Forgiveness Is a Gift to Yourself
《原谅,是给自己的礼物》“Forgiveness Is a Gift to Yourself”Forgiveness doesn’t change the past, but it frees the future.“原谅不能改变过去,但能让未来自由。”Growing up, this memory was undeniably the most painful chapter of my life, and it deeply shaped the person I am today.在我成长的过程中,这段记忆无疑是最痛苦的,也深深塑造了今日的我。⸻2In junior high, I was an outstanding student, almost always ranking first in the entire school. Yet, I didn’t get into my dream school—Kaohsiung Girls’ Senior High. I eventually chose Fengshan High School and passed the exam to enter the gifted English program.国中时,我的成绩优异,几乎总是全校第一。然而,我却未能如愿考上第一志愿——高雄女中。最终,我选择了凤山高中,并通过考试进入英语资优班。⸻3Those days were wonderful. Each of my classmates had their own unique personality, and the cheerful atmosphere helped me open up in ways I rarely had before. I finally had more time to study the English I loved, and we had a humorous, open-minded homeroom teacher—Gilian.那段日子是如此美好,班上的同学各具特色,乐观开朗的氛围也让我开始展现自己较少流露的一面。我能花更多时间学习最热爱的英语,还有一位幽默开明的班导师——Lilian。⸻4She cared deeply for us. She even invited the whole class to her wedding and organized a trip from Kaohsiung to Taipei to visit universities—an experience that broadened my world.她不仅用心指导我们,还带全班参加她的婚礼,甚至组织我们从高雄到台北的大学参观,开拓视野。⸻5In that class, I became inseparable friends with Jenny. She was lively and outgoing—the center of attention—while I was more introverted, yet I tried my best to be close to her, learning confidence through her.在这个班级里,我和佳欣成了无话不谈的好友。她个性活泼开朗,是班上的焦点人物,而我则较为内向,但仍努力靠近她,试着学习她的自信与魅力。⸻6Through her, I met Zack, the class president next door. Tall and delicate-looking, he stood out instantly—and he was the boy Jia-Xin had a crush on.也因为她,我认识了隔壁班的班长——宇哲。他高挑清秀,第一眼就能吸引目光,也是佳欣暗恋的对象。⸻7As time passed, I came to learn about his life. His mother had passed away when he was young, leaving his father to raise him and his sister alone.随着相处时间增长,我也逐渐了解了宇哲的故事。他的母亲在他小时候便过世了,父亲独自抚养他和妹妹。⸻8Despite his hardships, he remained disciplined and hardworking, always ranking near the top. I admired him deeply, and we gradually became friends who shared everything.尽管如此,他仍然自律勤奋,成绩名列前茅,从未让家人担心。我对这样坚强的他充满敬佩,也渐渐与他成了无话不谈的朋友。⸻9Coincidentally, our birthdays were only eleven days apart. On his birthday, Jenny and I celebrated with him. For mine, I didn’t expect much, yet he still gave me a gift—a baseball cap, unwrapped, placed on the floor outside my classroom.巧合的是,我们的生日同在同一个月份,仅相差11天。宇哲生日那天,我和佳欣特地为他庆祝。而当我的生日到来时,他给了我一顶没有包装、放在教室门口地上的棒球帽。⸻10I didn’t think much of it at the time—boys weren’t always thoughtful. But a few days later, he posted an article on the school’s online forum, calling me “vain,” even claiming that no one in class liked me.当时我不以为意,心想男孩总是不如女孩细心,却没想到,几天后,他竟在学校的电子论坛上发文,指名道姓地说我“爱慕虚荣”,还写道班上的同学都不喜欢我。⸻11As my eyes moved across those cold, merciless words, my heartbeat grew heavy. I couldn’t believe that in the eyes of someone I trusted, I had become that kind of person.当我滑动滑鼠,视线落在那些冰冷而残忍的字眼上,心跳逐渐加快。我无法相信,在我所重视的同学眼中,我竟成了这样的人。⸻12The hurt and humiliation swallowed me whole.那一刻,委屈与羞辱交织,将我吞没。⸻13I spiraled into self-doubt. Every day after school, I would hide in the bathroom and cry under the sound of running water.从那天起,我陷入深深的自我怀疑,每天郁郁寡欢。回家后,我的固定行程变成了躲进浴室,在水流的掩护下哭泣。⸻14This lasted until one day, our teacher said in class, “If anyone feels uncomfortable here, you may apply to transfer.”这样的日子持续了许久,直到某天,Lilian老师在课堂上说:“如果有同学觉得不适应,可以申请转班。”⸻15It was like seeing an escape route from my pain.那一刻,我仿佛看见了逃离痛苦的出口。⸻16I immediately called my father. I expected him to question me or persuade me to stay, but he simply said, “As long as you’re happy.”下课后,我立刻拨电话给爸爸,本以为他会细问原因或劝我留下,然而他只是平静地说:“只要妳开心就好。”⸻17The next day, I submitted the transfer form, closing that chapter of darkness.隔天,我便递交了转班申请,正式为这段阴影画上句点。⸻18This was not the first time I had experienced social hurt growing up. I was ignored by friends in elementary school, again in junior high—psychological wounds I didn’t recognize as “bullying” until later.这次的事件并非我在求学阶段首次遭遇的人际挑战。小学和国中,我都曾被要好的同学突然当成空气,这些心理创伤直到多年后才被我意识到其实也是一种“霸凌”。⸻19From these experiences, I learned one thing: “The best revenge is becoming a better version of yourself.”那时的我感到无助,也深深受伤,但我学到了一个重要的道理——“最好的复仇方式,就是活出更好的自己。”⸻20So when this happened again, I chose growth. I devoured books on personal development—especially Dale Carnegie’sHow to Win Friends and Influence People.因此,当这次的事情发生时,我选择成长。我开始阅读大量心理成长类书籍,其中卡内基的《如何赢得友谊与影响他人》对我影响最深。