420 – I Have Always Been Here

The Istari were never young and aged only slowly; Alan and Shawn will have to settle for only one of those two. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark as they continue their three-part study of The Istari from Unfinished Tales. The Valar hold a council meeting to help make up for ancient errors; Olórin would prefer to say no to the promotion; and Legolas is called out for underachievement. We speculate about the Blues’ street-wizard lifestyle, wonder about second jottings, and think Morrissey would have made a great Black Wizard. Also: send Thufir, not Duncan. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The wizards went about in simple guise, as it were of Men already old in years. Alan and Shawn have been doing that for years. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark as they embark on a three-episode look at the chapter on the Istari in Unfinished Tales. The Valar send five emissaries, two of whom promptly disappear; Radagast gets distracted watching nature documentaries, and Gandalf has nothing to do with Grand-Elf. We engage in some light blasphemy, imagine Saruman and Gandalf in a Highlander-universe, and decide we ought not count on the parakeets of doom. Also, Kermit the Wizard. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join The Man of the West as The Lord of the Mark submits his application to return to the PPP as guest host for a six-episode run to wrap up Season 10; Alan welcomes Shawn back by throwing him into the chaos of a live Q&A for our 35th Questions After Nightfall! We take a deep dive into some important words from On Fairy-Stories 10 years after the first time we tried, answer a hard question about hard times, and talk about the consequences of bad parenting in Arda. Also, we speculate about Ar-Pharazôn the looksmaxxer, decide that Alan does blasphemy really well, and conclude that Tom wins the internet with “Here’s Your Hröa, What’s Your Hurry?” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Aghan brings a watch-stone to Barach’s house; Alan and Don wonder if that violates the HOA rules. Join The Man of the West and The Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts Guy as we conclude our two-episode look at The Drúedain from Unfinished Tales — and Don’s run of episodes on this season of the PPP. Barach needs home protection, Aghan learns a painful truth, and it’s no surprise the Drúedain are a secretive people. We wonder if Sauron considered that he might have to take a share in the hurts of a thing he made, express our admiration for Tolkien’s story-within-a-story, and discover that while a rock feels no pain, Drúedain do. Also, The Tolkien Professor stops by for a visit! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Folk of Haleth retained many practices that seemed strange to the Eldar and the other Atani; Alan retains a few strange practices and Don wants nothing to do with them. Join The Man of the West and The Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts Guy as we begin our two-episode look at the Unfinished Tales chapter on the enigmatic people known as the Drúedain. The Haladin are already unusual, so what’s one more quirk among Edain?; the Drûg might be ‘unlovely’ but they’re incredible trackers; and their orcs decide not to dare disturb the sound of silence. We only wish we had merriment untainted by scorn, admit we might also be unlovely in looks, and speculate about Drúedain in Númenor. Also, maybe the Drúedain don’t like mushrooms after all? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Short cuts lead to long delays… or perhaps just slaughter and death. Join The Man of the West and The Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts Guy as we welcome back the always-insightful, often-hilarious Dr. Bret Devereaux to the Common Room! Our favorite ancient and military historian (the conjunction is important) joins us to answer questions ranging from Númenórean naval power to the practicality, or lack thereof, of steel bows. You’ll learn more about ship-building than you thought you’d ever need to know, find out that donut armies are (sadly) not covered in sprinkles, and hear about centuries-old food that is still edible — alcohol is a good plan. We ask why a navy might take five years to arrive for their “friends”, wonder how Saruman thought he could actually win this thing, and find ourselves educated about riverine transport. Also: “they’re the same flaw”. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Elendilmir worn by the Kings of Arnor had not the ancientry nor potency of the original; there’s got to be a joke in there about Alan and Don, right? Join The Man of the West and The Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts Guy as we conclude our two-part look at The Disaster of the Gladden Fields from Unfinished Tales. Isildur realizes he can’t live with or without the Ring, Aragorn discovers a piece of ancient Númenórean history, and Saruman is a naughty wizard. We wonder what the Ring makes invisible, decide neither of us will take part in The Isildur Challenge, and wonder if Aragorn can count. Also: will Don write a new TTRPG campaign? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Isildur proclaims his sovereign lordship over all the Dúnedain; Alan knows better than to proclaim lordship over his own podcast. Join The Man of the West as he welcomes back Don Marshall to the Common Room to begin our two-part look at the chapter The Disaster of the Gladden Fields from Unfinished Tales. Isildur plans a long road trip, the orcs have the high ground, and Elendur tells his dad to walk til you run and don’t look back. We discuss the state of hand-me-downs among families of Númenórean descent, agree that it is dawn — not Don — that is ever the hope of men, and discover we both liked Solo, thank you very much. Also: another book from Don! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Saruman has no time for the simples of peasants; Alan and Matt wouldn’t mind if things were simpler. Join The Man of the West and The Nerd of the Rings as we get an in-depth look at Saruman’s continuing jealousy of Gandalf as we conclude our four-episode study of The Hunt for the Ring from Unfinished Tales. Saruman knows it’s a long day living in Isengard, Gandalf gives reasons why smoking is actually good, and Radagast gets stuck in the middle. We alliterate with Sean Connery, wonder where the non-smoking section is in Rivendell, and decide we clearly cannot choose the hobbit in front of you. Also, the Nazgûl’s wet socks.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gollum was peculiarly fitted to survive in Moria, though at cost of great misery; Matt is also able to survive his time on the PPP with the same cost. Join The Man of the West and The Nerd of the Rings as we get a closer look at Saruman’s unenviable position in our third episode of four on The Hunt for the Ring from Unfinished Tales. Gollum doesn’t know how to open a door, Saruman discovers there ain’t no easy way out, and the Nazgûl make a new friend on the road north. We conclude that Númenor messed up Middle-earth timezones but agree they’re still smart enough not to bother with Daylight Saving Time, agree with Bret Devereaux’s conclusion that “Saruman is a dummy-wummy whose plans fail because they are bad”, and observe that we might be the only two people in the Venn diagram of sports fans and Tolkien fans. Also: Matt gets the munchies. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices