
Stop Being the "B Word": The Science of Status and Influence | Alison Fragale (Recast)
Do you believe that to be a badass, you also have to be the "B-word"—that you cannot be effective and liked at the same time? Many leaders chase power, thinking it comes from controlling resources—like holding the "car keys" to get what they want. But power and status are not the same thing; power is what you control, but status is how much you are respected. And in the long run, resources follow respect.
Why this matters
If your audience doesn't value or respect you, it is nearly impossible to be influential, regardless of your title. Most professionals treat influence as a transaction, only focusing on their network when they need a job or a favor. But human judgments are not random; people instantly categorize you as "friend or foe" based on your warmth and competence. If you aren't intentionally building your "status bank" when you don't need anything, you won't have the leverage when the stakes are high.
In this episode, we unpack:
- The Power vs. Status Split: Why power controls valued resources, while status is respected and valued by others.
- The "Car Keys" Trap: How holding resources (like budgets or authority) creates temporary influence but fails to build lasting respect.
- The Podium Coaching Gap: Why women consistently ask different questions about negotiation and promotion than their male counterparts.
- The Friend or Foe Radar: The two distinct dimensions—Warmth (intent) and Competence (ability)—that our brains use to judge every leader.
- The "Latte" Rule: Why the absolute best time to build your network is when you are content and simply ordering a coffee.
- Navigating Hotspots: How to execute tough decisions, like layoffs, with both assertiveness and warmth to protect your professional reputation.
- Authenticity vs. Strategy: Why being "likable" isn't about faking a personality—it's about strategically demonstrating that you care about others' outcomes.
Timestamps
(0:00) — Intro
(1:47) — The differentiator between Influence, Power, and Status
(3:00) — Guest Intro: Alison Fragale and the Likable Badass framework
(5:00) — The "Podium Coaching" moments: What women ask that men don't
(11:11) — Power is holding the car keys: Controlling resources vs. earning respect
(14:45) — Status defined: Why resources follow respect
(16:40) — Friend or Foe: The science of Warmth and Competence
(24:00) — The "Latte" Metaphor: Networking when you don't need a favor
(28:00) — How to handle "bad guy" moments (layoffs, tough calls) while keeping status
(34:10) — The Authenticity Trap: Can you "fake" likability?
The takeaway
Power is controlling resources. Status is being the resource.
Resources follow respect.
Stop choosing between being liked and being effective. Be both.
About Alison Fragale
Alison Fragale, PhD, is an organizational psychologist and a professor who specializes in behavioral science to help women excel. She is the author of Likable Badass, a book dedicated to helping women get the success they deserve by mastering the science of status.
Connect with Alison Fragale
- Website: alisonfragale.com
- Book: Likable Badass
- Newsletter: The Upper Hand (Substack)
- LinkedIn: Alison Fragale, PhD
- Instagram: @alisonfragale
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About Career Blast in a Half
A third of our lives is spent working. Career Blast in a Half is your 30 minutes of weekly simple, powerful, and actionable career fuel to keep your success track no matter where you are in your career or what's to come next. Hosted by career strategist Loren Greiff.
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