Stop Rebuilding Your Life (Do This Instead) | Tanya C. Oliver

You can have the house, the car, the trophies and the stage, and still be stuck asking, "And then what?" Performance coach Tanya C. Oliver hit that question at rock bottom, and her answer wasn't to rebuild her old life. It was to build something completely new. Tanya is a performance coach for Kingdom entrepreneurs with more than 20 years teaching high achievers emotional intelligence, high-performance habits and leadership. She's also the author of Building the New. In this conversation, she and Stephen get honest about why successful people keep repeating the same patterns, how to stop making decisions from dysregulation, and what it takes to build an identity rooted in Christ instead of outcomes. In this episode, you'll learn: - Why rebuilding your old life keeps you stuck, and how to build new from ground zero - The 3-part framework for transforming any area of your life: be honest, get curious, seek solutions - The difference between a goal and a vision, and why clarity only comes when you move - A 4-part framework for regulating your emotions before you execute - Why procrastination isn't laziness, and what's really driving it - How your values and standards act as bodyguards against counterfeits in business and relationships Chapters: (00:00) Intro & Welcome (04:13) Building the New: Rock Bottom & Going All In (09:44) Honest Inventory: The 3-Part Framework (15:49) Success for Who? Life Before Going All In (21:23) Goals vs. Visions (25:44) Procrastination, Pressure & Refinement (31:27) Regulation Before Execution: The 4-Part Framework (37:46) Fear vs. Love: Healing the Root (49:13) Inner Child Work & Forgiving Yourself (1:01:02) "A Daughter of the King" & Stewarding Self (1:15:06) Your Standards Are Your Bodyguards (1:22:08) Rapid Fire Connect with Tanya C. Oliver: Building the New: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1966152574?lv=shuf&channelId=500&plpRedirect=mhFallback Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanyacoliver/ Take the Aligned Leader Index: https://stephenscoggins.com/leader-clarity-assessment-engine/ Connect with Stephen Scoggins: Website: https://stephenscoggins.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stephen_scoggins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephenscoggins Watch on YouTube: @LionLambWithStephen If this episode helped you, follow the show and leave a rating or review. It's the best way to help another leader find this conversation.

Remy Davenport has generated 850 million views for his clients, and he still turns founders away. His reason: a platform only amplifies what's already inside you, and he won't put a megaphone on dysfunction. Stephen Scoggins sits down with Remy, a content strategist who builds platforms for faith-led founders, to explore one of the hardest questions in leadership: when are you ready to be seen, and when is God still building you in the hidden season? Remy opens up about shutting down two businesses at the same time with no income, no savings, and a baby on the way. He also shares the co-founder fallout that taught him what dysfunction really costs. Stephen reveals the one line that redefined his entire message: you can't scale dysfunction. In this episode: - Why your platform will only amplify what's already inside you - The Gandhi sugar story and what real credibility looks like - Why imposter syndrome can mean you're teaching what you haven't lived - How Remy's clients create 36 pieces of content in 3 hours - How the algorithm actually works now, and how to reach your real followers - Why "who you're becoming" matters more to God than what you're building This is the Lion and Lamb methodology in action: the boldness to build a platform, paired with the humility to let God build you first. Chapters: 00:00 Intro & Welcome 03:46 The Power of a Voice 08:06 The Parable of the Talents & Stewardship 17:53 Credibility & Imposter Syndrome 26:41 You Can't Scale Dysfunction 32:46 Who You're Becoming 36:28 Shutting Down Two Businesses 49:59 Smart Sessions 55:03 How the Algorithm Works Now 1:01:03 Alignment Before Acceleration 1:14:32 Lion or Lamb: Remy's Biggest Struggle If this episode spoke to you, follow the show and leave a 5-star rating and review. Every few weeks we pick a reviewer to bless. Share it with a leader who needs to hear it. Connect with Stephen: Website: https://stephenscoggins.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stephen_scoggins YouTube: @LionLambWithStephen Connect with Remy Davenport: Instagram Coaching Program Waitlist

Rhonda Kich has spent 20 years in the rooms where deals get done, and she's met heroes who weren't who they claimed to be. Stephen Scoggins and Rhonda talk about finding mentors you can actually trust in a world full of performers. Rhonda is a dealmaker, strategic advisor, host of the Unfiltered podcast, and president of Mentor Box 2.0. She has helped founders, fund managers, athletes, and entertainers get funded, get visible, and get into the right rooms. Now she's rebuilding Mentor Box as a trust platform where every mentor is vetted, peer reviewed, and expected to own their failures. In this episode, you'll hear: Why meeting your heroes can leave you feeling "a little violated," and what to do when a room isn't aligned "Every referral is a loan on your reputation": spotting takers vs. heart-centered people Why posing in front of a rented jet or sports car makes you an imposter Stephen's story of having everything on paper and feeling completely empty How Mentor Box 2.0 vets mentors, and why having no failures disqualifies you The one question that makes Rhonda end a conversation immediately How to build an advisory board before you can afford a team Lion or Lamb: which one cost Rhonda more? It's the Lion and Lamb methodology in action: the boldness to walk away from the wrong rooms, and the humility to ask for help. If this episode helped you, follow the show and leave a rating or review. It helps more leaders find these conversations. Share it with someone who's looking for a mentor. Watch the full video on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@LionLambWithStephen Connect with Stephen Scoggins: Website: https://stephenscoggins.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stephen_scoggins TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@stephen_scoggins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/stephenscoggins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephenscoggins Connect with Rhonda Kich: Instagram Unfiltered Podcast Chapters: 00:00 Trailer & Intro 01:16 Meet Rhonda Kich 03:46 Green Rooms, Heroes & Fake Success 16:21 Having Everything and Feeling Empty 19:20 Mentor Box 2.0 & the Trust Recession 27:42 How to Spot a Real Mentor 34:18 From Learning to Action: Advisory Boards & Accountability 53:29 The Future of Mentor Box 57:29 Lion or Lamb? + Rapid Fire

Bernard Quisumbing's story of addiction recovery, faith, and grief: five failed rehabs, 14 years on meth, and the prayer that set him free. Twenty years later, he's walking through the one loss he can't outwork. Stephen Scoggins sits down with Bernard, former hip-hop artist, former top-performing car salesman, and fitness and wellness thought leader with the Don't Quit Legacy Foundation, for one of the most honest conversations ever on One Part Lion, One Part Lamb. Bernard opens up about the deal he made with God after jail and five rehabs, how his marriage came back from the brink while he was "crushing it" at work, and what he's learning about grieving well after losing his baby brother, David. For high achievers, leaders, and faith-driven entrepreneurs, this is the Lion and Lamb methodology at its most human. The strength that gets you through, and the surrender that carries you when strength isn't enough. Content note: This episode discusses addiction and suicide and is intended for adult listeners. If you or someone you love is struggling, you are not alone. In the US, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline). In this episode: - The prayer Bernard prayed when he "didn't even know God" - Why his wife was crumbling while he was the top performer at every dealership - The "Two Hands" principle: why high achievers give help but won't ask for it - Inflated vs. deflated ego: the two reasons we don't raise our hand - "Love or fear?": the question to run your words through before you speak to your kids - G.R.I.E.F.: an early framework for grieving well Chapters: (00:00) Intro & Content Note (01:46) 20 Years Sober From 14 Years of Meth (04:33) Meth, and the 60 People He Pulled In (06:42) Where It All Started: Age 7 (12:41) Top Performer, Crumbling Marriage (19:40) Two Hands: Why We Won't Ask for Help (20:52) Never Enough: The Messages He Believed (29:39) The Grief He Can't Outwork (32:23) What Families Get Wrong About Addiction (35:19) Five Failed Rehabs & a Deal With God (38:01) Why Asking for Help Is So Hard (43:07) Love or Fear? The Words Kids Carry (50:02) Anxiety, Isolation & Empathy (55:12) Achievement Hid Him, Didn't Heal Him (56:08) David, the Beloved & Anger at God (01:12:23) G.R.I.E.F.: How to Grieve Well (01:27:10) Don't Quit Legacy & Closing Watch the full video episode on YouTube HERE If this episode spoke to you, follow the show and leave a rating and review. It helps more leaders find these conversations. And if someone came to mind while you listened, send this episode to them. Connect with Bernard Quisumbing: Don't Quit Legacy Foundation: https://dqlegacyfoundation.org/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bernardquisumbing/ Follow Stephen Scoggins: Website: https://stephenscoggins.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stephen_scoggins TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@stephen_scoggins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/stephenscoggins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephenscoggins YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@LionLambWithStephen

He had the mansion, the exotic cars, and every marker of "made it" by age 24 — and none of it was real. It took a heart attack to show him why. In this episode, Stephen sits down with Dan Sachkowsky — performance coach, founder of Big D Coaching, and author of the upcoming book Following Your Way Uphill — for a conversation about what happens when strength becomes the very thing that's holding you back. Dan built his first business at 17 with no idea what he was doing, chased every marker of success he could get his hands on, and lost it all more than once before he understood why. He and Stephen unpack the moment a heart attack forced him to confront that his focus had been off for years, the "systems first, people second" mindset that finally got him out of his own way, and why so many entrepreneurs think they're serving their families when they're really just serving their own ego. This one lives right at the center of the Lion and Lamb methodology, the drive and discipline to build something real, paired with the humility to release control before it costs you everything. In this episode:  Why founders who try to do everything themselves are the actual bottleneck in their business The delegation trap Dan calls "holding their shirt," and how it keeps teams from growing Why "I'm doing this for my family" is often a story entrepreneurs tell themselves How a heart attack forced Dan to rebuild his company — and himself — on purpose The difference between a leader who intimidates and one who protects Why "selfish" isn't a dirty word, and how taking care of yourself is what lets you actually serve others Where Dan's Lion still runs hot, and where the Lamb has saved him more than once Connect with Dan Sachkowsky Coaching: bigdcoaching.com If this episode challenged you, do us a favor and follow the show, leave a rating and review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. New episodes of One Part Lion, One Part Lamb drop weekly!

At 40, Marcus Aurelius Anderson was paralyzed from the neck down and, in his own words, suicidal. What finally moved him wasn't willpower, it was surrender. In this episode, Stephen sits down with Marcus Aurelius Anderson — Army veteran, author, speaker, and CEO of Catalyst International — to talk about the four months he spent fighting his own paralysis before he finally stopped resisting it. They dig into why adversity only shows its "gift" in hindsight, the difference between patience and hesitation, and why most leaders are the actual bottleneck in their own business. Marcus also breaks down two tools he uses with clients to stay regulated under real pressure: the "Hungry Judge" bias (how sleep, blood sugar, and fatigue quietly warp your decisions) and the parachute breath, a 30-second reset for people who don't have five minutes for box breathing. It's the Lion and Lamb methodology in action, the strength to keep pushing, paired with the humility to know when to let go. Marcus is the author of the new book Acta Non Verba ("actions, not words") and host of the Acta Non Verba podcast. Find him at marcusaureliusanderson.com. If this episode helped you, follow One Part Lion, One Part Lamb and leave a rating or review, it's the easiest way to help more people find the show! New episodes drop EVERY WEDNESDAY!

Your body knows if a room is safe before your brain even understands why. If you don't know what to do with that signal, it doesn't just disappear, it gets handed to the people who love you most. In this episode, Stephen sits down with Sara Hartley, ADHD and nervous system regulation coach and children's book author, to unpack the hidden physical sequence that happens in your body in the seconds before you snap, and the exact tool she built to interrupt it in under 60 seconds. It's the Lion and Lamb methodology in real time: the strength to lead and perform at a high level, paired with the humility to stop, name what's happening in your body, and choose a response instead of a reaction. What you'll learn in this episode: Why the people you love most usually get the worst of your dysregulation, and it's not because you don't love them The physical "sword and shield" sensation Stephen felt every time he was triggered, before he had a name for it The difference between fight, flight, freeze and fawn, and why some people fully disassociate and don't remember what happened The ALIGN method: the 5-step, under-60-second tool for shifting from reaction to response Why high-capacity leaders are so good at hiding dysfunction, and what it's actually costing them Why "you're not set in your ways, you're choosing to stay in your way" Episode Highlights: 0:00 Trailer 1:09 Welcome & meet Sara Hartley 4:36 Understanding triggers & dysregulation 22:20 The ALIGN Method: reaction to response in 60 seconds 28:01 Breaking patterns you've carried for decades 36:37 Sara's story: ADHD, burnout & Lyme disease 46:14 Why leaders hide dysfunction 58:22 Reframing ADHD as a superpower 1:01:40 Parenting & regulating at home 1:12:43 Sara's free tools, quiz & where to find her 1:16:37 Rapid fire round Connect with Sara Hartley: Website (free ALIGN resources, quiz & children's books): saralouishartley.com Instagram: @saralouishartley Connect with Stephen Scoggins: Website: stephenscoggins.com Instagram: instagram.com/stephen_scoggins TikTok: tiktok.com/@stephen_scoggins Facebook: facebook.com/stephenscoggins LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/stephenscoggins If this episode resonated with you, the best way to support the show is to follow One Part Lion, One Part Lamb wherever you're listening and leave a quick rating and review, it's what helps this conversation reach more high-capacity leaders who need to hear it!

Most people are chasing visibility while their credibility quietly runs out, and that gap once cost Dana Flanagan's entire team their paycheck. In this episode, Stephen sits down with Dana Flanagan, a real estate authority turned media strategist and founder of The Authority Architects, to unpack the real difference between being seen and being trusted. Dana shares the business partner whose visibility hid the fact he had no money, and the near-fatal car accident that later collapsed her timeline on everything else. It's the Lion and Lamb methodology in action, the conviction to walk away from a business built on facade, paired with the humility to drop the performer mask and lead from real service. We Unpack:  Why visibility without credibility cost her entire team their paycheck The moment "guru worship" started dying, and why that's a good thing How to niche down without losing business, and whether you can go too niche The "John Doe" method for writing copy that actually converts Why referrals and in-person trust beat advertising every time How to know if you or your content are actually ready for the spotlight The car accident that taught her "time is precious, do it now" Connect with Dana Flanagan: Burnout to Brilliance (book waitlist): Work with Dana (The Authority Architects): https://danaflanagan.com Connect with Stephen Scoggins: Website: https://stephenscoggins.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stephen_scoggins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephenscoggins If you got value from this episode, subscribe to One Part Lion, One Part Lamb wherever you listen, and leave a rating and review, it helps this show reach more high-capacity, faith-driven leaders!

Leaders who do deep soul-level work outperform everyone else by 20 to 1, and Joel Puthoff found his way into that number the hard way: sleeping in his car for a week just to make payroll. In this episode, Stephen sits down with Joel Puthoff, CEO and co-founder of Linxy and author of Capability Fuel, to talk about what actually separates leaders who build lasting capacity from those who just borrow it. Joel shares the season he nearly broke himself trying to keep his team paid, the reframe that got him through it, and the philosophy he's built out of it since: choose your hard, or hard will choose you. It's the Lion and Lamb methodology in action, the strength to keep building through the hardest seasons, paired with the humility to let those seasons actually change you. In this episode: The real story behind Joel sleeping in his car to make payroll, and why he calls it gratitude, not shame The difference between building capacity and borrowing it Why "choose your hard, or hard will choose you" should be your operating philosophy The study showing soul-level leaders outperform everyone else 20 to 1 How Stephen turned $4.68 into $468, and what it taught him about sacrifice The shift from performance to authenticity, and why Stephen calls it "truly magnetic" How Linxy is using technology to bring people back into real, in-person connection About Joel Puthoff: CEO and co-founder of Linxy, an app helping people make real, in-person connections at events and venues. He's also the author of Capability Fuel and co-host of the podcast Currents of Consciousness. Connect with Joel: linkedin.com/in/joelputhoff | Capability Fuel on Amazon: amazon.com/dp/0578864622 One Part Lion, One Part Lamb is hosted by Stephen Scoggins, helping faith-aligned, high-capacity leaders rise, lead, and serve without losing themselves in the process. New episodes drop weekly, subscribe so you never miss one! stephenscoggins.com | @stephen_scoggins

95% of people believe they're completely self-aware. Only 10% actually are, and that gap nearly cost this week's guest his business, his family, and his sanity. On this episode of One Part Lion, One Part Lamb, Stephen sits down with Lucas Sherraden, pastor turned real estate leader turned author of The Uncaged Leader, to unpack the hidden programming running underneath every decision we make. Lucas shares the moment his eighth-grade daughter's question exposed what was really driving his near-collapse in 2008, and the framework he now teaches leaders to help them see what they can't see in themselves. Together, they dig into why "the market" is almost never the real problem, how our own preferences quietly make decisions for us before we're even aware of it, and why the question "who must I become" matters more than "what must I do." It's the Lion and Lamb methodology in action: the strength to lead boldly, paired with the humility to actually look inward. In this episode, we unpack:  — The Harvard study on self-awareness that should unsettle every leader — The basketball gym moment that changed how Lucas saw his own business — The 5-second formula for practicing the pause before you react — The leadership archetypes keeping high-performers caged — How Lucas took a Kansas City brokerage from #6 to #1 in two years Lucas Sherraden is the author of The Uncaged Leader and a former pastor turned real estate leadership coach. Learn more here. If this episode challenged you, follow One Part Lion, One Part Lamb so you don't miss what's next, and if you've got 30 seconds, a quick rating and review helps this show reach more leaders who need to hear it.