Why Do We Love Looking Back?

What should parents know if they're considering divorce? Margaret talks with family law attorneys Kristen Holstrom and Samantha McBride—the hosts of the "Custody Queens" podcast—about custody disputes, co-parenting conflict, child support, digital footprints, and the biggest mistakes people make during separation. Drawing from years of experience in high-conflict custody and divorce cases, Kristen and Samantha explain how family court actually works, why “amicable” divorces can still require strong boundaries, and how parents can protect themselves and their children emotionally, financially, and legally. The conversation covers: Why every custody case is unique—and why Facebook advice can backfire The difference between staying amicable and giving up your rights How courts evaluate custody arrangements and parenting concerns Child support myths, enforcement, and financial responsibility The long-term consequences of social media posts, texts, and digital evidence Why courts care more about safety concerns than personal betrayal Co-parenting with a difficult ex or a new romantic partner in the picture How therapy, documentation, and realistic expectations can reduce conflict Here's where you can find Samantha and Kristen: https://custodyqueens.com/ @custodyqueens and @custodyqueensonair on IG @custodyqueens on TikTok @custodyqueenson-air on YT Listen to "Custody Queens" wherever you listen to podcasts Custody Queens Off the Clock, Kristen and Sam's true crime pod What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sign up for WFH Plus at ⁠http://whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm/! How does the powerful emotional pull of nostalgia connect to that midlife feeling of "how did I get here?" Why do we love looking back? In this episode, we discuss: Why nostalgia increases during periods of transition and uncertainty (aging parents, growing children, career reckonings) The psychology and science behind nostalgia and memory Why parents often romanticize the baby and toddler years How nostalgia can deepen meaning, connection, and self-understanding Healthy ways to honor memories without getting stuck in the past Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: University of Florida Medical Physiology Online: The Psychology of Nostalgia Emily Reynolds for The British Psychological Society: We feel more nostalgic as we get older Clay Routledge for the Institute for Family Studies: Nostalgia Reveals the Importance of Family and Close Relationships Joe Keohane for the Boston Globe: Why Does Parenthood Make Us Nostalgic? Hannah Seligson for the NYT: Being a Mother Is Hard Work. Is It Actually Harder on Millennial Moms? "The House That Built Me" by Miranda Lambert What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This Deep Dive series revisits some of our past episodes on discerning what we need as moms, and then asking for it confidently. If someone asked you "What do you need right now?" would you even be able to articulate it? In her new book ⁠NEEDY: How To Advocate for Your Needs and Claim Your Sovereignty⁠, intuitive coach ⁠Mara Glatzel⁠ lays out a roadmap for how to ascertain our needs as human beings, how to ask for it, and how to be comfortable with receiving it. Mara's work helps humans stop abandoning themselves and start reclaiming their humanity through embracing their needs and honoring their natural energy rhythms. In this episode, Mara and Amy discuss: The societal pressure to be perfect and need-free as mothers The difference between a "want" and a "need" and how they intersect Why it's uncomfortable both to ask for what we need and to finally receive it Mara argues that the more in tune we are with our own needs, the more we are able to peacefully coexist with others and form authentic relationships. Here's where you can find Mara: ⁠https://www.maraglatzel.com/⁠ on her own podcast, ⁠"Needy."⁠ ⁠Here is the link⁠ to Mara's free quiz to help you identify what you need and receive all of her best resources and supportive micro-practices.  Buy Mara's book: ⁠https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781683649847⁠ @maraglatzel on IG We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We often think "ambivalence" means indifference. Its actual meaning is quite different: ambivalence means having multiple and often opposite emotions in one moment. Motherhood contains much joy—but what about the resentment, grief, anger, fear, exhaustion, and guilt that can exist alongside deep love? Psychotherapist and researcher Dr. Margo Lowy joins us to discuss her book MATERNAL AMBIVALENCE: The Loving Moments and Bitter Truths of Motherhood and the emotional contradictions at the heart of parenting. Dr. Lowy explains why naming difficult emotions can actually strengthen our relationships with our children at all stages of our parenting, from postpartum anxiety to learning to let our children go. We discuss: Why the pressures of perfectionism are so damaging for mothers The taboo around negative parenting emotions How self-awareness and emotional honesty can improve parent-child relationships Here's where you can find Margo: https://drmargolowy.com/ @drmargolowy on IG Buy MATERNAL AMBIVALENCE: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9798888455999 What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why does it seem so much easier for men to claim large blocks of leisure time for themselves than it is for women? This week, based on a listener question, we are asking: What is the mom equivalent of golf? We unpack the “leisure time gender gap,” why women’s downtime is often treated as optional, and how motherhood changes the way we think about rest, hobbies, and friendship. We discuss: Why golf has become a uniquely protected, and male-coded, form of leisure How parenting young children turns leisure into a zero-sum game Practical ideas from listeners for creating more intentional leisure time which includes connection with friends Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Katie Garrity for Scary Mommy: ⁠⁠Is There A Women's Hobby Equivalent To Men's Golfing Habits?⁠⁠ Bruce Drake for Pew Research Center: ⁠⁠Another Gender Gap: Men Spend More Time in Leisure Activities⁠⁠ Carolina Aragão for Pew Research Center: ⁠⁠Working husbands in U.S. have more leisure time than working wives do, especially among those with children⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Check out the whole thread of excellent ideas in our Facebook group! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This Deep Dive series revisits some of our past episodes on discerning what we need as moms, and then asking for it confidently. We’ve all been in moments when we have to make a Big Ask. As in: it’s 2 a.m. The baby is throwing up and spiking a high fever. Your partner is out of town. Your other kid is asleep upstairs. Who are you going to call in the middle of the night? Making that ask is never easy. But why? Why is it so hard to ask for big help, especially when we’re usually grateful to be able to assist a friend in need? Anyone who’s been a parent long enough has been on both the giving and receiving side of that Big Help ask. And when we’re on the receiving end of that kind of request, from a friend we know is struggling, we’re usually really happy– even grateful– to be able to help.  So how can we become “askable friends” and better helpers? And how can we prepare for the big help times in our own lives before they arrive?  In this episode, we discuss the reasons why asking for help can be so hard, especially for mothers when asking for big help is “justified” (and making asking for small help okay) acute needs vs. chronic needs how to really help a struggling friend, rather than saying “let me know if you need anything” some useful ways to help a friend grieving a loss and how we can make that short list of friends, and offer to BE on that short list of friends, before the time comes. In the end, asking for big help is about showing up for ourselves. Here’s how our listener Jennifer put it:  “I can ask for help, even if I can technically handle it, but I just want, or need a break. I don't need to drive myself to the edge of the cliff before I ask.” Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:  ⁠Mayday: Asking For Help In Times Of Need⁠, by Nora Bouchard ⁠lotsahelpinghands.com⁠ (@lotsahelpinghands on Twitter) ⁠Enjoli fragrance commercial ⁠ What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why do we avoid small opportunities for connection with strangers, even when humans are wired for that very connection? Behavioral scientist Nicholas Epley, author of the new book A LITTLE MORE SOCIAL, explains why modern life leaves so many people feeling disconnected—and how small social choices can dramatically improve our well-being. Nick explains the science behind loneliness, why humans are biologically wired for connection, and how our fear of awkwardness keeps us from reaching out to others. From conversations with strangers on the subway to helping kids build social confidence, this episode explores how meaningful relationships are created through everyday interactions. The conversation covers: Why people underestimate how much others want connection too How smartphones, remote work, and modern convenience reduce social interaction Why talking to strangers often goes better than we expect The importance of modeling curiosity and openness for children Why meaningful conversations matter more than surface-level similarities How to become “a little more social” through small daily habits Here's where you can find Nick: www.nicholasepley.com Buy A LITTLE MORE SOCIAL: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593319543 What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week we're talking about how modern teen "dating" has changed—starting with the word itself (it's called "talking" or "hanging out" these days), where today's teens are meeting romantic partners, and how they tend to communicate. We also explain how and why conversations about boundaries, consent, self-worth, and emotional safety should begin earlier than you might think. We also discuss: Why today’s teens are dating later but navigating more online pressure How to encourage to kids maintain other friendships while dating What to do when you dislike your child’s romantic partner Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Emily Baumgaertner Nunn for the NYT: A Predictor of a Good Social Life? Your Parents. Children's Hospital of Richmond at VCU blog: Is your teen ready to date? 6 things to think about Rachel Ehmke for Child Mind Institute: Teens and Romantic Relationships Check out our Fresh Take with Ash Brandin, the Gamer Educator, who has great tips on keeping kids safe online! What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This Deep Dive series revisits some of our past episodes on discerning what we need as moms, and then asking for it confidently. Most of us know about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, the pyramid pattern through which human needs and motivations generally move upward. We can't worry about what's at the upper levels of the pyramid until and unless the more basic needs at the bottom of the pyramid– food, warmth, safety– are met first. Leslie Forde, founder of ⁠Mom’s Hierarchy of Needs⁠, has rethought that pyramid for the way we live our lives as mothers. There's a reason there's not enough bandwidth in our lives for fun and connection and self-actualization. Mom’s Hierarchy of Needs provides moms with products, research and community to reclaim time from their never-done to-do lists. In this episode, Leslie explains: Why mom's hierarchy of needs is a little different than Maslow's When and why your hierarchy of needs might shift How to prioritize your career, healthy relationships, and self-care in your own hierarchy Leslie says that it's important to realize your health and wellbeing is equal in importance to your children's health and wellbeing, and once you internalize that, you can start to make room for your own needs without feeling guilty or frivolous. Here's where you can find Leslie: Facebook: @MOMSHIERARCHYOFNEEDS Twitter: @MOMSHIERARCHY IG: @MOMSHIERARCHYOF_NEEDS ⁠Leslie's TimeCheck app⁠ ⁠https://momshierarchyofneeds.com/⁠ Our episode ⁠"Isn't This Supposed to Be More Fun?"⁠ Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month, you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events. What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is social media a good thing for isolated mothers? Or does it just give us more to worry about? Margaret talks with Rachael Shepard-Ohta and Caitlin Wilder, hosts of the podcast You’re So Right, about parenting in the age of Instagram, postpartum mental health, identity outside motherhood, and why parenting advice can feel both helpful and impossible at the same time. Rachael, a former special education teacher and infant parent mental health specialist, and Caitlin, a full spectrum doula and former Bravo producer, explain how they built their podcast as a space for moms to feel less alone. They discuss: Why modern motherhood feels so performative online The pressure to either “love every moment” or be a “hot mess mom” Why nuance in motherhood conversations matters Here's where you can find Rachael and Caitlin: Listen to "You're So Right" wherever you get your podcasts @youresorightpod, @heysleepybaby, and @wilderbeginnings on IG What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices