Ep. 221 - How to Use Resentment to Strengthen Your Marriage

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Communication breakdowns don’t always come from what you say—they often come from when and how you say it.In this episode, I share the game-changing realization that transformed how my husband and I communicate. It’s not just about being passive, assertive, or aggressive—it’s about recognizing your processing style.There are two main types and when these two styles collide, conversations can spiral into misunderstanding, assumptions, or frustration. One feels abandoned. The other feels pressured. Both feel disconnected.Inside this episode, you’ll learn:Why your partner might shut down or dominate conversationsCommon triggers and misinterpretations for both stylesPractical ways to advocate for your needs without invalidating your partnerHow to use shared language and strategies to prevent unnecessary conflictBy the end, you’ll understand how to navigate these differences with more patience, empathy, and awareness—so conversations become a bridge, not a battlefield.Ready to turn conflict into connection? Download my Conflict to Connection Guide, filled with prompts to help you gain clarity and approach conversations with confidence and intention.Thanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching and follow me on threads @michellepurtacoaching!If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Additional Resources:Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Want to handle conflict with more confidence? Download this free workbook!Wanna make communication feel easy and stop feeling like roommates so you can bring back the romance and excitement into your marriage? Learn more about how coaching here!

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Taking time away from your family isn’t selfish—it’s essential.In this episode, I’m joined by Jillian McCloskey, founder of Momcations, to talk about why moms need intentional time away and how these trips can completely transform your patience, your marriage, and your sense of self.We discuss:What a “momcation” really is and why it’s different from just staying home for a breakWhy stepping away allows your partner to step up and builds their confidence tooHow kids benefit when moms take time away (spoiler: it often creates the sweetest core memories)Practical tips for overcoming mom guilt and starting small if leaving feels impossibleIf you’ve been waiting for the “perfect time” to take a break, this conversation will remind you why that time is now. Because when you return home recharged, everyone wins.Connect with Jillian:Website: www.momcations.coIG: @momcations.coThanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching and follow me on threads @michellepurtacoaching!If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Additional Resources:Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Want to handle conflict with more confidence? Download this free workbook!Wanna make communication feel easy and stop feeling like roommates so you can bring back the romance and excitement into your marriage? Learn more about how coaching here!

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Conflict is inevitable in marriage—but arguing is optional.In this episode, I’m breaking down how to set ground rules for conflict so you can stop letting arguments spiral and start using disagreements as opportunities to grow closer.We often inherit the way we fight from how we grew up. Without intentional guidelines, fights quickly turn into defensiveness, blame, and stonewalling. But when you and your partner set ground rules together, conflict becomes a space for trust, intimacy, and partnership.Tune in to learn:Why conflict doesn’t have to damage your marriageThe difference between conflict and arguing (and why it matters)How ground rules create emotional safety during disagreementsPractical examples of fighting fair (no name-calling, one issue at a time, pausing if emotions get too high, practicing repair)Why repair and reconnection are just as important as the fight itselfIf you find yourself avoiding fights because they always escalate, or if you keep having the same argument without resolution, these tools will help you shift the way you communicate and finally break that cycle.When you know how to set rules for healthy conflict, you’ll feel more like teammates—even when you disagree.Grab my Conflict To Connection Guide here!Thanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching and follow me on threads @michellepurtacoaching!If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Additional Resources:Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Want to handle conflict with more confidence? Download this free workbook!Wanna make communication feel easy and stop feeling like roommates so you can bring back the romance and excitement into your marriage? Learn more about how coaching here!

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Bad marriage advice is everywhere—and following it could be quietly sabotaging your relationship.In this episode of The Marriage & Motherhood Podcast, I’m joined by fellow relationship coach Monica Tanner to debunk some of the most common (and harmful) pieces of advice couples are told. From the well-meaning but destructive “Never go to bed angry” to the seemingly logical “Compromise is the key to happiness,” we unpack why these ideas don’t actually work—and what to do instead.We also explore:How not addressing issues at night can actually help your marriageWhy compromise often leads to resentment instead of connectionWhat healthy collaboration and curiosity look like in real-life marriagesThe hidden ways moms, especially, abandon themselves in the name of being “good wives” or “good mothers”How Monica’s new book helps couples break free from myths that keep them stuckIf you’ve ever felt like you were doing everything “right” but still weren’t happy in your marriage, this conversation will open your eyes to what’s really going on—and how to change it.Connect with Monica:Website: www.monicatanner.comIG: @monitalksmarriageGrab her new book here!Thanks for listening!If you're ready to break the cycles you've noticed in your marriage, reach out by booking a clarity call to become a client! https://michellepurta.as.me/clarityConnect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching and follow me on threads @michellepurtacoaching!If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Additional Resources:Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Want to handle conflict with more confidence? Download this free workbook!Wanna make communication feel easy and stop feeling like roommates so you can bring back the romance and excitement into your marriage? Learn more about how coaching here!

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Love languages aren’t forever — they can change too!When you were dating, maybe gifts or fancy dinners made you feel loved. But after kids? Chances are, what fills your cup has shifted. Maybe now it’s acts of service, quality time, or simply being told how much your partner appreciates you.The problem is, most couples don’t realize that their old ways of showing love may not land anymore, so you both keep trying, but it feels like your efforts miss the mark. That’s where disconnection, resentment, and unmet needs sneak in.In this episode, I share:Why love languages evolveHow to recognize when your needs (and your partner’s) have shiftedSimple ways to check in and stay updated on what feels most supportive right nowHow curiosity and experimentation can keep love alive even in busy parenthoodYour marriage isn’t broken if the old ways don’t work anymore. It’s an invitation to update the “manual” so that your relationship keeps thriving as you both grow and change.If you’re ready to uncover where your marriage is thriving and where it needs more attention, grab my Marriage 360 Review. It’s the perfect way to see clearly where to focus your energy for the biggest impact.Thanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching and follow me on threads @michellepurtacoaching!If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Additional Resources:Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Want to handle conflict with more confidence? Download this free workbook!Wanna make communication feel easy and stop feeling like roommates so you can bring back the romance and excitement into your marriage? Learn more about how coaching here!

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Mom brain isn’t just in your head—it’s real.If you’ve ever put your keys in the fridge, forgotten why you walked into a room, or felt like your mind just can’t keep up since becoming a mom, you are not alone. I’ve been there, and I know how frustrating it can feel.That’s why in this episode, I sat down with licensed marriage and family therapist Atara Parkinson to unpack what’s really happening when “mom brain” shows up.We talk about:What mom brain actually isHow hormonal shifts, stress, and the never-ending mental load affect your brain and memoryThe role minerals like magnesium, potassium, sodium, and calcium play in reducing brain fogSimple, practical ways you can support yourself through nutrition, nervous system care, and self-care that goes deeper than spa daysBy the end of this conversation, you’ll feel reassured that mom brain doesn’t mean you’re broken—it’s your body asking for support. And when you give it what it needs, you can feel more grounded, focused, and present again.Connect with Atara!IG: @atara.parkinsonWebsite: www.ataraparkinson.comThanks for listening!If you're ready to break the cycles you've noticed in your marriage, reach out by booking a clarity call to become a client! https://michellepurta.as.me/clarityConnect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching and follow me on threads @michellepurtacoaching!If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Additional Resources:Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Want to handle conflict with more confidence? Download this free workbook!Wanna make communication feel easy and stop feeling like roommates so you can bring back the romance and excitement into your marriage? Learn more about how coaching here!

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Tough conversations are not the same as confrontations and knowing the difference could change your marriage.In this episode, I'm unpacking a common misconception that keeps couples stuck: the belief that speaking up about challenges is automatically “confrontational.” Tune in to hear me share:The real definition of confrontation (and why it doesn’t belong in a healthy marriage)How to reframe conflict so it feels like teamwork, not a battleWhy avoiding hard conversations creates bigger problems over timeHow to see conflict as “maintenance” for your relationshipIf you’ve been avoiding hard topics because you don’t want to rock the boat, this episode will give you the clarity and courage to start communicating in a way that builds closeness instead of distance.Download the Conflict To Connection Guide here!Thanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching and follow me on threads @michellepurtacoaching!If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Additional Resources:Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Want to handle conflict with more confidence? Download this free workbook!Wanna make communication feel easy and stop feeling like roommates so you can bring back the romance and excitement into your marriage? Learn more about how coaching here!

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Mom guilt and anxiety often show up hand in hand—and for many moms, it feels impossible to shake.In this episode of The Marriage & Motherhood Podcast, I’m joined by psychotherapist Patrice Payment to talk about why anxiety can hit hard after becoming a mom, even if you never struggled with it before. We unpack the most common triggers, the thought patterns that keep you stuck, and the link between guilt and the pressure to “do it all.”You’ll learn how to identify unhelpful thinking patterns like black-and-white thinking, catastrophizing, and “should” statements—and how to replace them with more compassionate, flexible perspectives. We also share practical tools to shift from feeling powerless to feeling in control of your choices, reduce burnout, and prioritize your own needs without guilt.Whether you’re a new mom or years into motherhood, these strategies will help you navigate anxiety with confidence, protect your mental health, and enjoy motherhood without losing yourself.What you’ll hear in this episode:Why anxiety often starts after kids, even if you were fine beforeCommon ways mom guilt and anxiety show up in daily lifeHow “should” statements fuel guilt and burnoutStrategies for challenging unhelpful thought patternsPractical tools to respond to anxiety instead of spiralingThe surprising link between saying “no” and feeling calmerConnect with Patrice!Website: www.momlifewithp.comIG: @momlifecounselingThanks for listening!If you're ready to break the cycles you've noticed in your marriage, reach out by booking a clarity call to become a client! https://michellepurta.as.me/clarityConnect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching and follow me on threads @michellepurtacoaching!If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Additional Resources:Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Want to handle conflict with more confidence? Download this free workbook!Wanna make communication feel easy and stop feeling like roommates so you can bring back the romance and excitement into your marriage? Learn more about how coaching here!

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Resentment doesn’t mean your marriage is broken, it means something needs to change.It’s not just frustration. It’s a signal. A buildup of unmet needs and silence that, left unaddressed, can lead to emotional disconnection, bitterness, and burnout.In this episode, we’re unpacking what resentment really is and why it shows up so often in marriages, especially after kids. You’ll learn how to use it as a tool for reconnection.In this episode, I share:What resentment really means (and what it’s not)How to recognize the signs earlyEveryday ways resentment builds in parenting and partnershipHow to use resentment to strengthen your marriageResources mentioned:Marriage 360 Review – Identify where resentment is hiding and what your marriage needs mostBook a Clarity Call to explore how coaching can help your marriage grow strongerThanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching and follow me on threads @michellepurtacoaching!If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Additional Resources:Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Want to handle conflict with more confidence? Download this free workbook!Wanna make communication feel easy and stop feeling like roommates so you can bring back the romance and excitement into your marriage? Learn more about how coaching here!

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Chores are more than just about getting the house clean. In this episode, I'm joined by Family Coach Lori Sugarman-Li and she shares how chores are opportunities to teach your kids life skills and build a stronger family dynamic.In this episode, we dig into how involving kids in the work of running a household is about so much more than ticking off tasks on a to-do list. It’s about instilling responsibility, empowering them to contribute meaningfully, and fostering resilience they’ll carry into adulthood.You’ll learn why reframing chores as "family contributions" can transform the way your kids see them (and how you feel about enforcing them). This isn’t about nagging or micromanaging—it’s about helping kids understand the scope of work that keeps a family functioning and giving them a sense of pride in being part of that.Here’s what we cover in this episode:Why chores aren’t just chores—they’re opportunities for growth and empowermentHow involving kids in household work builds self-esteem, accountability, and communication skillsSimple strategies to make chores feel like meaningful contributions instead of punishmentsHow to model the value of teamwork so your kids learn to carry their weight in the familyWays to handle pushback and frustration without creating power strugglesIf you’re tired of the endless battle over chores and want a fresh, more collaborative way to approach them, this episode will help you reimagine what shared responsibility looks like in your home.Connect with Lori!Website: https://ourhomeourpride.comIG: @ourhomeourprideBuy her book here!Thank you for listening!If you're ready to break the cycles you've noticed in your marriage, reach out by booking a clarity call to become a client! https://michellepurta.as.me/clarityConnect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching and follow me on threads @michellepurtacoaching!If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Additional Resources:Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Want to handle conflict with more confidence? Download this free workbook!Wanna make communication feel easy and stop feeling like roommates so you can bring back the romance and excitement into your marriage? Learn more about how coaching here!