#113: Hot Mess Express

Dave talks about a 'dick detector' his childhood friend found, pornbot names, red/green flags, the latest crazy headlines, and pretending to be Danny Glover on Yahoo Answers   Sponsor: Green Chef - greenchef.com/60valleyboys  and use code 60valleyboys to get 60% off, plus 20% off your next two months

Dave talks about the lack of a War on Christmas this year, Starbucks drinks testing his waistline, pro athlete salaries being justified, and some truly crazy headlines from the last week   Sponsor: Factormeals.com/valleyboys50 and use code valleyboys50 to get 50% off

Dave talks about Twin Flames and the dumpster fire types of people to get involved in that, Blackberrys, recent crazy headlines,  and how religions with sex rules are sex cults. 

Dave declares he's already over Christmas, talks about the ineffectiveness of voicemail, horror movie nudity, Boxing Day vs. Black Friday, the gong show of his first job, and the Rife rage

Dave discusses Black Friday, how a French Bulldog ruined Thanksgiving and not him, the creepy older guy in small towns that hang around teenagers, and people pooping in line at Disneyland (yes really)

Dave talks about karate dorks, the Punk in the Park Festival, etiquette for falling down, unfortunate nicknames, and if cereal box prizes came with trashy liquor

Dave speculates on the superior being; the Sega Kid or the Super Nintendo Kid. Also talks about Bill Burr's movie Old Dads, 23andMe letdowns for white people, and first-time unsupervised internet access.   Sponsors: Factormeals.com/valleyboys50 and use code valleyboys50 to get 50% off PrettyLitter.com/VALLEYBOYS and use code VALLEYBOYS to save 20% on your first order.

Dave describes his recent disastrous trip to San Diego, naked people urinating on subway trains, and a police officer who was recognized by one of her OnlyFans subscribers during a traffic stop   Sponsor: Hellofresh.com/50VALLEYBOYS and use code 50VALLEYBOYS for 50% off plus free shipping 

Dave talks about OJ Simpson avoiding LA (and reflective surfaces) as to not meet 'who did it', GoPuff delivering 'adult toys', and getting caught vandalizing his own desk with disparaging remarks about his teacher   Sponsors:  HelloFresh.com/50valleyboys and use code 50valleyboys for 50% off plus free shipping! PrettyLitter.com/VALLEYBOYS and use code VALLEYBOYS to save 20%  on your first order.

Dave speculates the scene if Taylor Swift did the 'Tomahawk' at the Kansas City Chiefs game, if sports teams had 'insensitive' team names about western culture, when drinking in the morning is socially acceptable, and pre-planned excuses for dates.   Sponsor: Factormeals.com/valleyboys50 and use code valleyboys50 to get 50% off tryfum.com  and use code VALLEYBOYS to save an additional 10% off your order