all I want for Christmas is a RING! - the pre-engagement psychosis

Show your nails some love with https://iloveislashop.com Use code FALL10 to get 10% off your first order.Become a Paid Subscriber and get Uninterrupted Episodes: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/manifestelle/subscribeFull show notes, sources, and transcript + exclusive content 💌: https://manifestelle.substack.comFollow me on IG and Tiktok: manifestelleIn this episode, we cover the phenomenon of women "going crazy" when waiting to be engaged. This is due to programming that teaches women to be male-centered and base their self-worth on their affiliation with men. This programmed obsession manifests in the pre-engagement psychosis which presents during a period of time when a woman feels that a proposal is imminent. The goal of the episode is to validate women’s desire to be engaged/married while giving actionable advice as to how to alleviate this obsession and feelings of guilt for not yet being engaged/married. The bottom line is it is understandable why women are obsessed with getting engaged.

Show your nails some love with https://iloveislashop.com Use code FALL10 to get 10% off your first order.Become a Paid Subscriber and get Uninterrupted Episodes: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/manifestelle/subscribeFull show notes, sources, and transcript + exclusive content 💌: https://manifestelle.substack.comFollow me on IG and Tiktok: manifestelleIn this episode we dismantle the myth of the "biological clock" and challenges the deeply gendered discourse around fertility and aging.We explore how the concept was weaponized against women beginning in the 1980s as they entered the workforce in greater numbers, and reveal that men also have a biological clock—something rarely discussed in mainstream conversations. We also talk about the troubling rise of terms like "hitting the wall"—originally fringe misogynistic slang, now normalized in everyday discourse—and argues that reducing anyone to their reproductive capacity is dehumanizing. Ultimately, Elle calls for better research, less shame, and a rejection of value systems that equate human worth with fertility, reminding listeners that biology just is—it doesn't define our value.keywords: biological clock myth, women's fertility and age, men's biological clock, paternal age effects, advanced maternal age, hitting the wall debunked, sperm quality decline with age, male fertility research, DNA fragmentation in older fathers, selfish sperm hypothesis, reproductive aging in men and women, geriatric pregnancy facts, feminist critique of biological clock, patriarchal control of women's bodies, age-related infertility causes, misogyny and fertility discourse, women's value beyond reproduction, egg reserve and ovarian aging, menopause and perimenopause care, advanced paternal age risks, pregnancy complications older fathers, autism and paternal age, chromosomal abnormalities aging eggs, male factor infertility statistics, TikTok biological clock discourse

Show your nails some love with https://iloveislashop.com Use code FALL10 to get 10% off your first order.Become a Paid Subscriber and get Uninterrupted Episodes: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/manifestelle/subscribeFull show notes, sources, and transcript + exclusive content 💌: https://manifestelle.substack.comFollow me on IG and Tiktok: manifestelleIn this episode, Elle explores the gender sleep gap and its connection to the viral soft life trend. She examines how women experience poorer sleep quality and more insomnia symptoms than men due to both biological factors and social pressures, particularly the unequal burden of unpaid domestic labor. Elle traces the origins of the soft life movement. While the trend originally centered on women recognizing their inherent worth beyond productivity, Elle critiques how it has been aestheticized and co-opted into problematic narratives about dependence and economic insecurity. Ultimately, she argues for reclaiming the soft life's original meaning—that women deserve rest, comfort, and safety without earning it through exhaustion—and encourages listeners to resist the sinister pipelines that distort women-created concepts into tools that strip away their agency.keywords: gender sleep gap, soft life controversy, women's sleep quality, insomnia in women, unpaid domestic labor gender gap, mental load women, soft life trend origins, gender differences in sleep,TikTok soft life, bed rotting trend, tech neck solutions, work from home wellness, self-care philosophy, rest as resistance, women supporting women

Show your nails some love with https://iloveislashop.com Use code FALL10 to get 10% off your first order.Become a Paid Subscriber and get Uninterrupted Episodes: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/manifestelle/subscribeFull show notes, sources, and transcript + exclusive content 💌: https://manifestelle.substack.comFollow me on IG and Tiktok: manifestelleIn this episode, Elle explores the viral British Vogue question "Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?" and traces how we went from peak boyfriend culture—when relationships were social currency and partners were posted constantly—to today's "boyfriend denial" era. She examines the shift from hard-launching relationships on Facebook in 2011 to soft-launching in 2021, and now to hiding partners entirely. Elle discusses three key reasons why women have become "bearish on boyfriends": fear of appearing male-centered, belief in the "evil eye," and viewing relationships as potential "humiliation rituals" in an era of heteropessimism. However, she argues that while boyfriend culture may be declining, we're now seeing a surge in "husband culture," with women increasingly bullish on marriage and commitment. Ultimately, Elle reminds us that decentering men doesn't mean denying ourselves love—it means refusing to let romantic partnerships become the only story worth telling about who we are.Substack articles mentioned:""my bf said he'll get me [something expensive] if this post gets [an insane amount of] views" by Elle Ray - https://manifestelle.substack.com/p/my-bf-said-hell-get-me-something"Pop Enters Its Wife Era" by Catherine Shannon - https://catherineshannon.substack.com/p/pop-enters-its-wife-eraKeywords:boyfriend culture, end of boyfriend culture, is having a boyfriend embarrassing, British Vogue boyfriend article, hiding boyfriends online, soft launching relationships, relationship social media trends, decentering men, male-centered relationships, boyfriend denial culture, heteropessimism, relationship humiliation rituals, evil eye relationships, posting boyfriends on social media, girlfriend culture 2025, wife era trend, husband culture, relationship goals social media, boyfriend fashion trend, boyfriend jeans cultural meaning, social capital relationships, patriarchal bargains relationships, women's worth and relationships, Instagram boyfriend posts, fear of being male-centered, relationship content creators, protecting relationships from evil eye, Lana Del Rey husband of mine, Raye where is my husband, pop music wife era, situationship culture

Show your nails some love with https://iloveislashop.com Use code FALL10 to get 10% off your first order.Become a Paid Subscriber and get Uninterrupted Episodes: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/manifestelle/subscribeFull show notes, sources, and transcript + exclusive content 💌: https://manifestelle.substack.comFollow me on IG and Tiktok: manifestelleIn this episode, Elle explores the dark legacy of witch hunts and how they continue to shape modern attitudes toward women. Drawing on Mona Chollet's In Defense of Witches, she examines four archetypes that were targeted during the Renaissance witch persecutions and remain under scrutiny today: the independent woman who lives outside male authority, the childless woman who refuses reproduction, the aging woman whose wisdom threatens social order, and the woman of knowledge whose expertise challenges established power. Elle traces how these historical persecutions established cultural scripts that still operate through stigma, invisibility, and medical dismissal rather than literal flames. She argues that reclaiming what was once feared in women—independence, wisdom, age, and autonomy—is essential to breaking free from internalized witch-hunt thinking and turning individual liberation into collective power.keywords: witch hunts history, Renaissance witch trials, women's independence stigma, childless women stigma, single women discrimination, aging women society, ageism against women, female healers history, midwives witch trials, women's knowledge persecution, Mona Chollet In Defense of Witches, women's autonomy, patriarchal control women, feminist history, women's reproductive rights history, maternal mortality crisis, wellness industry women, independent women cultural narratives, witch archetype feminism, female empowerment historical context, gendered ageism, women's healthcare disparities, historical persecution women, modern witch hunts legacy, women's bodily autonomy, feminism and witchcraft, reclaiming witch identity, women's collective power.

Show your nails some love with https://iloveislashop.com Use code FALL10 to get 10% off your first order.Become a Paid Subscriber and get Uninterrupted Episodes: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/manifestelle/subscribeFull show notes, sources, and transcript + exclusive content 💌: https://manifestelle.substack.comFollow me on IG and Tiktok: manifestellelina’s substack - https://substack.com/@jeysjournals“Often I Yearn for Campus” by Catherine Shannon - https://open.substack.com/pub/catherineshannon/p/often-i-yearn-for-campusIn this episode, Elle explores why women are increasingly drawn to intellectual pursuits: building personal curriculums, romanticizing bookstores, and treating reading like a sacred practice. She argues this "academic-fication" of women's interests is a direct response to rising anti-intellectualism, supported by data showing Americans reading significantly less over the past two decades. Elle emphasizes that reading isn't just an aesthetic; It's essential exercise for the mind that builds empathy, nuance, and critical thinking. The episode closes with practical advice for joining the "anti-anti-intellectualism club," including how to create your own personal curriculum and start a commonplace journal to slow down scrolling and deepen engagement with ideas.keywords: Women yearning for academia, academic-fication of women's interests, anti-anti-intellectualism club, personal curriculum for women, bookish girl aesthetic, intellectual feminine energy, reading culture decline America, why women are romanticizing education, bookshelf wealth trend, commonplace journal method, building a personal curriculum, intellectual self-care for women, hot smart woman era, rise of anti-intellectualism, reading statistics 2023, literary fiction and empathy, cognitive benefits of reading, women creating self-made academia, silent reading nights aesthetic, Substack personal column renaissance, journaling ritual for intellectual growth, bookish fall girl guide, how to start commonplacing, fountain pen journaling aesthetic, reading as mental exercise, nuance and critical thinking through books, women leading intellectual resistance, TikTok personal curriculum trend, parmesanprincessx curriculum, capstone project ideas, intellectual community for women, depth over algorithmic content, slowcore reading movement, literary sophistication women.

Become a Paid Subscriber and get Uninterrupted Episodes: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/manifestelle/subscribeFull show notes, sources, and transcript + exclusive content 💌: https://manifestelle.substack.comFollow me on IG and Tiktok: manifestelleIn this episode, Elle dives into the difference between being alone and being lonely—and how to transform solitude into something meaningful. She shares her own story and explains how that loneliness stemmed from not truly knowing herself. Elle walks listeners through practical ways to build a rich inner life. The episode reminds us that loneliness often points to gaps in community or self-connection—and that by becoming excellent company to ourselves, we can turn quiet moments into sources of peace rather than pain.keywords: How to be alone without feeling lonely, overcoming loneliness, difference between loneliness and solitude, embracing solitude, creating a rich inner life, mental health and loneliness, self-discovery practices, dealing with isolation, loneliness epidemic solutions, building meaningful self-relationship, mindfulness and alone time, intentional solitude practices, combating loneliness through self-care, emotional wellness strategies, finding peace in being alone, self-companionship techniques, loneliness vs being alone, personal growth through solitude, inner peace practices, self-awareness exercises, managing loneliness after life transitions, building emotional resilience, mindful living practices, self-love and solitude, transforming loneliness into growth, creating daily rituals for self-connection, journaling for self-discovery, digital detox benefits, solo activities for personal enrichment, developing emotional intelligence, healing from loneliness, finding joy in your own company.

Become a Paid Subscriber and get Uninterrupted Episodes: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/manifestelle/subscribeFull show notes, sources, and transcript + exclusive content 💌: https://manifestelle.substack.comFollow me on IG and Tiktok: manifestelleIn this week's episode, Elle takes a deep dive into the "performative male epidemic" - a cultural phenomenon that's generating buzz across social media. She explores how today's matcha-wielding, bell hooks-reading men are just the latest in a historical lineage of alternative masculine displays, from Elvis to hippies to hipsters. Drawing fascinating parallels to "sneaker males" in evolutionary biology, Elle examines how these performative behaviors function as mating strategies. While acknowledging some positive aspects, she ultimately warns viewers about the disconnect between performance and authentic values, encouraging women to trust their pattern recognition abilities when navigating relationships. This thought-provoking episode blends cultural analysis, scientific research, and practical advice about discernment in the modern dating landscape.keywords:performative male epidemic, male display cultures, sneaker males, alternative reproductive tactics, matcha-wielding men, bell hooks readers, feminist performativity, dating red flags, Jordan Theresa, women's discernment, pattern recognition in relationships, mimicry in human behavior, satellite males in human relationships, evolutionary biology mating strategies, male feminist performance, authentic male feminism, nice guy syndrome, wife guy, power of discernment, evolutionary psychology dating, female mimics human behavior

Show your nails some love with https://iloveislashop.com Use code SUMMER10 to get 10% off your first order. Become a Paid Subscriber and get Uninterrupted Episodes: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/manifestelle/subscribeFull show notes, sources, and transcript + exclusive content 💌: https://manifestelle.substack.comFollow me on IG and Tiktok: manifestelleIn this episode, Elle explores what female bonobos can teach us about creating more peaceful societies through solidarity. Dispelling the myth that bonobos simply refused to mate with aggressive males, Elle reveals research showing that female bonobos actually built coalitions to protect each other, reducing male aggression despite males being physically larger. Elle weaves together evolutionary biology, feminist theory, and cultural examples to demonstrate how women have always shaped human evolution. Drawing from Cat Bohannon's "Eve" and Adrienne Rich's writings, the episode makes a powerful case for women's collective power to create a more peaceful future through intentional choices and solidarity.keywords: bonobos female dominance, female power in primates, concealed ovulation evolution, bonobo matriarchal society, female coalition formation, Surbeck bonobos study, evolutionary biology women, Cat Bohannon Eve book, reproductive control hypothesis, female solidarity primates, mate selection evolution, biological basis aggression, warrior gene MAOA, female evolutionary selection, women shaping human evolution, reproductive agency women, Adrienne Rich feminist theory, matriarchal societies, peaceful primate societies, female choice reproductive strategy

Siren Theory Podcast - https://open.spotify.com/show/7Lw0ZbKitqNVWH3jj0apo5?si=N37vM5QxQemJXQzSgllCEQShow your nails some love with https://iloveislashop.com Use code SPRING10 to get 10% off your first order. (featured in the video: xxx)Become a Paid Subscriber and get Uninterrupted Episodes: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/manifestelle/subscribeFull show notes, sources, and transcript + exclusive content 💌: https://manifestelle.substack.comFollow me on IG and Tiktok: manifestelleIn this episode, Elle dissects the viral TikTok trend where women post videos claiming "my boyfriend said he'll get me [something expensive] if this gets [insane amount] views." Elle examines how these social media challenges function as modern humiliation rituals that normalize below-minimum relationship standards. She shares a striking example where an influencer purchased Coach bags for a creator whose husband set impossible conditions, illustrating how these trends reveal societal issues around women's worth. Elle concludes with her signature wisdom: "You don't need a rich man. You need a generous man," emphasizing that women deserve partners who materialize their desires when capable, rather than subjecting them to public challenges for basic consideration.