#320: The silver bullet to deal with difficult team members.

In this episode, Ben discusses why induction (or onboarding) is more important than many leaders realise. While it can seem like a dry administrative task, it creates the first impression a new employee has of the team or organisation, and that impression can influence how connected and motivated they feel. Ben shares a personal story about a poor onboarding experience where nobody seemed prepared for his arrival, leaving a lasting negative impression. From there, he outlines several ways leaders can improve induction. These include creating a structured and repeatable process, helping new starters build connections with colleagues, introducing familiarity with the workplace and its people, and providing the right balance of early work so the new person feels useful without being overwhelmed. He also emphasises the importance of managers personally investing time in the induction process to help new employees feel welcomed and valued. Resources mentioned in this episode: SCARF model of motivation. Work with Ben 1:1.

In this episode, Ben argues that while there is rarely a true "silver bullet" in leadership, respect comes close when dealing with difficult team members. Respect involves fairness, listening to the other person's perspective, and involving them in decision-making about solutions. He explains that respect must go both ways, and that leaders must also ensure they are respected. When respect is absent, issues often escalate into formal performance management. Ben also encourages leaders to focus on what they can control in emotionally charged situations. Resources mentioned in this episode: Article: Taking a Coaching Approach with Less Telling and More Asking Work with Ben 1 on 1: Leadership coaching.

In this episode, Ben unpacks the concept of authentic leadership and simplifies it into practical action. Rather than trying to "bring your whole self to work," he suggests selectively bringing the most useful parts of yourself in a professional context. He introduces the leadership shield exercise, where leaders define four "being" qualities they want to embody at work. Ben also emphasises understanding personal values, developing self-awareness through feedback, and using 360 feedback processes to identify blind spots. Authentic leadership, he argues, builds trust and reduces stress because you are not pretending to be someone else. Resources mentioned in this episode: Understand your values online course Work with Ben 1 on 1 – leadership coaching.

Ben discusses how thoughtful leaders can survive and succeed in difficult workplace environments. Drawing on his own experience, he explains why some strong leaders may opt out of senior roles due to toxic cultures, and why that's a loss for organisations. Key strategies include knowing what you are getting from your current role, clarifying your personal values, connecting to a sense of purpose, and building a trusted support network. Ben also shares the example of rugby referee Hollie Davidson and reflects on how difficult environments can filter out capable people. Resources mentioned in this episode: Understand your values online course Work with Ben: Leadership coaching.

In this episode, Ben explores Herzberg's Motivator Hygiene Theory and explains how leaders can use it to better understand team motivation. This is an older theory, but recently it has been re-examined with further research studies which tend to confirm it is still quite a valid way to think about motivation. Hygiene factors such as salary, a safe workplace, policies and procedures create a baseline for motivation, but do not generate high engagement on their own. Motivators such as interesting work, recognition, appreciation, development opportunities and purpose drive higher levels of intrinsic motivation and discretionary effort. Ben explains the importance of ensuring hygiene factors are in place, while also focusing on individual motivators that managers can influence directly. He also discusses refreshed research that continues to support the two-factor structure in modern workplaces. Resources mentioned in this episode: Herzberg's Motivator Hygiene (Two-Factor) Theory Some refreshed research on the two-factor model: Paper 1, Paper 2, Paper 3. Work with Ben 1 on 1.

Ben shares four ways to convince yourself to do hard things when leadership demands it. He explains how considering consequences, reflecting on identity, treating challenges as learning experiences, and asking what a good leader would do can increase motivation. The episode connects these techniques to motivation theory, including towards and away-from motivation, and encourages leaders to act even when discomfort is present. Resources mentioned in this episode: Towards and away-from motivation Leadership coaching: work with Ben.

In this episode, Ben addresses the tension between ambition and burnout for thoughtful leaders. He explains why ambition matters and why sustainable habits are essential for long-term success. Drawing on his own routines, he covers healthy habits such as meditation, exercise, sleep, and nutrition, as well as the concept of restorative niches from Brian Little's work. Ben also challenges rigid ideas of work-life balance, suggesting flexibility and long-term thinking instead. Resources mentioned in this episode: Restorative niches (Brian Little) Work with Ben: Coaching.

Ben explores the idea that resistance is often a sign you should lean in rather than avoid. He explains how the brain's threat response drives avoidance and how social threats can feel as real as physical ones. Using a personal story about working with a difficult colleague, Ben shows how pushing through discomfort can build capability, even if the outcome isn't perfect. He also discusses research on the anterior mid-cingulate cortex and how doing hard things strengthens your ability to do more hard things in the future. Resources mentioned in this episode: SCARF model (David Rock) Anterior mid-cingulate cortex research Work with Ben: Coaching.  

In this episode, Ben reflects on four of the most important things he did for his career and what thoughtful leaders can learn from them. He explains how mindfulness helped him manage frustration and build emotional regulation over time, why joining Toastmasters reduced his fear of public speaking, and how listening to informal mentors shaped key career decisions. Ben also shares how studying for an MBA while working full time built discipline, healthy habits, and ultimately created the space to start Thoughtful Leader. The episode encourages leaders to work on themselves so they are better equipped to handle whatever challenges arise. Resources mentioned in this episode: Headspace app Waking Up app – Sam Harris Toastmasters International Work with Ben: Coaching.

In this episode, Ben breaks down the concept of ghostworking (which is really modern-day presenteeism) and explains why it's usually a commitment issue rather than laziness. He draws on motivation theory, including hygiene factors and intrinsic motivation, and shares practical ways to rebuild commitment through connection, purpose, responsibility, and fairness. The focus of this episode is on addressing root causes rather than defaulting to control or punishment. Resources mentioned in this episode: Thoughtful Leader Coaching – work with Ben.