297. Why Women Physicians Are So Good at Doing Too Much

A special release in honor of National Women Physicians Day 2026. Today's conversation is an invitation to notice overfunctioning with compassion. Overfunctioning may have helped you succeed in medicine but it often costs you intimacy, energy, and connection.   Overfunctioning and underfunctioning, as well as the resentment that follows, are a familiar relational dynamic. Overfunctioning is not a personality flaw; It's a role we step into. It is shaped by our training, context, and culture.   When we pause, rest, and allow space, we usually find that the world doesn't fall apart. Others step forward in their own time and way. Even when it feels unfamiliar, this shift can offer clarity, growth, and alignment with how we truly want to live and lead.     Pearls of Wisdom • Overfunctioning is a relational role developed in response to internal and external expectations. • When one person consistently does more, others often do less. Over time, the systems adapted this way. • Resentment is information. It often signals over-capacity. • Doing less can be an act of love that allows systems and relationships to reorganize. • When we stop stabilizing what's falling around us and tend to our own nervous systems first, is when change begins.     Reflection Questions Where in your life are you doing more than your share simply because you are capable? What feels most uncomfortable about stepping back? What might happen if you rest or stop managing? What would love do this week in your relationships or at work? Join me for coaching or a retreat to explore how to change the overfunctioning habit.  www.jessiemahoneymd.com In Mindful Love Small Group Coaching we specifically look at overfunctioining in the context of our intimate relationships. In Leading from the Heart and Transition Well Small Group Coaching  we work on it in the context of career and life pivots and leadership.  At retreats and advanced coaching, we work on moving beyond it in every realm of your life. If you are interested in having me speak to your group on overfunctioning or any of the topics discussed in this podcast, find out more here www.jessiemahoneymd.com/speaking or email me at [email protected]. Dr. Ni-Cheng Liang is also available to speak to your group. www.awakenbreath.com.   Other Healing Medicine Podcast episodes specifically relevant to Women Physicians you may want to explore: These episodes explore the inner experience of women physicians—without pathologizing it. 293. When Feedback Feels Threatening: Nervous System Wisdom for Women Physicians 292. When Physicians Stop Believing in Themselves: Burnout, Skepticism, and the Hidden Cost  290. The Overs, the Toxics, and Why Awareness Alone Isn't Enough  269. You Were Never Meant to Carry It All: Healing the Eldest Daughter Effect 259. What Are You Proud Of? A Conversation About Worth, Identity, and Redefining Success  154. Move Beyond Imposter Syndrome These episodes highlight connection, culture shift, and the idea that "you don't have to carry this alone." 275. The Power of an Introduction: How Women in Medicine Can Change Lives and Culture Through Connection  281. Be Radiantly You: The Antidote to Exhaustion and Judgment  263. It's Okay to Have Fun: The Evolution of a Happy Doctor (with Dr. Beni Seballos) 262. Standing Tall in Surgery: Finding Fulfillment Outside the Mold (with Dr. Jenny Kang)  261. From ER Burnout to Soulful Living: Enia Oaks on Poetry, Pause, and Healing  These episodes give practical frameworks for agency, boundaries, and sustainability. 289. How to Take Intentional Action So You Don't Burn Out  280. From Powerless to Purposeful: Reclaiming Choice and Agency in Medicine  279. Victimhood in Healthcare: Naming the Problem with Empathy and Truth  282. The Art of Not Fixing People  278. Finding Peace by Letting Go of Fixing, Managing, and Controlling  285. Mindfulness + Money: Rewriting Financial Stories for Physicians 239. Breaking the Over Helping Habit: Valuing Your Expertise as a Woman Physician *The Healing Medicine Podcast was formerly known as the Mindful Healers Podcast Nothing shared in the Healing Medicine Podcast is medical advice.

We are not here to pretend this is fine. We are here to help you get steady enough to choose how we respond. When fear narrows your thinking, you can come back to the body first.  Regulate first. Respond second. In this conversation, Ni-Cheng and I name the collective fear, grief, exhaustion, moral distress, minority stress, and racial trauma. These are real, lived experiences that shape safety in our bodies. When we are activated, our wise brain is harder to access. That is when we send the text, make the decision, or take the action from urgency instead of intention. This episode offers practical micro-tools that work in real life. The breath, a longer exhale, box breathing, 4-7-8,  orienting to safety by feeling the ground under our feet, and hand to heart are ways to physiologically downshift. Yoga is too. Read more about this topic in Jessie Mahoney's blog:  What would love do when the world feels usnsteady. https://www.jessiemahoneymd.com/jessies-blog/what-would-love-do-when-the-world-feels-unsteady PEARLS OF WISDOM • A dysregulated nervous system makes urgency feel like truth. Regulation gives us back clarity, choice, and values-based action. • Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn are adaptive responses. We can name our defaults without judging, then choose the next step. • Moral distress, grief, anger, numbness, and exhaustion are normal human responses to instability. Nothing is wrong with you. • Trauma and minority stress live in the body. When safety feels threatened, hypervigilance and shutdown make sense. • We do not have to do everything. We choose a lane of helping that matches our capacity and sustains us over time. Reflection Questions: When you feel activated, what is your default—urgency, over-functioning, numbness, shutdown, or fawn? What helps you return to the green zone —long exhale, feet on the ground, hand to heart, movement, nature? Which lane of helping feels like desire and alignment, and which lane feels like guilt or over-responsibility? If your future self looks back five years from now, what do you hope you feel proud of in how you showed up? If we want to practice these tools in community, especially in nature, explore our offerings here: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats www.jessiemahoneymd.com/coaching www.jessiemahoneymd.com/speaking The Healing Medicine Podcast was formerly known as the Mindful Healers Podcast Nothing shared in the Healing Medicine Podcast is medical advice.

Practicing peace is an intentional choice. It is not something we wait for once circumstances improve. It is something we practice in our breath, our bodies, and our awareness, even while uncertainty and grief remain present. This conversation offers a reminder that peace begins with you. Peace is not denial or bypassing.  It is the practice of staying present with what is real while remaining regulated.   PEARLS OF WISDOM Peace begins with you. When the world feels overwhelming, we often notice it first in our bodies. Uncertainty often prompts us to feel urgency, vigilance, and reactivity. Nervous system regulation is a skill for sustainable medicine and a sustainable life. Small, consistent embodied practices can interrupt spinning and reactivity. Peace practiced internally ripples outward into our families, workplaces, and communities. Reflection Questions: What does your body need in order to feel even a little more settled today? What is within your control right now, even if it is very small? If peace doesn't resonate, which word feels most supportive in this season: peace, kindness, love, connection, or something else? Many of the practices shared in this episode are ones we return to again and again in coaching, yoga, and retreats because they work. Whether it is the "Peace Begins With Me" finger-tapping mantra, grounding through the feet, restorative yoga, sound healing, or mindful time in nature, these tools support us in staying connected to ourselves when the world feels heavy. Community also offers peace.  Group coaching and retreats offer a chance to practice these tools in community.  Coaching provides space to explore how to integrate peace, agency, and presence into daily life and clinical work.  Yoga and mindfulness practices offer a direct, embodied pathway to nervous system regulation. Retreats weave all of this AND nature into one. They allow space to slow down, reconnect, and remember what it feels like to be held and supported. Learn more about individual and group coaching with Dr. Jessie Mahoney here: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/physician-coaching Explore year-round coaching, yoga, mindfulness, sound healing, and lifestyle medicine retreats for women physicians at Nicasio Creek Farm. www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreat-nicasio-creek-farm Join Ni-Cheng and Jessie in July 2026 for the Connect in Nature Mindfulness Retreats. www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreat-connect-in-nature *Nothing shared in the Healing Medicine Podcast is medical advice.  

Giving a TEDx talk taught me a lot about nervous system regulation, self-trust, and choosing love over control. In a medical culture that rewards certainty and discourages vulnerability, visibility is a nervous system challenge. Standing on a red circle requires staying present when every instinct says to hide. Through the question "What would love do?", this episode offers a grounded framework for decision-making, leadership, and communication that integrates data, values, and human emotion.  It is an invitation to choose integrity and presence when outcomes are uncertain and what we carry matters. PEARLS OF WISDOM • The questions we ask shape the answers we receive. Fear-based questions rarely lead us where we want to go. • "What would love do?" is not sentimental or self-sacrificing; it is grounded, honest, and committed to doing no harm, including to ourselves. • Physicians are trained to equate control with safety. • Visibility and vulnerability are nervous system challenges, not character flaws, and they can be practiced with intention. • Choosing love often means choosing discomfort in service of what matters most. Reflection Questions: Where in your life are you trying to manage or control when a different question might bring clarity? What decisions feel heavy right now, and how might they shift if you asked, "What would love do?" Where are you being invited to tolerate discomfort so something meaningful can grow? How might your work, relationships, or leadership change if you asked what love would do? CLOSING INVITATION Giving this TEDx talk deepened my trust in the question that has quietly guided my life and work for years. It reminded me that love stays present even when outcomes are uncertain, and that choosing reach over ease is often part of meaningful contribution. Please listen to the full TEDx talk here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRQwr8-ITBQ Please share it and spread love-based decision-making far and wide. It is more needed than ever right now. You sharing the talk is the way it will reach those who really need to hear it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.  If you want to learn how to use this tool in your own life, join me for coaching or a retreat. www.jessiemahoneymd.com *Nothing shared in the Healing Medicine Podcast is medical advice.  

A real-time reflection on nervous system triggers, leadership, vulnerability, and mindful responses to criticism. Have you ever found yourself physically triggered by feedback even when your logical mind knows it shouldn't be a big deal? This episode is a real-time, honest exploration of how high-achieving women—especially physicians, leaders, and caregivers—respond to emotionally charged moments of disapproval, and how to begin unwinding the nervous system patterns that often get activated. I share a recent, raw experience with receiving unexpected criticism that sent my nervous system into full activation, despite all my mindfulness tools, coaching experience, and good intentions. Alongside Dr. Ni-Cheng Liang, we unpack how medical culture, leadership visibility, and deeply ingrained perfectionism contribute to why these moments can feel so threatening and how to meet them with compassion and presence instead of shame and overreaction. We invite you to witness what it looks like to pause, process, and reflect before reacting as someone who's been conditioned to perform, fix, and never disappoint. Whether you're navigating visibility, leadership, or simply trying to show up with integrity in a complex world, this episode offers insight, grace, and nervous system wisdom for your journey. Here is link to a blog I wrote about this same experience.     Pearls of Wisdom: Your nervous system's response is not a personal failure but, it's a patterned response that can be gently re-trained. Leadership, visibility, and authenticity are inherently vulnerable—and feedback will always come with risk. Graceful responses don't always happen in the moment. The pause is where your power lives. Emotional reactivity is often a reflection of two activated nervous systems—not personal wrongdoing. Mindfulness helps us build the space to respond rather than react—and to remember we're human.     Reflection Questions: How does your body respond when you receive criticism or feel misunderstood? What do you tend to do when you're activated—fix, explain, retreat, or push back? What might become possible if you paused and got curious before reacting?     If you're a high-achieving woman in medicine or leadership navigating transition, visibility, or feedback with tenderness and courage, I invite you to explore coaching with me.  My Leading From the Heart and Transition Well small group programs beginning this January offer practical support, grounded insight, and compassionate connection. Learn more at www.jessiemahoneymd.com/coaching. You're also warmly invited to join Dr. Ni-Cheng Liang and me for the Connect in Nature Retreat this summer, where we'll practice mindful communication, nervous system regulation, and self-compassion in a nourishing, in-person community. www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats To bring this kind of insight to your team, organization, or leadership event, we offer keynote talks and workshops that integrate mindfulness, medicine, and human connection. Explore at: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/speaking and www.awakenbreath.org     Nothing shared in the Healing Medicine Podcast is medical advice.  

Physicians are trained to believe that skepticism keeps us safe and belief is generally risky. Over time, this quietly erodes trust in ourselves and what might be possible. What once felt protective can slowly narrow our lives and choices.  Stuckness, disconnection, and a subtle loss of feeling alive grows.   PEARLS OF WISDOM Medical culture often rewards certainty while sidelining imagination, hope, and belief. • Not believing in ourselves can feel protective, yet it frequently keeps us confined to versions of life that no longer fit. • Belief is not naïve optimism. It is a skill and a gift that can be practiced and borrowed when our own feels unsteady. • Imagining what is possible, even without a clear path, is essential for healing, leadership, and sustainable change. • Practicing belief does not abandon logic or science. It creates the spaciousness and courage to move toward alignment. Reflection Questions Where have we organized our lives around not believing, perhaps to avoid disappointment? What have we stopped believing in, and what did that belief once offer us? Who has offered us borrowed belief, and how did it feel to receive it? What might it look like to risk a small disappointment in service of something more alive or more true? If you are ready to gently begin believing again, mindfulness and coaching offer grounded places to start. Slowing down allows us to notice where fear has shaped our choices and where belief may still be quietly present. Whether you are navigating burnout, transition, or a longing for more meaning and spaciousness, coaching and retreat spaces can support this remembering. They all offer a compassionate, practical way to reconnect with belief and possibility. Enjoy a yoga class on this topic on Jessie's YouTube channel - Mindful Yoga to Grow Trust and Belief with Dr. Jessie Mahoney Read more about this topic on Jessie's Blog - The Gift of Belief The Connect in Nature Retreat is also a meaningful space to rediscover awe, wonder, and belief—in ourselves and in what is possible. Partners and colleagues are encouraged to join. Shared experiences often deepen connection and clarity. www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats If we would like to bring this work into our organizations, Dr. Liang and I both offer speaking and workshop experiences that support belief, healing, and connection in healthcare and beyond. www.jessiemahoneymd.com/speaking www.awakenbreath.org Nothing shared in the Healing Medicine Podcast is medical advice.

Have you ever considered how a few carefully chosen words could shape your year, your energy, your decisions, and the way you experience life? In this annual tradition, we share our personal practice of choosing intention words for the year ahead. This isn't about goals or resolutions. It's about choosing how you want to be, move through, and live your life. This year's process was deeper, slower, and more nuanced than in past years.  Intention words act like a GPS for your nervous system. They offer clarity and direction through challenge, and how the right words if chosen with care can become some of your most transformative tools for personal and professional growth. Whether you're new to this practice or returning to it, you'll find inspiration, permission, and a deep sense of possibility. Pearls of Wisdom: Intentions are not goals, they're a mindful orientation. They work at the nervous system level to support aligned action and self-compassionate growth. Choosing multiple words (including a stretch word) adds richness and dimension. Life is complex, and your words can meet that with grace. Words should feel aligned, not performative. Let go of judgment, and choose words that support the version of yourself you're growing into. Words are powerful tools for decision-making. Ask yourself: Will this make me feel wealthy, healthy, strategic, or exquisite? This practice is most powerful when done with intention, over time, and often with support. It's subtle but profoundly transformative work Reflection Questions: How do you want to feel at the end of next year? What do you want to experience emotionally, physically, and in your relationships? What version of yourself are you growing into? What does she wear, how does she lead, how does she make decisions? If you'd like support in choosing your own intention words and integrating them into your year, I offer this process within all of my 1:1 coaching and group programs. This work is gentle, profound, and truly life-changing. If this episode resonates and you're ready to lead your life, your relationships, or your team more strategically, bravely, and exquisitely—join me in a coaching container or at a retreat. Explore retreats at www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats Learn about coaching at https://www.jessiemahoneymd.com/coaching If you'd like to bring this mindful approach to your team or conference, I'd be honored to speak or lead a workshop. Learn more at www.jessiemahoneymd.com/speaking For Dr. Ni-Cheng Liang's speaking and workshops, visit www.awakenbreath.org Nothing shared in the Healing Medicine Podcast is medical advice.  

What if the very things you're hard on yourself about are actually strengths that are simply overused?  In this solo episode, I invite you to step into a new understanding of your patterns without judgment or shame. Explore the "overs" and the "toxics" which are the subtle (and not so subtle) ways our best traits become burdens when they're overdone. If you've ever been told you're too much, felt depleted by the traits that once helped you succeed, or wondered why awareness alone isn't shifting your patterns,  this episode is for you. Pearls of Wisdom: Many of your "admirable" qualities such as achievement, responsibility, or independence can become draining when taken too far. There's nothing wrong with you; you're just overdoing what once worked. Naming the "overs" (like overthinking, overdoing, overfunctioning) and the "toxics" (toxic productivity, toxic independence) brings both awareness and relief. It's not about fixing yourself; it's about finding your way back to balance. Awareness alone doesn't shift entrenched patterns. Real change happens in relationships with yourself, your nervous system, and others who can reflect your patterns back to you compassionately. Reflection Questions: What are you over right now? Which of your strengths has become emotionally or energetically expensive? What might become possible if you moved beyond consuming and started engaging with this work in a deeper, more embodied way?   If you're ready to move beyond listening and into transformation, join me for small group coaching or a nourishing retreat. Both are designed to help you unwind the "overs" and move from depletion to aligned ease.  Learn more at: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/coaching www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats If you'd like to invite me or Dr. Liang to speak or lead a workshop for your team, institution, or conference, learn here: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/speaking www.awakenbreath.org Nothing shared in the Healing Medicine Podcast is medical advice.  

As we celebrate five years of the Healing Medicine podcast, this episode is a reflection on what has truly sustained us—intention, alignment, and choosing with awareness.  Together, we explore how consistency rooted in love, not obligation, leads to energy, creativity, and sustainability. We share personal stories about letting go, taking pauses, and returning to what feels alive.  This conversation is also a joyful announcement: our Connect in Nature Retreat is returning July 30–August 2, 2026. It's a decision made not out of expectation, but because we missed it, and because we chose it again. Whether you're feeling weary from "pushing through" or simply curious about a gentler way to stay committed, this episode offers a new lens and a powerful invitation to rechoose, realign, and return to yourself.     Pearls of Wisdom: Sustainability isn't about willpower, it's about choosing with presence and letting alignment lead. Feelings of resistance or resentment are gentle cues to pause, reevaluate, and possibly release. Healing happens when we release the pressure to perform and give ourselves permission to rest and evolve. Fun, ease, and joy aren't frivolous, they are wise signals of what's truly aligned. Spaciousness, non-judgment, and collaboration support the longevity of meaningful work.     Reflection Questions: Where in your life are you being consistent by force, rather than by choice? What would it feel like to choose instead of push? Which commitments feel alive and which might be asking for a pause, a shift, or a graduation? Where could more lightness or joy gently be welcomed in?   Why Connect in Nature is a Different Kind of Retreat Connect in Nature is unlike any other retreat I offer. It is the only opportunity to work in person with both Dr. Ni-Cheng Liang and Dr. Jessie Mahoney. It's intentionally designed for healers, physicians, and wellness professionals who crave a reset rooted in nature, mindfulness, and joy. Held at the Green Gulch Zen Center just north of San Francisco, you'll be surrounded by eucalyptus groves, redwoods, gardens, and the quiet beauty of the California coast. Here's what makes it special: Nature as co-teacher: Forest bathing, beach meditation, and fog hikes support nervous system healing. Freedom to choose: All practices are optional and guided with non-judgment—you participate in what serves you. Spaciousness: Core retreat hours are 10:30–3:30, with optional morning offerings and space for rest, reflection, or local exploration. Inclusive and welcoming: Open to all genders and professions—bring a partner, a colleague, a friend, or come solo. Choose your own lodging at local inns, allowing for private rest and personal integration. This retreat isn't about pushing yourself. It's about letting nature and mindfulness gently bring you home. Join us July 30–August 2, 2026 at Green Gulch Zen Center.   And yes—it's over my birthday weekend, and there's no better way to celebrate than in community, in nature, and in joy. Retreat details + registration: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats     Our Birthday Wish is to Help More Healers Find This Work As part of celebrating five years of the Healing Medicine podcast, we'd love to ask for your help in spreading this healing ripple even further: If this podcast has supported you... Please leave us a written review and a 5-star rating on your favorite listening platform. It helps others find the show and tells the algorithms to share this with more people who need it. Recommend it to a friend or colleague. Send them your favorite episode. Share it in your Facebook group, department, or residency class. Let someone know how it's helped you—that personal sharing is how this work continues to grow. This podcast was born out of love, and continues because of you. We are so grateful you are here.     If you're longing for more intention and joy in your life and career, I invite you to explore mindful coaching with me: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/coaching To bring this kind of healing to your institution, department, or medical team, learn more about my speaking offerings: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/speaking Dr. Ni-Cheng Liang also offers powerful keynotes, workshops, and wellness sessions through www.awakenbreath.org We would love to meet you this summer in the redwoods, and help you reconnect to what's truly meaningful. Nothing shared in the Healing Medicine podcast is medical advice.  

*]:pointer-events-auto scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]" dir="auto" tabindex="-1" data-turn-id= "request-WEB:68ce92f3-792c-4cdc-8844-a0b15dab7687-12" data-testid= "conversation-turn-26" data-scroll-anchor="true" data-turn= "assistant"> Many of us want to support children through big emotions but feel unsure how. We may notice anger, overwhelm, or shutdown and struggle to respond calmly. This episode reminds us that regulation begins with presence, not correction. Sometimes the most powerful tools are simple, creative, and shared together. This conversation offers a gentle path back to breath, connection, and play. PEARLS OF WISDOM • Teaching children to breathe through big feelings is a lifelong gift that supports emotional regulation and resilience. • What looks like anger in children is often fear, anxiety, or overwhelm beneath the surface. • Creative metaphors, like sports and play, can make mindfulness accessible and engaging for kids. • Co-creating meaningful projects can deepen connection and help families navigate transitions together. • Mindfulness is not just an individual practice but something we can model, share, and build in relationship. Reflection Questions: When a child in our life has a big emotion, how do we usually respond? What might shift if we paused to take a breath first? What creative practices could bring more connection into our family, classroom, or inner life? If we feel called to support children with mindfulness in tangible ways, there is an opportunity this month to donate a copy of Inhale, Exhale, Shoot to a child in need. For $15, books are being hand-delivered to shelters in New Orleans by Maeve and her school's service club—mindfulness in action. susanschadtpress.com The book is also available as a gift through Amazon or susanschadtpress.com. For those longing to embody these practices more fully, retreats offer space for rest, presence, and shared healing. Upcoming dates are available here: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats To bring mindful, compassionate conversations into organizations, schools, or healthcare settings, I offer keynote talks and workshops on emotional awareness, leadership, and well-being. www.jessiemahoneymd.com/speaking Dr. Ni-Cheng Liang also offers breath-centered workshops and speaks on mindfulness and medicine. www.awakenbreath.org Nothing shared in the Healing Medicine Podcast is medical advice. Hashtags for YouTube (SEO Optimized): #HealingMedicinePodcast #MindfulnessForKids #ParentingWithPresence #EmotionalRegulation #MindfulParenting #WomenInMedicine #PhysicianWellness #Breathwork #MindfulnessEducation #JessieMahoneyMD