Ep. 294 - Why Your Conversations Keep Turning Into Arguments In Your Marriage

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Most couples aren't disconnected because they don't care. They're disconnected because they were never taught how to create a marriage that works for them.If you've tried talking more, reading relationship books, listening to podcasts, or even attending therapy but still feel stuck in the same patterns, this episode will help you understand why.In Part 1 of this new series, I share the hidden reason so many couples continue struggling despite their best efforts. The issue often isn't a lack of love, effort, or commitment. It's the absence of a system.You'll learn the four foundational components every healthy marriage needs and why missing even one can create resentment, conflict, emotional distance, or the feeling that you've become roommates.In this episode, I cover:• Why talking about problems isn't always enough• The difference between fixing arguments and fixing systems• The four pillars of a healthy marriage• How self awareness impacts communication• Why partnership looks different in every relationship• The role connection plays in long term relationship satisfaction• Why generic relationship advice often falls shortFor more personalized support, book a clarity call to learn how marriage coaching can help you here!Thanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoachingIf you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Support the show

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!You don't need to become a perfect mom to become a calmer one.Many moms are carrying an invisible load they can't quite explain.We love their children deeply, yet find ourselves snapping more than we want to. We feel overstimulated, emotionally exhausted, and frustrated by how we show up during the hardest moments of motherhood.In this episode, I am joined by Maternal Wellness Coach, Jennifer Driscoll, to talk about why modern motherhood feels so overwhelming, what nervous system regulation actually means, and how moms can stop judging themselves and start supporting themselves.We discuss the difference between overwhelm and overstimulation, why so many moms feel disconnected from themselves after having children, and how learning to recognize your own warning signs can dramatically change the way you experience motherhood.If you've ever thought, "Why can't I just be more patient?" this episode is for you.In this episode we discuss:• Why motherhood today feels different than previous generations• The hidden impact of social media on maternal expectations• The difference between overwhelm and overstimulation• Why nervous system regulation matters more than willpower• How to recognize your personal warning signs before you snap• How emotional awareness strengthens your marriage and parenting• Small regulation tools that can make a big difference in difficult momentsGrab her freebie "When You're 2 Seconds From Snapping"Connect with Jen:IG: @itsjenniferleighThanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoachingIf you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Support the show

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Most arguments don't escalate because of the issue. They escalate because of how you react to each other's emotions.If your partner gets upset and you immediately get upset too, you're not solving the problem. You're mirroring their emotional state.In this final episode of my miniseries: "Why You Keep Having the Same Arguments", we're talking about one of the most overlooked communication patterns that keeps couples stuck: emotional mirroring.When your partner raises the temperature, do you raise yours too?If so, you're not alone. Most people were never taught how to stay grounded when someone they love is upset. Instead, they react, defend themselves, shut down, or attack back.The problem is that two dysregulated people rarely create a productive conversation.In this episode, you'll learn:• What emotional mirroring actually looks like in marriage• Why your partner's emotions trigger your own reactions• How conflict becomes a competition instead of a conversation• Why emotional regulation is one of the most important relationship skills you can develop• How staying grounded can help de-escalate arguments and create emotional safetyIf you want fewer exhausting arguments and more productive conversations, this episode will help you understand the role you play in the cycle and how to start changing it.Resources MentionedConflict to Connection GuideFor more personalized support, book a clarity call to learn how marriage coaching can help you here!Thanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoachingIf you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Support the show

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Modern motherhood isn't exhausting because you're doing it wrong. It's exhausting because you're carrying a load that previous generations weren't aware of.In this episode, I am joined by Psychologist and author Dr. Amber Thornton to talk about the emotional load of parenting and why so many moms feel overwhelmed, overstimulated, and depleted despite caring deeply about their families.We explore how parenting has shifted from focusing primarily on survival and stability to prioritizing emotional awareness, emotional intelligence, and connection. While this shift creates incredible opportunities for our children, it also places a significant emotional burden on parents who are often learning these skills in real time.In this episode, we discuss:• What the emotional load of parenting actually is• Why modern parenting feels so different from previous generations• The "living room kid" phenomenon and why many parents feel like they're always on• How self care directly impacts your ability to parent effectively• Why emotions aren't the problem and what they're actually trying to tell you• What emotional regulation really meansIf you've ever felt guilty for needing a break, frustrated by your reactions, or overwhelmed by the emotional demands of parenting, this conversation will help you feel seen, understood, and supported.Resources Mentioned• A Parent's Guide to Self-Regulation by Dr. Amber ThorntonConnect with Dr. Amber!Website - www.dramberthornton.comInstagram - @dramberthorntonYouTube - @dramberthorntonLinkedIn - @dramberthorntonThanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoachingIf you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Support the show

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Trying to prove your point during conflict might actually be the thing keeping you disconnected.In this episode, I talk about the mindset shift that helps couples stop repeating the same arguments and start functioning like true partners again.If conversations in your marriage feel like power struggles, if you constantly feel misunderstood, or if every disagreement turns into defending yourself, this episode will help you understand why that happens and what to do instead.In this episode I break down: • Why the need to “be right” creates more distance in relationships • The difference between protecting your ego and protecting your partnership • How curiosity changes the entire tone of conflict • Why understanding your partner matters more than winning • How compassion and emotional safety lead to better conversations • What healthy partnership actually looks like during disagreementThis episode is especially helpful for couples who feel stuck in repetitive arguments, defensiveness, resentment, or communication breakdowns after kids.Resources Mentioned:• Grab the Conflict to Connection GuideFor more personalized support, book a clarity call to learn how marriage coaching can help you here!Thanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoachingIf you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Support the show

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Most parents are trying to heal what they didn’t receive growing up, but in the process, many are wondering if we’ve lost some of the resilience previous generations had.In this episode, I'm joined by writer and creative entrepreneur Alice Park for a thoughtful conversation about parenting, resilience, emotional connection, and what modern families are navigating today.Together, we explored:The difference between Tiger Mom parenting and gentle parentingWhy many parents are trying to find a healthier middle groundWhy modern parenting can feel emotionally exhaustingOvercommitment, burnout, and protecting your family’s peaceRaising kids who actually want a relationship with you later in lifeConnect with Alice:Instagram: @aliceparkThe Crane Mother SubstackHer Photography Work: https://parkstudios.co/Thanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoachingIf you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Support the show

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Just because you're talking things through with your partner, doesn't guarantee you're going resolve things.If you and your partner keep having the same conversations on repeat, this episode will help you understand why.So many couples think the issue is that they “just need to communicate more.” But what often happens is this:You try to talk.The conversation gets emotional.Someone feels criticized.Someone shuts down or gets defensive.You both get exhausted.And eventually… you stop talking about it.Not because the issue is resolved.But because you’re emotionally drained.In this episode, I break down why so many conversations never actually lead to resolution and what’s truly missing underneath repetitive conflict patterns.Tune in to hear me share:• Why avoidance often comes from emotional exhaustion, not lack of care• The difference between expressing feelings and actually resolving conflict• How “me vs you” thinking keeps couples stuck in repetitive cycles• Why emotional safety matters during difficult conversations• The shift that helps couples move from surviving conversations to solving problems together• Questions to ask yourself before and during conflict to create more productive conversationsIf your conversations with your partner feel heavy, repetitive, or emotionally draining, this episode will help you start approaching conflict differently so you can feel more connected, supported, and like a true team again.Resources MentionedDownload the Conflict to Connection Guide here!For more personalized support, book a clarity call to learn how marriage coaching can help you here!Thanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoachingIf you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Support the show

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Have you ever considered foster parenting?In this episode, I am joined by Foster Parent Partner, Laura to talk about what foster parenting actually looks like behind the scenes.Laura shares about the emotional realities of caring for children impacted by trauma, how foster parenting affects marriage and family dynamics, and the support systems that help foster families navigate the challenges that come with stepping into this role.In this episode, we discuss:• What foster parenting actually is and how the process works• The emotional and behavioral challenges foster parents may encounter• How foster parenting impacts marriage, work, and family life• Why communication and flexibility matter so much in foster homes• Common struggles foster families face that people rarely talk about• The role of compassion, boundaries, and support systemsLaura also shares details about her book First Time Fostering, which helps hopeful and new foster parents feel more prepared and supported as they navigate the realities of foster care.If you’ve ever wondered whether foster parenting might be right for your family, this episode will help you better understand both the beauty and complexity of the journey.Connect with Laura:https://www.youtube.com/@foster.parentinghttps://youtube.com/shorts/gvU8Y4tNDD4https://www.tiktok.com/@fosterparenting/https://www.facebook.com/Foster.Parent.PartnerThanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoachingIf you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Support the show

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!If it seems like your conversations with your partner always end in arguments and issues never get resolved, it's not that you need to talk more. It's that the way you two talk isn't working anymore.In this episode, I break down why so many couples feel stuck repeating the same conflict patterns even though they communicate all the time.The truth is, most couples are not lacking communication. They are lacking structure and emotional safety in the conversation.Tune in to hear me share:Why conversations spiral even when you start with good intentionsThe communication pattern that keeps couples stuck in repetitive argumentsWhy “talking more” is not the answerHow to stay anchored during difficult conversationsA simple question that can completely shift the direction of conflictResources Mentioned:Download the Conflict to Connection Guide here!For more personalized support, book a clarity call to learn how marriage coaching can help you here!Thanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoachingIf you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Support the show

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Grief changes everything. And most people were never taught how to navigate it, especially when it comes to child loss.In this episode, I am joined by author and grief advocate, Jenny Kim, to talk about child loss, grief support, emotional capacity, and what grieving people actually need from the people around them.Jenny shares the heartbreaking story of losing her six month old son Joey and how that experience led her to write Look to the Sky and the Grievers & Friends community.Inside this episode, we cover:• What grieving parents wish people understood• Why “everything happens for a reason” can feel harmful in grief• The difference between supporting someone vs trying to fix their pain• How to show up when you don’t know what to say• The “Ring Theory” concept for navigating grief support• Why grief doesn’t go away and how capacity changes over time• The emotional impact of child loss on parents and siblings• How small acts of kindness can deeply support someone in grief• Why emotional presence matters more than perfect wordsConnect with Jenny:Instagram: @whatjoeytaughtmeInstagram: @grieversandfriendsWebsite: www.grieversandfriends.comSupport Jenny's Kickstarter campaign at:Grievers & Friends Official WebsiteThanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoachingIf you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Support the show