#05 Becoming a Single Mum by Choice

In this last episode of Bumps before a small break, I speak with the incredible Veronica Santini about what happens when life has a different path for you than the one you hope for.Just a few months before her wedding, Veronica noticed her cycle had become irregular. Through consultation with her doctors and her own research, she learned she had Premature Ovarian Insufficiency. For Veronica, this lead to an infertility diagnosis.1% of women will have Premature Ovarian Insufficiency, which is essentially a state of early menopause that occurs when the ovaries stop functioning as they should before age 40. 1 in 100 women is not uncommon, yet like many women's health topics, it remains relatively under-discussed.In this empowering conversation, Veronica helps me understand how she overcame her grief, let go of her dreams to become a mother, and her path to acceptance. She found a way to turn this life experience into something that supports other people and helps them process their stories. She believes women should feel balanced and confident to live empowered, easeful, and joyful lives — regardless of where they are in their life cycle.My biggest takeaway from this conversation has be to accept the path I am on, and to soften some of my tightly held needs and timelines while I am on this TTC journey. It is an important reminder for all of us, as we move through this monthly loop of hope and heartbreak, that we need to stay kind to ourselves, do what makes us feel empowered, and stay in tune with who we are outside of becoming mothers. As hard as it can be, this journey should not define us and our worth.It is incredibly brave and inspiring for Veronica to share her story and I am honoured to have her trust.xxAnnaRESOURCES FROM EPISODE TWELVE:The Daisy Network - a nonprofit organisation that is dedicated to supporting women with Premature Ovarian Insufficiency.Understanding Early Menopause: Premature Ovarian Insufficiency - YouTube VideoThe Childless Collective - @childlesscollectiveContact Veronica:Website - www.veronicasantini.comInstagram - @veronicasantini_yogaDownload a FREE meditation "say goodbye to anxiety in 10 minutes" - https://preview.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/t0f0s7Upcoming retreat: www.veronicasantini.com/escapetogreeceWant to follow along? BUMPS PODCAST INSTAGRAM @bumpspodcastContact Anna:[email protected]://thebigpivot.substack.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is one of the scariest episodes I have put live to date! But, it feels like a really important one, too.Throughout this period, a lot of people have asked us how we are doing, and if all of this has had an impact on our relationship. We thought it was a fair question, and we decided to not try and explain the answer ourselves, but instead to seek out the help of a couple's therapist!Together with Angelica Magana, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, we discuss:Why couple's therapy isn't only for relationships that have broken downThe importance of getting third party support during infertility or trying to conceiveUnderstanding that we often have different coping mechanisms to handle situations like thisWhy the women don't always need the guys to "fix it" ;)How to identify each other's triggersKnowing how to communicate when things get heated,When it's appropriate to take a time outHow to deal with feelings of guilt and self blameAnd how to keep the fun and spark in your relationship!As always, I walked away from this conversation with a tonne of insight. I only hope it serves as a reminder to any couples who may be struggling that whatever you're going through is normal, and it's okay. It's part of a challenging road that we all need to learn to navigate, often on our own.You've got this!xxAnnaRESOURCES FROM EPISODE EVELENContact Angelica Magana:Instagram @angelicamtherapyWebsite (The Netherlands) https://www.angelicamaganatherapy.nlLinkedInWANT TO FOLLOW ALONG?Bumps Podcast InstagramContact Anna:[email protected]://thebigpivot.substack.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Miscarriage. You know how common it is, you know the risks, and yet you still don’t really think it will happen to you. At least I didn’t. And although we go through a similar experience, miscarriage can mean something immensely different to everyone. That is why I felt it was important to do this episode. 6 months on since our miscarriage, I definitely didn't think we would still be here, with no positive pregnancy test half a year later. But I now feel like enough time has passed for me to revisit it and talk about it openly.To help me navigate this conversation, I invited back two of the most supportive women I had the luck of speaking with during my own miscarriage.Dr Sarah Farrell - a GP with a special interest in women’s health, fertility, pregnancy and contraception and mother of 3.Robine Padberg-Hill - a psychotherapist specialising with women in perinatal and mother.During this special episode, we discuss:My personal experience with miscarriage, and how it played out. Pregnant is pregnant! No matter how early on your miscarriage was, you have the right to grieve that loss. The mismatch between the experience we are going through and the response we may get from our healthcare provider. The different types of miscarriage - primarily spontaneous complete, threatened (incomplete) miscarriage, missed miscarriage.The various emotional reactions people may go through depending on how their miscarriage plays out.Reasons for miscarriage (spoiler alert: there probably was no reason!) Why we are saying no to the “12 week rule" !!Ways to manage miscarriage - expectant management (watch and wait), medical management, surgical intervention (D&C).What happens post miscarriage? The stages of grief - shock, denial, bargaining, anger, depression, acceptance, and hope. The importance of community, sharing and talking about our experiences.Ways we can learn to talk about miscarriage.How you can support a friend or family member who suffering a miscarriage.How couples can help each other through miscarriage.Normalising that the grieving process can be different between partners.Resources to find support.As always, I hope this episode falls into the ears of anyone who needs it.xxAnnaRESOURCES FROM EPISODE TEN:Pink Elephant - miscarriage and early pregnancy loss support - https://www.pinkelephants.org.au/Sands Australia - miscarriage, stillbirth, and newborn death support - https://www.sands.org.au/PSI - https://www.postpartum.net/How do you help grieving friend - YouTube videoDarling Shine PodcastHilary Metcalfe's Guide to Navigating Miscarriage - https://thesabi.co/blogs/conscious-collective/guide-to-navigating-miscarriageWANT TO FOLLOW ALONG?Bumps Podcast InstagramContact Anna:[email protected]://thebigpivot.substack.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

An Aussie meets a Kiwi in this episode of Bumps Along the Way!Amsterdam-based Francesca Lyon is a naturopath and medical herbalist. After experiencing a severe burnout during the start of her career in advertising, she made a switch to study natural medicine, learning how to live with a body in balance and thankfully reaping the rewards herself!Together, we explore:Francesca’s personal experience with stress and burnout Coming off the hormonal birth control pill What a body in balance looks likeWhat is naturopathy? How can naturopathy help with trying to conceive? The impact of stress on fertility and conceivingWhy it's important to look 50/50 at both sperm and egg qualityThe decline of sperm healthHow naturopathy can support unexplained infertilityHow we can improve egg qualityThe importance of follicle health And, why it might be time to toss the scented candles and perfumes while we're trying to conceiveAs always, there's a lot I took out of this conversation and I hope you will too!xxAnnaRESOURCES FROM EP 9Contact Francesca:Instagram @francescalyon_naturopathyEmail [email protected] http://flnaturopathy.com/Francesca is based in Amsterdam but is available for video consultations!Future Women hormone testing & personal plans - https://future-woman.com/WANT TO FOLLOW ALONG?Bumps Podcast InstagramContact Anna:[email protected]://thebigpivot.substack.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ever since we started struggling to conceive, I have had the feeling something is not right. Maybe it's the yoga keeping me in touch with my body, maybe it's all the journalling and self-reflection. Maybe it's just gut instinct. But no matter that it was, we finally got the answers we have been looking for after a visit to a fertility clinic in Belgium.With any diagnosis, it can be a lot to process. So I chatted with my long-time friend and fertility midwife Tor Chivers about our recent tests, procedures and results. Together we unpack the blood tests, MRI and hysteroscopy procedures that brought us to the diagnosis that helps to explain the reason I have struggled to fall (and stay) pregnant. Also, my husband learns his sperm quality has been low, another important reminder that in fertility, it really is 50/50!The bumps in the road are not over for us. The treatment begins and that will bring its own set of challenges. But, we feel eternally grateful to have answers knowing so many people out there are still searching for theirs. If this is you, I'm sending so much love, and urge you to keep pushing your healthcare providers to look deeper.xxAnnaIf you would like to learn more about any of the discussed topics, I have found the following links particularly helpful:AMHhttps://www.littleangelivf.com/blog/fertility/amh-test-normal-range-and-amh-levels/ Dysmorphic (T-shaped) uterus and my up-coming metroplastyhttps://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34319061/https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31146029/Decapeptyl injectionshttps://www.medicines.org.uk/emc/files/pil.963.pdfhttps://www.news-medical.net/drugs/Decapeptyl.aspxWANT TO FOLLOW ALONG?Bumps Podcast InstagramContact Anna:[email protected]://thebigpivot.substack.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's difficult to truly capture Jen's story.Coming off birth control, post-pill amenorrhea from the iud, being pressured to conceive because of her age, multiple rounds of failed IVF, thyroid dysfunction, blocked fallopian tubes, chronic insomnia, hormones, medication, sleeping pills, covid, lockdown, secondary infertility, miscarriage, pregnancy loss, D&C.There's not much Jen didn't experience on her extremely bumpy road to motherhood. Twice.Jen's story is a reminder that no matter how tough things get, no matter how many months drag by, no matter how many negative pregnancy tests or failed rounds or lack of answers, there is always hope.Better have some tissues handy!xxAnnaWant to follow along? BUMPS PODCAST INSTAGRAMContact Anna:[email protected]://thebigpivot.substack.com/Connect with Jen:Website - Elements Pilates YogaYoutube @elementpilatesyogaInstagram @jen.elementspilatesyogaMore about Elements Pilates Yoga:Element Pilates & Yoga supports your journey to motherhood through tailored, online Pilates + Yoga programs. Jen's aim is to work with your cycle & assist with natural conception or where needed, we also guide you through assisted fertility cycles and IVF. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Eat a balanced diet.""Eat the rainbow.""Eat healthy."When it comes to eating for fertility and pregnancy, there is so much vague, conflicting and outdated advice out there. Plant based vs meat based. Yes or no to intermittent fasting? Do I really have to give up my beloved coffee!?When I did fall pregnant back in January, I set out to uncover what specifically a healthy and balanced diet means via research that is science-based and modern. And that's how I came across Brooke Boskovich.Brooke became passionate about women's health and fertility after her own struggles with irregular cycles, autoimmune diseases, gut troubles and fertility. Brooke is a Registered Dietitian and functional & integrative practitioner. Founder of the Fertility Blueprint Program, she specialises in helping couples optimise their fertility and take home healthy babies.During this conversation, Brooke explains the pillars that form the foundation of fertility: nutrition, movement, stress, sleep and environment.We also discuss:Common household products that can be harmful for fertility (hot tip: it might be time to toss your plastic containers and scented candles!)What specifically to avoid when eating for pregnancyAnd real, specific examples of what an optimal diet looks like whilst trying to conceiveMake sure you have a pen and paper handy for this episode!!xxAnnaWant to follow along?BUMPS PODCAST INSTAGRAMContact Anna:[email protected]://thebigpivot.substack.com/RESOURCES FROM EP 6:Real Food for Pregnancy - a book I read when I fell pregnant that changed a lot of my views on how to eat before and during pregnancy.D-Minder - app that tells you the ideal time for vitamin D exposure based on your location.Contact Brooke:Website - thefertilitydietician.healthBlog - https://www.thefertilitydietitian.health/blogInstagram @the.fertility.dieticianEnrol in the Fertility Blueprint Program  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sometimes the "bump" in the road to pregnancy and parenthood is not what we assume it is.Sometimes, it has nothing to do with fertility at all.What would you do, if during your late 20's your long-term relationship ended and your dream of becoming a Mother suddenly feels very far away?What happens when, while you're building an incredible life for yourself, the dream of being a Mother doesn't leave you?How long do you give yourself before taking a leap of faith and making the brave decision to become a single Mum?And, once that decision is made, how do you become a single Mom? What are the steps involved?This is exactly what my inspirational former colleague Astrid Beekhuis went through when she reached the age of 35 and said out loud for the first time, "I want to become a single Mom."In this episode of Bumps Along the Way, Astrid, an HR professional from the Netherlands, shares her inspiring story to become a single Mom by choice. We discuss how she weighed up and eventually made the decision, who she went to for support and community, the process itself, and how life as a single Mom has been for her.I am blown away by Astrid's bravery, honesty, and vulnerability and am so grateful she trusted me to share her story.xxAnnaWant to follow along?BUMPS PODCAST INSTAGRAMContact Anna:[email protected]://thebigpivot.substack.com/RESOURCES FROM EP 5:Cryos International Sperm Bank - https://www.cryosinternational.com/'Geen partner, wel een kinderwens' by Barbara Lammerts Van Bueren - the book on becoming a single mom (in Dutch) that Astrid read while she was making her decision Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's no secret I went into trying for a baby pretty naively. I didn't do a lot of research, I didn't have any conversations, and I definitely made a lot of assumptions.In this episode, I wanted to ask all the questions I WISH I had asked two years ago when the idea to start trying popped into our minds and hearts. So I paired up with perinatal women's health GP, Dr Sarah Farrell, to help me bring things back to basics.Sarah and I talk ALL THINGS trying to conceive, including:The stats around fertility and infertilityWhat is a regular menstrual cycle?How worried should someone with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) be about falling pregnant?How long is the ovulation window, really?How do I know if I am ovulating?Are cycle tracking apps reliable indicators of ovulation?What can I do, versus not do, during the dreaded two-week wait!?Sarah also offers insight into her personal journey, including being diagnosed with PCOS, having 5 pregnancies in 5 years, and complicated childbirth. She shares how all of these bumps in the road helped her become a better women's health doctor.Finally, I give you a snapshot into the last couple of weeks for me, and where I'm at in this loop of hope and heartbreak.xxAnnaWant to follow along?BUMPS PODCAST INSTAGRAMContact Anna:[email protected]://thebigpivot.substack.com/RESOURCES FROM EP 4:Dr Sarah's Instagram - @dr.sarah.farrell - follow this!!The article Sarah referenced was written by Arwa Mahadawi and published in The Guardian - It is time to reassess our obsession with women’s fertility and the number 35 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trying to decide if you should have a baby is not a small decision!In fact, it's probably the first bump along the way to motherhood that we all encounter.Am I ready for this responsibility? Am I going to be able to give this baby the best possible life? What if I’m not a good Mother?There are so many things to consider before having a baby, and nobody resonates more with this than the incredible Eva Murray.If you’re currently considering trying, or wondering if you will ever know if it’s really the right time, this is the episode of Bumps for you.Eva shares so much valuable insight based on her own years of soul searching, and the struggle between her head and her heart.Eva also shares her own story of miscarriage, what it’s like continuing in a 9-5 job during that experience, becoming a mature age mother and how we can all be more empathetic towards people who are still in there, trying to conceive. Anna xxContact Anna:[email protected]://thebigpivot.substack.com/BUMPS PODCAST INSTAGRAMRESOURCES FROM EP 3:The Panic Years by Nell Frizzell - https://www.amazon.com/Panic-Years-Doubts-Mother-Decisions/dp/1250268125The Panic Years Podcast - https://nellfrizzell.com/podcastAnd a list of books enjoyed by Eva while she was trying to decide if it was time for a baby:Childfree by Choice: The Movement Redefining Family and Creating a New Age of Independence by Dr. Amy BlackstoneCome as You Are by Emily Nagoski PhDCassandra Speaks: When Women Are The Storytellers, the Human Story Changes by Elizabeth LesserPlease Yourself: How to Stop People-Pleasing and Transform the Way You Live by Emma Reed TurrellFix the System, not the Women by Laura BatesThe No Club: Putting a Stop to Women's Dead End Work by Linda Babcock, Brenda Peyser, Lise Vesterlund, Laurie R. WeingartMother of Invention: How Good Ideas Get Ignored in an Economy Built for Men by Katrine MarçalLife Lessons from Remarkable Women by StylistDo what you love, love what you do by Holly TuckerA Mindful Pregnancy by Andy PuddicombeMore Than a Woman by Caitlin Moran Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.