#3: Teaching confidence & autonomy, without raising arseholes!

In this episode, we talk parental guilt, curated childhoods, boredom, independent play and why connection doesn’t always mean getting down on the floor and joining in.I also share how being autistic affects the way I play and the unexpected compromise Alysia and I found.Because children need our attention and interest, but perhaps we were never supposed to be the main character in every game they play.Do you genuinely enjoy playing with your kids or are you watching the clock until you can escape? Head over to my patreon (for free) to give me your thoughts! Follow or subscribe, and join the conversation in the comments or over on our socials.Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheOffScriptParentInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/ej_is_mother_dearest/Pod Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_off_script_parent_podcast/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ej_is_mother_dearestEmail: [email protected]

This episode is for the parents doing it without a village.Practical Support Mentioned in This EpisodeFree School Meals & Pupil PremiumIt’s not just about lunch. Schools often receive additional funding that can support:Uniform costsSchool tripsBreakfast & after school clubsHoliday food vouchersSupermarket vouchers during school holidaysHAF (Holiday Activities and Food provision)Speak to your child’s school directly or go here to check if you are eligible here: https://www.gov.uk/apply-free-school-mealsYour Council’s “Local Offer”Every UK council has a Local Offer page listing:Clubs & groups for children (including SEND support)Subsidised activitiesParent support servicesFamily hubsYouth groupsSearch: “[Your council’s name] Local Offer”Social PrescribingYou may be referred (via GP or support worker) to:Gym membershipsExercise classesWalking groupsCommunity activitiesOften used for mild depression, isolation, diabetes, high blood pressure and more.Peanut App/Facebook Parent Groups/Mumsnet? An app connecting local parents for friendship and support.Safety first!!Meet in publicShare your locationDon’t give out your home address initiallyOrganisations for single parentshttps://www.gingerbread.org.uk/https://www.familylives.org.uk/ Recime App About £35 a year, but so worthwhile. NOT an Ad. Search it in Google Play or Apple Store. I can only share a link that benefits me so…Shall we build our own village? I’m considering starting a closed Off Script Parent community Facebook group. Safe, supportive, not an echo chamber of doom, but something real. Would you join? If so…do you wanna be an admin? (Come on, let’s go and play…. Frozen?) I’ll run a poll over on Instagram after this episode drops. Go vote and DM me your thoughts.If this episode resonated with you, please:Follow / SubscribeLeave a reviewShare it with a parent who might benefit from my 2 pence. Follow me on socials if you so wish:YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ej_ismotherdearest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ej_is_mother_dearest/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ej_is_mother_dearest You’re not alone here.Much Love, Mother Dearest X

In this episode of The Off Script Parent, we talk about what it really means to be what you needed growing up — and why parenting has a way of dragging up old stuff you didn’t realise was still there. This isn’t about blaming your parents. It’s about noticing the moments where your reaction feels bigger than the situation, and understanding why that happens.We explore how childhood experiences shape our nervous system, the difference between everyday irritation and genuine triggers, and how unprocessed grief can show up as snapping, shutting down, or guilt. Being what you needed doesn’t mean parenting perfectly — it means choosing awareness, repair, and connection over autopilot.🖤 PatreonFor exclusive bonus episodes, deeper dives into topics like this, monthly The Yute Dem episodes, shoutouts, stickers and more: 👉 https://patreon.com/TheOffScriptParent📱 Instagram! Come and chat, share your thoughts:Podcast account: 👉 https://instagram.com/the_off_script_parent_podcast Personal / parenting chaos: 👉 https://instagram.com/ej_is_mother_dearest✉️ Get in Touch! Feedback, episode ideas, or just to say hi: 📩 [email protected] Thanks so much for listening — and remember, awareness is where the cycle breaking starts.Much love, Mother Dearest 🖤

Having Their BackWhat does “having your child’s back” actually mean?Because it’s not blindly defending bad behaviour. It’s not storming into school shouting “MY CHILD WOULD NEVER.” And it’s definitely not raising kids who think consequences don’t apply to them.This episode is about something quieter — and far more important.Having your child’s back means:keeping connection without excusing behaviourvalidating feelings without removing consequencesstaying calm, curious, and honest when they mess upmaking sure they know they’re supported, even when they’re wrongWe talk about why over-defending kids backfires, how entitlement is created, and what actually helps children grow into accountable, emotionally safe adults.This is about the long game — so your child still comes to you when it really matters.🛍 New merch drop live — link in my instagram Bio or you can check it out herehttps://the-off-script-parent-by-mother-dearest.myshopify.com/If there’s a quote from the podcast you want on a tee, DM or email me. ⚠️ Strong language throughout.📩 Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram: @ej_is_mother_dearest or @https://www.instagram.com/the_off_script_parent_podcast/TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@ej_is_mother_dearest

Episode 4: Mind Your LanguageWe worry so much about kids hearing the word “fuck”—but barely notice the things we say that actually stick.In this episode of The Off Script Parent, I’mtalking about: This episode isn’t about being polite or perfect.It’sabout being intentional with the language that lingers.Because kids don’t remember every word —they rememberhow those words made them feel.💛 Support the podcast & get bonus content:Patreon→ https://www.patreon.com/TheOffScriptParent🎙️ Hosted by Mother Dearest📩[email protected]📷 Instagram:@the_off_script_parent_podcast or ej_is_mother_dearest Jay, T. (2009). The utility and ubiquity of taboowords.https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1745-6924.2009.01115.xStephens, R., Atkins, J. & Kingston, A. (2009). Swearingas a response to pain.https://doi.org/10.1097/WNR.0b013e32832e64b1Teicher, M.H. et al. (2006). Parental verbal abuse andpsychopathology.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chiabu.2005.08.007Bandura, A. (1977). Social LearningTheory.https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1977-25733-000📚 References mentioned

In this episode of The Off Script Parent we’re getting into the good stuff:how to raise kids who are confident and independent without turning them into entitled little goblins.We talk about:What real confidence actually is How autonomy builds self-trust instead of constant battlesWhy kids melt down when they feel controlled or unheardThe difference between empowerment and raising a tiny dictatorHow to teach empathy so your kid can be strong and kindSimple phrases you can use to hand over more choice without losing all controlIf you want to go deeper, chat through your specific family dynamics, or get support with communication, boundaries or meltdowns, you can reach me here:📩 Email: [email protected]📸 Instagram (Podcast): @the_off_script_parent_podcastCome say hi, send your chaotic kid stories, or let me know what you want me to tackle next on the pod. 💗Research MentionedBandura, A. (1997). Self-efficacy & confidence development — mastery builds genuine confidence.https://books.google.com/books/about/Self_Efficacy.html?id=J0E3AwAAQBAJSegrin et al. (2013–2015). Studies on over-parenting & reduced autonomy, resilience and increased anxiety.https://doi.org/10.1080/15295192.2013.789693Gottman, J. (1997). Emotion coaching & empathy development in children.https://www.gottman.com/blog/an-introduction-to-emotion-coaching/Steinberg, L. (2014). Adolescent brain development & the importance of autonomy.https://www.apa.org/monitor/2014/06/teen-brainHarvard Center on the Developing Child. Executive functioning & why younger children struggle with regulation.https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/executive-function/

Rules for No Reason – Why They Won’t Respect Them… or YouIn this episode we’re flipping the script on those classic “because I said so” rules we all grew up with — the pointless, inconsistent, power-trippy ones that kids sniff out as BS within 0.3 seconds.We’re talking:• why kids don’t actually hate rules — just unfair ones• how pointless rules ruin trust and lead to sneaking/lying• the difference between a boundary and a power move• how to get respect without being a dictator• what to do with strong-willed / PDA-style kids• real examples straight from my house• scripts you can use TODAYIf you want the PDF guides, worksheets, cheat sheets and one-page summaries from this episode, just drop me a message and I’ll send them over.And if you feel like you’d benefit from 1:1 parent guidance sessions, I’m now offering personalised support for your specific family dynamics.📩 DM me on Instagram:@the_off_script_parent_podcast📧 Email:[email protected] for listening babes — let’s raise kids who respect us because we’re fair, not because we’re feared.

Ever wondered why your kid will chat absolute waffle to their mates but gives you the emotional equivalent of a grunt? Yeah. Same. This episode dives into how to actually get your kids and teens talking — honestly, openly, and without the whole “parent vs child showdown”. We’re flipping the script today: Not “how to talk so they’ll listen”… But how to listen so they’ll talk. In this episode I cover: ✨ Why lecturing shuts them down (and why listening opens them up) ✨ What “autonomy-supportive” parenting actually looks like (don’t panic, no fairy-godmother energy required) ✨ The seatbelt sentence that saves every heated conversation ✨ The 6 questions that work like psychology cheat codes ✨ How to talk to your kid about risky behaviour (like trying a cigarette) without them wanting to crawl into a hole ✨ How YOUR emotional regulation sets the tone for theirs ✨ Why this whole approach actually works according to research, not Instagram memes It’s calm, it’s honest, it’s sweary, and it’s the episode I wish parents had when we were teens doing dumb shit ourselves.  📚 Research Moments (for the nerds or the nosy) Grolnick & Ryan (1989) Rogers & Farson (1957) Soenens & Vansteenkiste (2005) Miller & Rollnick (1991) — Motivational Interviewing Deci & Ryan (2000) — Self-Determination Theory Bandura (1977) — Social Learning Theory Eisenberg et al. (1998) These support everything I talk about today — honesty, autonomy, emotional safety, and why your tone matters more than your punishment. 📄 Patreon Bonus AHHHHH! - shock, she isn't on the ball! - if you want the download before I get Patreon up to speed, EMAIL ME!! 💌 Come Say Hi Instagram: @the_off_script_parent_podcast Email: [email protected] Be kind to yourself and your kids — neither of you asked to be here and it’s wild out there. Much love, Mother Dearest xxx