Why Motherhood Feels Harder Than It Should [Episode 341]

If you want a better present, you need a bigger future. This principle from Victor Frankl’s “Man’s Search For Meaning” has been proven in positive psychology - to truly thrive in your present, you need something you’re working toward. I came across this years ago when I had two little kids at home and felt aimless, with days dragging on. That’s when I started developing my yearly vision practice, and it’s become the single most transformative tool in my journey from surviving to thriving. In this week's episode, I’m walking you through the five steps of creating your vision for 2025 using the CREATE framework: Capture what happened (by reviewing the previous year) Rewrite your story (shifting from default negative stories to empowering ones) Envision the year (exploring possibilities in all areas of life) Assess your roles and foundation (who do you want to be in each role?) Think long-term and evaluate priorities (where are you heading?) Whether you’re deep in survival mode and can barely think beyond today, or you’re ready to dream big for your family’s future, this framework will meet you exactly where you are. Your vision might be crystal clear or totally fuzzy right now - but either one is a perfect starting point. If you’d like to work through this with me, you can find the Create Your Vision Mini Course and workbook at thrivinginmotherhood.com/vision. These principles are also built into the 2025 Thriving in Motherhood Planner, but they work in any planning system you already love. I truly believe this practice can help you move from just surviving your days to finding more joy and purpose in motherhood. It has for me. We’ll also be working through this together in the Thriving in Motherhood Collective if you’d like some community support along the way! You can join that HERE.

When I was pregnant with my fourth baby, I learned something fascinating about labor – in between contractions, our bodies release oxytocin, flooding us with feel-good hormones. This completely changed my birth experience because I started focusing on these moments of relief instead of just anticipating the next contraction. This principle, when we choose to magnify applies to every season of motherhood. Whether you’re navigating toddler tantrums, teenage conversations, pregnancy challenges, or relationship struggles, we can choose what we focus on. In this episode, I dive into: Why our brains naturally focus on the negative How magnifying the hard moments can seep into our relationships The difference between acknowledging difficult seasons and letting them consume us Practical ways to start noticing and appreciating the good moments How to train your brain to look for what’s going well Whether you’re in the trenches of morning sickness, managing strong-willed toddlers, or navigating big kid challenges, the conversation will help you find more joy in your days without denying the hard parts. And, don’t forget to grab the free five-step path from surviving to thriving checklist to help you identify where you are on the path and what you can do 

I read close to 100 books in 2024, and I'm excited to share my favorite book recommendations across different genres! From classic books to literary fiction, I've curated selections that align with my reading goals and support a positive motherhood mindset. Join me for this comprehensive book review that will inspire your next great read! Children's Literature The Penderwicks: https://amzn.to/49joJrb National Parks Mystery Series: https://amzn.to/49hS9WQ Ruby Holler: https://amzn.to/3ZgakYv Classic Literature Adam Bede: https://amzn.to/3B8YWW7 Middlemarch: https://amzn.to/4gbVqt5 Biography/Memoir Romney A Reckoning: https://amzn.to/49jvHfO Farewell To Manzanar: https://amzn.to/49fRRjk Self Help I Will Teach You To Be Rich: https://amzn.to/3ZxVnSY Find Your People: https://amzn.to/3ZyrUbx The Miracle Morning: https://amzn.to/3VikZkc 10x is Easier Than 2x: https://amzn.to/41eZTXv Choose Your Story, Change Your Life: https://amzn.to/3Oxta8v Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: https://amzn.to/49eUTUM Let it Go: https://amzn.to/3BheOG3 The Body Keeps Score: https://amzn.to/4ijcrU7

As a mom, I know exactly who I want to become. I also know there’s a gap between that vision and my current reality - in my character, my behavior, and my actions.   To help close this gap, I’ve created something that’s become one of my favorite tools this year: a personal life philosophy. But don’t let the fancy name fool you - it’s simply a collection of your best ideas, thoughts, and inspiration that help you specifically in your journey of becoming who you want to be. In this week’s episode, we’re diving into what a personal life philosophy is and why each of us needs one. I’ll share how it helps me in my quest to become who I want to be, plus practical tips for actually using it (because we all know how easy it is to create something and never look at it again). I’m excited to walk you through: A simple but effective way to organize your most important guiding principles How to create a spot for weekly (or even daily) reminders of how you want to navigate life Practical examples of how this tool has transformed my own motherhood journey Different ways to implement this system, whether you prefer paper planning or digital tools This year, I’ve included a special personal life philosophy section in the Thriving in Motherhood Planner. But if you prefer digital, I’ll show you how to use this system in Notion (with a free template and tutorial!) Sometimes in motherhood, especially during busy seasons like the holidays, it feels like there is no space for personal growth. But this is something you can do in just 20 minutes, right within the walls of your own home. It’s a simple way to reclaim a bit of yourself and make progress on something that really matters. Ready to start closing the gap between who you are and who you want to become? Tune in to this week’s episode, and let’s create your personal life philosophy together!

Ever been part of a book club that fizzled out after a few months? Or maybe you’ve wanted to start one but weren’t sure how to make it stick? This week’s episode is for you! I’m talking about what makes a book club truly work with Madeline Casey, who, along with Phoebe Cook, started the book club I’ve been part of for four years (and still love!). In this episode, we’ll talk about: Choosing books that people want to read Creating a format that keeps the discussion flowing Handling different beliefs and perspectives with grace Building an environment where everyone feels comfortable sharing Managing the practical stuff (hosting, leading discussions, etc.) Plus, we’re sharing our favorite books over the last four years!  Looking to start a book club that becomes the highlight of your month? This episode walks you through exactly how to make that happen.  

This fall has been a very busy season for our family where we are stuck tackling things that are urgent. While it has been exhausting and at times felt like survival mode (some days have been 100% survival mode), I have learned some powerful lessons that are changing how I approach my days that I discuss in this week’s episode. I’ve found myself living on razor-thin margins lately - where there’s just enough capacity for the scheduled things, but anything else feels impossible. Throughout this season, I’ve been learning some important lessons about how to make things work better, even when we’re at capacity: How a simple whiteboard is changing our family communication and getting everyone moving in the same direction What happened when I started letting my family help instead of running faster and faster by myself Why acknowledging our limitations (and communicating them to our kids) actually makes everything easier The mindset shift that’s helping me recognize I’m more capable than I think How simplifying and creating systems is slowly giving us more breathing room All these lessons from our busy season are becoming part of something bigger - The Surviving to Thriving Toolkit. After years of hearing, “I found your podcast - where do I start?”, I realize that all roads point to this toolkit. It will walk you through each stage of the journey from surviving to thriving, with real, practical help for wherever you are right now. I’m also including a Family Systems Playbook with video walkthroughs of how we actually make things work in our home. Not because it’s the only way or even the best way, but because having a starting point can make such a difference when you’re trying to figure things out for your own family. Right now I’m working on Win Your Week Academy (the Thriving phase) and in January I’ll start building out the other modules. I’m hoping to release the full toolkit in early 2025. If you want to be the first to know when it’s ready, you can join the waitlist at: thrivinginmotherhoodpodcast.com/toolkit. I hope this episode helps you pause and think about where you are in your own life. Whether it’s hard, fast-paced, slow, or busy, there’s always something we can learn to move us forward. 

I’ve been getting questions after the focus on how to merge effective mom planning with planning with your spouse. Andrew and I sat down after we tucked the kids into bed this week and talked about what planning looks like for us in our marriage which I hope will inspire you. But first, let’s get some misconceptions out of the way: Misconception #1: We Plan the Same Way Nope! Andrew has his own style of planning that works for his work schedule and keeping his priorities in check. Misconception #2: We are good at weekly, monthly, quarterly, and annual planning together. Also, no. We are pretty great at weekly planning (we rarely skip). We are good at doing annual reviews together. Anything beyond that is superb, but we really haven’t been consistent over the last 13 years of marriage. I hope that encourages you. You only need to be pretty good at one thing to have a huge impact in your marriage and family life. Misconception #3: We follow a clear checklist and it’s the same every time. Negative. We have fine-tuned what we cover and we adjust it based on how much time and energy we have and how unusual the week is. In this week’s podcast episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on our real-life planning process.  You’ll discover:  The story of how our weekly planning tradition began What actually makes it into our shared planning agenda Our individual prep work (and how much we actually share) A peek into our typical planning session Why these weekly check-ins matter (and what happens when we skip them) Whether you’re just starting out or looking to refresh your approach to planning with your spouse, I think you’ll find something helpful in this episode.

Have you ever felt the need to speed up your child’s life? Like it’s some kind of race to cram in everything they need before they turn 18? Today’s conversation with Leslie Martino challenged my thinking about this in the best possible way. Leslie has four kids (14, 12, and 10-year-old twins), and she shared something that hit home: older kids deserve a slow childhood too. We often talk about peaceful, slow living for little ones, but somewhere along the way, we forget that older kids are still kids. In this week’s episode, we talked about some practical aspects of slow living with older kids like: How to say no to the right things  Finding a community with like-minded families Managing the balance between activities and home life Creating intentional check-in times with each child If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the pace of life with older kids, or if you’re approaching the teenage years and wondering how to maintain close connections, this episode is for you. Leslie shares so much wisdom about creating a life that reflects your values, even (and especially) as your kids grow older. Tune in to hear our full conversation, including Leslie’s insights from her new book, The Joy of Slow: Restoring Balance and Wonder to Homeschool Learning. Whether you homeschool or not, her perspective on slowing down and staying connected with older kids is something every parent needs to hear.  

When Sierra first discovered the Thriving in Motherhood planner in 2021, she was deep in survival mode. With a three-year-old and an 18-month-old, she had been battling postpartum depression for over a year. “I need something,” she recalled thinking. “I can’t just be surviving anymore.” Like many mothers, Sierra initially hesitated about investing in a planner. But after discussing it with her husband, she took a leap - a decision that would transform not just her approach to motherhood, but her entire outlook on life. One of Sierra’s most profound realizations through using the planner was that “goals can be accomplished in small pieces.” This simple, but powerful insight helped her break free from overwhelm. Using the Thriving in Motherhood Planner’s structured approach, she began setting and achieving goals across different areas of her life, from reading classics with her children to pursuing her passion for drawing. What started as Sierra’s personal planning journey soon created beautiful ripple effects throughout her family life. As she invested time in her own growth and interests through the planner’s guidance, she noticed her children becoming curious and inspired by her examples. Through the planner’s guidance, Sierra found that taking time for personal growth doesn’t detract from motherhood - it enhances it. Sierra offers this wisdom for mothers feeling overwhelmed about starting their journey with the Thriving in Motherhood Planner: “Take it a little bit at a time.” She recommends: Don’t try to fill everything out at once Give yourself time to review your year and set intentions Focus on one domain at a time Remember it’s okay to put it aside during challenging seasons The journey from just surviving to really thriving doesn't happen overnight. But Sierra's story shows us something beautiful - when you have the right tool and give yourself grace to use it in your own way, you can build a life you're excited about.  It really can happen, one small step at a time. As Sierra discovered, you don't have to do everything at once. Start somewhere, focus on what matters most to you right now, and know it's perfectly okay to set it aside when life gets crazy. The planner will be there when you're ready to pick it back up again. If you’re ready to get started on your own journey, order your 2025 Thriving in Motherhood Planner HERE.

Today I’m going to walk you through the the Win Your Week planning system that’s built into the 2025 Thriving in Motherhood Planner. This system is designed to help you navigate the ups and downs of motherhood while still achieving your goals and creating a life you love. Why Focus on Winning Your Week? Let's face it: as moms, our days can be unpredictable. Some days are fantastic, others are challenging, and many are a mix of both. That's why I've found that focusing on "winning the week" is the sweet spot. It gives us enough time to balance productivity, self-care, and family time, even when individual days don't go as planned. So let’s break down how this whole system fits together so you can have a winning week: Vision for the Year: This is where we start. It doesn’t matter how fuzzy it is to begin - you just need to put some ideas on paper. I promise it will become more clear over time. Sandbox/Someday Maybe Section: This is a great spot for ideas you’re not ready to commit to. It’s a way to preserve those ideas without cluttering up your calendar or to-do list. Quarterly Vision: Your yearly vision breaks down into concrete projects, goals, and habits for each quarter. Monthly Planning: Here you have a spot to write down the goals, projects, and habits you want to work on for the next 30 days, based on your quarterly plan. Weekly Plan: This is where we’re really focusing. You’ll have a big three for the week, trying to take that vision and bring it into your week. You’ll also include next actions from your projects, tasks that just come up in life, appointments, and scheduled events. Recurring Tasks and Routines: These feed into your weekly plan too. They’re the things that keep your household running smoothly. Special Features to Note Think and Process Pages: These weekly blank pages are your catch-all for notes, ideas, and brainstorming sessions. They're perfect for corralling all the information that comes at us from different directions. Recurring Tasks and Routines: We've included dedicated spaces for weekly and monthly routines to help you manage household tasks more efficiently. Habit Tracking: There's space to track four weekly habits – enough to make progress without feeling overwhelmed. Looking Ahead Section: A place to jot down future plans and ideas, so you're always prepared for what's coming. Index: Like a bullet journal, this feature helps you quickly find important information you've written down throughout the year. Pre-Order Your 2025 Planner Mark your calendars! The 2025 Thriving in Motherhood Planner will be available for pre-order from October 21st to 26th. When you order during that time, it allows me to do one big bulk order, take it to a local printer, add coils, and then my kids package and ship it to you.  I hope this overview gives you a visual of how the Win Your Week planning system works. It’s designed to take you from where you are now, and help you close the gap to where you want to be with baby steps that filter powerfully through into something amazing!