I’m Still Hurting. I’m Still Trying. I’m Still Here.

Have a question or something to share? Send Julie and Carley a message.For nearly two decades, Lyndsey Hackford lived in a marriage marked by manipulation, control, and escalating abuse. She shares terrifying moments from that marriage, including being strangled, threatened with a gun, and fearing for her children's safety.In this deeply personal conversation, Lyndsey joins Julie and Carley to talk about the warning signs she didn't recognize, the role faith and religious expectations played in her decisions, and the painful realities of navigating the family court system after abuse.Today, Lyndsey has found her voice, remarried, built a loving family, and uses her experience to advocate for survivors and educate others about domestic violence.This episode is a powerful reminder that surviving is only part of the story. There can be love, purpose, and a beautiful life on the other side.Content warning: This episode includes discussions of domestic violence, strangulation, threats involving firearms, and sexual coercion.instagram: @lyndseyh6723podcast: @living.inthe.aftermathSupport the show

Have a question or something to share? Send Julie and Carley a message.Julie and Carley talk about what it means to keep going when life still hurts. Between raising eight children, recovering from surgery, and building a business, Julie is trying to move forward while grieving the life she expected.Together, they reflect on waiting for answers, finding purpose in difficult days, and how their faith in Jesus Christ helps them continue. An honest conversation about still hurting, still trying, and trusting there is more ahead, even when you can’t see it yet.Support the show

Have a question or something to share? Send Julie and Carley a message.I thought the hardest part was behind me after emergency hernia surgery. Then a stubborn calf cramp and another trip to the ER led to something I wasn’t expecting: multiple pulmonary embolisms—blood clots in my lungs.This week, Carley and I unpack the diagnosis, the push I needed to get checked, and the reality of recovering while raising eight kids. And yes, we get into the very unglamorous side of blood thinners. Apparently, nothing is off-limits around here.But this conversation goes deeper than a medical update. We talk about the struggles people can’t see, why vulnerability builds real friendships, and learning to let people help. There’s grief, gratitude, faith, and plenty of laughter in the middle of the mess.If you’ve been carrying something heavy and telling everyone you’re fine, this episode is for you. You don’t have to carry it alone.Support the show

Have a question or something to share? Send Julie and Carley a message.In this raw, real-life episode, Julie tells Carley how what she thought was a kidney stone turned into an emergency hernia repair. She shares the pain that sent her to the ER, the surprise diagnosis, surgery and recovery—and the moment her kids stepped in to get her help.The conversation goes beyond the hospital: motherhood’s toll on the body, the guilt we can carry about our choices, the friends and community who show up, and what it means to finally slow down and let people care for you.Thanks for listening to Gritty Mamas. If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share it with a friend.Support the show

Have a question or something to share? Send Julie and Carley a message.I just got home from Scotland and Ireland—and somehow, being surrounded by some of the most beautiful places in the world gave me a whole lot of time to think.Maybe too much time.Watching my siblings walk hand-in-hand with their spouses, making memories together, brought me right back to a trip four years ago when my marriage had just fallen apart. I remembered how desperately I prayed for things to change, how hard I tried to save my family, and how convinced I was that if I just had enough faith, everything would somehow work out.This week, Carley and I talk about what happens when life doesn't turn out the way you prayed it would.We talk about faith and agency, divorce, resentment, crushing debt, single motherhood, the mental load of raising eight kids, and that awful feeling that everyone else is moving forward while you're still trying to dig yourself out.We also talk about something I desperately needed to hear: maybe I'm not as far behind as I think I am.Sometimes a vacation doesn't fix anything. You come home and the laundry, bills, responsibilities, grief and uncertainty are still waiting for you. But so is everything you've already survived—and everything you've already built.If you've ever looked at your life and thought, “I should be further along by now,” this episode is for you.❤️ Julie & CarleyGritty MamasSupport the show

Have a question or something to share? Send Julie and Carley a message.After more than a year of harassment, stalking, threats, racial slurs, police calls, arrests and violations of a civil stalking injunction, we finally got news I wasn't expecting: criminal charges have been filed.In this episode of Gritty Mamas, Carley and I talk about the moment I learned my neighbor was facing 19 stalking counts with hate-crime enhancements and a no-bail warrant—and then learned that he had apparently left before police could arrest him. But this conversation becomes about something much bigger: what it feels like when you don't feel safe in your own home, why victims can become frustrated with systems that are supposed to protect them, and the complicated line between believing victims and preserving innocent-until-proven-guilty. We also talk about motherhood, family court, resentment, and trying not to let everything you've been through change the way you see the world. This one is messy, personal, and very real.Support the show

Have a question or something to share? Send Julie and Carley a message.Eleven people, Disneyland, an eight-day cruise, endless sibling fighting—and one child lost within the first ten minutes. 😅In this episode, I’m home just long enough to tell Carly all about our once-in-a-lifetime family trip before leaving again for Scotland and Ireland. We talk about the joy of watching my kids experience Disney, Mexico, snorkeling, karaoke and cruise life for the first time—and the exhausting reality of parenting eight children in a different place.But this conversation becomes about much more than a vacation. We talk about carrying the mental load alone, the frustration of being misunderstood, difficult co-parenting dynamics, and why I refuse to stay silent about the realities so many women are living through.I’m still in the mud too. I’m still figuring it out. But if sharing the hard parts helps another woman feel less alone, then I’m going to keep talking about them—right alongside the miracles, the unexpected helpers and the compensatory blessings.If you’ve ever felt like everything rests on your shoulders, this episode is for you.Subscribe to Gritty Mamas and tell us in the comments: Have you ever needed a vacation after your “vacation”?Support the show

Have a question or something to share? Send Julie and Carley a message.After years of fighting, I finally got so much of what I had been fighting for. The agreement is signed. The chapter should feel like it's closing.So why don't I feel free?In this episode, Carley and I talk about what happens when you've spent so long in survival mode that you don't quite know who you are without the fight. We talk about motherhood, identity, sacrifice, the value of women, rebuilding after years of stress, and why getting to the other side doesn't automatically mean your nervous system knows you're safe there yet.We also get into the complicated conversation around women finding their strength without diminishing men, raising sons and daughters who understand their worth, and remembering that motherhood isn't a consolation prize or something that keeps us from doing something meaningful with our lives. It is meaningful. If you've ever thought, “I made it through… so why don't I feel better?” this one is for you.Gritty Mamas — because sometimes the hardest part isn't surviving. It's figuring out who you are afterward.Support the show

Have a question or something to share? Send Julie and Carley a message.What if the seasons that feel the most scattered are actually taking you somewhere?This week, Julie and Carley talk about what it feels like to be constantly striving, trying, pivoting—and wondering whether any of it is actually working. From content creation and dog sitting to digital real estate and Julie’s newest venture, GRITROCK: The Agency, Julie opens up about the frustration of feeling like she’s bounced from one thing to another just trying to build a life that works.But maybe none of it was wasted.They talk about productivity and self-worth, the pressure to always be doing more, the difference between real confidence and simply telling yourself you’re amazing, and why sometimes the only way to discover what you're capable of is to do something really hard. Julie also shares why “just forgive and move on” isn't always as simple as it sounds when the consequences of what happened are still affecting your everyday life.And, finally, there’s a long-awaited update: an agreement has been signed. Julie shares a little about what that means for her family and why this may finally mark the beginning of a new chapter.Sometimes you can't see the path while you're walking it. Sometimes all you can do is take the next step and trust that someday you'll look back and realize—none of it was wasted.Support the show

Have a question or something to share? Send Julie and Carley a message.Starting over sounds empowering… until you actually have to figure out how to pay the bills.This week, Carley and I talk about what it really looks like to rebuild a life when you have people depending on you, expenses that don't stop, and no clear roadmap for what comes next.I've spent the last few years trying everything I could think of to make it work — content, dog sitting, digital real estate, lead generation, affiliate work — and lately I've been asking myself a different question:What if none of it was wasted?What if every weird job, failed idea, new skill and unexpected detour was actually teaching me something I needed for the next thing?We talk about my newest business idea, the skills I'm finally realizing I DO have, raising kids who are getting more expensive by the minute, the pressure to “just get a job,” young marriage, stay-at-home girlfriend culture, youth sports, motherhood, and the reality of trying to build something while life keeps happening around you.I still don't know exactly where I'm going.But maybe I'm getting closer.💬 Tell me in the comments: Have you ever had to completely reinvent yourself? What did you do?Subscribe for more conversations about motherhood, rebuilding, resilience, and figuring out who you are when life doesn't go according to plan.Support the show