Open Dialogue: Sex Advice For Seniors

When I first heard about The Phoenix, I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect. The name alone conjures images of grandeur—something mythical, rising from the ashes. Turns out, that’s pretty fitting. It’s a device designed to breathe new life into men’s sexual health, and Dustin Wolff, the co-founder of Launch Medical, joined me to explain how it all works.Dustin is one of those people you warm to immediately—enthusiastic, knowledgeable, and genuinely motivated by a desire to help people. He explained how his journey began in a wellness clinic in Los Angeles, where he saw countless men struggling with performance issues. The solution at the time was in-clinic sound wave treatments, but they were expensive, awkward, and not exactly accessible to everyone. That’s when Dustin started to wonder: could this technology be brought into the home? And so The Phoenix was born.The concept is simple but fascinating: soundwaves break down plaque buildup in blood vessels, improving blood flow and addressing one of the root causes of erectile dysfunction. It’s a non-invasive treatment, safe to use at home, and—importantly—avoids the embarrassment of a clinical setting. Dustin described it as “a tool in your toolkit,” emphasising that it’s not a magic fix but part of a broader commitment to health and wellness. Think of it like going to the gym—but for your… well, you get the idea.One thing that stood out was the range of people using The Phoenix. It’s not just for older men with erectile dysfunction—Dustin mentioned younger men in their 30s and 40s, even biohackers and fitness enthusiasts, who are using it to stay ahead of the game. It’s about optimisation, performance, and, ultimately, confidence. Of course, there are challenges. Marketing a legitimate medical device for sexual health isn’t easy in a world where taboos are still alive and well. Dustin shared that even platforms like Shark Tank weren’t willing to feature the device because of its “adult” nature. It’s frustrating, especially when you consider how essential this kind of innovation is. We also spoke about the bigger picture—how The Phoenix fits into a holistic approach to wellness. Diet, exercise, and overall health are all part of the equation. Dustin admitted he’s not a saint (he’s partial to pizza and ice cream on Sundays), but he emphasised the importance of balance. It’s not just about treating symptoms; it’s about fostering long-term health and vitality.The Phoenix is more than a device—it’s part of a larger shift in how we think about aging, intimacy, and wellbeing. And while the road ahead might be challenging for Dustin and his team, it’s clear they’re making a real impact. If nothing else, The Phoenix is helping men regain confidence and connection in their relationships, and that’s something we can all celebrate.For those curious, I’d recommend checking out their website. It’s a fascinating innovation, and who knows? It might just be the spark you—or someone you know—needs.Launch Medical are offering Sex Advice for Seniors Listeners $100 off the Phoenix if you use code SUZ100. Click here.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Sexual Health Technology02:59 The Phoenix Device: Concept and Development06:03 Understanding the Treatment Protocol09:08 The Importance of Overall Health11:59 Cost Comparison: Phoenix vs. Clinic Treatments15:03 Marketing Challenges in Sexual Health18:04 Insurance and Regulatory Challenges18:39 Navigating Regulatory Challenges in Health Tech21:49 The Rise of Preventative Medicine24:01 The Phoenix: A Tool for Sexual Health27:29 Combining Technologies for Optimal Results30:12 Pioneering a New Era in Home Health DevicesIf you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my new 32 page booklet, Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life, my private chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber! Your sex life will thank you for it. :)Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £6.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn’t just a hobby—it’s my passion and profession.Thousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you’ll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better SexYour subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.What others are saying:"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.” Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

I’ve known Sam Evans, owner of sexual pleasure shop JoDivine.com for nearly 20 years, back to when she first launched her shop with her husband, and gifted me a toy to try out and review on my first blog, suzanneportnoy.com.Since then, Sam has become a popular spokesperson on social media, advocating for women’s sexual health, especially during one’s menopausal years. As a former nurse, she has more knowledge than many others in the sex toy industry, and as a result, she receives hundreds of enquiries from women who are confused or received poor information when struggling with menopausal conditions such as vaginal atrophy, recurrent UTIs, low libido. In response, she has written numerous articles related to women’s and men’s sexual health, which you can read on the JoDivine website.I was keen to catch up with Sam to dive into the often-overlooked topics of menopause, sexual health, and the importance of quality sexual wellness products. We discussed the challenges faced by menopausal women, the significance of vaginal estrogen, and the latest innovations in sex toys. Our conversation emphasised the need for awareness regarding product ingredients and the importance of community education in navigating sexual health. Sam is offering Sex Advice for Seniors subscribers a discount on any products in the store:Your 10% discount code is SAS210 (£5 minimum spend on full priced products excluding P&P) ENDS 25/8/2500:00 Introduction and Background01:55 Menopause and Sexual Health05:58 Vaginal Estrogen and Its Importance09:56 Sex Toy Innovations and Trends12:03 Navigating Sexual Health Products19:58 The Importance of Ingredient Awareness26:07 Community Engagement and EducationIf you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my new 32 page booklet, Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life, my private chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber! Your sex life will thank you for it. :)Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £6.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn’t just a hobby—it’s my passion and profession.Thousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you’ll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better SexYour subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.What others are saying:"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.” Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Imago Relationship Theory claims we all have a mental "dating app" in our subconscious where the algorithm is secretly set to "parental lookalike mode."Essentially, we swipe right on people who remind us of our parents—because why not add a sprinkle of childhood trauma to the romance cocktail, right? Shan Marchant is a couples therapist and relationship expert, who you might recognise from the BBC’s Point of View, or her writing for Metro.She uses Imago Relationship Therapy, after witnessing its ability to repair and revive her own 13+ year relationship. During our conversation we delve into why we often choose partners who resemble one or both of our parents as these familiar traits spark chemistry, but the twist is that we’re not just looking for love; we’re signing up for a self-improvement bootcamp. According to Harville Hendrix and his partner Helen, who invented Imago, relationships are less about happily-ever-after and more about healing those childhood wounds. So, if your partner seems oddly familiar, congratulations—you’ve matched with your Imago! Time for the work to begin…You can find Shan here: https://www.shanmerchant.com/If you enjoy our conversation, let me know!00:00 Introduction to Imago Therapy and Its Concepts02:55 Navigating Power Struggles in Relationships06:13 The Importance of Prioritising Your Partner08:48 Recognising Relationship Patterns and Taking Action11:56 Reigniting Desire and Intimacy Over Time14:57 Understanding Infidelity and Its Implications18:11 The Role of Couples Therapy in Modern Relationships20:59 Building Emotional Intelligence in Relationships23:56 The Journey of Self-Acceptance and Affection26:57 Conclusion and Resources for CouplesIf you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my new 32 page booklet, Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life, my private chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber! Your sex life will thank you for it. :)Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £6.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn’t just a hobby—it’s my passion and profession.Thousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you’ll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better SexYour subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.What others are saying:"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.” Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Austin Cresap is therapist specialising in sex therapy and sex education in Seattle, Washington, and Hawaii.In this conversation, she shared some fantastic ideas and practical tips for making intimacy easier, more playful and that takes the pressure out of who initiates sex. She talked about using a secret signal, like a coffee cup, to indicate interest in intimacy. Austin also introduced the "No, but…" approach, as a way of overcoming the challenge of mismatched libidos - a more thoughtful way to reject an act without rejecting your partner, keeping the connection intact.For me, preparation is a big part of intimacy. Whether it’s putting on something that makes me feel attractive, doing my hair, or just mentally getting into the mood, it’s all part of the process. I also made the case for scheduling intimacy and we discussed why it’s not unromantic. As we discussed, we schedule everything else in life, so why not prioritise time for connection? What really resonated with me was how creativity can transform intimacy. Whether it’s playful signals like the coffee cup, role-playing, or simply planning ahead, it’s all about keeping things fresh and fun. As Austin pointed out, these approaches help couples navigate busy lives and different arousal styles, making intimacy less about spontaneity and more about meaningful connection. You can find Austin at:http://www.icameheretotalktherapy.com00:00 Introduction to Sex Advice for Seniors01:54 Exploring Intimacy and Nonverbal Cues12:20 Understanding Female Hormones and Sexuality19:33 Cultural Perspectives on Aging and Sexuality26:00 The Pressure of Performance in Sexual Relationships30:10 Creative Approaches to IntimacyIf you enjoyed our conversation, let me know! I love to hear from my listeners (and it doesn’t happen often enough). If you’ve found any of the tips on this or any of my shows helpful, a review on iTunes would go a very long way.If you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my new 32 page booklet, Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life, my private chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber! Your sex life will thank you for it. :)Thousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you’ll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex.Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £6.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn’t just a hobby—it’s my passion and profession.Your subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.What others are saying:"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.” Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

One of the perks of my job is having the opportunity to try out a multitude of sex toys, many of which made it into my booklet and the people behind their creation. Suki Dunham is the co-founder of OhMiBod, one of my sponsors, and is a pioneer in a predominantly male industry. During our conversation, we talk about her early days as a sex tech entrepreneur, the challenges of marketing sexual health products and the future of sex toys, especially around the integration of AI. I’m a great believer that sex toys are there to enhance sexual pleasure and aren’t in competition with penises and vaginas but rather a way to increase stimulation, especially at an age when both women and men may find it difficult to orgasm. All the OhMiBod products are incredibly well made and safe, and there are even toys such as the LoveLife Rev that Suki has designed especially for people with arthritis who may find more traditional toys challenging to grip. Suki is offering Sex Advice for Seniors followers: USE CODE SAFS20 for 20% off of Lovelifetoys.com.If you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my new 32 page booklet, Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life, my private chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber! Your sex life will thank you for it. :)Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £6.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn’t just a hobby—it’s my passion and profession.Thousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you’ll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better SexYour subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.What others are saying:"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.” Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Indigo Stray Conger has been a therapist since 2008 and has completed over a decade of therapeutic training. She is one of less than ten AASECT certified sex therapists at a supervisory level in the state of Colorado.During our conversation, we delve into what somatic psychotherapy entails and also the role of EMDR in trauma healing, and the challenges of intimacy in relationships.As we discuss, trauma can turn up in relationships in many forms can impact on both the psychological and physical barriers to intimacy, which can prevent singles and couples from fully exploring the many ways to experience sexual pleasure.EMDR is a tool I have used myself to try and overcome phobias and also behaviours that don’t serve me well. If you’re unfamiliar with the technique, EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing is most commonly used to treat PTSD, but now is used to solve a range of issues. It involves recalling the traumatic episode, or the particular fear, and then through specific eye movements and some other type of stimulation (talking, for example), the brain reprocesses the memory and reduces its significance in your mind. It may sound woo-woo, but it’s actually not and very quickly can help in situations where the traumatic episode is quite specific (at least, that was my own experience).We also touch on the importance of consent, proper sex eduction and how sexual orientations such as asexuality and demisexuality are gaining recognition.You can find Indigo here:https://milehighpsychotherapy.com/meet-the-therapistsIf you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my new 32 page booklet, Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life, my private chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber! Your sex life will thank you for it. :)Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £6.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn’t just a hobby—it’s my passion and profession.Thousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you’ll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex.Your subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.What others are saying:"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.” Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

What happens when you’re no longer having sex in a relationship and is there a space for a different type of intimacy when sexual intercourse is no longer present in it.This is the topic I discussed with Leora Lightwoman, whom I have met previously, both on the show and in real life! As a tantric practitioner, Leora is familiar with meeting couples whom struggle with sexual desire but want to remain intimate with each other.We delve into the liberation from traditional sexual roles, the importance of redefining sexual energy and connection, and the need to create space for intimacy. Leora emphasises curiosity and mystery in long-term relationships, the challenges of communication, and the significance of making intimacy a priority. She also highlights the importance of playfulness, devotion, and honouring the body as it changes, ultimately celebrating transformation and new beginnings in sexual relationships.I enjoyed hearing her practical tips for how to build and sustain a close relationship with one’s partner. Thousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you’ll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex.If you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my new and well received 32 page booklet, Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life, my private chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber! Your sex life will thank you for it. :)Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £6.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn’t just a hobby—it’s my passion and profession.Your subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.What others are saying:"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.” Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

If you’re not a frequent TikTok user, you may have missed the buzz around the hashtag #bushtok, a lively debate about whether to embrace a full lady garden, opt for a Hollywood (take it all off), or go Brazilian (leave a small landing strip).Most of the women weighing in on this debate are younger, many of whom likely grew up in the shadow of pornography. Let’s be honest, unless you’re into vintage 70s ‘Behind the Green Door’ type material, pubic hair is rarely seen on performers. This cultural backdrop fuels the assumption that pubic hair serves no purpose (which it absolutely does) and, therefore, should come off.But the resurgence of the bush signals a shift. Women are waking up to the idea that they do have a choice when it comes to their pubic hair, and many are choosing to keep it.For us older women, it’s a different story. Some of my friends have never touched it, while others prefer to take it all off. In Cap d’Agde, the naturist village I’ve often visited in France, the trend is clear: French women of all ages go for the full Hollywood, total hair removal, no matter what their age. In fact, it’s rare to see anyone there with pubic hair, as both men and women have embraced the completely hairless look.This week on the podcast, I sit down with Sam Feldman, author of Hookups, Hiccups, and Happenstances, to share our opinions on pubic hair. And let me tell you—you might be surprised by where Sam stands on it all!Thousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you’ll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex.If you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my new 32 page booklet, Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life, my private chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber! Your sex life will thank you for it. :)Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £6.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn’t just a hobby—it’s my passion and profession.Your subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.What others are saying:"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.”Hookups, Hiccups, and Happenstances is a collection of erotic short stories that capture the spirit of the era when attitudes toward sex were being redefined. Set in the wild, libertine world of the 60s and 70s, Sam’s stories follow the character of Butch, a man admired by both men and women for his unapologetic embrace of sexual freedom. The book explores encounters that celebrate human desire, autonomy, and mutual pleasure, offering a refreshing and boundary-pushing perspective on relationships.You can buy it here.Find Sam on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sam.l.feldman Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe