Motivation - What Really Drives Kids/Teens and Adults

Why do we put things off, even when we want to get them done? In this episode of the Resilient Kid Podcast, Ashley Costello unpacks procrastination—what drives it, what’s really happening in the brain, and how to move from avoidance to action. You’ll learn why procrastination isn’t laziness but emotional resistance, and get practical tools to help kids, teens, and adults push past it with purpose and progress.You’ll HearWhy procrastination is emotional, not a sign of lazinessThe three emotional roots of procrastination: fear, overwhelm, and disconnectionHow the brain’s amygdala triggers avoidanceTools to break the cycle: chunking, the five-minute rule, the Pomodoro technique, and body doublingHow to connect tasks to your deeper “why” for lasting motivationReal-life stories from students and adults overcoming procrastinationA reflection exercise to help you and your kids take the next stepTimestamps00:00 – Why Procrastination Isn’t Laziness01:00 – What Happens in the Brain When We Resist Tasks02:00 – Emotional Roots: Fear, Overwhelm, and Lack of Connection05:00 – Turning Resistance Into Action06:00 – Tool 1: Chunking Big Tasks into Small Steps07:00 – Tool 2: The Five-Minute Rule08:00 – Tool 3: The Pomodoro Technique10:00 – Tool 4: Body Doubling for Accountability12:00 – Why “Finding Your Why” Matters15:00 – Examples: Students, Professionals, and Parents Reconnecting with Purpose19:00 – Lucy’s Story: From Paralysis to Progress23:00 – Reflection Exercise: Write Your Why Statement24:00 – Pairing Strategy with Purpose25:00 – What’s Next: Motivation at Different Life StagesFind all the resources in our Listeners Loungehttps://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/loungeUseful LinksSign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/shareGet “A Parent’s Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid” Book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkidukInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkidLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkidPinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademyYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costelloWebsite: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.ukJoin Our CommunityWe’re building a space where parents, teachers, and coaches can support each other and share tools to help kids thrive. Visit our Facebook group or drop us a message if you’d like to get involved in reaching more children.

What really drives us? In this episode of the Resilient Kid Podcast, Ashley Costello kicks off a mini-series on motivation. She explains what fuels motivation, what blocks it, and how kids, teens, and adults can build more of it in daily life. From brain science to practical tools, you’ll learn how motivation really works and how to support it at home, in school, and at work.You’ll HearThe difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivationWhy internal motivation lasts longer than external rewardsHow dopamine helps us feel progress and momentumThe three keys of self-determination theory: autonomy, competence, and relatednessReal-world examples for kids, teens, and adultsA story of how linking revision to a bigger purpose helped a teen thriveA reflection exercise to spot your own intrinsic motivatorsTimestamps00:00 – What Drives Us and Why Motivation Matters01:00 – Intrinsic vs Extrinsic Motivation02:00 – Why Intrinsic Motivation is Stronger03:00 – Dopamine and the Brain’s Role04:00 – Self-Determination Theory Explained06:00 – Autonomy: Having a Sense of Choice07:00 – Competence: Building Skills and Confidence10:00 – Relatedness: Connection and Support15:00 – Why Some Environments Boost Motivation16:00 – A Teen’s Story: From Bribes to Purpose18:00 – Reflection Exercise to Find Your Motivators19:00 – What’s Next in the Motivation Mini-SeriesFind all the resources in our Listeners Loungehttps://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/loungeUseful LinksSign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/shareGet “A Parents Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid” Book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkidukInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkidLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkidPinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademyYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costelloWebsite: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.ukJoin Our CommunityWe’re building a space where parents, teachers, and coaches can support each other and share tools to help kids thrive. Visit our Facebook group or drop us a message if you’d like to get involved in reaching more children.

Burnout isn’t just for adults. Kids and teens feel it too. In this episode of the Resilient Kid Podcast, Ashley Costello explores how to spot early warning signs of burnout, why it happens, and what parents and teachers can do to help children reset and build resilience.You’ll HearThe difference between normal tiredness and true burnoutEarly red flags such as loss of motivation, mood swings, and withdrawalWhy neurodivergent children may be more at riskCommon causes of burnout in schools and at homeSimple strategies to reduce pressure and create downtimeHow rest, decompression, and self-care support recoveryTimestamps00:00 – Spotting Early Signs of Burnout in Kids and Teens00:35 – What Burnout Looks Like in Children01:31 – Personal Story of Recognizing Burnout04:01 – Warning Signs to Watch For09:25 – Causes of Burnout in Kids and Teens15:27 – Strategies to Support Kids and Teens20:47 – Recap and Key Takeaways21:56 – Invitation to Join Our CommunityFind all the resources in our Listeners Loungehttps://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/loungeUseful LinksSign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/shareGet “A Parents Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid” Book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkidukInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkidLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkidPinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademyYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costelloWebsite: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.ukJoin Our CommunityWe’re building a space where parents, teachers, and coaches can support each other and share tools to help kids thrive. Visit our Facebook group or drop us a message if you’d like to get involved in reaching more children.

Friendships play a huge role in your child’s confidence, happiness, and learning. In this episode of the Back to School mini podcast series, we explore how friendships change as children grow, the pressures of online life, and how you can support your child to feel connected and resilient.You’ll HearWhy even one good friend protects against stress, anxiety, and bullyingHow friendships boost confidence and academic performanceWhat changes in friendships look like from primary to secondary schoolWays to guide kids through peer pressure and online challengesPractical tips to build social skills and resilienceHow to support without stepping in too quicklyTimestamps00:00 – Introduction to the Podcast Series01:04 – The Importance of Friendships01:39 – Friendship Dynamics in Primary School04:35 – Challenges in High School Friendships07:44 – Navigating Online and Peer Pressure09:49 – Helping Kids and Teens Build Social Skills18:40 – Parental Role in Supporting Friendships22:55 – Conclusion and Merchandise AnnouncementFind all the resources in our Listeners Loungehttps://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/loungeUseful LinksSign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/shareGet “A Parents Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid” Book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkidukInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkidLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkidPinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademyYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costelloWebsite: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.ukNew MerchandiseWe’ve partnered with Rachel to create a range of supportive and fun items for kids and parents. Expect weighted blankets with affirmations, hoodies with fidget ties, mugs with bold logos, and more. To join the priority list for early access, email us at [email protected] or [email protected].

The school year is here in full swing—and with it, the return of chaotic mornings, rushed evenings, and tired kids. But it doesn’t have to feel so stressful.In this episode of The Resilient Kid Podcast, we talk about simple, practical routines that help your home feel calmer while giving your kids and teens the predictability they need to thrive.You’ll hear:Why routines matter for kids and adults alikeHow sleep resets can transform mornings (and why teens aren’t lazy—they’re wired differently)Practical morning tips: charts, clothes prep, and no screens before breakfastAfter-school decompression strategies that prevent meltdownsWays to hand over responsibility to teens without constant naggingWhy connection beats perfection when it comes to parentingA simple question to ask your family: “What’s one small shift that would help us all breathe easier?”You’ll also get updates on The Resilient Kid’s teacher training, exciting new merch, and where to find us at the upcoming Peace Festival.Find all the resources in our Listeners Loungehttps://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/loungeTimestamps00:00 – Back to school vibes: the return of routine01:17 – Why routines reduce stress for kids and adults03:10 – Sleep reset: foundations for calmer mornings05:00 – Morning hacks: charts, prep, and no-screen rule09:32 – After-school routines: decompression and homework15:11 – Teen independence and responsibility19:36 – Parent mindset: connection over perfection22:20 – Quick family question to reset routines24:05 – Updates: teacher training wins and new merch27:40 – Peace Festival announcement and invite30:15 – Closing: embrace rhythm and flow, not rigid rulesUseful LinksSign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/shareGet “A Parents Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid” Book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkidukInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkidLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkidPinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademyYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costelloWebsite: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk

The back-to-school season brings big emotions—not just for kids, but for parents too. In this episode of The Resilient Kid Podcast, we dive into how families can manage the wobbles that come with new teachers, timetable changes, friendships, and transitions to high school, college, or university.You’ll hear:Why mental health challenges are rising among children and teensSigns of stress to look out for (clinginess, stomach aches, irritability, withdrawal)Practical tools like hot chocolate breathing, pocket anchors, and calming playlistsHow to use journaling and simple mindset shifts to reduce worriesTips for parents: short goodbyes at drop-off, open-ended questions with teens, and holding back judgmentThe message: every child’s path looks different, and that’s okay. Whether your child is starting primary school, navigating the shift to high school, or preparing for university, you’ll leave with practical ways to support them—and yourself—through the transition.Find all the resources in our Listeners Loungehttps://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/lounge Timestamps00:00 – Introduction to Back-to-School Emotions00:40 – Summer reflections and the shift into September01:52 – Rising child mental health statistics02:55 – Understanding back-to-school wobbles03:31 – Practical hacks and routines for a smoother start04:22 – Friendships, confidence, and belonging09:59 – Recognizing signs of stress and anxiety13:52 – Emotional regulation tools for kids and teens22:47 – Parent and carer tips for drop-offs and conversations28:41 – Final encouragement and supportUseful Links Sign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/shareGet “A Parents Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid” Book - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkidukInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkidLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkidPinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademyYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costelloWebsite: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk  

Embracing Our Cyclical Nature: Importance of Cycle Tracking and Systemic ChangeAshley interviews Marlou, founder of Period Reality, to discuss the concept of humans as cyclical beings. They explore the idea that we're not designed for the linear 'grind' and instead should live in harmony with our natural cycles. Marlou elaborates on how societal systems, particularly education and workplaces, could be adapted to better accommodate these natural rhythms. The conversation also delves into practical steps for individuals to track their cycles and the potential benefits of such awareness. The episode underscores the importance of systemic change and individual awareness for improved well-being and productivity. Find all the resources in our Listeners Loungehttps://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/lounge Timestamps00:00 Introduction to the Resilient Kid Podcast 00:49 Meet Marlo: Advocate for Cyclical Living 02:42 Understanding Cyclical Living 05:40 The Impact of Industrialization on Our Cycles 07:02 Practical Tips for Living in Sync with Your Cycle 12:10 Reimagining Education with Cyclical Awareness 14:44 Creating Supportive Environments in Schools 24:02 Advocating for Change in the Workplace 32:13 The Importance of Cycle Tracking 36:28 Conclusion and Final ThoughtsGuest Linkshttps://www.facebook.com/PeriodReality https://www.periodreality.org/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/marloucornelissen/ https://www.instagram.com/marloucornelissen/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGRPVdzMr-o - TedX Useful Links Sign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/shareGet “A Parents Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid” Book - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkidukInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkidLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkidPinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademyYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costelloWebsite: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk  

Navigating Consent, Sex, and Safety at University Ashley Costello, a psychotherapist and founder of The Resilient Kid, discusses the importance of understanding consent, safe sex, and personal boundaries for young adults transitioning to university. She addresses the challenges posed by new freedoms, social media, and substance use, and underscores the crucial need for open communication and education on these topics to ensure students' emotional and physical well-being. Find all the resources in our Listeners Loungehttps://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/lounge Timestamps00:00 Introduction to Consent and Safety 01:04 Why Discuss Consent Before Uni? 02:32 Understanding Consent: The FRIES Model 02:52 The Importance of Clear and Enthusiastic Consent 03:14 Navigating Intoxication and Consent 04:00 Consent in Relationships 04:57 Teaching Boundaries and Respect 07:54 The Importance of Safe Sex 11:24 Emotional and Physical Wellbeing 15:23 Practical Tips for Parents 22:29 Conclusion and ResourcesUseful LinksSign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/shareGet “A Parents Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid” Book - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkidukInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkidLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkidPinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademyYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costelloWebsite: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk  

Join psychotherapist Ashley Costello on the Resilient Kid Podcast as she discusses how to support your kids transitioning to university without smothering them. Covering the emotional challenges parents face, Ashley provides practical advice on maintaining connections, recognizing when to step in, and empowering young adults to manage their new responsibilities. With tips on creative communication and helping during stressful times, this episode aims to help parents and their children navigate this significant life change.Find all the resources in our Listeners Loungehttps://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/lounge Timestamps00:00 Introduction: Supporting Your Kids at University00:38 Adjusting to the Empty Nest02:38 Maintaining Connection Without Control03:58 Creative Ways to Stay Connected08:42 When to Step In: Recognizing the Signs10:01 Empowering Independence14:47 Adapting to Change: Staying Curious18:15 Conclusion: Embracing the JourneyUseful LinksSign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/shareGet “A Parents Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid” Book - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkidukInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkidLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkidPinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademyYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costelloWebsite: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk  

Essential Life Skills for University-Bound TeensIn this episode of The Resilient Kid Podcast, Ashley Costello discusses the essential life skills that 18-year-olds need before leaving for university. The episode covers fundamental areas such as cooking, laundry, cleaning, financial confidence, and healthcare.Ashley provides practical advice on how to equip teens with the resourcefulness and confidence to handle these aspects of independent living, ensuring they can thrive and remain safe while away from home. The episode emphasizes the importance of preparation and ongoing conversations between parents and their soon-to-be university students.Find all the resources in our Listeners Loungehttps://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk/loungeTimestamps00:00 Introduction: Preparing for University Life01:10 Essential Domestic Skills: Cooking Basics06:59 Laundry Lessons: Keeping Clothes Clean08:58 Cleaning and Household Maintenance12:01 Financial Confidence: Budgeting and Jobs19:30 Administrative Skills: Adulting 10120:57 Healthcare and Safety: Staying Healthy and Safe25:09 Conclusion: Future-Proofing Your KidsUseful LinksSign up to our newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/240667/93026367927485942/shareGet “A Parents Guide To Raising A Resilient Kid” Book - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1739302605Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientkidukInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilientkidLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilientkidPinterest: https://za.pinterest.com/resilientacademyYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@theresilientkid957Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ashley-costelloWebsite: https://www.theresilientacademy.co.uk