, something I would label “material bypassing”—avoiding our own spirituality our spiritual yearnings and insights by keeping busy and constantly occupying ourselves with an endless stream of worldly concerns  •  the challenge is to find some way of being skillfully and wholeheartedly engaged in both your life and your meditation practice—appreciating that we need to take a break from worldly concerns, but then we need to re-energize and engage fully in the world again.

[This episode originally aired on July 11, 2023]  Today I’d like to explore the problem of becoming an adult  •  the world of children is filled with magic and fantasy and stories, with vivid perceptions and playfulness  •  but as we grow up we’re supposed to get over all that, and develop adult-like qualities  •  gradually, year-by-year, the magical world of childhood fades away  •  yet many of the great spiritual masters say what we really need to do is to become more like children, and less like adults  •  when we take a lighthearted approach, a childlike approach, our spiritual practice becomes less of another project that we take on with earnest determination, and more of an exploration of curiosity and interest and delight  •  I thought of a new word: “curiodyssey” (“curious odyssey”) — if we soften our earnestness, something more childlike, playful, and delightful can emerge in our meditation practice.

[This episode originally aired on July 4, 2023] The word “compassion” can seem so overwhelming in the face of all the suffering in the world that it can stop us in our tracks  •  while we’re imagining all the great gestures of compassion that we might do, we can miss the small, ordinary, daily acts of compassion that really do affect our world  •  some of the hardest compassion to feel is just being present with suffering that isn't fixable  •  this is what people in the hospice setting often do: they simply sit with someone who is passing from this life  •  that simple act of being present with someone can bring about a quality of deep acceptance  •  compassion can also be a momentary thing that completely shifts the energy—a smile or a glance, a simple recognition of a human being who, like you, is suffering  •  such little moments  of connection are so subtle, but they ripple forward and can change our feeling for the whole day  •  at its core, that simple connection is really the seat of compassion; it may be even more important than the grand compassionate heal-the-world projects that we may imagine  •  it’s on the spot, it’s immediate, it’s not a big deal—but it can change everything for ourselves and for those we encounter. 

[This episode originally aired on June 27, 2023] The attitude that’s encouraged whenever we embark on a spiritual journey is not to approach it simply as a means of self improvement, but to switch our normal way of operating so that we are thinking about others  •  traditionally this is talked about as beginning by raising bodhichitta and ending by dedicating the merit  •  when we sit down to practice meditation, or to begin any project, we start by connecting with tenderness of heart and the desire to use our actions in order to benefit others  •  arousing kindness and compassion is the beginning point, and it’s also the ending point  •  when we dedicate the merit, rather than regarding what we have just completed as our own private accomplishment, we take it as a further statement of commitment to all other beings  •  piece by piece, action by action, we are gathering a certain kind of power and energy that we can then turn outward  •  many of our actions, good or bad, start with little flickers of thought  •  we can work with the thinking process, deliberately shaping our thoughts in the direction of greater openness, kindness, and awareness.

[This episode originally aired on June 20, 2023]  We are all familiar with meditation as a way to tame and quiet the mind  •  another important aspect of meditation is clear seeing, or insight: the power of meditation to reveal the intricacies of the workings of our minds  •  a traditional image for untamed mind is that of a pond stirred up by the wind  •  all the silt in the pond is mixed with the water, making it murky  •  as the wind dies down—when we sit still and practice mindfulness—the water begins to clarify, and we can see more layers of what’s really going on within us  •  some things are quite beautiful, yet other things are painful to look at  •  it’s important to realize this power of meditation, because there’s a reason that we hide certain parts of ourselves  •  it’s not that easy to come to terms with the different corners of our being  •  it’s so important to be gentle and steady, and not immediately try to overcome all our hesitations about our own experience  •  step-by-step, through the practice of meditation, we are exposing who we are to ourselves  •  by removing firewalls and moats and protective mechanisms that deplete our life force and our energy, we can relax our guard and live more wholesomely and more full-heartedly.

[This episode originally aired on June 13, 2023] The feeling of loneliness, which is familiar to many of us, can be a very vulnerable and slightly threatening feeling  •  Trungpa Rinpoche emphasized the value of relating to loneliness as well as the value of being in community  •  he said that without relating with your loneliness, you can’t really be in community in a way that’s healthy; it can just be people leaning on one another, and can therefore be knocked over very easily  •  but by developing a strong sense of oneself and accommodating fundamental loneliness, we can actually be in community in a much stronger and more loving way  •  there are certain things in this life we have to do all by ourselves  •  we are born alone, and we die alone  •  a deep-rooted loneliness comes baked into life itself  •  one way of accommodating the reality of loneliness is to take loneliness as an ongoing default position, rather than as a mistake or a failure; to view loneliness as a thread that runs through our life from the very beginning to the very end  •  but in order to accommodate the reality of loneliness, we have to actually get through the sometimes extreme pain of loneliness  •  showing up for our own loneliness can give us the courage we need to show up for others who are struggling with loneliness and abandonment.

[This episode originally aired on June 6, 2023]  There are many ways to look at the connection between spirituality and our everyday lives  •  in the Buddhist tradition, the basic components are very simple and straightforward: they are wisdom, compassion, and effective action  •  an image that  illustrates how theses three components work together is that of a wheel — a wheel with a hub, spokes, and a rim  •  the hub at the center connects the wheel to the energy source; it distributes that energy through the spokes to the rim  •  in terms of the Buddhist path, that hub involves working with the mind   •  the cultivation of mindfulness and awareness is central; everything that happens revolves around that central hub  •  the spokes of the wheel point to the skills and qualities we need in order to cultivate compassion action  •  the rim is the  point of contact with the grittiness of the road  •  this wheel is not up in the sky somewhere; it is connected with the ground of ordinary living, with the challenges and struggles of everyday life. 

[This episode originally aired on May 30, 2023] When the Buddha spoke of being “a son or daughter of noble family,” what was he referring to?  •  in India, where the Buddha taught, there was a caste system with very clear distinctions between the noble castes, the less noble castes, and the untouchables  •  the closest thing in many Western societies is being born into wealth or being born into poverty  •  with extreme wealth comes access to extreme power; you basically enter a different dimension, one accessible to only the privileged few  •  but the Buddha completely redefined the meaning of “noble”  •  you are acknowledged as a son or daughter of noble family the moment you commit yourself to the bodhisattva path: the moment you dedicate your life to the service of others, to alleviating the suffering of sentient beings  •  the Buddha replaced the idea of nobility as status with nobility of character  •  and from that perspective, a noble one could be of any cast, any class, any culture, any gender  •  as a member of the noble family, you embark on a path of cultivating body, speech and mind, not just for yourself, but for the benefit of all beings.

[This episode originally aired on May 23, 2023]  Today’s topic is perception, how we see our world  •  each of us sees things a little bit differently, and optical illusions highlight this fact  •  in one well known optical illusion, some people see a chalice, while other people see two women facing each other  •  which is it?  •  you might see a chalice when everyone around you sees two women  •  the problem begins when we take our version as solid and real, when we clamp down on our particular way of viewing the world and close our mind to any other possible options  •  it's humbling to recognize that everything we see is from our particular point of view, but there's also something very liberating in recognizing the power of our perceptions: there's a freedom in knowing that how we perceive things is not fixed  •  when we begin to see through this pattern of assumptions being taken as reality, we see openings, we see possibilities  •  there's room to connect with others because we don't start with the assumption that they're in the same world as we are  •  we recognize that we're in different perceptual realities, and we can use that understanding to connect at a deeper level.

[This episode originally aired on May 16, 2023] I find it inspiring to discover wisdom in the midst of so many ordinary stories, even simple children's stories  •  the Wizard of Oz is one such story  •  the main character is Dorothy, whose life changes completely when she is swept up in a tornado and lands in a magical place called Oz  •  there she embarks on a journey of discovery, accompanied by her little dog Toto and three companions: a scarecrow, who is looking for a brain; a tin man, who is looking for a heart, and a lion, who is looking for courage  •  together, they follow a path called the yellow brick road, said to lead to the wizard himself — someone who can can give them what they feel they lack  •  but when the trio finally gets to the abode of the Wizard, they discover he is not the savior they were looking for at all; it was all just a show, a circus act  •  however, what the Wizard offered was actually better: he pointed out that each of them already possessed what they were looking for  •  I refer to this kind of twist as Buddhist humor: you need to follow that yellow brick road, go through all of its adventures and challenges, to realize you didn't need to do it  •  that's a perfect example of Buddhist humor — and a perfect example of how a teacher points out to the student their own nature.