Why Hard Work Isn’t Enough to Get Recognised at Work

One of the hardest parts of being a manager is accepting that some decisions will make people dislike you.This week on The Leader’s Lab, we’ve been talking about difficult conversations, especially when you have to let someone go. These are decisions that can affect someone’s career, financial security, and family. Even when a decision is necessary and handled fairly, you cannot expect the other person to agree with you or feel good about it.That’s why I chose The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga for this week’s Friday Books episode.The book is unlike most personal development books I’ve read. Inspired by the psychology of Alfred Adler, it’s written as a dialogue between a philosopher and a young man over five nights. Their conversations are challenging, occasionally confrontational and full of questions about approval, responsibility and our relationships with others.In this episode, I explore four ideas that I believe are particularly relevant to leadership: separating your responsibilities from other people’s reactions, understanding that discomfort doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve done something wrong, making difficult decisions without losing your humanity, and learning to accept disapproval.I’ll also discuss why trying to soften a difficult message can sometimes make things worse. When we become so concerned about being liked that we avoid saying what needs to be said, we risk replacing honesty with confusion.For me, the courage to be disliked isn’t about becoming indifferent to other people’s feelings. It’s about being able to act with fairness, clarity and compassion, even when you know the decision won’t be welcomed.I’d love to hear your perspective: Have you ever had to make a decision you knew someone would dislike, even though you believed it was the right one?Book of the week: The Courage to Be DislikedDon’t forget to follow Kristine for more insights, stories, and leadership inspiration: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find my book here ⁠⁠⁠Subscribe to The Leader’s Lab and leave a review to support the podcast and inspire the next generation of leaders.

Nobody enjoys firing someone. Yet, it’s one of the most difficult responsibilities that comes with managing people.Throughout my career in tech and leadership, I’ve seen how uncomfortable these conversations can be. Managers often delay difficult decisions because they feel guilty, want to avoid confrontation or simply don’t want to be responsible for delivering bad news.I understand that. Nobody wants to be the person who tells someone they’ve lost their job.However, avoiding the conversation doesn’t necessarily protect anyone. In many cases, it creates more uncertainty, frustration and disengagement for both the employee and the organisation.In this episode of The Leader’s Lab, I want to discuss one of the hardest management decisions: letting someone go.Why do companies decide to terminate employment? How do you distinguish between performance issues, organisational restructuring and a role that is no longer needed? Why do managers sometimes wait too long before making a decision? And how can you communicate something so difficult while still treating the person with respect and dignity?I’ll also discuss how economic pressures, changing business needs, and AI are reshaping roles, and why investing in employees’ development and upskilling should be part of the conversation.One thing I strongly believe is that clarity matters enormously in these situations.Losing your job is difficult enough. Not understanding why it happened can make the experience even more painful.When the decision is related to restructuring rather than individual performance, employees deserve to understand that distinction. When performance is the issue, the reasons should be communicated clearly rather than leaving someone questioning what went wrong.For me, leadership isn’t only about supporting people when things are going well. It’s also about taking responsibility when decisions become uncomfortable.You cannot always make a difficult decision feel good. You can, however, approach it with honesty, clarity and respect.🎙️ I’d love to hear your perspective: what’s the hardest conversation you’ve ever had to navigate as a manager?New episodes of The Leader’s Lab every Tuesday and Friday. Don’t forget to follow Kristine for more insights, stories, and leadership inspiration: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Also, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠find my book here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to The Leader’s Lab and leave a review to support the podcast and inspire the next generation of leaders.

A few years ago, I took two weeks of holiday. When I came back, I discovered that my entire sales team hadn’t closed a single deal while I was away.Before my holiday, we’d been performing well. The team was growing, we were navigating changes together, and our results were strong. Yet the moment I stepped away, everything seemed to stop.When I discussed it with my manager, he told me something that completely changed my approach to leadership: perhaps I was too present, and my team had become too dependent on me.In this week’s Friday Books episode of The Leader’s Lab, I’m discussing The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni, and why I believe it’s particularly relevant to our conversation earlier this week about the difference between being a manager and being a leader.The book explores five dysfunctions that prevent teams from working effectively: absence of trust, fear of conflict, lack of commitment, avoidance of accountability and inattention to results.How do you build a team that can function successfully without your constant involvement?Why is trust between team members just as important as trust in their leader?And how do you create an environment where people can challenge each other, disagree openly and have difficult conversations without damaging their relationships?I’ll share how that experience with my sales team changed the way I approached leadership, why I’ve always encouraged direct and honest conversations at work, and what I think separates a polite team from a genuinely trusting one.For me, one of the most important responsibilities of a leader is to develop people who can make decisions, take ownership and achieve results without constantly depending on you.Because the real measure of your leadership isn’t how much your team needs you when you’re there. It’s how well they can function when you’re not.🎙️ I’d love to hear your perspective: could your team function just as effectively if its manager took two weeks off tomorrow?Book of the week: The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni.Don’t forget to follow Kristine for more insights, stories, and leadership inspiration: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find my book here ⁠⁠Subscribe to The Leader’s Lab and leave a review to support the podcast and inspire the next generation of leaders.

A company can appoint you as a manager, but it cannot make people trust you, believe in your vision or want to follow your leadership.Since I started speaking about leadership, I’ve noticed how often people assume that being a leader automatically means managing a team. From my perspective, these are two very different things.I’ve met excellent managers who were also inspiring leaders. I’ve also encountered managers who struggled to earn people’s trust, and remarkable leaders who didn’t manage anyone but still had an incredible influence on those around them.In this episode of The Leader’s Lab, I want to explore something I strongly believe in after more than 20 years in tech and leadership: leadership isn’t defined by your job title, but by the trust, direction and meaning you create for others.What is the real difference between managing people and leading them?Can you be an effective leader without having anyone reporting to you?And what makes people genuinely want to follow someone’s vision, rather than simply follow their instructions?We’ll look at the responsibilities that come with management, from setting priorities and managing resources to overseeing performance, and the skills that make someone a leader: building trust, creating clarity, encouraging accountability, developing people and helping them understand why their work matters.For me, leadership has never been about having authority over others.It’s about sharing knowledge, giving people direction, supporting their development and creating an environment where they feel motivated to contribute to something meaningful.Because a management title gives you responsibility.Leadership is something you earn through the way you treat, inspire and influence people.🎙️ I’d love to hear your perspective: have you ever worked with someone who was an incredible leader without actually being your manager?New episodes of The Leader’s Lab every Tuesday and Friday. Don’t forget to follow Kristine for more insights, stories, and leadership inspiration: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Also, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠find my book here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to The Leader’s Lab and leave a review to support the podcast and inspire the next generation of leaders.

Is charisma something you’re born with, or something you can actually learn?We often think of charismatic people as naturally confident, influential and comfortable in any room. But what if charisma is a skill we can develop, just like any other?In this week’s Friday Books episode of The Leader’s Lab, I’m exploring The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane and how its ideas connect with our recent conversation about making your work and professional impact more visible.After more than 20 years in tech and leadership, I’ve learned that visibility isn’t simply about speaking more or making sure everyone knows what you’ve accomplished. It’s also about how you communicate, how present you are in conversations and whether people understand and trust the value you bring.In this episode, I share some of the ideas that stood out to me from the book: the importance of presence, warmth and authority, learning to communicate without over-explaining, speaking up at the right moment in meetings and becoming comfortable with silence.I also reflect on my own experience with multitasking, the temptation to explain too much and the effort it takes to remain genuinely present, even after years of managing people.For me, the most interesting takeaway is that charisma doesn’t have to be about becoming the loudest or most impressive person in the room. It’s about developing the kind of presence that makes your contribution easier to understand, your communication more effective and your relationships stronger.🎙️ I’d love to hear your thoughts: do you believe charisma is something we’re born with, or something we can learn?Book of the week: The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism by Olivia Fox Cabane.Don’t forget to follow Kristine for more insights, stories, and leadership inspiration: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find my book here ⁠Subscribe to The Leader’s Lab and leave a review to support the podcast and inspire the next generation of leaders.

You can deliver excellent work for years and still be overlooked if nobody understands the value you’ve created.I think one of the biggest career misconceptions is believing that good work will automatically speak for itself. We expect our managers to notice our achievements, recognise our contributions and make sure the right people know what we’ve accomplished.Sometimes they do. But the quality of your work alone doesn’t guarantee visibility or recognition.In this episode of The Leader’s Lab, I want to talk about something I’ve learned throughout my 20+ years in tech and leadership: communicating your impact is just as important as creating it.How do you make your achievements visible without feeling like you’re bragging? How do you build a reputation as an expert within your organisation? And why is sharing your experience with colleagues, especially those who are earlier in their careers, such an important part of professional growth?I’ll also share a personal example from organising a major leadership event with my team, including the challenges we faced, what we learned along the way and why I believe it’s important to talk openly about both our successes and the work behind them.For me, communicating your achievements has never been just about personal recognition. It’s also about sharing knowledge, helping others learn from your experience and creating opportunities for collaboration.Because your work doesn’t speak for itself. You need to help people understand the impact it makes.🎙️ I’d love to hear your perspective: do you feel comfortable talking about your achievements at work, or is it something you still struggle with?New episodes of The Leader’s Lab every Tuesday and Friday. Don’t forget to follow Kristine for more insights, stories, and leadership inspiration: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Also ⁠⁠⁠⁠find my book here⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to The Leader’s Lab and leave a review to support the podcast and inspire the next generation of leaders.

Your first 100 days in a new role are about much more than demonstrating your skills. They’re also about the relationships you build, the trust you establish and the way people experience working with you.In this week’s Friday Books episode of The Leader’s Lab, I’m exploring Captivate by Vanessa Van Edwards and how its insights into human behaviour, communication and first impressions connect with our recent conversation about the first 100 days in a new job.When you join a company, you’re entering an environment where people already have established relationships, expectations and ways of working. Understanding those dynamics before trying to influence them can make an enormous difference.We explore how curiosity can become a professional advantage, why learning to read the room matters, and how to balance warmth with competence without turning every interaction into a performance.Being liked is valuable, but being trusted, respected, and recognised for your contribution helps you build lasting professional relationships.The goal of your first 100 days isn’t to become unforgettable. It’s to become someone people can rely on, someone who understands the culture, and someone whose skills genuinely contribute to the team's success.Book of the week: Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People by Vanessa Van Edwards.Don’t forget to follow Kristine for more insights, stories, and leadership inspiration: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find my book here Subscribe to The Leader’s Lab and leave a review to support the podcast and inspire the next generation of leaders.

Your first 100 days in a new role can shape your reputation, your relationships, and your future in the company. Yet so many professionals make the same mistake: they arrive determined to prove how much they know before taking the time to understand where they’ve landed.In this episode of The Leader’s Lab, Kristine Naltchadjian shares what she’s learned from more than 20 years in tech and leadership about navigating those crucial first months, whether you’re stepping into your first management position, joining a new team, or taking on a senior leadership role.Drawing on her own experience of joining a company to lead a major cultural transformation, Kristine explains why understanding expectations, building internal trust, and defining what success actually looks like should come before making big changes.She also introduces a practical framework for approaching your first 100 days:Days 1–30: Learn. Listen, ask questions, meet people, and understand the business, its culture, and the dynamics of your new team.Days 31–60: Contribute. Start delivering small, meaningful wins while continuing to build relationships and credibility.Days 61–100: Position yourself. Develop your strategy, clarify your priorities, and establish how you’ll contribute to the organisation’s long-term success.Along the way, Kristine discusses the mistakes that can damage your reputation early on, from trying too hard to impress to constantly comparing your new workplace with your previous company.Whether you’re preparing for a new opportunity or have recently started a role, this episode will help you approach your first 100 days with greater clarity, confidence, and intention.🎧 Listen to the latest episode of The Leader’s Lab and discover how to make your first 100 days count.New episodes of The Leader’s Lab every Tuesday and Friday. Don’t forget to follow Kristine for more insights, stories, and leadership inspiration: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Also ⁠⁠⁠find my book here⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to The Leader’s Lab and leave a review to support the podcast and inspire the next generation of leaders.

What matters more when building a team: the skills someone already has or their willingness to learn and grow?Welcome to Friday Books, our weekly series on The Leader’s Lab, where I share books that have influenced the way I think about leadership, management, personal growth and understanding people.This week, we’re exploring Mindset by Carol S. Dweck, a book that I believe offers an important perspective on how we approach challenges, learning and success.In my recent episode about hiring, I shared why I look at personality and growth mindset before evaluating someone’s skills. Today, I want to explore that idea further through Carol Dweck’s work.We’ll look at the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset, how our beliefs influence the way we respond to feedback and failure, and why understanding these patterns matters when we manage people and develop our own careers.After more than 20 years in tech and management, I’ve come to appreciate how important it is to recognise someone’s potential to develop alongside the experience they already bring.I hope this episode encourages you to reflect on your own mindset and how it influences the decisions you make, both professionally and personally.Book of the week: Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck.Don’t forget to follow Kristine for more insights, stories, and leadership inspiration: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Also ⁠⁠⁠find my book here⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to The Leader’s Lab and leave a review to support the podcast and inspire the next generation of leaders.

Hiring the right person is one of the most important decisions we make as managers, and having the right skills on paper doesn’t necessarily mean someone is the right fit for your team.When I hire for my teams, I look at personality and growth mindset first, then at skills. Of course, experience and expertise matter, but over the years I’ve learned that how someone thinks, learns, responds to challenges and works with others can tell you much more about how they will grow within a team.In this episode of The Leader’s Lab, I’m sharing how I approach hiring after more than 20 years in tech and management. We’ll talk about why hiring can be so long and complex, what I look for beyond the CV, how panel interviews can help, and why I still believe business cases can reveal what a great interview can't.I’ll also share some of my own experiences with candidates who looked perfect on paper and performed brilliantly in interviews, only for the business case to completely change my perspective.There is no perfect formula for hiring. For me, the real question is not simply, “Is this person talented?” It’s “Is this the right talent for this team?”New episodes of The Leader’s Lab every Tuesday and Friday. Don’t forget to follow Kristine for more insights, stories, and leadership inspiration: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Also ⁠⁠find my book here⁠⁠ Subscribe to The Leader’s Lab and leave a review to support the podcast and inspire the next generation of leaders.