Barnet Bain: How to Be a Friend - Part 2

Is it possible to thrive after losing it all? How could someone find peace after experiencing the loss of a child, the loss of a 40-year relationship, the loss of a career, the loss of their dream home, and more? Our guest today, best-selling author Iyanla Vanzant, shows that it IS possible. Today she shares her incredible story of loss, pain, and starting over. Her new book "Peace From the Broken Pieces: How to Get Through What You're Going Through" was written from her own painful experiences. Listen in as she helps us understand that once we drop the drama and the story, we are able to choose how to move powerfully toward peace. Iyanla is an empowerment specialist, Spiritual Life Counselor, and ordained minister. She is the founder and president of the Inner Visions Institute for Spiritual Development and regularly conducts personal growth classes and workshops for men and women worldwide. She has built the foundation for transformation after overcoming numerous hardships, which she considers learning experiences. She proves that it IS possible to thrive and shares her empowering lessons to the masses. Info: Innervisionsworldwide.com and Iyanla.com.

Would you like to have deeper connections with your friends? Lisa continues the conversation today with award-winning filmmaker Barnet Bain, who is known for beloved movies such as the Oscar-winning "What Dreams May Come." His latest book is "How to Be a Friend (In an Unfriendly World)" which was originally developed from a class he taught as part of Columbia University's master's course for psychologists. Barnet talks about how our friends are very much like gardens. You must water them and take care of them. If you do not make an effort with your friends, relationships can dissolve. The connection takes work, but it's important.  Whether good times or difficult times, it requires commitment to prioritize friends. Barnet explains a process to determine your priorities. If work becomes a priority, friendships may suffer, but there are ways to fix this. We all lead very busy lives, but he explains how to nurture friendships and not judge. Consistency is satisfying. Not everyone has to be a close friend. We can have friends from all walks of life.   Barnet also talks about values and commonalities among friends. He discusses ways to bond. Other generations, especially younger ones, develop bonds through social media. Friends can be made this way. Some friends stay in touch via text. That can be healthy and joyful! Even sending silly jokes can help friendships stay alive. He also talks about the importance of having deep conversations. It may be challenging, but we can learn to get out of our comfort zones so we can grow. This is Part 2 of the interview. Info: BarnetBain.com

August marks the 64th anniversary of Marilyn Monroe's death. Here we are, this many decades later, and the star is still considered one of the most popular icons in all of Hollywood history. Today's guest Nina Boski deeply explores the circumstances around the mystery of Marilyn's passing. By utilizing medical reports, and speaking with physicians and other experts, she's pieced together a fathomable understanding that addresses Marilyn's mental illness including anxiety and possibly bi-polar disorder. She also explains how Marilyn, a complex and deeply fragmented person, constantly under pressure, became a prisoner to the image of her character. Nina explores further in her podcast "Behind the Icon." Info: behindtheicon.com. 

Would you like to make more friends? Do you have friends, but feel like you'd like deeper connections? Today's guest is award-winning filmmaker Barnet Bain, who is known for beloved movies such as the Oscar-winning "What Dreams May Come." His latest book is "How to Be a Friend (In an Unfriendly World)" which was originally developed from a class he taught as part of Columbia University's master's course for psychologists. It grew out of real conversations about how we connect, listen, and stay kind, even when it's challenging. Barnet felt like he wasn't always being a good friend. He discovered as he was having dinner with his daughter, who was just back from college, that he was asking so many judgmental questions about how she was living her life. He always told himself that she could make her own choices, and he would love her unconditionally, but throughout the conversation, he realized that he had so many expectations of her. Who were her friends? What was she studying? Who was she spending time with? He recognized that this was not the person he wanted to be. He realized that no one ever taught us how to stay connected when things get awkward or bumpy. We learn how to be polite and nice to people as we are growing up, but we are not taught what to do if things get tough with friends, or if we are being judgmental toward them. What do you do if situations change? It is particularly challenging during these divisive times. What if you have different beliefs? We don't usually have the muscle to handle something that is too different from our values. So how do we be a good friend? How can we make our relationships stronger, even if we have disagreements? Barnet explains how we operate inside of our own bubbles. We get along with people who are in similar bubbles. He realized how uncomfortable it is to allow ourselves to be vulnerable to others, especially if we do not have the same values. We relate to those who are similar, but how do we expand? It takes practice, Barnet explains. It can be a discomfort, but a learning process. He talks about the difference between friendship and relationships. He shares how Cicero wrote an early book about friendship. He believed that friends help each other become better. Real friends have equal power and balance. Friends stand by you. Even if there are differences, you can still be with them. He also talks about the epidemic of loneliness, especially in the older generation who may not use social media as much. We still have not fully recovered since the isolation of Covid. Social media has taught us to have snippets of conversation. We are not taught how to make other people feel safe, which is a profound truth of friendship. These are vulnerable skills that require practice, and Barnet talks about the tools we can use. We can learn to honor where the person is coming from. We can hold back from our opinions and advice. We all want to jump in, but that sends a message that we are not listening. We can slow down and really hear what someone is saying. We can learn to be a good listener. This will deepen our friendships immensely. This is Part 1 of the interview. Info: BarnetBain.com

Would you like to better understand your patterns and feel more empowered?  Do you sometimes have a challenging time finding the positive in certain situations? Lisa continues the conversation today with researcher and best-selling author Ravinder Taylor. She has helped literally thousands of people change their state of mind and therefore empower their lives. Her latest book is "Mind Training: The Science of Self-Empowerment." Ravinder talks about the importance of choice. If bad things happen, it is not your fault. She asks us to ask, "What do you gain when you have a problem?" What is the difference between being informed and being prepared? How can you be aware of a problem or upcoming situation, yet not attract it? Ravinder has studied optimism and pessimism. Some people believe that doom-scrolling is about helping them feel more prepared. People have the "hope" that if they have information, they can be prepared so the worst-case won't happen. If someone looks for the negative, they will not have an enjoyable time and will feel stressed. Ravinder talks about statistics which show how much healthier people can be if they are more optimistic. What you expect, you observe. Your body will either fight or grow. Cortisol makes us feel stressed and can affect our hearts. She discusses actual techniques to increase optimism. We can be aware that some things will not work out, but if we are optimistic, we can grow and have a happier quality of life. Her "Mind Training" book talks all about the benefits of optimism and positive thinking. We can learn when things go wrong, and that means you have grown as a person. If your self-talk is positive, you cannot be depressed. Ravinder also talks about compassion and forgiveness. She talks about the prison system and studies about blame. We may need to separate ourselves from toxic people and toxic situations, but we can still offer forgiveness. She talks about the idea of "Forgiving the Unforgivable," and Free Will. We have choices and we can teach by example. This is Part 2 of the interview. Info: RavinderTaylor.com

Do you dream of visiting friends on the other side of the country or even the other side of the world?  Do you imagine all of the things you will do when you retire? Do you often think of a luxurious vacation or time just hanging out at the beach? If any of your sentences begin with the words "Someday I'm going to……" then this interview is for you.  Listen in as Lisa talks with author and communication expert Sam Horn about how to stop waiting and start initiating the life you want.  It's waiting there for you, behind the "someday." Sam is the "Intrigue Expert," a world-renowned author, speaker, communications strategist, and executive coach who has trained the world's top entrepreneurs and executives how to communicate more clearly, compellingly, and convincingly.  After a health scare a few years ago, she decided she needed to take back her life and her time. She was so busy, that she kept putting things off, assuming that she would always have time. She decided to address this right away and as an entrepreneur, she realized she could work from anywhere, so she decided to travel and work remotely. Her dream was to write and be by the water, so she did! She also talks about blending your passion with the way you make money. It's possible. She also suggests adding a lot more fun in your life, too! Her books include, "Take the Bully by the Horns," "Tongue Fu!®," "ConZentrate," "What's Holding You Back?" and "Got Your Attention?"  Info: www.samhorn.com.

Do you ever feel like you are going backwards and not reaching your goals? We've heard about various methods, but what happens when we really utilize the power of our mind to break through blocks to success in our lives? Our guest today is researcher and best-selling author Ravinder Taylor. She has helped thousands of people change their state of mind and therefore empower their lives. Her latest book is "Mind Training: The Science of Self-Empowerment." Ravinder talks about solid research which analyzed the importance of your state of mind, including a technique which improved cognitive abilities, reduced stress, and also made progress toward dementia. When she studied it further, she knew she could go deeper. What she wanted to do was take away the mystic around "self-help," and show how in a scientific manner that positive change could be proven. She studied various self-help techniques so that the reader could find methods that work for themselves. She was looking specifically at a 12-minute meditation, which had spiritual undertones. She talks about the Sikh tradition in which she was raised, although she turned away from organized religion. She further studied brainwave entrainment and how it works with meditation. She suggests bringing your own faith into your meditation, if that feels right for you. She talks about what beliefs mean and how certain ideas get into our mind. The subconscious beliefs are so powerful, but first she says we must understand where the beliefs originated. She talks about the divided mind that Freud explored which includes the Ego, the Id, and the Superego. She furthers talks about the idea of the 4 Selves and what they mean. Who do we believe we can be? It's not about perfection, it's about our personal successes. We can actualize them. Her training is about being the best you can be. She further looks at psycho-social development, starting as an infant. Each period of our life lets us learn different things. She outlines the stages and shares ways to correct behaviors toward empowerment through various exercises. We can look back at our own childhoods and see where patterns started. Ravinder discusses her research into the Law of Attraction – Ask, Believe, and Receive. She talks about insecurities, self-destructive behaviors, and the importance of choosing, rather than asking. This is Part 1 of the interview. Info: RavinderTaylor.com

How do you find peace within chaos? How do you find a point of stillness? Lisa continues the conversation today with globally recognized teacher and healer Master Mingtong Gu. He brings ancient wisdom to times of crisis through Qigong and other energy practices. Mingtong bridges ancient cultures with modern times and has established Wisdom Healing Qigong as a global movement. Today he talks deeply about Artificial Intelligence and how it can help us discover who we are as humans. We run a risk of the digital taking over, but we must first be aware of our bodies. We are facing a crisis. We must live through the truth of who we are. We can awaken and make our own choices. AI cannot experience human emotions. It is a neutral machine. No machines can replace our consciousness. He talks about how AI can help us discover ourselves. We can learn about our archetypes. It can give us more insight and help us understand why we are struggling. We are humans in our bodies. Until we embody this, we will be lost. AI can help us know ourselves. We must connect with life. We cannot be in fear of AI. This is all our choice.   Master Mingtong Gu has been awarded Qigong Master of the Year. He is founder of The Chi Center and Southwest Sanctuary for Embodied Wisdom. His most recent book is "Coming Home to Embodied Awakening." Master Mingtong Gu invites us to share in a very powerful meditation and Qigong experience during the first segment of the interview. This segment is Part 2. Info: mingtonggu.com

  Do you sometimes feel "not good enough"? Do you see images and body types online or on billboards and compare yourself? Our guest today, author and counselor Jan Denise, asks us to stop seeking rewards outside of ourselves and look inside instead. Jan will identify the ultimate fear that triggers empty pursuits and addiction, as well as all negative emotions that lead to low self-esteem. She offers answers to assist us to break through this negativity and show the innate goodness, or the love within, that you naturally are. Jan is a columnist, counselor, author, and speaker. She assists people in discovering their self-worth and growing their self-love. She conducts workshops and retreats all over the country, speaks professionally for business, charity, and wellness events, and serves on the faculty of the Omega Institute. She is the author of "Innately Good: Dispelling the Myth that You're Not." Info: innatelygood.com.

 Are you experiencing stress or even a personal crisis? With so much loss and trauma happening all over the world, how can we possibly get to a place of peace? Globally recognized teacher and healer Master Mingtong Gu is our guest today. He brings ancient wisdom to times of crisis through Qigong and other energy practices. He has been awarded Qigong Master of the Year. Master Mingtong Gu is founder of The Chi Center and Southwest Sanctuary for Embodied Wisdom. He bridges ancient cultures with modern times and has established Wisdom Healing Qigong as a global movement. His most recent book is "Coming Home to Embodied Awakening." Mingtong discusses the symptoms of suffering. According to Buddhist belief, the cause of all suffering is ignorance and attachment. There is a disconnection between our minds and our bodies. Mingtong shares a personal story about his teenagers who are "hijacked" by video games. They are disconnected from themselves. They are suffering, so they resort to digital realities. This is not just his situation, but it affects masses of people around the world. He talks about how we run away from discomfort. We run away from our realities. We want to bypass this reality. We have become walking ghosts. We spend so much time in our minds. Our mental world is hijacked by the digital world. So many people spend a tremendous amount of time on social media. We are not in touch with our bodies. Our bodies are what make us human. It is what connects us with nature. We are missing the connection to our body. This is where addiction comes from. Some do not know how to exist without numbing themselves with alcohol, drugs, social media, shopping, and so much more. Most people do not want to acknowledge the truth of suffering. He talks about how he discovered Qigong, not in China, but in Columbus, Ohio. He learned the soft, gentle movement practice and explains how it connects us to ourselves. We can feel complete in the moment. He also talks a medicine-less hospital in China which practices Qigong and energy work. Thousands of people have recovered from various conditions and ailments. He explains how Qigong can reconnect us. Master Mingtong Gu invites us to share in a very powerful meditation and Qigong experience during this segment of the interview. This is Part 1. Info: mingtonggu.com