Breaking Generational Patterns: Why Parenting Abroad Can Trigger Your Own Childhood
Becoming a parent can bring parts of your own childhood back to the surface. Sometimes it's a reaction you don't understand. Sometimes it's the anger that comes out over something small. Sometimes it's the silence, the withdrawal, or the guilt afterwards.
You promised yourself you'd parent differently. So why do familiar patterns sometimes show up when you're raising your own children?
In this episode of DAM Parenting, Eva is joined by trauma therapist Adina Petre to explore how becoming a parent can reconnect us with our own childhood experiences, and how those experiences can shape the way we respond to our children.
We talk about inherited parenting patterns, childhood trauma, emotional triggers, anger, and why telling yourself to simply be more patient isn't always the answer.
For international parents raising children in the Netherlands, there's another layer: navigating Dutch parenting norms while carrying expectations from the country and family you grew up in. What happens when your family back home questions your parenting? How do you decide what to carry forward, what to leave behind, and what you want to create together with your partner?
We also explore:
- Why your child's behaviour can trigger reactions that feel bigger than the situation.
- Why some parents shout, while others shut down or withdraw.
- The difference between breaking a cycle and simply doing the opposite of your parents.
- Why repairing a relationship matters more than being a perfect parent.
- The grief of realising you didn't receive the same care you're now trying to give your child.
- Navigating grandparents, family expectations and holiday visits.
And perhaps the most reassuring reminder of all: a difficult parenting moment doesn't have to define your relationship with your child. What happens afterwards matters.
A thoughtful conversation for international and expat parents raising children in the Netherlands, especially as family visits and the festive season bring different expectations, emotions and old family dynamics into the mix.
Guest: Adina, trauma therapist.
Sign up to Adina’s boundaries event on Saturday 21st November
You are seen. You are not alone.
Listen to DAM Parenting: https://damparenting.nl/listen
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