Episode 178: Struggling With Indecision & How to Build Self Trust

Send us a textWhen you’ve lived through emotional abuse, the very idea of a healthy, loving relationship can feel like a fantasy. Maybe you’ve never experienced respect, true friendship, or kindness in a partner. Maybe you’ve been told—through words or through wounds—that love is supposed to be hard, painful, or disappointing. And maybe you secretly believe that happy marriages are reserved for other people, not for you.That’s exactly why I invited Michelle W. Lentz, author of Hey Beginner Wife, onto the podcast. In our conversation, Michelle shares how seeing herself as a “beginner” allowed her to give herself grace as a wife and grow into a marriage built on nearly four decades of trust, respect, and friendship. Together, we unpack what these qualities really look like in a healthy marriage—and how they stand in sharp contrast to the confusion and chaos of abuse.This episode isn’t about sugarcoating relationships. It’s about hope. It’s about proof that love rooted in respect and safety is real, and it’s possible—even if you’ve never known it before. And Michelle leaves us with a special nugget of truth at the end that I know will stay with you long after the episode is over.If you’ve ever felt jaded, broken, or too damaged to hope again, this conversation is your reminder: the kind of love you long for does exist—and you are worthy of it.  Michelle Lentz graduated from UCLA with a degree in English Literature. Using her happy marriage of nearly 40 years as an example, she writes to inspire women to learn from her mistakes, love their husbands well and enjoy marriage. When she's not cheering on her husband Steve, their six grown children and a growing troop of delightful grandchildren, she's curled up with a good book, pursuing a deep conversation, or looking forward to the next wedding so she can hit the dance floor. You can also find her on Instagram at @heybeginnerwife.Support the showTo learn more about my Programs visit the websitewww.radiatenrise.com Email: [email protected] 30 Min Root Cause Call Join Radiate and Rise Together - Survivor Healing Community for Women To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebookhttps://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/*Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

Send us a textOctober is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and in this episode of Be A Better You Podcast, Allison K. Dagney—survivor, author, and subconscious reprogramming expert—pulls back the curtain on 3 key ways emotional abuse presents itself.Emotional abuse isn’t always screaming, yelling, or physical violence. More often, it shows up as gaslighting, coercive control, minimization, and subtle psychological manipulation that makes you question your worth, your memory, and even your sanity.In this conversation, Allison shares:Three key signs of emotional abuse most people overlook and get twistedHow abuse impacts your nervous system and keeps you stuck in self-doubt and ruminationWhy survivors often feel “too sensitive” or “crazy”—and how that’s a symptom of abuse, not a character flawFirst steps you can take to recognize red flags and start reclaiming your powerWhether you’re trying to understand your own relationship, support a loved one, or simply learn more during Domestic Violence Awareness Month, this episode will help you see emotional abuse for what it really is—and remind you that you’re not broken, you’ve been abused.👉 Don’t forget: when you leave a review for this podcast, screenshot it, and tag Allison on social media, you’ll receive her I’m Worthy Immersion Program completely free. This self-paced course will help you reprogram old beliefs, rebuild your sense of worth, and take the next step in your healing journey.Support the showTo learn more about my Programs visit the websitewww.radiatenrise.com Email: [email protected] 30 Min Root Cause Call Join Radiate and Rise Together - Survivor Healing Community for Women To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebookhttps://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/*Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

Send us a textGoing through a high-conflict divorce can feel overwhelming, isolating, and downright scary. In this rapid-fire episode of Be A Better You Podcast, host Allison K. Dagney sits down with Certified Divorce Coach Chantal Contorines to answer the toughest questions women face when divorcing a high-conflict personality.You’ll learn:How to recognize high-conflict behaviors and protect yourselfThe biggest mistakes to avoid in communication and co-parentingWhy documentation and boundaries are your survival toolsHow to respond when your ex refuses to follow your boundariesHow to move from barely surviving to thriving after divorceIf you’re navigating divorce with a difficult or abusive ex, this episode will give you fast, trauma-informed strategies to stay grounded, protect your peace, and reclaim your power.You can find Chantal here: Email: [email protected]: www.chantalcontorinescoaching.comIG: @chantal.contorines.coachingSupport the showTo learn more about my Programs visit the websitewww.radiatenrise.com Email: [email protected] 30 Min Root Cause Call Join Radiate and Rise Together - Survivor Healing Community for Women To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebookhttps://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/*Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

Send us a textDo you feel guilty for being angry about what happened to you? Survivors of emotional abuse are often told to “forgive and forget,” or they fear that expressing anger will make them just like their abuser. But here’s the truth: your anger is not only valid—it’s necessary for healing.In this episode of Be A Better You Podcast, host and subconscious reprogramming expert Allison K. Dagney explains why anger is a healthy, protective emotion and not a sign of being “stuck.” You’ll learn the difference between abusive rage and survivor’s anger, why suppressed anger often turns into anxiety or depression, and how to release that energy in safe, empowering ways.Allison shares trauma-informed insights, relatable examples, and practical tools for anger release, including rage rooms, sports, smashing pillows, screaming into a pillow, and even writing-and-destroying exercises. You’ll walk away with permission to feel your anger and practical outlets to move it through your body.If you’ve ever searched for: how to let out anger after abuse, healthy ways to release anger, why am I still so angry, or how to process rage in healing, this episode will give you the validation and tools you need.Support the showTo learn more about my Programs visit the websitewww.radiatenrise.com Email: [email protected] 30 Min Root Cause Call Join Radiate and Rise Together - Survivor Healing Community for Women To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebookhttps://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/*Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

Send us a textDo you beat yourself up with the thought, “I should’ve left sooner”? Survivors of emotional abuse often live with deep regret, believing they wasted years or failed themselves and their children by staying too long. But here’s the truth: you couldn’t have left any earlier—because your brain and nervous system were working to keep you alive.In this episode of Be A Better You Podcast, host and subconscious reprogramming expert Allison K. Dagney explains the real science behind why leaving abuse is so hard. You’ll learn how survival responses like freeze and fawn keep you feeling stuck, how trauma bonding rewires the brain with powerful chemical loops of fear and relief, and why your nervous system literally made it feel impossible to leave before you did.Through relatable examples and trauma-informed insights, Allison shows you how to reframe this painful belief and honor the strength it took to leave when you finally could. Instead of seeing wasted years, you’ll learn to see survival, resilience, and wisdom.If you’ve ever searched: why didn’t I leave sooner, why I stayed in an abusive relationship, how to forgive myself for staying, why leaving abuse is so hard, or stuck in trauma bond, this episode will give you clarity and peace.Support the showTo learn more about my Programs visit the websitewww.radiatenrise.com Email: [email protected] 30 Min Root Cause Call Join Radiate and Rise Together - Survivor Healing Community for Women To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebookhttps://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/*Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

Send us a textDo you replay your past and think, “I should’ve known better”? Survivors of emotional abuse often torture themselves with regret, believing they failed by not recognizing the truth sooner. But here’s the reality: you couldn’t have known better at the time—because abuse clouds judgment, rewires the brain, and makes survival feel safer than clarity.In this episode of Be A Better You Podcast, host and subconscious reprogramming expert Allison K. Dagney explains why survivors carry the heavy burden of “I should’ve known better,” and why that belief is deeply unfair. You’ll learn how your brain and nervous system protect you in abusive situations, why trauma bonding and manipulation make “knowing better” impossible in the moment, and how to finally release the guilt that keeps you stuck.Through relatable examples, trauma-informed insights, and powerful reframes, you’ll discover how to replace shame with compassion—and see your survival not as a failure, but as proof of your strength.If you’ve ever searched for: why didn’t I know he was abusive, how to forgive myself for staying, how to stop blaming myself after abuse, or why I ignored the red flags, this episode will bring you the relief and perspective you need.Support the showTo learn more about my Programs visit the websitewww.radiatenrise.com Email: [email protected] 30 Min Root Cause Call Join Radiate and Rise Together - Survivor Healing Community for Women To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebookhttps://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/*Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

Send us a textDo you ever catch yourself thinking, “I should’ve seen the signs of abuse”? If you’ve been replaying your past and blaming yourself for not noticing the red flags, this episode will bring you relief and clarity. The truth is, you couldn’t have known—because abusers hide the warning signs on purpose.In this episode of Be A Better You Podcast, host and subconscious reprogramming expert Allison K. Dagney explains why survivors of emotional abuse aren’t meant to spot the red flags early, how abusers use love bombing and manipulation to keep you from recognizing the truth, and why your kindness, trust, and hope are not flaws—they were exploited.You’ll hear trauma-informed insights, relatable real-life examples, and powerful mindset shifts to help you release the shame and stop asking yourself “why didn’t I know better?” Instead, you’ll learn how to reframe the belief that you missed the signs and start rebuilding trust in yourself.If you’ve ever Googled: how to stop blaming myself for abuse, why I didn’t see the red flags, signs of emotional abuse I missed, why I stayed so long, or he seemed so perfect at first, this episode is for you.Support the showTo learn more about my Programs visit the websitewww.radiatenrise.com Email: [email protected] 30 Min Root Cause Call Join Radiate and Rise Together - Survivor Healing Community for Women To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebookhttps://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/*Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

Send us a textStruggling to make decisions after emotional abuse? You’re not alone. Survivors often face crippling self-doubt, fear of making the “wrong” choice, and the exhausting cycle of second-guessing themselves. In this episode of Be A Better You Podcast, host and subconscious reprogramming expert Allison K. Dagney explains why survivors get stuck in indecision, how abuse wires the brain to fear choice, and the exact steps you can take to rebuild self-trust.You’ll hear real client and listener stories about tough choices—like whether to store or toss belongings during a big move, or what to do with an ex’s things—and the powerful lessons hidden inside. Allison also shares practical decision-making tools and reflective questions that help you move past fear, get unstuck, and finally feel confident in your own choices.If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why can’t I just decide?” this episode will show you the truth: you are not broken, you’re conditioned—and you can rewire that conditioning starting today.Support the showTo learn more about my Programs visit the websitewww.radiatenrise.com Email: [email protected] 30 Min Root Cause Call Join Radiate and Rise Together - Survivor Healing Community for Women To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebookhttps://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/*Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

Send us a textToday's episode gives you a quick hack towards Self Love! If you've struggled with showing or feeling love for yourself, this trick can help you. It uses a fun visualization exercise you can do anywhere anytime to help strengthen your brain towards feeling love toward yourself. Let me know what you think after you try it out!To learn more about how to put self-love into practice, check out the I'm Worthy Immersion Program + Voxer Support for only $222.00! You will get 7 self paced online trainings to help you really immerse yourself in self love AND Voxer access, a direct line to voice and text chat with me me for a full month (ask questions and get support). This is a great deal because the course alone is $197.00 and Monthly Voxer Support alone is $200! Bundled this way, you're saving over 175.00!!! Check it out here: https://www.radiatenrise.com/offers/RE9MymVs/checkoutSupport the showTo learn more about my Programs visit the websitewww.radiatenrise.com Email: [email protected] 30 Min Root Cause Call Join Radiate and Rise Together - Survivor Healing Community for Women To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebookhttps://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/*Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

Send us a textAre you working so hard to heal but still feel stuck in the same painful cycles? In this episode of Be A Better You Podcast, Allison breaks down why nothing changes when you’re “trying so hard.” You’ll learn why affirmations, journaling, and willpower don’t fix the root cause, and how your subconscious mind is wired to repeat old patterns — making you feel defeated, broken, or like you’ll never move forward. Allison shares real examples of the beliefs that keep women trapped after emotional abuse and explains how to finally reprogram your brain so healing feels easier. If you’re tired of overthinking, rumination, and self-doubt, this conversation will give you hope and practical steps to break free.Support the showTo learn more about my Programs visit the websitewww.radiatenrise.com Email: [email protected] 30 Min Root Cause Call Join Radiate and Rise Together - Survivor Healing Community for Women To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebookhttps://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/*Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)