The D Shift podcast

Tips for Creating Coparenting Plans That Reduce Conflict

10/22/2026
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A parenting plan might look perfectly reasonable when both parents are getting along, but what happens when circumstances change? A new relationship, a change in work schedules, disagreements about medical decisions, or even something as simple as who picks up the children from school can create unexpected conflict. The details that seem unimportant during divorce can become major problems months or years later.

Family law attorney Nicole Sodoma returns for another conversation with Strategic Divorce Consultant and High-Conflict Divorce Coach Mardi Winder, this time focusing on how to create parenting plans that actually work in everyday life. Drawing on her experience as an attorney, parenting coordinator, and divorced parent, Nicole explains the differences between nesting, cooperative co-parenting, and parallel parenting. She also shares why clear, specific language in parenting agreements can prevent misunderstandings and protect families when communication becomes difficult.

One of the most interesting parts of this discussion is the importance of planning for disagreements before they happen. From deciding how to make major parenting decisions to setting expectations for communication, Nicole offers practical suggestions to reduce conflict and keep children's needs at the center of the conversation. She and Mardi also explore when a parenting coordinator may be helpful, how technology can support healthier communication, and why learning to pause before responding can change the direction of a difficult interaction.

Questions and Answers

1. What should be included in a co-parenting plan after divorce?

A well-developed parenting plan should address parenting schedules, exchanges, decision-making responsibilities, communication expectations, and procedures for resolving disagreements. Nicole emphasizes that even seemingly minor details, such as who can transport children or what happens when school is closed, deserve consideration.

2. What's the difference between co-parenting, parallel parenting, and nesting?

Co-parenting generally involves parents communicating and working together to raise their children. Parallel parenting offers more structure and limited direct interaction when conflict makes cooperation difficult. Nesting is typically a temporary arrangement where children remain in the family home while parents alternate living there.

3. Why can flexible parenting agreements create problems later?

Vague agreements may work when parents are getting along, but they can create opportunities for disagreement when circumstances change. Nicole recommends establishing clear expectations as a backup while allowing parents to cooperate and make mutually agreed adjustments when appropriate.

4. When should divorced parents consider using a parenting coordinator?

A parenting coordinator may be helpful when parents struggle to communicate, repeatedly disagree about decisions, or experience ongoing conflict over parenting arrangements. Although there are additional costs involved, a qualified professional can sometimes help families resolve disputes and establish more effective communication practices.

About the Guest:

Nicole Sodoma is a nationally recognized family law attorney, author and thought leader redefining divorce, co-parenting and modern family dynamics. She is the founder and managing principal of Sodoma Law, the largest family law firm in North and South Carolina.

A former litigator, certified parenting coordinator and collaborative law attorney, Nicole draws on her own lived experience as a step-parent, mother, ex-wife and entrepreneur to provide personalized strategies and tools for families navigating complex transitions. She is the author of Please Don’t Say You’re Sorry, which helps readers navigate the challenges of marriage and divorce with insight, humor and practical tools to move forward. Nicole is also the founder of the Sodoma Law Foundation, and sought-after source on all things divorce and family, having been featured in outlets including The Wall Street Journal, USA Today and Business Insider.

To connect with Nicole:

Website: https://sodomalaw.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SodomaLaw

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesodomaway/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/sodoma-law/

YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCi51C8Ks0u6xISNhixNKoMg

About the Host

Mardi Winder is a Strategic Divorce Consultant and High-Conflict Divorce Coach who helps high-achieving individuals navigate divorce with clarity, confidence, and control. Drawing on more than 30 years of experience in mediation, divorce coaching and conflict resolution, she supports clients in making smart decisions while reducing emotional and financial fallout, particularly in high-conflict, high-asset and complex divorces. Mardi is the founder of Positive Communication Systems, LLC, and the Strategic Divorce Directory, LLC.

For Mardi’s gift: The Resilience Building Blueprint: A 28-Day Journey To A Stronger You https://www.divorcecoach4women.com/rbb

Connect with Mardi on Social Media:

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Divorcecoach4women

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mardiwinder/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcecoach4women/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@divorcecoach4women

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