Our Memories Don’t Match: Should I Show Up For My Ex-Stepson?

In this episode of Blended, Kate Ferdinand is joined by Nathalie and Cilla, who shares an update on a family situation she previously opened up about and how she handled a recent interaction with that family member. They tackle a tricky dilemma, a woman who separated from her husband admits she never felt fully accepted by her stepchildren. She showed up, she tried, but she remembers distance and rejection. Now, years later, her ex stepson has invited her to his wedding, describing her as a big part of his life. She is shocked. She does not remember it that way. She is asking whether she is obligated to go, and whether she needs to honour his version of the past when her experience felt so different. Kate, Nathalie and Cilla unpack what it means when memories do not match, why children may remember your presence differently than you do, and whether closure has to look like attendance. They explore the right to protect your peace, the power of simply showing up, and how blended relationships can leave lasting impact even when they felt strained at the time. This episode is about perspective, boundaries and the complicated legacy of step parenting.   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions around coercive and post separation abuse.In this episode of Blended, Kate Ferdinand and Cilla are joined by Jess, known online as @JessRunsForSurvivors. Jess creates content around co-parenting with someone with narcissistic traits and is a patron for the charity Mums in Need, which supports women facing post separation abuse and coercive control.Jess shares part of her own story and what life has been like navigating co parenting with someone displaying narcissistic behaviours. She explains the complexity around narcissism as a disorder, why it requires clinical diagnosis, and why obtaining that diagnosis is often difficult.The panel then tackles two difficult listener dilemmas.In the first, a stepmum is worried that her stepdaughter’s behaviour dramatically shifts after time spent at her dad’s house. The child returns hostile towards her stepsister and stepdad, repeating phrases that feel planted. The stepmum fears the dynamic is slowly destabilising her home and does not know how to protect her family without escalating the situation.In the second dilemma, a woman describes how her ex presents as charming and composed publicly, yet attempts to undermine her behind the scenes. He has contacted her workplace claiming concern about her mental health and continues to interfere in subtle but damaging ways. Kate and Cilla admit they find parts of these stories difficult to comprehend, questioning how anyone copes with this level of manipulation. Jess offers practical tools and strategies including grey rocking, tightening communication, regulating tone, and even using tools like AI to draft neutral responses in high conflict situations. For more support follow @jessrunsforsurvivors and check out Mums In Need Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mother’s Day has always meant something special to Blended. Please Note: This episode was recorded on Thursday 26th February, before the recent conflict in the Middle East. As mums and as a podcast that talks about family life, our hearts are with everyone affected by the devastating events that have unfolded since this recording. This episode is the first ever remote recording of Blended, Kate recorded from Dubai on while Nathalie and Cilla joined from London.After putting a question box out to the Blended Instagram, the messages flooded in. One major theme was the pressure around buying gifts for the ex. Several stepmums shared that their partner expects them to organise Mother’s Day cards and presents for the bio mum, sometimes even extravagant ones. The panel discusses boundaries, emotional labour and whether managing that relationship is really the stepmum’s responsibility.They also tackle the complex dynamic of stepping into a family where the children’s mum has passed away. What happens when you are doing the daily parenting but feel you cannot be publicly celebrated in case it upsets extended family? Kate shares her own experience and how she has navigated that delicate balance.Alongside the dilemmas, the ladies open up about how they will be spending Mother’s Day themselves and why this date continues to matter so much to the show. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

 One stepmum feels ignored in her concerns. Another feels invisible in her relationship. This week on Blended, Kate Ferdinand and Nathalie are joined by therapist, bestselling author, TV presenter and podcast host Anna Williamson for an honest conversation about child anxiety and what happens to intimacy when life changes overnight.Anna speaks openly about her own mental health journey and why it led her to her training as a therapist and write the books she has. Her perspective shapes two powerful listener dilemmas.In the first, a stepmum believes she can see clear signs of anxiety in her stepdaughter. She notices changes in behaviour, emotional withdrawal and subtle warning signs, but her partner insists she is projecting. Is she overstepping or is she the only adult paying attention? Anna breaks down what anxiety can really look like in children, the role phones and social media may play and how to raise concerns without damaging your relationship.In the second dilemma, a stepmum admits her relationship has completely changed since the children moved in full time. What used to be spontaneous and passionate now feels interrupted and distant. She jokes that the kids have a spidy sense for knowing exactly when she and her partner are about to get it on. The panel discuss how blended life can quietly erode intimacy, why resentment builds and practical ways to protect your relationship when parenting takes over.Don’t forget to rate and review, also we love hearing from you so follow @blended on Instagram to share your story. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When you choose to stay after an affair but the affair created a child, what does moving forward really look like?This week on Blended, Kate Ferdinand is joined by Nathalie and Cilla to unpack two deeply emotional dilemmas about families that didn’t break apart but were permanently changed.In the first, a wife shares how she and her husband worked through his infidelity but now there is a child from the affair. At a recent BBQ she felt embarrassed, exposed and emotionally overwhelmed. She never imagined becoming a stepmum this way, yet her husband wants everyone to come together as one family. In the second dilemma, the extended family invites the Love child’s mother to gatherings. The panel reacts strongly as they discuss boundaries, respect and whether forgiveness of a partner automatically means full acceptance of everything that came from the betrayal.Kate admits she finds this one hard. She and Cilla debate what forgiveness really means in practice and can you truly separate an innocent child from the pain attached to how they arrived? Nathalie questions whether forgiving without consequence risks repeating the cycle.This episode is honest, emotional and challenging because sometimes healing isn’t about leaving, It's about learning how to live with what happened.Follow @blended on Instagram to share your story. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kate Ferdinand is joined by Cilla and special guest co-host Chuckie Online, presenter, DJ and podcast host, for a powerful conversation from the perspective we don’t hear often enough, the stepson.Chucky opens up about growing up with both a loving dad and a loving stepdad, and how their dynamic shaped him. He reflects on the unique balance between his mum, his dad and his stepdad, and how he never even realised he was in a blended family because it simply felt normal. He also shares the emotional impact of losing his stepdad and how the family navigated that grief together.The episode then turns to a listener dilemma. A mum is terrified that tension between her teenage son and her husband is escalating. Her son is taller now, more defiant, and when her husband raises his voice at her, her son steps in, chest puffed and ready to fight. She fears that if things ever turn physical, there will be no coming back from it.Together, Kate, Cilla and Chuckie discuss boundaries, communication, male ego, teenage triggers and the absolute line that cannot be crossed. They unpack what teenage boys are really reacting to, how past experiences can heighten protective instincts, and why protecting the relationship before it reaches breaking point is critical.An honest, emotional episode about loyalty, respect and what happens when power struggles threaten family stability.Follow @blended on Instagram to share your story. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Stepparenting isn’t always easy and sometimes admitting that feels like the hardest part.Kate Ferdinand is joined by Nathalie Holmes-Lewis and special guest co host, broadcaster and podcast host Zoe Hardman, for a raw and honest conversation about stepparenting, boundaries, and relationships that don’t always come naturally.Zoe shares her own experience of building a bond with her stepdaughter, before the panel tackles two listener dilemmas. In the first, a stepmum is at breaking point as her teenage stepdaughter repeatedly ignores house rules, inviting boys over, swearing and answering back, leaving her torn about whether she can stay in the relationship. In the second, a stepmum admits she dreads spending time with her stepdaughter altogether, and the ladies question whether her struggle is really about the child or unresolved tension with the child’s mum that may be affecting the relationship.They also discuss the pressure stepparents feel to get it right, the reality that you don’t always like your children or stepchildren and why step relationships can feel especially fragile when they can be lost at any moment.Don’t forget to rate and review, also we love hearing from you so follow @blended on Instagram to share your story. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Season 5 starts here and a lot has changed while we were away.After some time off, Kate Ferdinand returns with Nathalie and Cilla for a long overdue catch-up. This episode opens the new season with honesty and reflection, as the ladies share where life has taken them, both individually and as families.There have been big changes, difficult moments, and journeys none of them expected. Nathalie opens up about navigating a major health experience and finding her way through recovery, Kate reflects on a huge family move and what it’s really like being separated from loved ones, and Cilla shares how life has shifted after becoming a mum again following a challenging birth.It’s raw, emotional and reflective, a reminder of how quickly family life can change, and how much resilience it takes to keep going.Don’t forget rate and review, also we love hearing from you so follow @blended on Instagram to share your story. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this Christmas special of Blended, Kate Ferdinand is joined by Nathalie and Cilla as they come together for a festive catch-up, they’re excited to be back in the studio and keen to give listeners a special episode ahead of the new season next year.They dive into what is often the most complicated and emotionally time of year for blended families, tackling three festive dilemmas sent in by listeners. From an ex crossing the line during Christmas pick-ups, to the quiet pressure and comparison around money and gifts, to a woman struggling with the reality that her partner will be spending Christmas with his ex and children.Alongside the dilemmas, the ladies also talk about how they’ll be celebrating over the festive period themselves. Cilla confesses something she’s never actually done at Christmas before, Nathalie shares why she’s celebrates a little differently and Kate talks about who she’ll be spending Christmas with and how a busy life shapes those decisions.This episode is about boundaries, expectations and knowing when to protect your peace, even during the most emotional time of the year. The ladies don’t sugar-coat it, offering honesty, empathy and at times, tough love.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Blended, Kate Ferdinand is joined by Nathalie and Cilla to unpack a dilemma that challenges the unspoken expectations of blended families.A woman writes in about her relationship with a man who has children from a previous partner. When they first got together, he was happy to keep things separate, no pressure to step into a parenting role, and that suited her perfectly. But now, his family have started making comments, and he’s beginning to change his mind. Suddenly, the idea of becoming a stepmum feels less like a choice and more like an expectation.The panel really respect her honesty, she laid out her boundaries from the start but they question whether being with someone who has kids means you have to take on the stepparent role eventually. Cilla argues that while you might start off playing the aunty or the cool friend, that approach doesn’t work long-term especially if you live together. The aim, she says, should be to grow.Not everyone agrees. Kate and Nathalie discuss the emotional pressure women often face to "mother" in blended dynamics, and the fine line between respecting someone’s boundaries and avoiding the impact on the children involved. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.