Reflecting on What is Learned

Tova Rotleng-Cohen lived through the tragedies of war as a very young, blue eyed, blonde Jewish girl living in Poland, and later, in Palenstine in the 1930s. Yes, you are right. This was immediately before the German army marched into Poland at the start of WWII. Fortunately for Tova, her Grand Father, Isaac Meyer Goldwin, who lived in Norway, persuaded Tova’s parents to send her, quickly, to Palestine. He recognized a war was on the verge and sent a ticket for Tova to have a means to get to Isreal. This act by a Grandfather that she never met saved Tova’s life. Because of this, she survived, but the atrocities of the Holocaust impacted every other Jewish relative living Poland. They were never seen again. Tova grew up in a family that lived with the guilt that they were the only family members that survived the Holocaust. To be happy in her home was considered a sin. It was too difficult. Tova tells her story of how she unexpectedly reunites with the memories of her grandfather and was given an opportunity to give tribute to him. Her story is expressed with memories of uncertainties in her lifetime and how she exercised hope and belief to overcome her many life challenges. Tova points out how the polio pandemic of her time concerned many but it didn’t last forever. A reminder that today’s COVID epidemic also will not be forever in today’s world. Hope and belief are paramount when coping with the many challenges that life brings us. Tova shares with us these important virtues that will also serve each of us when the unexpected and uncontrollable circumstances occur in our futures. Senior Wisdom is ready to share another “Golden Nugget” so adjust the volume on your laptop or handheld device and soak in to a conversation with Tova Rotleng-Cohen.

Seeing tragedy as a child of five years old is a scary and confusing experience that left many questions in Marcella Hart’s young mind. Marcella talks about the feelings and sense of knowing that she had when asked to go to the funeral of her friends that lost their lives when their father’s depression saw no other way out. Young Marcella knew that a big price was paid through the deaths of her friends and their family. It was an easy way out but not the right way. The gift of life goes way beyond how our society measures success and happiness. The amazing gifts of existence are wrapped up in the gray areas of life. Mistakes are only learning experiences, a beginning of an awareness of new ways to look at our circumstances and a stepping stone to our next chapter in life. Although Marcella hasn’t completely unraveled the mysteries and lessons behind these tragic events, she defies accepting the external circumstances. She makes herself available to discover the deeper meaning and message by not judging tragedy and being ok with quietly sitting while not knowing the answer.

Marcella is about to share with me memories of a great opportunity as a 17-year old followed by a tremendous disappointment. She is very grateful for her past experience and understands that not being in control with the outcome of a situation is not the correct attitude. We have a choice on how to react when disappointments occur. Marcella is truly grateful for this experience. She suggested that we always keep asking ourselves: What can we learn from situations that we experience? Humility is a big deal and there is other unexpected value that we can learn from when we let go of one perspective and choose another.

Having a mentor that helps our growing youth or offers wisdom and guidance as an adult is not always available to everyone. Ed Bonner’s past is different. He really hit a home run. Ed has had three mentors in his life. His Dad was a tremendous influence to him and his friends. He was a teacher, counselor and coach; all wrapped up into one. Not only was his Dad a beacon for Ed, but he had two more mentors. Jack Sanchez (HS track coach and teacher) and an elderly gentleman by the name of Paul Yokote also provided guidance, wisdom and an example of what good can be gleaned from life with the right attitude and reasoning. Polio changed Paul’s life at 13 years old. Ed remembers Paul Yokote as a wheel chair bound gentleman who didn’t complain or consider his health circumstances as a restriction. Great opportunities found their way to Paul. Ed feels that Paul’s behavior, his enthusiasm and attitude inspired everyone; to such a degree that one of the High School buildings was given his name. All these gentlemen in Ed’s life presented a tremendous gift to those that came in contact with them; the gift of giving, a contagious attitude and an unconditional acceptance to others.

Allen Archer is a retired Californian that exercises his passion by working at the County Library in Nevada County, California. He leads the library in promoting and supporting literacy programs to help motivated youth and adults, the blind and visually impaired individuals in improving their reading skills. He remembers what it was like, as a youth, to be a below average reader and how his attitude and determination provided the perseverance necessary to develop his reading skills. Allen’s gift is to encourage the key to success; the ability to communicate through written words.

Gary Quayle has always been motivated to achieve, maybe to his detriment. His professional choices lead him to the education professions and found himself in Washington D.C. Just when he was at his career peak, he was asked to part ways with his Washington employer. At 52 years old he had to start over. After moving to San Francisco and always coming in second in his job searches, Gary started his own company. He learned that even if your life seems to fall apart, listening to people and exercising patience, wisdom, insight and tenacity will carry you through your worst times. Everyone is on their own journey.

At 84 years young and a tall, 6 foot two inch healthy set of bones, Lowe Robinson reminisces his early years working on the family farm. There were no tractors, only horse power and Lowe had to do most of it by hand. Horses pulled the hay to the barn. Once at the barn, Lowe would hoist the hay up and into the barn. Probably the best fuel for those hard working days was his grandma’s lunches; the best lunches around. At the end of the day, Lowe walked away with a hard earned dollar and satisfaction of a job well done. When 14 years old and in high school, Lowe had contacted the local ranchers and found out that they could use a hand bailer. It would really make life easier for everyone. Well, Lowe and his Dad took a drive one day down to Marysville, California and then over to Reno, Nevada to buy the vehicles that they would use to assemble a solution to the ranchers hay issues. He and his Dad used their heads and hands to make an improvement on this important need. Making a buck requires looking for an opportunity by really listening to people. Somebody always needs something. Everything is possible. Lowe says, “Be the first one to wake up each morning and the last one to go to bed.”

Getting married wasn’t on the mind of Lew Sitzer until after returning from his civil rights project in Mississippi and civilian tour in the war torn country of Vietnam. Those experiences left Lew pretty bruised by the harshness that he observed. Returning to America he met his wife and was married in 1969. Life as a couple had many plateaus. Lew and Eddie kidded that they had gone through 2-4 divorces and 2-4 marriages in working through their shared circumstances. Lew rededicated himself to his marriage on their 20th anniversary. He told me that he learned what love really is from his wife. Marriage is where he experienced a lasting persistence, a trust, intimacy that only comes from closeness between two people. Struggles associated with bringing up children and building a home with limited finances presented opportunity that ultimately strengthened his relationship with Eddie. Today, Lew misses his wife of 44 years. He recognizes that love really has provided a purpose, direction and meaning to his life. This love lives forever.

Things have really changed since May Lawrence was a child in northern Maine. Back in the day, May’s small town home had no electricity or running water in the house. Her family’s water well not only provided her family with water but also became a popular resource for the entire neighborhood. May’s father took a train to work every day. Telephones were found in town only. There were no televisions and cell phone and iPads had not even been dreamed about. There was a lot of poverty in this small Maine town but no one knew that they lacked anything. May’s household was a happy place. She has always appreciated what she has but realizes now that she can be very happy in her life with a lot less than she lives with today. It’s important to not take what we do have for granted.

Jerry and May Lawrence have been married for 59 years and life couldn’t be better. He remembers first meeting his wife, May, while registering at Los Angeles State College. Each had signed up for a class on “Growth and Development of Early Human Life”. Well, one thing leads to another. Sharing ideas on one of their school projects created opportunities for time together and it wasn’t long before Jerry really knew he wanted to marry May. The main problem that seemed insurmountable at the time was marrying outside his Jewish faith. Now, it’s 59 years later and you can guess how this story goes. Jerry and May have had a wonderful 59 years of life together; traveling, lots of interests, really an ideal situation.