Episode 22 - Behaviour is communicating

Not all support is helpful support. In this bite-size episode of Roots and Resilience, Mandie and Laura share their top five tips for spotting therapy and support that genuinely work for therapeutic parents, foster carers, adoptive parents, kinship carers and special guardians.If you’ve ever left a professional meeting feeling judged, overloaded or unheard, this one is for you. Mandie and Laura cover:✅ Why support must look after the parent’s nervous system, not just the child’s needs✅ How to build a team around the parent, not just the child✅ Why therapy needs to be practical, not theoretical (including banking scripts and one-liners for tricky moments)✅ Why support should validate your experience without judgment✅ How good therapy strengthens connection rather than compliancePlus a bonus “top tip 5.5” on why consistency and predictability in your therapist or support matters. You’ll also hear why you have a voice in choosing the right therapy for your child and for you, and what to do if the support you’ve been offered isn’t the right fit.Who it’s for: Therapeutic parents, foster carers, adoptive parents, kinship carers, special guardians, and the professionals who support them.💬 Have a question for the R&R Exchange next week? Email us at [email protected] you found this helpful, please like, follow, subscribe and share with another parent who needs it.

Grief and loss are part of therapeutic parenting, whether you’re fostering, adopting, a special guardian or parenting a neurodivergent child you never expected to raise this way. In this episode of Roots and Resilience, Laura Taylor and Mandie explore the many branches of grief that therapeutic parents and carers experience, and give you space to acknowledge them.Content note: this episode covers grief and bereavement and may be emotionally difficult. Please take care of yourself while you listen.In this episode:The grief of the family you thought you’d have, including not being able to have birth childrenLoss of identity as a parent, and how therapeutic parenting changes who you thought you’d bePredictable and unpredictable losses, from the death of a loved one or pet to the empty nest, and the unexpected family rifts that can follow special guardianshipFoster care losses, including children moving on and difficult endingsWhy one-sided, non-reciprocal relationships with traumatised children can lead to compassion fatigue and burnoutParental guilt, and why grief and guilt shouldn’t be bundled togetherGrieving your own loss when your child, shaped by trauma, can’t offer empathy backWhy your grief is valid, and where to find support, including grief counsellors and bereavement organisationsWhether you’re a foster carer, adoptive parent, kinship carer, special guardian or birth parent of a child with ACEs and additional needs, this trauma-informed conversation reminds you that you are not [email protected]

School refusal and emotionally based school avoidance (EBSA) can leave parents and carers feeling exhausted, anxious and unsure where to turn. In this episode, therapeutic parent and trauma-informed trainer Mandie and Laura Taylor explore why emotional safety has to come before attendance, and share practical, honest tips for supporting your child.You’ll hear how to spot the triggers behind school avoidance, how to work with your child’s school in a collaborative and professional way, and how to build connection and regulation into everyday life, including mornings. They also talk about why looking after yourself is essential, not optional.Key takeaways:Prioritise emotional safetyIdentify the underlying triggersFocus on connection over complianceSelf-care is essential for parentsChapters:00:00 Introduction to school refusal03:00 Emotional safety vs. attendance06:04 Identifying underlying triggers11:00 Working with schools effectively15:01 Advocacy and professionalism16:38 Navigating school tensions17:44 Establishing morning routines21:33 Connection and regulation27:08 Self-care for parentsWho this episode is for:Parents, foster carers, adoptive parents, kinship carers and therapeutic parents supporting a child who is struggling to attend school, plus teachers, social workers and professionals who want to understand school refusal through a trauma-informed lens.About your hosts:Mandie is a therapeutic parent and trauma-informed trainer. Laura is a social worker and trauma-informed trainer. Together they share their experiences of the therapeutic parenting world. Enjoyed this episode? Follow or subscribe so you don’t miss the next one, and leave a rating or review to help other parents and carers find [email protected]

This episode focuses on child shutdowns, parental guilt, felt safety, and transitions between homes. Mandie and Laura break down what emotional shutdowns look like, why they happen, and how parents can support quiet or withdrawn children using therapeutic‑parenting strategies.They also discuss co‑parenting communication, managing transitions, and helping children cope with the emotional impact of moving between households. The conversation includes practical tools for reducing overwhelm, strengthening connection, and understanding delayed emotional responses in children with trauma, anxiety, or additional needs.If you’re looking for guidance on supporting shutdowns, co‑parenting challenges, emotional regulation, or creating safety during transitions, this episode offers clear, compassionate insight.child shutdownsemotional shutdown in childrensupporting quiet childrentherapeutic parenting strategiesparental guiltfelt safetyco‑parenting communicationtransitions between homesparenting overwhelmdelayed emotional reactionstrauma‑informed parentingemotional regulation for parentssupporting children with additional needspredictable transitionsconnection‑based parenting

In this episode, Mandie and Laura explore the real pressures of single therapeutic parenting, including the emotional load, the practical demands, and the impact of parenting children with trauma histories on your daily capacity. They discuss how solo adoptive and foster parents can support themselves through journaling, self‑reflection, emotional regulation, and building a reliable support network that reduces isolation.The conversation offers practical strategies for managing high‑intensity behaviours, navigating school and professional systems, and finding grace in imperfection while parenting alone.TakeawaysSingle therapeutic parenting carries a heavy emotional and practical loadSupport networks reduce isolation and overwhelmJournaling strengthens self‑reflection and emotional regulationSolo foster/adoptive parents benefit from predictable, sustainable self‑care

In this conversation, Laura and Mandie discuss the challenges and strategies related to transitions, particularly in the context of therapeutic parenting. They share practical tips for managing transitions effectively, emphasizing the importance of preparation, empathy, and maintaining connections.Has this raised questions for you?Why not share them with us either through email ([email protected]) or through our socials.

This week, Laura and Mandie delve into the challenges of adjusting to routine, the unexpected success of trauma-informed strategies, the backfiring of standard parenting strategies, and the balance between therapeutic parenting and personal life. They explore the impact of trauma-informed strategies and the need to find a blend between therapeutic parenting and personal life. The conversation covers the topics of logical vs. natural consequences, managing the impact of a child's behavior on others, and dealing with judgmental schoolgate parents. Each chapter explores these themes in detail, providing valuable insights and strategies for parents and caregivers.TakeawaysTherapeutic parenting during routine adjustmentTrauma-informed strategies and their impactBalancing therapeutic parenting and personal life Logical consequences vs. natural consequencesManaging the impact of a child's behaviour on othersDealing with judgmental school gate parentsIf this has raised questions for you, please reach out and let us know!

Laura and Mandie share their experiences and insights on self-regulation and provide top tips for managing stress and maintaining balance. The conversation focuses on practical strategies for parents to manage stress and maintain emotional regulation. It emphasizes the importance of self-care, setting realistic expectations, and having a plan for moments of overwhelm. Laura and Mandie discuss the impact of guilt and the need to drop it, as well as the value of modelling emotional regulation for children.TakeawaysSelf-care is essential for managing stress and maintaining balance.Recognizing early warning signs and practicing self-regulation are key to managing stress and supporting children.Reducing the load and seeking support can help in managing stress and maintaining balance. Self-care and setting realistic expectations are essential for parental well-being.Having a plan for moments of overwhelm and dropping the guilt associated with feeling overwhelmed are crucial for emotional regulation and effective parenting.If this has raised questions for you, reach out via email ([email protected]) or through our socials.

This week, Laura and Mandie delve into the concept of behaviour as communication, emphasizing the need to understand the underlying needs and the importance of being trauma-informed. They explore the challenges and insights of reframing behaviour, recognizing and responding to behaviour, and the impact of small behaviours. Their discussion also highlights the significance of uncovering unmet needs and being trauma-informed and trauma-responsive in understanding and addressing the child's behaviour. The conversation delves into the importance of regulating our reactions, understanding the child's needs, setting boundaries and consequences, understanding the child's brain, timing and co-regulation, empathy vs. sympathy, identifying triggers, preparation and reflection, curiosity and connection. It emphasizes the significance of pausing and regulating before reacting, as well as understanding the child's needs to build a stronger connection.TakeawaysBehaviour as communicationUnderstanding the underlying needsImportance of being trauma-informed Pause and regulate before reactingUnderstanding the child's needsIf this is something you would like to know more about, please contact us either through our Facebook Page or [email protected]

This week, Mandie and Laura talk about the transition from summer holidays to the routine of school and work. They explore the challenges and emotions associated with this transition, as well as the strategies for recovery and adjustment. They share practical tips for parents to recharge and replenish their energy levels after the summer holidays, with the emphasis on the importance of self-care and emotional well-being for parents as they transition back into the school routine.TakeawaysRoutine RebuildingLowering Stimulation and ExpectationsNaming and Normalizing Emotional Dips Replenishing parental resources is essentialHow parents can rebuild their energy levelsCreating small things to look forward toIf you have any questions please reach out:[email protected]/roots and resilience podcast