Episode 224: Finding Happiness in Others' Joy

Imagine feeling a burst of joy every time someone else wins. A friend gets a promotion, your sister finds love, a stranger shares good news, and you feel happiness with them. That spark of delight is the heart of sympathetic joy, or mudita, a Buddhist practice that  flips the script on comparison and jeaousy. It turns the happiness of others into a source of our own happiness. It's not magic, but it feels like it. When sympathetic joy is practiced with the bodhicitta intention to become a Buddha for the benefit of all beings, it becomes "Immeasurable Joy." Immeasurable Joy is a trained capacity, a state of mind you can cultivate until it becomes natural and limitless. When we learn to genuinely rejoice in others' good fortune, our own heart becomes lighter. Life feels less like a competition and more like a shared celebration. Science-backed Benefits of Sympathetic Joy: Greater life satisfaction and happiness Better relationships More willingness to help others Better health outcomes and lower stress (Smith, 2022) Ways to practice sympathetic joy: Use meditation:  Start with a loved one: Begin by focusing on someone you care about and genuinely rejoicing in their happiness.  Expand the feeling: Gradually extend this feeling to others you are neutral toward, and then to those you find difficult.  Change your mindset: Instead of feeling that happiness is scarce, recognize the interconnectedness of all beings and cultivate an appreciation for what you have.  Practice gratitude: Cultivating a sense of gratitude for your own life can help you rejoice in the good fortune of others without feeling like there is less for you.  Sympathetic joy is one of the Four Immeasurables in Mahayana Buddhism: Immeasurable Love Immeasurable Compassion Immeasurable Joy Immeasurable Equanimity "One day, a Brahmin man asked the Buddha, 'What can I do to be sure that I will be with Brahma after I die?' The Buddha replied,'As Brahma is the source of Love, to dwell with him you must practice the Brahma-viharas [Four Immeasurables]—love, compassion, joy, and equanimity. (Hahn, 1997)" References with links: Smith, Jeremy Adam (March, 2022). What Is Sympathetic Joy and How Can You Feel More of It? Greater Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life. Retrieved from: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/what_is_sympathetic_joy_and_how_can_you_feel_more_of_it Hahn, Thich Naht (1997). Dharma Talk: The Four Immeasurable Minds. Parallax Press. Retrieved from: https://www.parallax.org/mindfulnessbell/article/dharma-talk-the-four-immeasurable-minds-2/ Find us at the links below:  Our Link Tree: https://linktr.ee/BuddhismForEveryone Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Buddhismforeveryone Private Facebook Group:: https://www.facebook.com/groups/sanghatalk/ Website: Buddhismforeveryone.com Instagram: @buddhism4everyone X: @Joannfox77 TikTok: @buddhism4everyone YouTube: @Buddhism4Everyone To learn more about virtual classes with JoAnn Fox: Buddhist Study Program To learn about Life Coaching with JoAnn Fox visit www.BuddhismforEveryone.com/coaching or email JoAnn Fox at [email protected]

We constantly make small choices that shape the reality of our relationships, whether with our partner, children, friends, or colleagues. They determine whether we deepen connection or cause resentment and distance to quietly grow. Every moment holds a fork in the road: Will I feed love, or will I feed pain? In this episode, we look the difference between love and attachment. Love is the wish that another person be happy. Attachment is the wish that they make us happy. Attachment is the habit of selfishness in relationships that causes pain. The strength of a relationship is directly proportional to how much more love is practiced, rather than attachment. Buddhist Teacher, JoAnn Fox, also shares a simple mindfulness practice to help us feed love and not pain. All the happiness there is in this world  Arises from wishing others to be happy.  And all the suffering there is in this world  Arises from wishing oneself to be happy. Shantideva Find us at the links below:  Our Link Tree: https://linktr.ee/BuddhismForEveryone Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Buddhismforeveryone Private Facebook Group:: https://www.facebook.com/groups/sanghatalk/ Website: Buddhismforeveryone.com Instagram: @buddhism4everyone X: @Joannfox77 TikTok: @buddhism4everyone YouTube: @Buddhism4Everyone To learn more about virtual classes with JoAnn Fox: Buddhist Study Program To learn about Life Coaching with JoAnn Fox visit www.BuddhismforEveryone.com/coaching

Longtime Buddhist Teacher, JoAnn Fox, explores five powerful Buddhist antidotes to anger and aversion:   patience acceptance recognizing karma remembering impermanence seeing other people or challenges as spiritual teachers compassion Learn how to meet challenges with wisdom instead of reaction. Buddha reminds us that peace isn't about avoiding pain; it's about understanding it.  By practicing a simple yet profound method, W.A.I.T What Am I Thinking, we begin to free ourselves from the fires of aversion and cultivate genuine calm instead. In this way, we can transform difficult people and situations into profound opportunities for spiritual growth. "Because I am patient and do no wrong to those who harm me, I have become a refuge to many." - Buddha References and Links Buddha (1986).The Dhammapada: Verses and Stories, Verse 399. Translated by Daw Mya Tin, M.A. (Website). Edited by Editorial Committee, Burma Tipitaka Association Rangoon. Courtesy .of Nibbana.com. For free distribution only, as a gift of dhamma. Retrieved from https://www.tipitaka.net/tipitaka/dhp/verseload.php?verse=399 Find us at the links below:  Our Link Tree: https://linktr.ee/BuddhismForEveryone Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Buddhismforeveryone Private Facebook Group:: https://www.facebook.com/groups/sanghatalk/ Website: Buddhismforeveryone.com Instagram: @buddhism4everyone X: @Joannfox77 TikTok: @buddhism4everyone YouTube: @Buddhism4Everyone To learn more about virtual classes with JoAnn Fox: Buddhist Study Program To learn about Life Coaching with JoAnn Fox visit www.BuddhismforEveryone.com/coaching

Delusions are distorted ways of looking at things that make our mind unpeaceful and uncontrolled. Anger exaggerates someone's faults. Attachment exaggerates someone's good qualities. Both lead us away from reality and keep us trapped in craving or aversion. Buddha taught that what fuels delusions is inappropriate attention. When we dwell on thoughts that feed our delusions, we are engaging in "inappropriate attention." The way all delusions arise: Object + inappropriate attention = Delusion With anger, inappropriate attention might look like replaying an insult, focusing only on someone's faults, or exaggerating how much they've harmed us. Each time we dwell on these thoughts, our anger grows stronger. Appropriate attention brings peace. We might notice the impermanence of the situation, remember the person's good qualities, or recognize that anger hurts us more than it hurts anyone else. This kind of attention dissolves anger's grip. The same process that fuels anger also feeds jealousy and attachment. When we compare ourselves to others or fixate on what we lack, jealousy arises. When we focus on only the pleasurable or ideal aspects of someone or something, attachment takes root. Both are forms of clinging to illusions. We can train our minds to shift this attention. When you notice your train of thought is leading to the darkside--inappropriate attention-- you can say to yourself: "W.A.I.T. What am I thinking?" Are these thoughts leading me to peace or away from peace? How can I redirect my thoughts? This simple shift of attention offers profound freedom. By learning to direct our attention wisely, we begin to choose peace over pain, compassion over comparison, and clarity over illusion. All experience is preceded by mind,  Led by mind,  Made by mind.  Speak or act with a corrupted mind,  And suffering follows  As the wagon wheel follows the hoof of the ox.    All experience is preceded by mind,  Led by mind,  Made by mind.  Speak or act with a peaceful mind, And happiness follows  Like a never-departing shadow.  --Buddha, The Dhammapada, Verse 1 - 2 References and Links Buddha.The Dhammapada. Translated by Gil Fronsdale. (Kindle). Shambala, Boston and London, 2011. Find us at the links below:  Our Link Tree: https://linktr.ee/BuddhismForEveryone Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Buddhismforeveryone Private Facebook Group:: https://www.facebook.com/groups/sanghatalk/ Website: Buddhismforeveryone.com Instagram: @buddhism4everyone X: @Joannfox77 TikTok: @buddhism4everyone YouTube: @Buddhism4Everyone To learn more about virtual classes with JoAnn Fox: Buddhist Study Program To learn about Life Coaching with JoAnn Fox visit www.BuddhismforEveryone.com/coaching

In this episode, JoAnn Fox shares the practice of W.A.I.T.—What Am I Thinking? to help us cultivate self-compassion and retrain the often-critical voice in our minds. Through mindfulness, we can begin to notice the thoughts that shape how we treat ourselves, and choose a kinder, more beneficial way to respond. The Buddha said:  All experience is preceded by mind,  Led by mind,  Made by mind.  Our world is created by our thoughts. Every word, every action, every mood begins as a whisper in the mind. And sometimes, those whispers aren't so kind. When we notice the narrator in our head becoming unkind, we can pause and think, 'WAIT! What am I thinking?' Then we try to speak to ourselves with compassion instead of judgment.  Observe any specific automatic patterns of self-criticism, doubt, or fear. Gradually try to replace them with thoughts rooted in compassion, understanding, and encouragement. For a more on the practice of W.A.I.T for developing self-compassion, see our blog post Awakening Self-Compassion.  The Five Gates of Speech The Buddha, in his gentle wisdom, offered a path to mindful speech through what he called "The Five Gatekeepers of Speech." These gatekeepers stand like sentinels, reminding us to pause and make sure our words can pass through these five gates: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it beneficial? Is it necessary? Is it the right time? References and Links Buddha.The Dhammapada. Translated by Gil Fronsdale. (Kindle). Shambala, Boston and London, 2011. Neff, Kristin. (n.d.). What is self-compassion? Self-Compassion.org. Retrieved https://self-compassion.org/what-is-self-compassion Find us at the links below:  Our Link Tree: https://linktr.ee/BuddhismForEveryone Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Buddhismforeveryone Private Facebook Group:: https://www.facebook.com/groups/sanghatalk/ Website: Buddhismforeveryone.com Instagram: @buddhism4everyone X: @Joannfox77 TikTok: @buddhism4everyone YouTube: @Buddhism4Everyone To learn more about virtual classes with JoAnn Fox: Buddhist Study Program To learn about Life Coaching with JoAnn Fox visit www.BuddhismforEveryone.com/coaching  

"The rain could turn to gold and still your thirst would not be slaked," the Buddha said. He was pointing to the endless cycle of craving, the restless thirst that keeps us searching outside ourselves for satisfaction. Even if we were showered with gold, our longing would not end. So how do we free ourselves from this thirst? In this Fan Favorite episode, we look for the answer in understanding the connection between emptiness and craving.   When Buddhism speaks of emptiness (shunyata), it doesn't mean that nothing exists. It means that nothing exists inherently or independently. Everything arises because of many causes and conditions.   Think about a table. It seems to be a table all on its own. But in truth, it depends on wood, on carpenters, on the label "table," and on our own minds to recognize it. Without these causes (and many more), the table as we know it doesn't exist. Even beauty works this way. If we see a flower as beautiful, we think the beauty is "out there." Yet without our mind, that beauty would never appear. Emptiness reveals that our world is far more fluid and interdependent than it seems.   The Buddha described craving as tanha, which literally means thirst. This isn't just enjoying things; it's clinging to them for happiness or pleasure. He compared it to tasting honey on a razor's edge. The first taste is sweet, but pain follows. That's what happens when we cling to pleasures, possessions, or people: we suffer when they change, disappear, or fall short of our hopes. Craving always promises satisfaction but never delivers.   At the root of craving is a misunderstanding. We think things exist solidly and permanently, as if beauty, pleasure, or comfort live inside them. But emptiness shows us this isn't true.   When you enjoy a sunset, your mind is part of creating that beauty. When you savor a meal, your mind is shaping the pleasure. But we don't see it this way. We believe the joy is built into the object itself. So we cling, hoping to hold it forever.   Once we understand emptiness, craving begins to dissolve. We see the truth: things are impermanent, interdependent, and shaped by the mind. We can still enjoy them, but we don't need to grasp so tightly.   The Buddha taught that the end of craving is the end of suffering. When we realize emptiness, ignorance loosens its grip. We don't stop enjoying life! We stop demanding that impermanent things give us permanent happiness. Instead of chasing after more, we can finally enjoy and relax in freedom.   References and Links Buddha.The Dhammapada. Translated by Gil Fronsdale. (Kindle). Shambala, Boston and London, 2011, pp. 78 (Link)   Buddha (1986).The Dhammapada: Verses and Stories. Translated by Daw Mya Tin, M.A. (Website). Edited by Editorial Committee, Burma Tipitaka Association Rangoon. Courtesy .of Nibbana.com. For free distribution only, as a gift of dhamma. Retrieved from https://www.tipitaka.net/tipitaka/dhp/verseload.php?verse=386   Find us at the links below:  Our Link Tree: https://linktr.ee/BuddhismForEveryone Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Buddhismforeveryone Facebook Group: Join our private group at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/sanghatalk/ Website: Buddhismforeveryone.com Instagram: @buddhism4everyone X: @Joannfox77 TikTok: @buddhism4everyone To learn more about virtual classes with JoAnn Fox: Buddhist Study Program To learn about Life Coaching with JoAnn Fox visit www.BuddhismforEveryone.com/coaching

The Buddha said that the minds of his followers should "constantly, day and night, delight in spiritual practice." But what practice can we stitch into the fabric of ordinary days? This fan-favorite epsiode explores a spiritual thread that can run through work, family, errands, and all the passing moments that make up our lives.   Cherishing others requires no shrine, no retreat, no special circumstance—only a special intention. To cherish another means we think and act on this intention, "Your happiness matters. I will work for your happiness."   Whether it's the barista, a child, a colleague, or a stranger in the grocery store, cherishing others transforms every interaction into a step on the spiritual path.   Cherishing others is loving-kindness, or metta, in action. This practice softens the heart. It also dismantles the walls of self-cherishing (selfishness), our habit of "me first" that actually gives rise to our own pain.   The Buddha taught that cherishing others is the root of all good qualities, from patience to compassion, and the sacred root from which enlightenment eventually blossoms.   The Buddha also taught that cherishing others helps solve problems and creates the causes of happiness (through creating good karma). And science, centuries later, agrees. A 2024 study involving three countries and 4,000 people found that even one act of kindness a week toward others decreased loneliness, social anxiety, neighborhood conflict, and isolation.  Even our bodies rejoice when we cherish others. Researchers at the University of British Columbia found that people who regularly performed kind acts had lower blood pressure and reduced inflammatory markers—key factors in long-term health. And a study from Carnegie Mellon University showed that offering support to loved ones was linked to lower cortisol levels and improved immune response.   Cherishing others is beneficial for the mind and weaves joy into everyday life. What if, day and night, we delighted in this? If you are interested in working with JoAnn Fox as a Life/Spiritual Coach, visit https://buddhismforeveryone.com/coaching   References and Links Buddha. The Dhammapada, Translated by Gil Fronsdale. (Kindle). Shambala, Boston and London, 2011, pp. 76 Gill, Sharman. (Nov. 2024). BYU study shows that even one act of kindness a week improves wellbeings for individuals, communites. Retrieved from: https://www.verywellmind.com/how-random-acts-of-kindness-can-boost-your-health-5105301   Find us athe links below: Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/Buddhismforeveryone Facebook Group: Join our private group at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/sanghatalk/ Instagram: @buddhism4everyone X: @Joannfox77 TikTok: @buddhism4everyone To learn more about virtual classes with JoAnn Fox: Buddhist Study Program  

We're bringing back a fan favorite episode from the Buddhism for Everyone archives with an exploration of fear, anxiety, and bravery. Fearlessness is often spoken of in Buddhist teachings, but here we go beyond the idea of simply "being brave" to uncover how the Buddha understood fear itself. Together, we'll look at what causes fear, the antidotes that dissolve it, and how we can tap into the quiet courage already within us. In Buddhism, there is a distinction between skillful fear and unskillful fear. Skillful fear can protect us. An example of skilful fear is noticing a subway train barreling down the tracks and stepping back. But unskillful fear? That's the kind that traps us, limits us, and leads to actions that cause suffering. In this beloved episode, we explore unskillful fear and how to meet it with wisdom, compassion, and practical tools for everyday life. We also examine the common forms unskillful fear takes, such as: Fear of things that may or may not happen Fear of the inevitable changes of life, like aging Fear for the safety or happiness of those we love This episode has been replayed again and again by listeners who say it's brought them peace, clarity, and even a little spark of bravery. We're so happy to share it with you once more. Find us at the links below:  Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/Buddhismforeveryone Facebook Group: Join our private group at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/sanghatalk/ Instagram: @buddhism4everyone X: @Joannfox77 TikTok: @buddhism4everyone To learn more about virtual classes with JoAnn Fox: Buddhist Study Program

Have you ever walked away from a conversation and thought, "Why did I just say that?" Oh, me too. But thankfully, the Buddha left us plenty of tools to transform even our speech into something sacred. In this episode, we explore an acronym I recently added to my spiritual toolbox, W.A.I.T. — Why Am I Talking? Before we speak, we can pause and ask ourselves this simple question to check our motivation. Are we trying to connect or control? Are we speaking from kindness or merely from habit? The Four Gates of Speech Another powerful filter comes directly from the Buddha. Before we speak, we can ask ourselves if our words pass through these Four Gates: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it the right time? The Downfalls of Speech In the Buddhist teaching on Right Speech, the Buddha identified four types of unskillful speech that cause harm: Lying – intentionally deceiving Divisive speech – creating conflict or turning people against each other Harsh speech – cruel, aggressive, or hurtful words Idle gossip– pointless talk that distracts and wastes energy We can gradually reduce these habits and move toward speech that uplifts, heals, and connects. A Practice You Can Try Today Next time you're about to speak, even just in casual conversation, take a beat and ask: "W.A.I.T — Why am I talking?" You might find there's wisdom in the silence. Or you might find your words come from a more beautiful place, a place of kindness, truth, and intention. Find us at the links below:  Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/Buddhismforeveryone Facebook Group: Join our private group at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/sanghatalk/ Instagram: @buddhism4everyone X: @Joannfox77 TikTok: @buddhism4everyone To learn more about virtual classes with JoAnn Fox: Buddhist Study Program  

This episode is a gentle return to something simple, sacred, and too often forgotten: the present moment. The only moment we ever truly have.  We explore what it means to really be present. True calm arises when we're not lost in yesterday's story or tomorrow's worries but rest in the stillness of the now. JoAnn Fox, a Buddhist teacher of over twenty years, will talk about why presence is the ground of peace, the birthplace of connection, and the secret doorway to joy. Let's take a breath and be here now. They do not grieve over the past, Nor do they yearn for the future; They live only in the present — That is why their face is so calm.   It's from yearning for the future, And from grieving over the past; This is how fools become withered Like a fresh reed that's been hacked down. –Buddha, from the Arañña Sutta (A Face So Calm)   Resources Buddha, translated by Andrew Olendzki, 2006. The Arañña Sutta: A Face So Calm. Retrieved from: https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn01/sn01.010.olen.html Find us at the links below:  Get Free Tickets to Live Class July 19, 2025 on Zoom: www.Buddhismforeveryone.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Buddhismforeveryone Facebook Group: Join our private group at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/sanghatalk/ Instagram: @buddhism4everyone X: @Joannfox77 TikTok: @buddhism4everyone To learn more about virtual classes with JoAnn Fox: Buddhist Study Program Our Dharma Shop on Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/BuddhismForEveryone