Ep. 233 - The Roommate Phase: How to Recognize and Stop It

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Have you ever talked to a couple married for 20+ years and wondered, “How do they do it?”Lasting love isn’t about luck—it’s about growth. Sure, meeting your person takes timing and chemistry, but staying happily married takes emotional awareness, communication, and a willingness to evolve together.In this episode, I’m breaking down what really keeps a marriage strong—and it’s not avoiding arguments or scheduling more date nights. It’s the health of you.Because your marriage is only as healthy as you are.When you work on your emotional well-being, your self-awareness, and how you show up in conflict, everything else starts to shift. Conversations feel safer, connection feels easier, and teamwork becomes natural again.If you’ve been doing all the “right” things but still feel distant, this episode will show you what’s really missing—and how to start changing it.Thanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching and follow me on threads @michellepurtacoaching!If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Additional Resources:Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Want to handle conflict with more confidence? Download this free workbook!Wanna make communication feel easy and stop feeling like roommates so you can bring back the romance and excitement into your marriage? Learn more about how coaching here!Support the show

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Menopause isn’t the end — it’s the beginning of rediscovering who you are.In this  episode, Michelle sits down with Adele Johnston, also known as The Menopause Coach, to debunk the myths, fear, and shame surrounding menopause. Together, they explore the emotional and physical changes that come with this transition — and how this next chapter can actually be one of the most liberating times of a woman’s life.They discuss:Why most women fear menopause — and what society has gotten wrong about itThe real signs you’re entering perimenopause (and why lab tests often miss it)Adele’s personal story of early menopause and what every woman should learn from itHow hormone therapy (HRT) works, who it helps, and what to know before considering itThe emotional awakening that often happens during this phase — and why women feel more confident, grounded, and unapologetic than everThe connection between unprocessed emotions, burnout, and physical symptoms during menopauseThis episode is for every woman — whether you’re approaching menopause, already in it, or simply want to understand your body better. You’ll walk away feeling informed, empowered, and hopeful about what’s next.Connect with Adele:IG: @The.MenopausecoachPodcast: The Menopause CoachWebsite: www.adelejohnstoncoaching.comThanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching and follow me on threads @michellepurtacoaching!If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Additional Resources:Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Want to handle conflict with more confidence? Download this free workbook!Wanna make communication feel easy and stop feeling like roommates so you can bring back the romance and excitement into your marriage? Learn more about how coaching here!Support the show

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Have you ever wondered why conflict with your spouse goes sideways all the time?One thing a lot of my clients have in common is that they're focusing on protecting themselves rather than to connect.In this episode, I uncover why so many married couples approach conversations to survive as if they're in a battle instead of connecting. When your nervous system feels threatened, your communication shifts into protection mode — fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. The result? Defensiveness, shutdown, or constant tension.Tune in to learn how to break this learned habit and start experiencing conflict as an opportunity to connect rather than something that needs to be hard fought and won.Download the Conflict to Connection Guide to help you slow down, name your emotions, and turn tension into teamwork.Ready to take the next step and receive support to finally start having more healthy communication and feel stronger with each conflict? Book your clarity call today to learn more about how coaching can help you!Thanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching and follow me on threads @michellepurtacoaching!If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Additional Resources:Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Want to handle conflict with more confidence? Download this free workbook!Wanna make communication feel easy and stop feeling like roommates so you can bring back the romance and excitement into your marriage? Learn more about how coaching here!Support the show

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Here is Part 2 of the Enneagram series with Christa Hardin! If you haven't listened to Part 1 yet, go check out Ep. 232 first and then come back to this!Much of marriage conflict is because of misunderstandings. Whether we take things personally when we didn't need to or our partner just has a different style of communication. Marriage gets easier when you start getting to know each other better and one way you can do that is by knowing each other's Enneagram.In this powerful conversation, I sit down again with Enneagram and Marriage expert Krista Hardin to dive deeper into how understanding personality types can strengthen your communication, conflict resolution, and connection.We go beyond just identifying your number—we unpack how each Enneagram type shows up in marriage: what motivates them, what triggers them, and how to bring out their best self in partnership.You’ll learn:How understanding core fears and motivations helps reduce conflictWhat each Enneagram type needs most in love and communicationWhy self-awareness is the key to being a better partnerHow to move from judgment to compassion using the Enneagram as a shared languageWhether you’re a loyal 6, nurturing 2, driven 3, or peaceful 9, you’ll leave this episode with fresh insight into how your personality influences your marriage—and how to create a stronger, more harmonious partnership.Connect with Christa!IG: @enneagramandmarriageWebsite: www.enneagramandmarriage.comThanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching and follow me on threads @michellepurtacoaching!If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Additional Resources:Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Want to handle conflict with more confidence? Download this free workbook!Wanna make communication feel easy and stop feeling like roommates so you can bring back the romance and excitement into your marriage? Learn more about how coaching here!

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Marriage was never meant to feel like co-managing a household.Yet for so many couples, that’s exactly where they find themselves—the roommate phase. You’re dividing chores, trading off bedtime routines, updating each other on logistics… but emotional intimacy, laughter, and closeness are nowhere to be found.In this episode, I share:What the roommate phase is and why so many couples end up here after kidsWhat creates this disconnectionThree clear signs you’re in the roommate phase (and what that means for your relationship)Why this phase won’t fix itself once kids get older—and what to do insteadSmall, practical ways to rebuild connection without overhauling your entire scheduleThe good news? This phase doesn’t mean you don’t love each other. It just means you’ve slipped into survival mode. And with awareness, small intentional steps, and consistency—you can shift from living like roommates to truly being partners again.Resources & Next Steps:Grab my free Conflict to Connection Guide to process your thoughts and feelings before bringing them up to your spouseReady for a complete reset in your marriage? Book a free Clarity Call with me here!Thanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching and follow me on threads @michellepurtacoaching!If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Additional Resources:Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Want to handle conflict with more confidence? Download this free workbook!Wanna make communication feel easy and stop feeling like roommates so you can bring back the romance and excitement into your marriage? Learn more about how coaching here!

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Your personality shapes everything—from how you handle conflict to how you connect with your spouse and kids.In this episode, I sit down with Christa Hardin, licensed marriage and family therapist and author of The Enneagram in Marriage. Krista has spent over 20 years helping couples strengthen their connection, and today she’s here to walk us through the Enneagram—a personality framework that goes beyond surface-level behaviors to uncover your core fears, desires, and motivations.Together, we explore:What the Enneagram is and why it’s different from other personality toolsThe 9 personality types and their core fears and motivationsThis conversation is packed with insights that will help you better understand yourself and the people you love most. Whether you’re brand new to the Enneagram or you’ve dabbled before, you’ll leave with practical ways to apply it in your everyday life.Stay tuned for Part 2 of this series where we explore how the Enneagram shows up in marriage dynamics.Connect with Christa!IG: @enneagramandmarriageWebsite: www.enneagramandmarriage.comThanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching and follow me on threads @michellepurtacoaching!If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Additional Resources:Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Want to handle conflict with more confidence? Download this free workbook!Wanna make communication feel easy and stop feeling like roommates so you can bring back the romance and excitement into your marriage? Learn more about how coaching here!

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Happy marriages aren’t about luck—they’re about habits.If you’ve been feeling like roommates or co-parents instead of a couple, you’re not alone. Parenthood, work, and responsibilities can slowly edge out connection. But the truth is, happy couples don’t coast—they intentionally practice small, consistent habits that keep their connection alive.In this episode, I share the 4 key habits happy couples do differently, why they work, and how you can begin weaving them into your own marriage—even if you feel exhausted, disconnected, or stuck in “roommate mode.”These aren’t grand gestures or even the occasional date nights—they’re simple, doable practices you can start today. And when you repeat them consistently, they become second nature, creating long-term intimacy and resilience in your marriage.If your marriage feels heavy, serious, or distant, this episode will show you a way forward.🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned in this EpisodeEp. 213: The Phases Every Marriage Goes Through (and What Each One Needs)Ep. 227: Fighting Fair: Setting Ground Rules for ConflictClarity Call - if you're ready for support to work through communication issues, resentment, or disconnection, schedule your free clarity call here!Thanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching and follow me on threads @michellepurtacoaching!If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Additional Resources:Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Want to handle conflict with more confidence? Download this free workbook!Wanna make communication feel easy and stop feeling like roommates so you can bring back the romance and excitement into your marriage? Learn more about how coaching here!

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Life with kids can feel like a race from the moment the day begins—and most of us end up rushing without even realizing it.In this episode, I’m joined by parenting expert Candy Chan to explore how “rush culture” shows up in family life and what we can do to create more calm and connection at home.We talk about:How rushing impacts kids’ ability to self-regulate and build independenceWhy slowing down—even just a little—can reduce stress for the whole familySimple, age-appropriate ways to support toddlers, elementary kids, tweens, and teens without rushingYou’ll walk away with practical ideas to make everyday routines smoother, strengthen your kids’ confidence, and bring more ease into your parenting journey.Connect with Candy!FB: @hoppitylearningIG: @hoppitylearningYouTube: @hoppitylearningThanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching and follow me on threads @michellepurtacoaching!If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Additional Resources:Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Want to handle conflict with more confidence? Download this free workbook!Wanna make communication feel easy and stop feeling like roommates so you can bring back the romance and excitement into your marriage? Learn more about how coaching here!

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Communication breakdowns don’t always come from what you say—they often come from when and how you say it.In this episode, I share the game-changing realization that transformed how my husband and I communicate. It’s not just about being passive, assertive, or aggressive—it’s about recognizing your processing style.There are two main types and when these two styles collide, conversations can spiral into misunderstanding, assumptions, or frustration. One feels abandoned. The other feels pressured. Both feel disconnected.Inside this episode, you’ll learn:Why your partner might shut down or dominate conversationsCommon triggers and misinterpretations for both stylesPractical ways to advocate for your needs without invalidating your partnerHow to use shared language and strategies to prevent unnecessary conflictBy the end, you’ll understand how to navigate these differences with more patience, empathy, and awareness—so conversations become a bridge, not a battlefield.Ready to turn conflict into connection? Download my Conflict to Connection Guide, filled with prompts to help you gain clarity and approach conversations with confidence and intention.Thanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching and follow me on threads @michellepurtacoaching!If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Additional Resources:Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Want to handle conflict with more confidence? Download this free workbook!Wanna make communication feel easy and stop feeling like roommates so you can bring back the romance and excitement into your marriage? Learn more about how coaching here!

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Taking time away from your family isn’t selfish—it’s essential.In this episode, I’m joined by Jillian McCloskey, founder of Momcations, to talk about why moms need intentional time away and how these trips can completely transform your patience, your marriage, and your sense of self.We discuss:What a “momcation” really is and why it’s different from just staying home for a breakWhy stepping away allows your partner to step up and builds their confidence tooHow kids benefit when moms take time away (spoiler: it often creates the sweetest core memories)Practical tips for overcoming mom guilt and starting small if leaving feels impossibleIf you’ve been waiting for the “perfect time” to take a break, this conversation will remind you why that time is now. Because when you return home recharged, everyone wins.Connect with Jillian:Website: www.momcations.coIG: @momcations.coThanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching and follow me on threads @michellepurtacoaching!If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Additional Resources:Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Want to handle conflict with more confidence? Download this free workbook!Wanna make communication feel easy and stop feeling like roommates so you can bring back the romance and excitement into your marriage? Learn more about how coaching here!