Ep 256: Here Be Dragons: Motherhood, Mean Girls, and Generational Trauma (with Melanie Shankle)

This month marks 5 years still the Covid-19 pandemic turned our lives upside down.In this episode, I'm sharing 10 questions that can be used as journal prompts or conversation starters on the anniversary of any big event.I'm focusing my answers to these prompts on the five-year mark of the pandemic, but each question is crafted to be universal for any big event in your past.JOIN ME ON SUBSTACK for a JOURNAL PARTY on this topic with the members of Secret StuffI'll also be posting all of the prompts on social media and in the show notesFollow me on IG @laura.tremaineFULL SHOW NOTES HERERELATED EPISODES:10 Questions for Starting Over10 Questions To Ask Yourself in the Middle of Anything SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode!CLICK HERE for episode show notesFOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on InstagramFOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on FacebookSIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notesJOIN Laura Tremaine’s SECRET SUBSTACKBUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura TremaineBUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a very special episode of Best Books Lately. Special because it's been awhile since we've had one, special because it's with my longtime internet friend and book twin Liz Hein, and special because we're weaving together some of the most important themes of 10 Things To Tell You: sharing your stuff, connection, and, of course, BOOKS.In this conversation, Liz and I are not only talking about the best books we've read lately (and we've both read some great things!), Liz is also sharing about the life of her father, legendary Chicago photographer Rich Hein, who passed away unexpectedly last month. Liz's book selections are inspired by her dad, and I love that we could honor his memory in this way.Follow Liz Hein @lizisreading_ on InstagramRich Hein's obituary was on the front page of the Chicago Sun-TimesFULL SHOW NOTES HEREJoin the SECRET STUFF BOOK CLUBLAURA'S BOOKS:Beautyland by Marie Helene BertinoWitchcraft for Wayward Girls by Grady HendrixCue the Sun! by Emily NussbaumLiars by Sarah MangusoWe Used to Live Here by Marcus KliewerLIZ'S BOOKS:A Place for Us by Fatima Farheen MirzaHamnet by Maggie O'FarrellThe Remains of the Day by Kazuo IshiguroWild Dark Shore by Charlotte McConaghyThere's Always This Year by Hanif AbdurraqibALSO MENTIONED:Bob Dylan Goes Electric by Elijah WaldHow High We Go in the Dark by Sequoia NagamatsuHow to Sell a Haunted House by Grady HendrixThe Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires by Grady HendrixBy Any Other Name by Jodi PicoultThe Book of Two Ways by Jodi PicoultSmall Great Things by Jodi PicoultNever Let Me Go by Kazuo IshiguroAll Fours by Miranda JulyMigrations by Charlotte McConaghyOnce There Were Wolves by Charlotte McConaghyEPISODES MENTIONED:Ep. 250 Best Books of the Year 2024Ep. 252 Most Anticipated Books of 2025 with Traci Thomas of The Stacks podcastEp. 195 Why do smart people love dumb tv?Ep 239 Horror for Beginners with Meredith Monday Schwartz SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode!CLICK HERE for episode show notesFOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on InstagramFOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on FacebookSIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notesJOIN Laura Tremaine’s SECRET SUBSTACKBUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura TremaineBUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As the headlines get harder, the politics more divisive, and the platforms themselves more corrupt, many of us are rethinking our social media usage in 2025.Yeah, sure, we've all said this before in the past. So we take breaks, or delete the apps off our phones, but we always come crawling back. Social media is just an ingrained part of our lives now. It's where we get our news, it's how we connect with others, it's a source of entertainment and expression.And yet...there is something different about this moment in internet history. People really are fed up, but it also seems impossible to quit cold turkey. There has to be a middle ground between spending large chunks of our day scrolling and walking away from social media completely. In this episode I'm walking through my own personal process of changing my relationship with my phone.FULL SHOW NOTES HEREMENTIONED in this episode:Opal appRELATED episodes:Ep 253: Regrets and Reflections After 15 Years of Working on the InternetEp 246: A Funeral for TwitterEp 211: The Cell Phone Contract (A conversation with my kids) SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode!CLICK HERE for episode show notesFOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on InstagramFOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on FacebookSIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notesJOIN Laura Tremaine’s SECRET SUBSTACKBUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura TremaineBUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sometimes you read a friend's book and you're jealous they wrote something this good. This is how I felt when I read writer and podcast Melanie Shankle's latest Here Be Dragons: Treading the Deep Waters of Motherhood, Mean Girls, and Generational Trauma.This book is about Melanie's very complicated relationship with her mom, woven together with her own Big Feelings about the mean girls that took over her daughter's high school experience. As someone who regularly preaches that all of us should be sharing our stuff, my jaw dropped at some of the stories that Melanie is able to share so well.In this conversation, Melanie and I talk about all of those things. It's a tender topic, but Melanie is, as always, full of humor and wisdom in the face of it all.Follow Melanie Shankle on IGBuy Here Be Dragons: Treading the Deep Waters of Motherhood, Mean Girls, and Generational TraumaListen to The Big Boo CastFULL SHOW NOTES ARE HEREMENTIONED in this episode:The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman NeedsEp 243: Best Books Lately with Sophie Hudson SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode!CLICK HERE for episode show notesFOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on InstagramFOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on FacebookSIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notesJOIN Laura Tremaine’s SECRET SUBSTACKBUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura TremaineBUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Now THIS is truly a conversation you won't hear anywhere else. My friend, television show runner Stacy Rukeyser, joins me to talk about making R-rated art when you're a mom.Stacy has written on some really great shows over the years, but she was tasked with creating Netflix's first foray into erotica with her show Sex/Life back in 2021 and it brought up some questions about making this type of creative content when you're a mom. Stacy rightly points out that men likely wouldn't be asked (or be asking) the same type of questions, but it was a fascinating conversation to explore.Stacy shares her fascinating Hollywood career trajectory, the column that broke open a One Tree Hill scandal, and the differences working in female-led writer's rooms.This episode is a bit of a curve ball, but I think you'll be riveted.Follow Stacy Rukeyser on IGFULL SHOW NOTES HEREMENTIONED in this episode:Stacy's great grandfather Hall CaineThe Manx ManDinner for Vampires by Bethany Joy LenzUn-real on Netflix44 Chapters About 4 Men by BB EastonHollywood Reporter article about the One Tree Hill writer's roomRELATED Episodes:Ep 189: About the Hollywood Strikes (And how it affects you)Ep 195: Why do smart people watch dumb tv?Ep 216: Stop Deferring Your Life (A ONE THING conversation with Amy B. Harris)SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode!CLICK HERE for episode show notesFOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on InstagramFOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on FacebookSIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notesJOIN Laura Tremaine’s SECRET SUBSTACKBUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura TremaineBUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Continuing my look back on 15 years of working on the internet (and the last decade as working as a podcaster), I'm addressing a question that I've gotten fairly often recently: Any advice on starting a podcast?Based on my own mistakes working on three different shows, and observations about the podcast listening community and industry, in this episode I'm sharing what I would do if I started a new podcast today. While I speaking pretty specifically about podcasting in this episode, I also think that a lot of what I talk about applies to most creative endeavors on the internet in 2025.I'm talking about creativity, marketing, mindset, equipment, and more. And at the end I give a little pep talk that maybe we all need.FULL SHOW NOTES HEREMENTIONED in this episode:Audacity recording/editing softwareRiverside.fm software for remote recordingSingle microphone I used for years recording in personCurrent microphone I useRELATED episodes:Ep 124: Behind the Scenes of PodcastingEp 205: 10 Things All Podcast Fans Should KnowEp 253: Regrets and Reflections After 15 Years of Working On the Internet SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode!CLICK HERE for episode show notesFOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on InstagramFOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on FacebookSIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notesJOIN Laura Tremaine’s SECRET SUBSTACKBUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura TremaineBUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This month marks FIFTEEN years that I have been pursuing a career primarily by sharing myself on the internet. Starting with the Hollywood Housewife blog in January 2010, then building a social media presence, then becoming a podcaster and an author, and I have so many stories and thoughts to share about the last decade and a half.On this episode, I'm talking about the things I did right, the things I definitely got wrong, and how I've evolved right along with the World Wide Web.Join SECRET STUFF to hear even MORE behind-the-scenes stories.FULL SHOW NOTES HEREMORE episodes on this topic:Ep. 73: I Wrote a Book!Ep. 63: Working From HomeEp. 111: Behind The Scenes of Publishing, Marketing, and Launching a Book (with Kelly Gordon)Ep. 166: How To Write a Book (in 10 Steps)Ep. 174: 3 Things I've Learned While Working With a Business Coach (A Conversation with Retha Nichole)MENTIONED in this episode:Ep. 251: 10 Things I Learned in 2024Sorta Awesome podcastSmartest Person in the Room podcastRacial Bias series on SPITRShare Yo​​ur Stuff. I’ll Go First. by Laura TremaineThe Life Council by Laura Tremaine SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode!CLICK HERE for episode show notesFOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on InstagramFOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on FacebookSIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notesJOIN Laura Tremaine’s SECRET SUBSTACKBUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura TremaineBUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

No matter the question, reading is the answer. And in a year starting off like 2025 is, we certainly need a lot of answers to life's questions.I am thrilled to welcome fellow Angeleno bookworm Traci Thomas (host of The Stacks podcast) to talk about the most anticipated new book releases of 2025. We talk about novels and nonfiction by debut and beloved authors publishing this year and sorry not sorry about this conversation that will send your book budget soaring. There are so many good books to look forward to in the next six months.Also in this episode, Traci really gives me a lot to think about in terms of how we talk about books and why it's okay to be publicly critical of books that don't work for us. As an author who is jumpy about that concept, Traci really shifted my perspective on this.You can listen to Traci on The Stacks podcastYou can follow Traci on IGYou can read Traci on her substack UnstackedYou can join Traci's PatreonFULL SHOW NOTES HEREJOIN THE SECRET STUFF BOOK CLUBMOST ANTICIPATED 2025 BOOKS:January Books:Black in Blues: How a Color Tells the Story of My People by Imani PerryWitchcraft for Wayward Girls by Grady HendrixFebruary Books:Pure Innocent Fun: Essays by Ira Madison IIIShow Don’t Tell by Curtis SittenfeldDeath Takes Me by Cristina Rivera GarzaOne Day, Everyone Will Have Always Been Against This by Omar El AkkadMarch Books:Hot Air by Marcy DermanskyI'll Love You Forever: Notes from a K-Pop Fan by Giaae KwonThere is No Place for Us: Working and Homeless in America by Brian GoldstoneApril Books:Dear Writer: Pep Talks & Practical Advice for the Creative Life by Maggie SmithThe Book of Alchemy: A Creative Practice for an Inspired Life by Suleika JaouadAuthority: Essays by Andrea Long ChuMay Books:Love and Exile by Shon FayeThe Last Supper: Art, Faith, Sex, and Controversy in the 1980s by Paul ElieJune Books:Atmosphere by Taylor Jenkins ReidWeepers by Peter MendelsunALSO MENTIONED in this episode:Sara Hildreth of Fiction MattersEpisode 122 of The Stacks Podcast with Kiese Laymon, Breathe by Imani Perry Book ClubEpisode 222: Stephen King Starter Kit Part IIThe Keep It PodcastRead Traci's Most Anticipated List of 2025 with a different set of books than she talks about hereSuleika Jaouad’s Substack, The Isolation JournalsMORE BOOKS mentioned in this episode:Blood in the Water by Heather Ann Thompson South to America by Imani PerryVexy Thing: On Gender and Liberation by Imani PerryMay We Forever Stand: A History of the Black National Anthem by Imani PerryBreathe: A Letter to My Sons by Imani PerryBetween the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi CoatesLooking for Lorraine by Imani PerryThe Southern Book Club’s Guide to Slaying Vampires by Grady HendrixHow to Sell a Haunted House by Grady HendrixRomantic Comedy by Curtis SittenfeldAmerican Wife by Curtis SittenfeldYou Like It Darker by Stephen KingLiliana’s Invincible Summer by Cristina Rivera GarzaAmerican War by Omar El AkkadEvicted by Matthew DesmondReagan: His Life and Legend by Max BootYou Can Make This Place Beautiful by Maggie Smith Between Two Kingdoms by Suleika JaouadThe Book of Alchemy: A Creative Practice for an Inspired Life by Suleika JaouadBeloved by Toni MorrisonThe Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode!CLICK HERE for episode show notesFOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on InstagramFOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on FacebookSIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notesJOIN Laura Tremaine’s SECRET SUBSTACKBUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura TremaineBUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It may already be January, but it's time for my annual year-end reflection with 10 of the biggest things I learned that I hope will also resonate with you.2024 was a weird year in so many ways. My lessons were all over the place, from examining self-confidence vs. self-esteem, finding out who I am in a crisis, being honest about what home renovations can bring up emotionally, facing my addiction to the news cycle, and discovering the big thing that motivates our family decisions.It was a year full of light bulb moments. I hope this helps you reflect upon your own lessons, struggles, and triumphs of the last year.JOIN THE SECRET STUFF BOOK CLUB HEREFULL SHOW NOTES ARE HEREMENTIONED in this episode:Ep 201: 10 Things I Learned in 2023Ep 238: The Conversation That Changed My YearEp 246: A Funeral for TwitterThe neck alignment thing that really works SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode!CLICK HERE for episode show notesFOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on InstagramFOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on FacebookSIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notesJOIN Laura Tremaine’s SECRET SUBSTACKBUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura TremaineBUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the reading episode we look forward to all year! My real life book club members Yasmin Dunn and Stephanie Newman-Smith join me for a supersized conversation about the best books we read in 2024.JOIN THE SECRET STUFF BOOK CLUBSince Stephanie, Yasmin, and I did a half-year Best Books episode together during the summer, we only gloss over a few of the books we discussed in depth in June. You can see the show notes from Ep 224: Best Books of the Year (So Far).Also an EXTENDED CUT of this episode and the BONUS episode where the three of us share books that didn't work for us this year (including a big surprise from me) is available for paid members SECRET STUFF (now on Substack!)FULL SHOW NOTES HEREFollow me @laura.tremaine on IGFollow Yasmin @yasminheartsbooks on IG(Stephanie doesn't post books on IG)MENTIONED in this episode:Yasmin’s Best Books:Ours by Phillip B. WilliamsThe Wedding People by Alison Espach Guilty Creatures: Sex, God, and Murder in Tallahassee by Mikita Brottman Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship by Terrence RealStephanie’s Best Books:This Motherless Land by Nikki MayReal Americans by Rachel KhongBlue Sisters by Coco MellorsLaura’s Best Books:Dinner for Vampires by Bethany Joy LenzHere One Moment by Liane MoriartyRebecca by Daphne du MaurierLink to Patreon episode about the Bee Sting - (Available for $3!)ALSO MENTIONED:Yasmin’s Best Books (So Far) in the June Episode:You Like It Darker by Stephen KingJames by Percival EverettKnife: Meditations After an Attempted Murder by Salman RushdieStephanie’s Best Books (so far) in the June Episode:Long Island by Colm TóibínNeighbors and Other Stories by Diane OliverSlow Horses by Mick HerronLaura’s Best Books (so far) in the June Episode:The Bee Sting by Paul MurrayThe Book of Love by Kelly LinkHow to Walk Into a Room by Emily P. FreemanThe Way of Integrity by Martha BeckHolly by Stephen KingRita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption by Stephen KingSecret Windows by Stephen KingThe Body by Stephen KingThe Stand by Stephen KingMansfield Park by Jane AustenYou Can Make This Place Beautiful by Maggie SmithSociopath: A Memoir by Patric Gagne, Ph.D.All Fours by Miranda JulyThe Life Impossible by Matt HaigShare Your Stuff, I’ll Go First. by Laura TremaineApples Never Fall by Liane MoriartyThe Immortalists by Chloe BenjaminBig Little Lies by Liane MoriartyWhat Alice Forgot by Liane MoriartyNine Perfect Strangers by Liane MoriartyA Year to Live by Stephen LevineHello Beautiful by Ann NapolitanoWithin Arm’s Reach by Ann Napolitano Martyr! By Kaveh AkbarListen for the Lie by Amy TinteraCouple Found Slain by Mikita BrottmanNPR Best Books of the Year listNYT 10 Best Books of the Year listNYT Best Books of the 21st CenturyEp. 243 Best Books Lately (with Sophie Hudson)More Episodes with Yasmin and Stephanie:Ep. 46: Book Club 2019Ep. 90: Book Club’s Best Books of the Year 2020Ep. 147: Best Books of the Year 2021Ep. 153: Best Books of the Year 2022Ep. 179: Best Books of 2023 (So Far)Ep. 199: Best Books of the Year 2023Ep. 224: Best Books of the Year (So Far) SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode!CLICK HERE for episode show notesFOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on InstagramFOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on FacebookSIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notesJOIN Laura Tremaine’s SECRET SUBSTACKBUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura TremaineBUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.