Episode 21- Hitman (2007)

Join Kevin, Doug, and Paul as they slog through Max Payne (2008), a forgettable and dreary adaptation of the popular video game. Starring Marky Mark — delivering a performance that’s anything but ph... ph... ph... ph... phat! — the film drowns in gray tones, slow motion, and zero emotion. The guys debate whether this cracks their top 3 worst movies covered, roast Marky Mark’s blank stares, and somehow end up reminiscing about Grounded for Life. Even as non-fans of the game, they can tell something went very wrong here. Tune in as the hosts take the Payne so you don’t have to.

Here it is, folks! It's the last theatrical release from Uwe Boll that we will be talking about on this podcast. Join Kevin, Doug and Paul as they tackle cliche after cliche in this 2-out-of-10 stinker of a film (listen to the episode to get that reference, that's not just the rating of this film).

It all began with the forging of an awful script. And the responsibility of directing such a film was gifted to Uwe Bol, who above all desires power. Join Kevin, Doug and Paul as they take a trek to the heart of Mount Doom to cast this film into the fire.

Happy Belated Star Wars Day, I think! Join Kevin, Doug & Paul as they fly their Nubian Royal Starship back to 1999, I think. This will be a deep-dive of Boss Nass size proportions, so grab a snack with your lizard-like Gungan tongue, grab a seat on your eopie, and relax like you’ve smoked all of the death sticks in Corsicant. Where you ask? In Corsicant.

The best there is, the best there was, and the best there evil will be? Maybe not this Hitman. Join Kevin, Doug, and Paul as they dodge bullets, katanas, and rubber ducks. There's only one question on all their minds; is this film a hit, man?

Put that cookie down and join Doug, Paul, and Kevin as they talk about one of the 90s most 90est Christmas Movies and some of the most prolific actors of that time. 90s icons like Sinbad, Jake "Wizard" Lloyd, the Big Show, and everyone's favorite According to Jim star, Jim Belushi. Even Phil Hartman makes an appearance who you may remember from such movies like Small Soldiers or The Second Civil War. You won't be wanting a coupon for this show, put on your jet packs and get ready for some wacky Looney Tunes antics because we're talking about Jingle All the Way.

Uwe Boll is back and he’s worse than ever. Join Kevin, Doug, and Paul as they suffer through the worst movie they’ve reviewed to date. It’s an awful movie based on the awful game, ‘Postal.’

Do you like Resident Evil?  Do you like Mad Max?  If you do, then you'll be doubly disappointed.  Join Kevin, Doug, Paul & special guest Ben from the 'Star or Not' podcast as they try to survive the 3rd installment of the Resident Evil film series.  

Ready? If you are not, that’s completely understandable. Join Kevin, Doug, and Paul as they tackle this strange piece of cinema based on the ‘Dead or Alive’ fighting game series. Get ready for babes in bikinis, goofy sound effects, Eric Roberts being Eric Roberts, and more goofy sound effects.

SHARRRRON! Join Paul, Doug, and Kevin as they talk about Silent Hill, a 2 hour long Sunoco ad with some haunting nurses, a pyramid head that can't fully be confirmed to be in the movie at all, and a truck load of name yelling.