Can You Write to Your Ex’s Lawyer? Family Law Tips for Self-Represented People

Listen to this Episode If You: 💔 Feel like the divorce process is dragging on and you’re running on empty ⚖️ Need legal strategies to slow things down without giving up entirely 🛡️ Want practical ways to protect your emotional energy 👶 Are trying to stay strong for your children while navigating court or mediation 💬 Need a pep talk (with a legal twist) to help you keep going If you’ve ever thought, “I just can’t do this anymore” during your separation or divorce, this episode is for you. Laura and Lyn share a heartfelt mix of practical legal steps and emotional strategies to help you through the moments when giving up feels like the easiest option. From taking baby steps and giving yourself permission to pause, to understanding how far you’ve already come, this is part pep talk, part legal guide — designed to help you push forward with clarity and confidence. They also cover how to handle deadlines from aggressive lawyers, the value of aligning your actions with your values, and why you’re probably doing far better than you think (even if it doesn’t feel like it right now). 📌 Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence and post-separation abuse.   ⏱️ Episode Timeline – What We Discuss: [0:00] – Feeling like giving up? Here’s why your future (and your kids) need you to keep going [2:00] – Five strategies to help you keep moving forward in divorce [4:00] – Strategy #1:  [7:00] – Strategy #2: [9:00] – Legal ways to request more time in your case [11:00] – Recognising pressure tactics designed to make you quit [12:00] – Strategy #3: [14:00] – Why timelines help you see progress and keep motivated [15:00] – Strategy #4:  [18:00] – Remembering why you’re doing this — for your kids and your future [19:00] – Strategy #5:  [27:00] – Handling post-separation abuse without giving up [30:00] – Setting boundaries to protect yourself from relentless contact [33:00] – Recap of the five key strategies [34:00] – Download your free “Don’t Give Up” worksheet [36:00] – Final encouragement to keep going — it will end   🔑 Key Takeaways: Small, consistent actions are better than trying to fix everything at once Pausing isn’t quitting — it’s a strategy for survival Remind yourself of your past wins to boost confidence Stay aligned with your values and instincts to avoid regret Progress is happening, even when you can’t see it 🎙 Related Episodes: When everything is spinning out of control in your divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/4f4ArIZ83EX2faBqvf4jZs?si=WQJlsOw5RAWIOGQ1PYEMCA BATNA in Divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/32goMT4kUIbZlS4NBSAvQu?si=NGX19wQ0RCCFMzvBiSXLTA When your mediation goes wrong what to do next? https://open.spotify.com/episode/32goMT4kUIbZlS4NBSAvQu?si=NGX19wQ0RCCFMzvBiSXLTA 10 essential boundaries for divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/0ecDTxw4rTc3zXBkcjuYpA?si=Ym0pV1ThQxWwDFH3SldYkg  📌 Legal Disclaimer: This is a general discussion and not legal advice. Please see a qualified lawyer for advice specific to your situation.  

Listen to This Episode If You… 🔍 Are heading into mediation and want to feel prepared, not panicked ⚖️ Want to make smart decisions about property and parenting outcomes 🧠 Have heard of BATNA but don’t quite know what it means or how to use it 🚪 Are unsure what your “walk-away” option looks like in negotiations 💬 Feel pressured to agree to something that doesn’t feel fair or safe 🧾 Want to understand your options without relying solely on court 🛠️ Are looking for practical, tips to empower your next steps 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is general information only and is not legal advice. Always seek professional legal support for your specific situation. 📌 Trigger warning: discussions of family court and family violence.  Are you heading into mediation or negotiating a divorce agreement? This episode is your practical guide to understanding BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement) and WATNA (Worst Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement)—two essential tools to protect your future. An experienced lawyer and mediator walks you through how to prepare your own BATNA, why it’s important in family law (especially when emotions are high), and how it gives you clarity and confidence when facing tricky decisions about property, parenting, and more. If you’re unsure what’s fair or fearful of being pushed into a bad deal, this episode will help you step back, assess your options, and negotiate smarter. BATNA in Divorce: How to Negotiate Property and Parenting Like a Pro ⏱️ Episode Timeline – What We Cover: [00:00] – What Are BATNA and WATNA? Introduction to Divorce Negotiation Strategies [01:31] – How Do BATNA and WATNA Help You Make Better Divorce Decisions? [02:29] – Why Is Preparation the Key to Stronger Negotiations? [04:19] – What Can You Learn from Real-Life Mediation Examples? [08:28] – How Do You Create a BATNA for Property Settlement After Divorce? [17:09] – What Are the Steps to Build a BATNA for Parenting and Custody Arrangements? [21:49] – What Is the Emotional Cost of Going to Court Instead of Settling? [23:15] – How Do Courts Prioritize the Best Interests of the Children? [24:04] – What Role Do Family Reports and Child-Inclusive Mediation Play? [25:22] – How Can a BATNA-Based Parenting Plan Help You Prepare? [26:22] – What Is a WATNA and Why Should You Know Your Worst-Case Scenario? [28:04] – What Are Red Flags and Manipulative Tactics to Watch for in Mediation? [32:45] – What Financial Disclosure Do You Need for Fair Negotiations? [33:57] – How Can Knowledge and Preparation Empower You in Family Law Negotiations? [39:26] – What Are Your Next Steps to Negotiate Smarter and Safer? Questions  BATNA for Property Settlement List All Assets and Debts (the Property Pool) Include houses, cars, superannuation, bank accounts, loans, credit cards, etc. Make sure you also list post-separation contributions (e.g., mortgage payments, childcare, etc.). Identify What You Need Financially Calculate your living expenses and future financial needs. Consider your housing needs, especially if you're the primary carer of children. Understand What the Law Might Award You Review how courts typically divide property in similar cases. Think about contributions, future needs, and Section 79(2) & (5) of the Family Law Act. Consider What You’d Get If You Went to Court Estimate legal costs, time delays, and emotional toll. This court outcome becomes your BATNA (or WATNA if it’s worse than a fair settlement). Build a Realistic Plan B Example: “If we can’t agree, I’ll apply for consent orders, or go to mediation, or file in court.” Include practical details — e.g., who will live where, interim arrangements, etc. BATNA for Children’s Arrangements Write Out What’s Best for the Children Consider their schooling, routines, health needs, and emotional safety. Outline a Parenting Plan That You Think Is Fair Include time with each parent, holidays, special events, decision-making responsibility. Assess Your Ex’s Likely Position What are they asking for? Is it reasonable? What might they agree to under pressure? Research What a Court Might Do Courts focus on the “best interests of the child” under Section 60CC of the Family Law Act. Understand how risk factors (like family violence) may impact parenting decisions. Create Your BATNA Parenting Plan If you don’t reach agreement, what’s the next best option? (e.g., apply for interim orders, request a Child Impact Report, or attend family dispute resolution). 🧠 Want more tools like this? Check out our other episodes on mediation, property settlement, and high-conflict negotiation strategies at thedivorcecourse.com.au. Episodes Mentioned Master your negotiations Iron Fist in a velvet glove https://open.spotify.com/episode/7D54dfjnCBW6pfkxnbgW2f?si=il_ZZ384T2KgbzQFmzB61g   Can you really mediate with a narcissist?  https://open.spotify.com/episode/3Vjl0I9xXUQruoAQKLVh11?si=bFaYC3hyQjyCL67k0ZW2uQ Financial Fairness: Spousal Maintenance and Child Support https://open.spotify.com/episode/3S73M140m759WcOrrKms2k?si=Fz4UCZkIQmiyfcfVJ4CxBg   Disclosure the what where why how https://open.spotify.com/episode/07olqt4NN0MQQ0Y5KiHkP2?si=kRpLYf9YRF6FCAtYAzU7Bg Overcoming Disclosure Dilemmas https://open.spotify.com/episode/0uOO8dKYV4NWlCfyu8FZEh?si=MsizEEDsS3y9z7CbXeCgrQ When your mediation goes wrong and what to do next https://open.spotify.com/episode/4WQhunLQVtWn02k5FT7Mpv?si=A70GJh9pQDSfKn6OEz7VPQ Support Services: 💜 Women’s Shelter Service: 1800 811 811 ⚖️ Legal Aid: Visit your state’s Legal Aid website 📞 Lifeline (24/7): 13 11 14 👨‍👧‍👦 Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978 👧 Kids Helpline: 1800 551 800 🚨 1800 RESPECT – National DV Hotline: 1800 737 732  

 Listen to This Episode If You: 🧠 Are considering seeing a psychologist during your separation 😨 Worry your ex might access your private or your child’s counseling records 📜 Want to understand the new Family Law Act changes around protected confidences ⚖️ Need clarity on subpoenas and how courts decide what’s relevant 💔 Fear that private health or therapy records could be weaponized against you 👩‍👧‍👦 Want to protect yours or your children’s emotional safety during family law proceedings Trigger warning: this discusses family violence and abuse.  In this important episode, we unpack the changes to the Family Law Act (effective June 10, 2025), giving courts new powers to protect sensitive medical and psychological records in family law matters. We’ll cover how this change helps protect parents and children from having deeply personal information dragged through court, how to apply for protected confidences, and when courts might still allow access to private records. Whether you’re negotiating a parenting plan, heading into court, or trying to support your children with therapy, this episode gives you the knowledge and questions to ask your lawyer so you can make informed decisions about confidentiality and subpoenas. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and not legal advice. Always seek independent legal and psychological advice for your situation. Trigger warning: this discusses family violence and abuse.    ⏱ Episode Timeline – What We Discuss: [0:00] – What’s new in family law and why protecting your sensitive information matters [0:37] – Key disclaimers before we dive in [1:01] – Recent changes to the Family Law Act Australia explained [1:31] – Why sensitive information can impact your safety and case outcomes [4:35] – What counts as sensitive information in family court cases during Divorce? [5:43] – Practical tips to keep your sensitive details protected in court during divorce [6:48] – How the family court helps protect private and confidential information [9:37] – Real-life examples: when and how to protect documents during divorce [13:11] – How to make a legal objection or application to protect documents during Family Court [19:48] – Mediation and pre-action procedures involving sensitive material during divorce proceedings. [23:19] – How to object in family court to sharing private information during your divorce proceedings. [23:35] – What role does the family court judge play in deciding on sensitive disclosure? [24:42] – What happens if you agree (or are pressured) to share sensitive documents in your divorce proceedings? [25:44] – What to do if you feel coerced to disclose private details during family court. [26:51] – The family law legislation and family court rules that protect your privacy [30:20] – How to balance presenting evidence and protecting yourself in Domestic Violence Family Law cases [31:35] – Can psychologists be subpoenaed in Family Court? What happens to your child's notes? [36:58] – How court-ordered counseling and reports may affect children during Family Court [39:57] – Final thoughts, key takeaways, and where to get help   🔑 Key Topics Covered: New Family Law Act provisions on confidentiality and subpoenas How parents can protect their child’s psychologist notes Legal processes for objecting to subpoenas The risks of waiving your right to privacy (even unintentionally) When private records can strengthen your case Balancing evidence needs with emotional and psychological harm Tips for speaking to your lawyer about protected confidences 📌 Links & Resources Mentioned: 📝 Attorney-General’s Fact Sheet on Protected Confidences https://www.ag.gov.au/families-and-marriage/publications/family-law-changes-june-2025-protecting-sensitive-information 📞 1800 RESPECT – National Family Violence Support 📞 Lifeline: 13 11 14 – 24/7 Emotional Support 🎙 Related Episodes: When Divorce Isn’t The End: Post-Separation Abuse https://open.spotify.com/episode/1V23F0O5yhQt9NFLPOu6uJ?si=YIkUS7njRUS8tsvFunT_ng   What is a subpoena? https://open.spotify.com/episode/4nVleHBTW9o4qOpeWhqgRt?si=KOUoIuctQs6KSf5zwq92nA    📌 Legal Disclaimer: This is a general discussion and not legal advice. Please see a qualified lawyer for advice specific to your situation. 🆘 Emergency & Support Contacts: 💜 Women’s Shelter: 1800 811 811 📞 Lifeline (24/7 Crisis): 13 11 14 👨‍👧 Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978 👧 Kids Helpline: 1800 551 800 🚨 DV Hotline: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732)  

 Listen to This Episode If You… 📂 Just received your ex’s disclosure and don’t know where to start 🧐 Want to know how to spot missing documents or sneaky omissions 💻 Are overwhelmed by pages of financial statements and legal jargon 🔎 Need practical tips for reviewing their disclosure without burning out ⚖️ Want to understand what “full and frank disclosure” actually means 💔 Are worried your ex might be hiding assets or draining accounts Are you staring at a pile of disclosure documents from your ex and wondering “What am I even supposed to do with this?” In this episode, I sit down with family lawyer Lynette Galvin (aka my mum!) to break down exactly what you need to know about reviewing your ex’s disclosure after separation. From tax returns and bank statements to spotting red flags and requesting missing information, we’ll guide you step-by-step so you can feel confident, not overwhelmed. Whether you’re doing it yourself or working with a lawyer, this episode will help you avoid costly mistakes, stay focused on what really matters, and protect your financial future. ⚠️ Trigger Warning: We discuss divorce, separation, and high-conflict situations in this episode. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is general information only and not legal advice. Always seek independent legal guidance for your situation. DOWNLOAD THE CHECKLIST HERE ---> https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist Timeline 00:00 – Introduction to Disclosure in Divorce What financial disclosure means in separation and why it’s a critical step in any property settlement or divorce process. 00:37 – Meet the Hosts A quick hello from Laura and Lynne and why their legal and lived experience can help you through this tricky stage. 00:58 – Why Disclosure Matters So Much We explain how disclosure protects your rights, ensures fairness, and why failing to understand it could cost you big time. 01:34 – What Does “Full and Frank Disclosure” Actually Mean? Breaking down the legal definition in family law and what your ex (and you) are legally required to provide. 02:51 – How to Analyze the Disclosure You’ve Been Given Step-by-step advice on what to do when that pile of documents lands in your inbox – and how to avoid feeling overwhelmed. 04:54 – DIY Disclosure and Your Own Research Why you shouldn’t rely solely on what your ex provides and ways you can independently verify information. 06:52 – Red Flags in Financial Disclosure Common warning signs that something might not add up: missing documents, unusual spending patterns, or assets in other people’s names. 19:20 – How to Handle Hidden Accounts and Unusual Transactions What to do if you suspect your ex is hiding money or diverting assets to avoid sharing them. 20:29 – The Purpose of Disclosure in Family Law Cases We talk about how courts use disclosure to assess property settlements and why honesty is non-negotiable. 21:05 – Post-Separation Contributions and Why They Matter What happens if one person has been paying the mortgage, school fees, or other major expenses since the split. 21:21 – Undisclosed Bank Accounts and Offshore Assets What to do if you find out your ex hasn’t disclosed all their financial interests. 21:49 – Free Resources to Help You Prepare for Divorce Tools and services that can help you better understand and manage disclosure. 22:32 – How to Request Additional Disclosure When you’re entitled to ask for more documents and how to word your request. 24:13 – When to Get Lawyers Involved in Disclosure Signs it’s time to stop DIYing and bring in legal support to avoid being taken advantage of. 25:27 – Forensic Accountants and Valuing Businesses or Complex Assets How professionals can uncover hidden money and accurately assess complicated financial situations. 29:19 – Risks of Avoiding or Ignoring Disclosure Why skipping this step or rushing the process can lead to unfair settlements or future legal problems. 31:32 – Dealing with High-Conflict and Manipulative Exes During Disclosure Practical strategies to manage stress and protect yourself emotionally while navigating the process. 33:04 – Managing Overwhelm With Big Disclosure Files What to do if you’re drowning in hundreds of pages of bank statements and financial records. 41:00 – Final Thoughts and Next Steps How to approach disclosure with clarity and confidence and where to get help if you’re stuck. Resources Episodes Mentioned in this Podcast Episode   Overcoming Disclosure Dilemmas https://open.spotify.com/episode/0uOO8dKYV4NWlCfyu8FZEh?si=0Kzow_IlQrCa3rZR4NsD2Q   Disclosure: What, Where, Why & How  https://open.spotify.com/episode/07olqt4NN0MQQ0Y5KiHkP2?si=uiY_bycbSM-AYQtgEVC1HQ   Is your ex hiding assets: how to uncover the truth https://open.spotify.com/episode/4KbgLRFXB9r2rCz3vycZ98?si=be63VrPJSxmJlWhocW9q6w   DIY Disclosure & Discovery https://youtu.be/u0XLjFhiK1o?si=40AGeygbn9gE1a3p   When divorce isn’t the end dealing with Legal and Post Separation Abuse https://open.spotify.com/episode/1V23F0O5yhQt9NFLPOu6uJ?si=JRFokBRaT1ivH2FW2Z3mMQ 🆘 Emergency & Support Contacts: 💜 Women’s Shelter: 1800 811 811 📞 Lifeline (24/7 Crisis): 13 11 14 👨‍👧 Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978 👧 Kids Helpline: 1800 551 800 🚨 DV Hotline: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732)

🎧 Listen to This Episode If You… 💔 You’re worried your ex is badmouthing you during divorce ⚖️ Want to know how false allegations and smear campaigns affect family court 🧠 Need strategies to protect your mental health from the gossip 📚 Want practical legal and emotional steps to respond to defamation 😢 Feel isolated because family and friends are believing lies 💬 Need to know how to gather evidence if your ex spreads false stories at work, school, or online Episode Summary: Are you worried your ex is trying to destroy your reputation during your divorce? You’re not alone. In this episode, we unpack how smear campaigns and defamation show up in family law – from gossiping with family and friends to spreading lies at school, work, or even on social media. Laura and her mum Lynne (a seasoned family lawyer) share why some exes resort to these tactics, how it can impact custody and property settlements, and what you can do emotionally and legally to protect yourself. This episode is your roadmap to staying calm, gathering evidence, and keeping your credibility intact when you feel like your name is being dragged through the mud. ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, false allegations, and reputational attacks. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This is general discussion only and not legal advice. Always seek advice from a lawyer for your situation. 00:00 Introduction and Trigger Warning 01:35 Understanding Smear Campaigns in Divorce 03:57 Defamation vs. Venting: Key Differences 04:45 Motivations Behind Smear Campaigns in Divorce 07:32 Family and Friends: Navigating Smear Campaigns in Divorce 14:04 School and Community: Protecting Your Reputation during divorce 19:54 Dealing with Professionals and Legal Implications during divorce 22:54 Workplace Challenges and Solutions during Divorce 25:48 Navigating Workplace and Family Law 27:02 Social Media Smear Campaigns during Divorce 31:07 Handling False Accusations in Family Court  36:37 Practical Steps for Self-Protection during Divorce 39:48 Defamation and Divorce 43:58 Maintaining Dignity and Focus During Divorce     Resources   Episodes Mentioned in this Podcast Episode Narcisisst Playbook in Divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/0r7udkSJm30looYILBiNIL?si=_wp6ONRhRHGlwH9gKJvuMQ   Is it family violence https://open.spotify.com/episode/5cflNozwnWTSfqAQTjMspg?si=2Xe3F0KXTzeETCQhZ74wIw   Your child's school and divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/4u5SkU2R2DY0U1uyQfi7Cs?si=a5q_r3tgRs2I00S48OZXtA   Narcissistic Ex tells lies in Court, Mediation etc Seven Tips https://open.spotify.com/episode/5SdkXhj3vC2tfO3gDdkM6y?si=SYFT9JQ-Qziug0agbertog   Is your ex telling lies in the Family Court  https://open.spotify.com/episode/2OpAGxXfx78iAO81TMPPxJ?si=_GAl64-WQtiks2pb6Tlh8g   DARVO: 8 ways to protect yourself in court  https://open.spotify.com/episode/0JyfH5fCoqrUoxeDj6jCtu?si=a45z9W2WRe-yRCAy10bIRw   10 essential boundaries for a healthier divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/0ecDTxw4rTc3zXBkcjuYpA?si=7uT3sL5EQySxdUttlMk0Kg   Navigating Parental Trash Talking  https://open.spotify.com/episode/7bxqn5I6B1HCzO9r0zKnxY?si=qjg7VTrDQw-FBu0IJOJUcQ     🆘 Emergency & Support Contacts: 💜 Women’s Shelter: 1800 811 811 📞 Lifeline (24/7 Crisis): 13 11 14 👨‍👧 Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978 👧 Kids Helpline: 1800 551 800 🚨 DV Hotline: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) Divorce and Defamation:What to Do When Your Ex Tries to Destroy Your Reputation

Listen to This Episode If You: ✉️ You’re self-represented in your family law matter 🤯 You’re feeling overwhelmed trying to respond to legal letters ⚖️ You’re unsure of your rights when communicating without a lawyer 📬 You need tips for writing clear, respectful, and protective responses 🚨 You’ve been told you must respond but don’t know where to start 🧾 You want to avoid common traps and stay legally safe  📌 Legal Disclaimer: This is a general discussion and not legal advice. Please see a qualified lawyer for advice specific to your situation. Episode Summary: Can you write to your ex’s lawyer if you don’t have one yourself? What are the legal and strategic risks—and how can you protect yourself? In this essential episode, we break down how to navigate communication in your family law matter when you’re self-represented. From tone and structure to legal obligations and emotional traps, we cover everything you need to know to respond with confidence and protect your position. We also talk about when not to respond, what the Family Law Rules say about unrepresented parties, and what to do if the other side’s lawyer refuses to deal with you directly. If you’re facing legal letters, emotional pressure, or confusion about your next step—this episode is your guide.   ⏱️ Episode Timeline – What We Discuss: 00:00 Introduction: Responding to Your Ex's Lawyer 01:45 Understanding the Stress of Legal Letters 04:13 What are the Rules for Communicating with Your Ex's Lawyer 06:31 Best Practices for Writing Legal Letters 15:43 Common Tactics in Family Lawyer Letters and How to Handle Them 19:42 Guidelines for Self-Represented Individuals in Family Law and Divorce 24:54 Handling Lawyer-Guided Mediation 25:16 When to Seek Legal Advice 25:43 Responding to Offers and Legal Letters in your Divorce 27:44 Managing Emotional Reactions in your Divorce 29:27 Timing and Professionalism in Legal Responses 31:44 Disagreeing Professionally in a letter to a family lawyer 36:26 Avoidant Personality Tips in Divorce Communication 38:02 High Conflict Personality Tips in Divorce Communication 39:36 Manipulative and Controlling Personality Tips in Divorce Communication 41:34 Amicable Personality Tips in Divorce Communication 45:17 Final Tips for Self-Represented Litigants Resources Case N Johnson (Appellant/Husband) and M L Johnson (Cross-Appellant/Wife) [1997] FamCA 32 (7 July 1997) https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FamCA/1997/32.html?query= RE: F Litigants in Person Guidelines [2001] FamCA 348 (4 June 2001) http://www6.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FamCA/2001/348.html?query= 102na Information https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pubs/fv-info-sheet Related Episodes Read a letter like a lawyer Decoding Divorce Word Salad Letters: Seven steps https://open.spotify.com/episode/4qiOSiGK9yOrt0lEdqCudQ?si=l_8Iu5hoSZmxw2mvkajU_A   Costs & Calderbank Offers https://open.spotify.com/episode/2B2Se7hTIBAOg5f5YJ5wqE?si=7xSMeQdYQRePtZ6kHWbnfw   Divorce Deals 101 https://open.spotify.com/episode/0cjgFLg0SGCOx98WkyTnXg?si=-lt0fSQcR9qvs01P5j0_WA Ten Essential Boundaries for Divorce  https://open.spotify.com/episode/0ecDTxw4rTc3zXBkcjuYpA?si=PCrZb2qiRW617tOB4iJ--A   Community Legal Services and Legal Aid Episode https://open.spotify.com/episode/24RyAciJ6LAqMZpjUWXoJT?si=opezHO29QniWfu5lMUwowg   🆘 Emergency & Support Contacts: 💜 Women’s Shelter: 1800 811 811 📞 Lifeline (24/7 Crisis): 13 11 14 👨‍👧 Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978 👧 Kids Helpline: 1800 551 800 🚨 DV Hotline: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732)  

🎧 Listen to This Episode If You… 🧾 Are trying to prove family violence in family court or to your lawyer 💔 Have experienced abuse and need to understand what counts under the law ⚖️ Want to know what evidence is helpful in a family law case 🕵️‍♀️ Are navigating post-separation abuse or coercive control 👨‍👩‍👧 Are worried about your children being exposed to family violence 📚 Want clarity on Australia’s legal definition of family violence  📌 Legal Disclaimer: This is a general discussion and not legal advice. Please see a qualified lawyer for advice specific to your situation. ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses domestic and family violence. Episode Summary: What counts as family violence in Australia? And more importantly—how do you prove it in court or explain it to your lawyer? In this vital episode, we unpack the newer and expanded definition of family violence under the Family Law Act, section 4AB, and explain how each part can show up in real life—and in legal documents. From stalking, coercive control and financial abuse, to how children are affected—we cover each part of the legal definition and give guidance on how to identify, name, and prepare evidence for your case. Whether you're writing an affidavit, preparing for mediation, or just trying to make sense of what’s happened to you, this episode is here to help you take the next step. ⏱️ Episode Timeline – What We Discuss: 00:00 – What is this episode about and why does it matter? 00:40 – What trigger warnings and legal disclaimers should you know before listening? 02:09 – What recent changes have been made to the Family Law Act regarding family violence? 03:50 – What exactly is included in the new definition of family violence? 04:54 – How can you start gathering evidence of family violence? 11:46 – How do you prove emotional and psychological abuse in court? 17:16 – What counts as financial or economic abuse—and how can you show it? 27:58 – How does isolation and social control factor into family violence? 32:05 – Can friends or support people help provide evidence of abuse? 32:41 – What is the legal impact of family violence on children? 34:23 – How should you document incidents of family violence? 35:58 – Why are detailed affidavits so important in family court? 37:12 – When should you seek legal advice or a lawyer's help? 46:47 – What challenges might arise in mediation or court when trying to prove abuse? 57:17 – What are the key takeaways and support resources mentioned?   📌 Key Takeaways: The legal definition of family violence under Section 4AB Real-life examples of what courts consider family violence Emotional, economic, and psychological abuse explained How to describe incidents in affidavits or when reporting to professionals Children’s exposure to family violence and its legal weight Practical ways to document your experience for court     Resources Family Law Act  Section 4AB Definition of Family Violence https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s4ab.html#:~:text=1975%20%2D%20SECT%204AB-,Definition%20of%20family%20violence%20etc.,family%20member%20to%20be%20fearful. Affidavit DIY Kit: https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/pubs/preparing-affidavit   Related Episodes Four things you might not realise are coercive control https://open.spotify.com/episode/37TbRPx2QlIf6IhTjIu21t?si=14F0S44DTV-auLxa1JZ7fQ Is it emotional abuse? https://open.spotify.com/episode/2bSCQ3JdcU4xxW7D4LJUxG?si=xN-N_3QpSZ6bVoiPjmvnag Is it financial abuse? https://open.spotify.com/episode/4wxVtk6TOSCgqCJikfk6LD?si=fg9uTg5IR3iS9TqmMZejYg Divorcing your abuser https://open.spotify.com/episode/21TpYbC15VJt9lnb82Ub13?si=qai60uWwRg-kbkQ5nRYvdQ Telling your story: putting coercive control into writing https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Ci0M4DqznBf1L1kcZM3vY?si=6nY8QhxvSCuy92hPpLbfXg Affidavits  https://open.spotify.com/episode/6aGOz28irKroZfpYwlovyo?si=D_bm7-ftRjW6rozzjMbUbw   🆘 Emergency & Support Contacts: 💜 Women’s Shelter: 1800 811 811 📞 Lifeline (24/7 Crisis): 13 11 14 👨‍👧 Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978 👧 Kids Helpline: 1800 551 800 🚨 DV Hotline: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732)  

🎧 Listen to This Episode If You: 💸 Are weighing the pros and cons of buying, selling or renting post-divorce  ⚖️ Need to understand how your living decisions affect property settlement under family law  👨‍👧 Are parenting and want to make housing choices that work for your kids  🏡 Just separated and unsure about where to live 📉 Are worried about financial risk and long-term planning Episode Summary: Where will you live after your separation or divorce? It’s one of the most important—and emotionally loaded—questions you’ll face. In this episode, I’m joined by Pedro Marin, Financial Planner from Marin Wealth, and my mum Lyn, an experienced family lawyer, to explore the options: keeping the house, selling, buying again, renting, or trying rentvesting. We look at the emotional, financial, and legal implications of each choice—and how they interact with the Family Law Act, especially Section 79(2) and 79(5), which focus on the needs of the children and future financial considerations. If you’re unsure what to do next or feel stuck between financial reality and emotional decisions, this conversation will help you start to look over the situation.  Disclaimer: This is not legal or financial advice and you MUST see a lawyer or financial advisor before making any decision. We are not liable for the outcome of your case and by listening to this podcast you agree to this.  ⏱️ Episode Timeline – What We Discuss: 00:00 – What’s this episode about and why is it crucial for separated couples? 00:15 – Who are Pedro Marin Ramirez and Lynette Galvin, and how can they help? 00:36 – What property decisions do you need to consider during divorce? 01:42 – Why do you need both financial planning and legal advice after separation? 03:05 – Should you keep the family home after divorce? What to consider 09:42 – Is now the right time to sell your house? Key market insights for separating couples 12:49 – What should you do with lump sum payments after selling the house? 20:47 – What is rent-vesting and how can it work after divorce? 23:21 – What are the risks of renting or investing in property post-divorce? 24:34 – How does the Family Court consider children’s housing needs in property settlement? 25:11 – Why is “just renting” sometimes not enough post-separation? 26:15 – Why do you need an emergency fund and solid financial planning after divorce? 28:50 – What does The Barefoot Investor say about post-separation money management? 29:31 – What are the pathways to home ownership after a divorce? 34:43 – What are the risks of property surgery after separation? 36:01 – How do you navigate home loans and bank requirements after divorce? 40:01 – What are the final takeaways and key resources for post-separation housing? Resources Marin Wealth Free Calculators https://marinwealth.com.au/calculators/ Family Law Act 79(5)  https://classic.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s79.html 🎙️ Related Episodes: I really want to keep the house https://open.spotify.com/episode/6TzW9skKgvO8fjm0gcFPRg?si=vUHKQ7vUS0egoexZ5QQ7Zw Out of the box ideas to keep the house https://open.spotify.com/episode/5RgIsTMGh7EBqqbAgIVQ5Y?si=Zct17ZGEQxaWg8xX4wEF0A Understanding Property Settlement Options in Divorce Future Financial Needs in Family Law: Explained Weapons of Tax Destruction in Divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/1Bvc2JFmgcLMpIZLIXEwVR?si=5zrzU_AHR_KSnJ9IovdUnA Taking Control of your Finances in Divorce - Financial Abuse Red Flags https://open.spotify.com/episode/0RzZTAL7xwRo1dvGoR8Ywr?si=iNX3fN1LQJijcucOnfKvOQ 🆘 Emergency & Support Contacts: 💜 Women’s Shelter: 1800 811 811 📞 Lifeline (24/7 Crisis): 13 11 14 👨‍👧 Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978 👧 Kids Helpline: 1800 551 800 🚨 DV Hotline: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) 📌 Key Takeaways: You have more options than you think—but each comes with trade-offs Emotional attachment to a home can cloud financial judgment Rentvesting can work, but it's not a silver bullet Selling might feel like a loss but can also give you financial breathing space Legal and financial decisions are intertwined, especially with children involved The court considers both your current and future needs under family law

🎧 Listen to This Episode If You… 😢 Feel like your ex is still trying to control you, even after the breakup 🧠 Want to understand how emotional abuse can continue post-separation 🛡️ Need strategies to protect your mental health during negotiations ⚖️ Are co-parenting with someone who is manipulative or abusive 👂 Want to learn what psychologists say about responding calmly and firmly 💔 Are feeling exhausted, anxious, or stuck in the dynamic even though it’s over 📚 Need real guidance from someone who understands trauma and divorce ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions about  abuse. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Always speak to your own psychologist or lawyer about your specific situation. Divorce should bring closure, but for many, the abuse doesn’t end when the relationship does. In this powerful episode, we're joined by clinical psychologist Krasi Kirova, who specialises in complex trauma, emotional and psychological abuse, and family violence. Together, we unpack post-separation abuse—what it looks like, why it’s so common, and how to recognise the subtle and not-so-subtle ways a controlling ex might continue to manipulate and harass you during legal negotiations and co-parenting. Krasi shares practical tools for setting boundaries, managing emotional triggers, and protecting yourself mentally and emotionally as you navigate separation and the legal  divorce process. If you're in the thick of divorce with an abusive or high-conflict ex, this episode is your lifeline.   🔑 Key Topics Discussed in This Episode: 00:00 – What is emotional abuse in the context of divorce? 00:15 – Who is Krasi Kirova and why is she an expert in emotional and psychological abuse? 00:54 – How can you set boundaries and protect your emotional health during and after divorce? 01:08 – What legal and psychological disclaimers should listeners be aware of? 01:42 – What did listeners say about our previous episode on emotional abuse? 03:13 – What challenges do survivors face after leaving an abusive relationship? 07:34 – How do you co-parent with an abusive ex-partner? 10:41 – How can you manage anxiety when dealing with legal communications from your ex? 12:34 – Why are support systems and legal preparation so important in these cases? 18:21 – How can you manage trauma and stress in family law settings? 21:01 – What should you understand about trauma reactions during supervised visits? 22:16 – What regulations and training exist for contact centers? 22:34 – Why are victims sometimes misidentified as perpetrators in court? 23:27 – What strategies do abusers use to sabotage mothers post-separation? 24:21 – What is the DIY Divorce Blueprint and how can it help you? 25:04 – How can you handle manipulative communication from your ex? 29:04 – How do you rebuild confidence after surviving coercive control? 31:45 – What are the common self-gaslighting patterns in legal processes? 37:00 – How do you create a supportive community during and after separation? 40:14 – What are the key takeaways and resources shared in this episode? 📌 Links & Resources Mentioned: 🔗 1800 RESPECT – National Domestic and Family Violence Counselling Service 🔗 Lifeline – 13 11 14 – 24/7 Crisis Support 🔗 Legal Aid – Access to legal help for those in need 🔗 Kids Helpline – 1800 55 1800 – Support for young people Dr Emma Katz - https://dremmakatz.substack.com/p/how-domestically-abusive-men-continue  🔗 [Krasi Kirova's workshop – Understanding Emotional Abuse in Relationships] https://kirovapsychology.com.au/workshop/ 🎙️ Related Episodes: Do I really need to respond to that? https://open.spotify.com/episode/30yut1I0YFLaAAMSKsRoxe?si=WdkeKNSyTuaFVmoxDM3wUA   Is that Emotional Abuse? https://open.spotify.com/episode/2bSCQ3JdcU4xxW7D4LJUxG?si=1ryvYQmYTOm56lzuYCHiUQ 🧠 Let’s keep the conversation going If this episode resonated, please share it with a friend or leave us a review. Your support helps more people find the show and feel empowered in their own journey. ENROL NOW www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/enrol 🆘 Support Services: 💜 Women’s Shelter Service: 1800 811 811 ⚖️ Legal Aid: Visit your state’s Legal Aid website 📞 Lifeline (24/7 Crisis Support): 13 11 14 👨‍👦 Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978 👧 Kids Help Line: 1800 551 800 🚨 National DV Hotline: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) 🖤 Aboriginal Family DV Hotline: 1800 019 123  

🎙️ Episode 198: The Hidden Costs of Doing Nothing – Why Waiting in Limbo Might Be Hurting You   🎧 Listen to This Episode If You: 🔁 Feel stuck or overwhelmed since separating 📅 Keep delaying property or parenting decisions 💔 Are hoping things might just “work out” without action 💸 Worry about legal costs or can’t afford a lawyer yet 🛑 Feel like taking action will start a fight 🚧 Want a plan but don’t know where to begin 🧭 Need clarity to move forward without fear ⚠️ Trigger Warning: Discussions include separation, family court, and financial and emotional abuse. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: General info only. Please get specific legal advice for your situation. Separation is overwhelming—there’s grief, uncertainty, and a mountain of legal stuff no one feels ready for. But what happens when you do nothing? In this episode, I sit down with my mum Lyn (a family lawyer) to talk about the risks of delaying action after separation or divorce. From financial pitfalls to missed opportunities and emotional burnout, we explore what it really costs to stay stuck in limbo. You’ll learn if waiting “until things settle down” can actually work against you—and how small steps today can protect your future. If you’ve been unsure about where to start, afraid to rock the boat, or feeling too exhausted to make decisions, this episode is here to give you the clarity and confidence to take your first step.   ⏱️ Episode Timeline: 0:00 – Trigger warning, legal disclaimer & welcome 1:30 – Why so many people stay stuck after separation 3:00 – What it feels like to be in post-separation “limbo” 4:45 – Common fears: lawyers, conflict, making the wrong move 6:10 – Emotional costs of doing nothing: guilt, stress, burnout 9:00 – Financial costs: how waiting can shrink your property pool 10:30 – Parenting: when not taking action can hurt your child’s stability 13:00 – False hope: thinking your ex will change or agree later 15:00 – How court views delays—and why judges may not be sympathetic 17:00 – Misconceptions that delay people from acting 20:00 – What to do if you’re scared of your ex’s reaction 22:30 – First steps you can take—without lawyers or court 25:00 – Why the DIY Divorce Blueprint was created for people in limbo 27:00 – Reassurance: you don’t have to figure it all out right now 28:30 – Final thoughts: permission to take action at your own pace     📚 Related Episodes: Four things you might not realise are coercive control https://open.spotify.com/episode/37TbRPx2QlIf6IhTjIu21t?si=Adxp2mmVSR62CXVWCJ8d2A ENROL NOW www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/enrol   🆘 Support Services: 💜 Women’s Shelter Service: 1800 811 811 ⚖️ Legal Aid: Visit your state’s Legal Aid website 📞 Lifeline (24/7 Crisis Support): 13 11 14 👨‍👦 Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978 👧 Kids Help Line: 1800 551 800 🚨 National DV Hotline: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) 🖤 Aboriginal Family DV Hotline: 1800 019 123