456. Better Boundaries & Instant Obligation Syndrome

Ever notice how when someone asks you for something, you immediately feel like you should say yes? Whether it's a colleague wanting to pick your brain over coffee or your kid's school asking you to bake for the school fundraiser, there's this instant weight that settles on your shoulders. In this episode, I'm naming something that hasn't been talked about before but affects almost everyone socialized as a woman: Instant Obligation Syndrome.  I'll explain why this happens, how it's rooted in the socialization that teaches women their purpose is to serve others, and why you feel like you need a "good reason" to say no. Most importantly, I'll show you why this pattern is costing you far more than you realize.  Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/456 Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Are You Ready to Live A Confident Life?Join me for my brand new program, A Confident Life, January 12 – December 8, 2026. Over the course of a year working with me and other smart dynamic women, you will learn how to deploy the four skills of confidence to create any outcome you want in your life. Click here to learn more and sign up for A Confident Life!

Why is it so easy to doubt ourselves, even when we’ve already proven we’re capable? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener's question about feeling unqualified despite a successful career. She’s struggling with thoughts that her associate's degree makes her less than others in her field, even though her work experience speaks for itself. The second question is about how to manage the flood of self-doubt that comes up when pursuing big goals. A coach is working on expanding her business, but finds herself stuck in a cycle of procrastination and negative thoughts. If you’ve ever felt like your thoughts were holding you back, this episode will help you move through them and take consistent action toward your goals. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/455Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Are You Ready to Live A Confident Life?Join me for my brand new program, A Confident Life, January 12 – December 8, 2026. Over the course of a year working with me and other smart dynamic women, you will learn how to deploy the four skills of confidence to create any outcome you want in your life. Click here to learn more and sign up for A Confident Life!

Confidence isn’t a magic spell, and it’s not something you’re born with.Over the course of one year working with me and other smart dynamic women, you will learn how to deploy the four skills of confidence – self-knowledge, self-compassion, self-belief and self-actualization – to create any outcome you want in your life.From the incredibly concrete (get promoted to VP) to the most ineffable (love myself more), these four skills will get you where you want to go.Join me for A Confident Life, January 12 – December 8, 2026.Click here to grab your spot or learn more: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/lifeMentioned in this episode:Are You Ready to Live A Confident Life?Join me for my brand new program, A Confident Life, January 12 – December 8, 2026. Over the course of a year working with me and other smart dynamic women, you will learn how to deploy the four skills of confidence to create any outcome you want in your life. Click here to learn more and sign up for A Confident Life!

Ever feel like you’re "too much" for others? Like when someone tells you you're too sensitive, too needy, or taking things too seriously?In this episode, I explore why the fear of being "too much" is so common among women and how it limits us from living fully. You'll discover why this vague but powerful fear gets weaponized against women and marginalized communities, and how to start rewiring your brain around it.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/454Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Are You Ready to Live A Confident Life?Join me for my brand new program, A Confident Life, January 12 – December 8, 2026. Over the course of a year working with me and other smart dynamic women, you will learn how to deploy the four skills of confidence to create any outcome you want in your life. Click here to learn more and sign up for A Confident Life!

Do you ever find yourself paralyzed by the fear of making a mistake at work, no matter how small? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I’m answering two listener questions that dive into how we handle fear, stress, and the pressure to be perfect.The first question is from someone working in a high-stakes field, terrified of making mistakes and facing professional consequences. The second question is about dealing with stress-induced habits like overeating or drinking, and the guilt that follows. I show you why you can’t solve the problem by just focusing on behavior... it’s your thoughts and emotions that need attention.Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotlineGet full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/453Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Are You Ready to Live A Confident Life?Join me for my brand new program, A Confident Life, January 12 – December 8, 2026. Over the course of a year working with me and other smart dynamic women, you will learn how to deploy the four skills of confidence to create any outcome you want in your life. Click here to learn more and sign up for A Confident Life!

I’m hosting a free training to help you plan your dreams for 2026 and to teach you about the four skills you need to be confident you can reach any goal. I’ll also be sharing about our signature coaching program, A Confident Life which closes just a few days after this training. This call is happening on January 5th at 12pm Eastern. You’ll walk away with a clear goal for each of the six core areas of your life, and a road map to the skills you need to build, strengthen, or deploy to achieve them. Click here to sign up for your Dream Life Planning Call: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/dreamlifecallsMentioned in this episode:Let's Plan Your Most Audacious Goals for 2026!I’m hosting a free training to help you plan your dreams for 2026 and to teach you about the four skills you need to be confident you can reach any goal. This call will be happening on two dates: December 30th at 12pm Eastern January 5th at 12pm Eastern You’ll walk away with a clear goal for each of the six core areas of your life, and a road map to the skills you need to build, strengthen, or deploy to achieve them. Join us live for Your Dream 2026 Planning Call here

I’m hosting a free training to help you plan your dreams for 2026 and to teach you about the four skills you need to be confident you can reach any goal. I’ll also be sharing about our signature coaching program, A Confident Life which closes just a few days after this training. There are two date options you can choose from for this call:December 30th at 12pm EasternJanuary 5th at 12pm Eastern You’ll walk away with a clear goal for each of the six core areas of your life, and a road map to the skills you need to build, strengthen, or deploy to achieve them. Click here to sign up for your Dream Life Planning Call: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/dreamlifecalls

Why is it so hard to make a decision? So many of us get stuck in a cycle of overthinking, second-guessing, or waiting for external validation before we can make a choice. So in this episode, I’m sharing why women often struggle with decisiveness and how our socialization shapes the way we approach decision-making and risk. You’ll learn why embracing decisiveness is crucial for creating the life you want and get practical tips for using self-coaching to make confident, purposeful decisions that align with your goals. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/452 Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Are You Ready to Live A Confident Life?Join me for my brand new program, A Confident Life, January 12 – December 8, 2026. Over the course of a year working with me and other smart dynamic women, you will learn how to deploy the four skills of confidence to create any outcome you want in your life. Click here to learn more and sign up for A Confident Life!

In this Coaching Hotline episode, I’m answering two listener questions that are all too familiar if you’ve ever gotten sucked into social media comparison or felt like you’re constantly navigating emotional landmines with family. The first is about how to stop feeling awful about yourself every time you scroll through Instagram, comparing yourself to others or feeling like you’re not doing enough. The second question is about dealing with a family member who’s set boundaries that leave you feeling rejected. This episode will teach you how to separate your feelings from someone else’s behavior, take full responsibility for your emotional life, and stop outsourcing your worth to others. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/451Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Are You Ready to Live A Confident Life?Join me for my brand new program, A Confident Life, January 12 – December 8, 2026. Over the course of a year working with me and other smart dynamic women, you will learn how to deploy the four skills of confidence to create any outcome you want in your life. Click here to learn more and sign up for A Confident Life!

Most of us think self-trust means knowing we'll always make the right decision and that our future self will behave perfectly. But in this episode, you'll hear why this impossible standard actually sets you up to never trust yourself - and how that erodes both your confidence and your ability to create what you want in life. I share examples from my own life and give you practical steps to start creating the kind of self-trust that allows you to handle whatever comes up - not because you'll do everything right, but because you know you can deal with whatever happens. Learn more about A Confident Life here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/aconfidentlife/ Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/450Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Are You Ready to Live A Confident Life?Join me for my brand new program, A Confident Life, January 12 – December 8, 2026. Over the course of a year working with me and other smart dynamic women, you will learn how to deploy the four skills of confidence to create any outcome you want in your life. Click here to learn more and sign up for A Confident Life!