January 9 Daily Nugget; What We Control & What We Don't

As a sort of "Re-Boot" for The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations podcast after taking the last 6 weeks of 2024 "off" I am choosing to 'start over' this way .... please listen weekly to Down the Rabbit Hole episodes dropped at the start of each week and / or listen daily to these readings from The Daily Stoic-- nuggets as I call them -- of wisdom passed along from Ryan Holiday. Stephen Hanselman and the ancient Greek Philosophers such as Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Seneca. I hope you will do both. I hope you will consider journaling along with me. I hope it provides some inspiration, even motivation to keep going, to how we do what we do, to why we do what we do in moving forward 'after'...I hope it is a tool that you (like me) might find useful in your life after loss by suicide.The following is an excerpt directly from the book -- they are not my words and are placed here as a sample to help you journal. The full book must be purchased to follow along all year. I am ONLY doing this in January (on the podcast).TODAYS READING January 14 - CUT THE STRINGS THAT PULL YOUR MINDGet your own copy of The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday & Stephen Hanselman**“Understand at last that you have something in you more powerful and divine than what causes the bodily passions and pulls you like a mere puppet. What thoughts now occupy my mind? Is it not fear, suspicion, desire, or something like that?” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 12.19 "Think of all the interests vying for a share of your wallet or for a second of your attention. Food scientists are engineering products to exploit your taste buds. Silicon Valley engineers are designing applications as addictive as gambling. The media is manufacturing stories to provoke outrage and anger. These are just a small slice of the temptations and forces acting on us—distracting us and pulling us away from the things that truly matter. Marcus, thankfully, was not exposed to these extreme parts of our modern culture. But he knew plenty of distracting sinkholes too: gossip, the endless call of work, as well as fear, suspicion, lust. Every human being is pulled by these internal and external forces that are increasingly more powerful and harder to resist. Philosophy is simply asking us to pay careful attention and to strive to be more than a pawn. As Viktor Frankl puts it in The Will to Meaning, “Man is pushed by drives but pulled by values.” These values and inner awareness prevent us from being puppets. Sure, paying attention requires work and awareness, but isn’t that better than being jerked about on a string?" - all above quoted words from the credited to the authors**I hope you are considering journaling along with us in January__________________________________________________________________________Go to my WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" is support central.PS....The FIRST SESSION of the Legacy Writing Project in 2024 has finished & the last one is under way...GET ON THE LIST NOW for the SINGLE DATE start for 2025For a way to leave a Legacy of your child - GO HEREIf you, or someone you know, is struggling ww suicidal thoughts, reach out:CALL 988   OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USASupport the show

Today I tackle a doozy -- HOPE. Why is it such a tricky, sneaky thing?? Mythical like a Chupacabra, a Sasquatch or Nessy, right?  It can technically be found all around us, in the smallest of places... a sunny day, a kind word, an unexpected flower on our walk... and yet, it seems to elude so many of us. The problem lies in the fact that we have to allow it in -- we have to WANT to find hope before it will be there. We must choose it. UGH. Right?So, in today's Down the Rabbit Hole I discuss this topic of HOPE in and out in order to try and demystify and encourage you to take the steps toward hope. To choose it (and why). Come with me today and let's explore, hope and guilt and many things in between.AND if you are a Survivor Mom .... reach out in January (2025) for a special discount on the Legacy Project and / or an Empowered Healing Retreat in the Caribbean. It would be my honor to do this work with you -- I wish I had opportunities like this earlier in my grief, but I didn't...so now you do! My hearts mission is to provide meaningful, real-help-resources and healing opportunities for suicide loss survivors and one-on-one with other moms like me. Be sure to check out my website for tons of free resources and recommendations as well as other healing opportunities. AND watch emails in Jan and February for some new options. I don't add a LOT, but what I do add is always designed for maximum impact.  Sending love, peace and enough hope for us both! (See, that's just one way community helps -- we need others to be our strength and motivators and accountability partners when we can't get there alone!) "This is so lonely, but you do not have to be alone." - XO Melissa  __________________________________________________________________________Go to my WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" is support central.PS....The FIRST SESSION of the Legacy Writing Project in 2024 has finished & the last one is under way...GET ON THE LIST NOW for the SINGLE DATE start for 2025For a way to leave a Legacy of your child - GO HEREIf you, or someone you know, is struggling ww suicidal thoughts, reach out:CALL 988   OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USASupport the show

As a sort of "Re-Boot" for The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations podcast after taking the last 6 weeks of 2024 "off" I am choosing to 'start over' this way .... please listen weekly to Down the Rabbit Hole episodes dropped at the start of each week and / or listen daily to these readings from The Daily Stoic-- nuggets as I call them -- of wisdom passed along from Ryan Holiday. Stephen Hanselman and the ancient Greek Philosophers such as Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Seneca. I hope you will do both. I hope you will consider journaling along with me. I hope it provides some inspiration, even motivation to keep going, to how we do what we do, to why we do what we do in moving forward 'after'...I hope it is a tool that you (like me) might find useful in your life after loss by suicide.The following is an excerpt directly from the book -- they are not my words and are placed here as a sample to help you journal. The full book must be purchased to follow along all year. I am ONLY doing this in January (on the podcast).TODAYS READING January 13 - CIRCLE of CONTROLGet your own copy of The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday & Stephen Hanselman**“We control our reasoned choice and all acts that depend on that moral will. What’s not under our control are the body and any of its parts, our possessions, parents, siblings, children, or country—anything with which we might associate.” —EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 1.22.10 "This is important enough that it bears repeating: a wise person knows what’s inside their circle of control and what is outside of it. The good news is that it’s pretty easy to remember what is inside our control. According to the Stoics, the circle of control contains just one thing: YOUR MIND. That’s right, even your physical body isn’t completely within the circle. After all, you could be struck with a physical illness or impairment at any moment. You could be traveling in a foreign country and be thrown in jail. But this is all good news because it drastically reduces the amount of things that you need to think about. There is clarity in simplicity. While everyone else is running around with a list of responsibilities a mile long—things they’re not actually responsible for—you’ve got just that one-item list. You’ve got just one thing to manage: your choices, your will, your mind. So mind it." - all above quoted words from the credited to the authors**I hope you are considering journaling along with us in January__________________________________________________________________________Go to my WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" is support central.PS....The FIRST SESSION of the Legacy Writing Project in 2024 has finished & the last one is under way...GET ON THE LIST NOW for the SINGLE DATE start for 2025For a way to leave a Legacy of your child - GO HEREIf you, or someone you know, is struggling ww suicidal thoughts, reach out:CALL 988   OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USASupport the show

As a sort of "Re-Boot" for The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations podcast after taking the last 6 weeks of 2024 "off" I am choosing to 'start over' this way .... please listen weekly to Down the Rabbit Hole episodes dropped at the start of each week and / or listen daily to these readings from The Daily Stoic-- nuggets as I call them -- of wisdom passed along from Ryan Holiday. Stephen Hanselman and the ancient Greek Philosophers such as Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Seneca. I hope you will do both. I hope you will consider journaling along with me. I hope it provides some inspiration, even motivation to keep going, to how we do what we do, to why we do what we do in moving forward 'after'...I hope it is a tool that you (like me) might find useful in your life after loss by suicide.The following is an excerpt directly from the book -- they are not my words and are placed here as a sample to help you journal. The full book must be purchased to follow along all year. I am ONLY doing this in January (on the podcast).TODAYS READING January 12- THE ONE PATH TO SERENITYGet your own copy of The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday & Stephen Hanselman**“Keep this thought at the ready at daybreak, and through the day and night—there is only one path to happiness, and that is in giving up all outside of your sphere of choice, regarding nothing else as your possession, surrendering all else to God and Fortune.” —EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 4.4.39 "This morning, remind yourself of what is in your control and what’s not in your control. Remind yourself to focus on the former and not the latter. Before lunch, remind yourself that the only thing you truly possess is your ability to make choices (and to use reason and judgment when doing so). This is the only thing that can never be taken from you completely. In the afternoon, remind yourself that aside from the choices you make, your fate is not entirely up to you. The world is spinning and we spin along with it—whichever direction, good or bad. In the evening, remind yourself again how much is outside of your control and where your choices begin and end. As you lie in bed, remember that sleep is a form of surrender and trust and how easily it comes. And prepare to start the whole cycle over again tomorrow." - all above quoted words from the credited to the authors**I hope you are considering journaling along with us in January__________________________________________________________________________Go to my WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" is support central.PS....The FIRST SESSION of the Legacy Writing Project in 2024 has finished & the last one is under way...GET ON THE LIST NOW for the SINGLE DATE start for 2025For a way to leave a Legacy of your child - GO HEREIf you, or someone you know, is struggling ww suicidal thoughts, reach out:CALL 988   OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USASupport the show

As a sort of "Re-Boot" for The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations podcast after taking the last 6 weeks of 2024 "off" I am choosing to 'start over' this way .... please listen weekly to Down the Rabbit Hole episodes dropped at the start of each week and / or listen daily to these readings from The Daily Stoic-- nuggets as I call them -- of wisdom passed along from Ryan Holiday. Stephen Hanselman and the ancient Greek Philosophers such as Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Seneca. I hope you will do both. I hope you will consider journaling along with me. I hope it provides some inspiration, even motivation to keep going, to how we do what we do, to why we do what we do in moving forward 'after'...I hope it is a tool that you (like me) might find useful in your life after loss by suicide.The following is an excerpt directly from the book -- they are not my words and are placed here as a sample to help you journal. The full book must be purchased to follow along all year. I am ONLY doing this in January (on the podcast).TODAYS READING January 11 - IF YOU WANT TO BE UNSTEADYGet your own copy of The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday & Stephen Hanselman**“For if a person shifts their caution to their own reasoned choices and the acts of those choices, they will at the same time gain the will to avoid, but if they shift their caution away from their own reasoned choices to things not under their control, seeking to avoid what is controlled by others, they will then be agitated, fearful, and unstable.” —EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 2.1.12 "The image of the Zen philosopher is the monk up in the green, quiet hills, or in a beautiful temple on some rocky cliff. The Stoics are the antithesis of this idea. Instead, they are the man in the marketplace, the senator in the Forum, the brave wife waiting for her soldier to return from battle, the sculptor busy in her studio. Still, the Stoic is equally at peace. Epictetus is reminding you that serenity and stability are results of your choices and judgment, not your environment. If you seek to avoid all disruptions to tranquility—other people, external events, stress—you will never be successful. Your problems will follow you wherever you run and hide. But if you seek to avoid the harmful and disruptive judgments that cause those problems, then you will be stable and steady wherever you happen to be." - all above quoted words from the credited to the authors**I hope you are considering journaling along with us in January__________________________________________________________________________Go to my WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" is support central.PS....The FIRST SESSION of the Legacy Writing Project in 2024 has finished & the last one is under way...GET ON THE LIST NOW for the SINGLE DATE start for 2025For a way to leave a Legacy of your child - GO HEREIf you, or someone you know, is struggling ww suicidal thoughts, reach out:CALL 988   OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USASupport the show

As a sort of "Re-Boot" for The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations podcast after taking the last 6 weeks of 2024 "off" I am choosing to 'start over' this way .... please listen weekly to Down the Rabbit Hole episodes dropped at the start of each week and / or listen daily to these readings from The Daily Stoic-- nuggets as I call them -- of wisdom passed along from Ryan Holiday. Stephen Hanselman and the ancient Greek Philosophers such as Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Seneca. I hope you will do both. I hope you will consider journaling along with me. I hope it provides some inspiration, even motivation to keep going, to how we do what we do, to why we do what we do in moving forward 'after'...I hope it is a tool that you (like me) might find useful in your life after loss by suicide.The following is an excerpt directly from the book -- they are not my words and are placed here as a sample to help you journal. The full book must be purchased to follow along all year. I am ONLY doing this in January (on the podcast).TODAYS READING January10 - IF YOU WANT TO BE STEADYGet your own copy of The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday & Stephen Hanselman**“The essence of good is a certain kind of reasoned choice; just as the essence of evil is another kind. What about externals, then? They are only the raw material for our reasoned choice, which finds its own good or evil in working with them. How will it find the good? Not by marveling at the material! For if judgments about the material are straight that makes our choices good, but if those judgments are twisted, our choices turn bad.” —EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 1.29.1–3 "The Stoics seek steadiness, stability, and tranquility—traits most of us aspire to but seem to experience only fleetingly. How do they accomplish this elusive goal? How does one embody eustatheia (the word Arrian used to describe this teaching of Epictetus)? Well, it’s not luck. It’s not by eliminating outside influences or running away to quiet and solitude. Instead, it’s about filtering the outside world through the straightener of our judgment. That’s what our reason can do—it can take the crooked, confusing, and overwhelming nature of external events and make them orderly. However, if our judgments are crooked because we don’t use reason, then everything that follows will be crooked, and we will lose our ability to steady ourselves in the chaos and rush of life. If you want to be steady, if you want clarity, proper judgment is the best way." - all above quoted words from the credited to the authors**I hope you are considering journaling along with us in January__________________________________________________________________________Go to my WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" is support central.PS....The FIRST SESSION of the Legacy Writing Project in 2024 has finished & the last one is under way...GET ON THE LIST NOW for the SINGLE DATE start for 2025For a way to leave a Legacy of your child - GO HEREIf you, or someone you know, is struggling ww suicidal thoughts, reach out:CALL 988   OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USASupport the show

As a sort of "Re-Boot" for The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations podcast after taking the last 6 weeks of 2024 "off" I am choosing to 'start over' this way .... please listen weekly to Down the Rabbit Hole episodes dropped at the start of each week and / or listen daily to these readings from The Daily Stoic-- nuggets as I call them -- of wisdom passed along from Ryan Holiday. Stephen Hanselman and the ancient Greek Philosophers such as Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Seneca. I hope you will do both. I hope you will consider journaling along with me. I hope it provides some inspiration, even motivation to keep going, to how we do what we do, to why we do what we do in moving forward 'after'...I hope it is a tool that you (like me) might find useful in your life after loss by suicide.The following is an excerpt directly from the book -- they are not my words and are placed here as a sample to help you journal. The full book must be purchased to follow along all year. I am ONLY doing this in January (on the podcast).TODAYS READING January 9- WHAT WE CONTROL & WHAT WE DON'TGet your own copy of The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday & Stephen Hanselman**“Some things are in our control, while others are not. We control our opinion, choice, desire, aversion, and, in a word, everything of our own doing. We don’t control our body, property, reputation, position, and, in a word, everything not of our own doing. Even more, the things in our control are by nature free, unhindered, and unobstructed, while those not in our control are weak, slavish, can be hindered, and are not our own.” —EPICTETUS, ENCHIRIDION, 1.1–2 "Today, you won’t control the external events that happen. Is that scary? A little, but it’s balanced when we see that we can control our opinion about those events. You decide whether they’re good or bad, whether they’re fair or unfair. You don’t control the situation, but you control what you think about it. See how that works? Every single thing that is outside your control—the outside world, other people, luck, karma, whatever—still presents a corresponding area that is in your control. This alone gives us plenty to manage, plenty of power. Best of all, an honest understanding of what is within our control provides real clarity about the world: all we have is our own mind. Remember that today when you try to extend your reach outward—that it’s much better and more appropriately directed inward." - all above quoted words from the credited to the authors**I hope you are considering journaling along with us in January__________________________________________________________________________Go to my WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" is support central.PS....The FIRST SESSION of the Legacy Writing Project in 2024 has finished & the last one is under way...GET ON THE LIST NOW for the SINGLE DATE start for 2025For a way to leave a Legacy of your child - GO HEREIf you, or someone you know, is struggling ww suicidal thoughts, reach out:CALL 988   OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USASupport the showSupport the show

As a sort of "Re-Boot" for The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations podcast after taking the last 6 weeks of 2024 "off" I am choosing to 'start over' this way .... please listen weekly to Down the Rabbit Hole episodes dropped at the start of each week and / or listen daily to these readings from The Daily Stoic-- nuggets as I call them -- of wisdom passed along from Ryan Holiday. Stephen Hanselman and the ancient Greek Philosophers such as Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Seneca. I hope you will do both. I hope you will consider journaling along with me. I hope it provides some inspiration, even motivation to keep going, to how we do what we do, to why we do what we do in moving forward 'after'...I hope it is a tool that you (like me) might find useful in your life after loss by suicide.The following is an excerpt directly from the book -- they are not my words and are placed here as a sample to help you journal. The full book must be purchased to follow along all year. I am ONLY doing this in January (on the podcast).TODAYS READING January 8 - SEEING OUR ADDICTIONSGet your own copy of The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday & Stephen Hanselman**“We must give up many things to which we are addicted, considering them to be good. Otherwise, courage will vanish, which should continually test itself. Greatness of soul will be lost, which can’t stand out unless it disdains as petty what the mob regards as most desirable. —SENECA, MORAL LETTERS, 74.12b–13 "What we consider to be harmless indulgences can easily become full-blown addictions. We start with coffee in the morning, and soon enough we can’t start the day without it. We check our email because it’s part of our job, and soon enough we feel the phantom buzz of the phone in our pocket every few seconds. Soon enough, these harmless habits are running our lives. The little compulsions and drives we have not only chip away at our freedom and sovereignty, they cloud our clarity. We think we’re in control—but are we really? As one addict put it, addiction is when we’ve “lost the freedom to abstain.” Let us reclaim that freedom. What that addiction is for you can vary: Soda? Drugs? Complaining? Gossip? The Internet? Biting your nails? But you must reclaim the ability to abstain because within it is your clarity and self-control." - all above quoted words from the credited to the authors**I hope you are considering journaling along with us in January__________________________________________________________________________Go to my WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" is support central.PS....The FIRST SESSION of the Legacy Writing Project in 2024 has finished & the last one is under way...GET ON THE LIST NOW for the SINGLE DATE start for 2025For a way to leave a Legacy of your child - GO HEREIf you, or someone you know, is struggling ww suicidal thoughts, reach out:CALL 988   OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USASupport the showSupport the showSupport the show

As a sort of "Re-Boot" for The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations podcast after taking the last 6 weeks of 2024 "off" I am choosing to 'start over' this way .... please listen weekly to Down the Rabbit Hole episodes dropped at the start of each week and / or listen daily to these readings from The Daily Stoic-- nuggets as I call them -- of wisdom passed along from Ryan Holiday. Stephen Hanselman and the ancient Greek Philosophers such as Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Seneca. I hope you will do both. I hope you will consider journaling along with me. I hope it provides some inspiration, even motivation to keep going, to how we do what we do, to why we do what we do in moving forward 'after'...I hope it is a tool that you (like me) might find useful in your life after loss by suicide.The following is an excerpt directly from the book -- they are not my words and are placed here as a sample to help you journal. The full book must be purchased to follow along all year. I am ONLY doing this in January (on the podcast).TODAYS READING January 7- SEVEN CLEAR FUNCTIONS of THE MINDGet your own copy of The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday & Stephen Hanselman**“The proper work of the mind is the exercise of choice, refusal, yearning, repulsion, preparation, purpose, and assent. What then can pollute and clog the mind’s proper functioning? Nothing but its own corrupt decisions.” —EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 4.11.6–7 "Let’s break down each one of those tasks: Choice—to do and think right Refusal—of temptation Yearning—to be better Repulsion—of negativity, of bad influences, of what isn’t true Preparation—for what lies ahead or whatever may happen Purpose—our guiding principle and highest priority Assent—to be free of deception about what’s inside and outside our control (and be ready to accept the latter) This is what the mind is here to do. We must make sure that it does—and see everything else as pollution or a corruption." - all above quoted words from the credited to the authors**I hope you are considering journaling along with us in January__________________________________________________________________________Go to my WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" is support central.PS....The FIRST SESSION of the Legacy Writing Project in 2024 has finished & the last one is under way...GET ON THE LIST NOW for the SINGLE DATE start for 2025For a way to leave a Legacy of your child - GO HEREIf you, or someone you know, is struggling ww suicidal thoughts, reach out:CALL 988   OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USASupport the show<Support the show

As a sort of "Re-Boot" for The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations podcast after taking the last 6 weeks of 2024 "off" I am choosing to 'start over' this way .... please listen weekly to Down the Rabbit Hole episodes dropped at the start of each week and / or listen daily to these readings from The Daily Stoic-- nuggets as I call them -- of wisdom passed along from Ryan Holiday. Stephen Hanselman and the ancient Greek Philosophers such as Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Seneca. I hope you will do both. I hope you will consider journaling along with me. I hope it provides some inspiration, even motivation to keep going, to how we do what we do, to why we do what we do in moving forward 'after'...I hope it is a tool that you (like me) might find useful in your life after loss by suicide.The following is an excerpt directly from the book -- they are not my words and are placed here as a sample to help you journal. The full book must be purchased to follow along all year. I am ONLY doing this in January (on the podcast).TODAYS READING January 6 - WHERE, WHO, WHAT, AND WHYGet your own copy of The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday & Stephen Hanselman**“A person who doesn’t know what the universe is, doesn’t know where they are. A person who doesn’t know their purpose in life doesn’t know who they are or what the universe is. A person who doesn’t know any one of these things doesn’t know why they are here. So what to make of people who seek or avoid the praise of those who have no knowledge of where or who they are?” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 8.52 "The late comedian Mitch Hedberg had a funny story he told in his act. Sitting down for an on-air interview, a radio DJ asked him, “So, who are you?” In that moment, he had to think, Is this guy really deep or did I drive to the wrong station? How often are we asked a simple question like “Who are you?” or “What do you do?” or “Where are you from?” Considering it a superficial question—if we even consider it at all—we don’t bother with more than a superficial answer. But, gun to their head, most people couldn’t give much in the way of a substantive answer. Could you? Have you taken the time to get clarity about who you are and what you stand for? Or are you too busy chasing unimportant things, mimicking the wrong influences, and following disappointing or unfulfilling or nonexistent paths?" - all words from the credited authors**I hope you are considering journaling along with us in January__________________________________________________________________________Go to my WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" is support central.PS....The FIRST SESSION of the Legacy Writing Project in 2024 has finished & the last one is under way...GET ON THE LIST NOW for the SINGLE DATE start for 2025For a way to leave a Legacy of your child - GO HEREIf you, or someone you know, is struggling ww suicidal thoughts, reach out:CALL 988   OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USASupport the show<Support the show