REFAM CHAT: How We’re Re-examining Wedding Traditions

In the final episode of Refamulating, Julia and Claire open up about their own refamulating journeys, share why they're wrapping the show, and reflect on how special it was to make. None of it would have been possible without the people who made it: the team behind every episode, the guests who trusted us with their stories, and above all, every one of you who listened and made this show what it was. The show may be ending, but the connection will always stay with us. Wherever you go from here, we hope you keep refamulating — we know we will, right alongside you ❤️ _ Connect with us:  EMAIL: [email protected].  WEBSITE INSTAGRAM TIK TOK _ Our team  Host: Julia Winston Producer: Claire McInerny  Audio Engineer: Josh Gilbert Theme Music: Luke Top – We are a member of the Feelings and Co network.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Paula always wanted to be a mom, and she always assumed her path to motherhood would look like getting married in her late twenties and having a baby before 30. When that timeline didn't materialize, she realized she didn’t want to wait for a romantic partner to become a mom. So she froze her eggs, found a sperm donor, got pregnant and gave birth on her own. Paula kept an audio diary from the first year of her daughter’s life. In this episode we listen as she navigates the joys and challenges of motherhood, as well as her journey of building a parenting village without a co-parent. Connect with us:  EMAIL: [email protected].  WEBSITE INSTAGRAM _ Our team  Host: Julia Winston Producer: Claire McInerny  Audio Engineer: Josh Gilbert Theme Music: Luke Top – We are a member of the Feelings and Co network.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Brad and Alyssa tried for three years to have a baby. After multiple miscarriages, five failed IVF embryo transfers and a diagnosis of "unexplained infertility", they eventually turned to surrogacy. That turned out to be the path that finally opened the door to parenthood, but it wasn’t the end of their journey. During their surrogate’s pregnancy they got a surprise that changed the course of how they were building a family.  _ Connect with us:  EMAIL: [email protected].  WEBSITE INSTAGRAM _ Our team  Host: Julia Winston Producer: Claire McInerny  Audio Engineer: Josh Gilbert Theme Music: Luke Top – We are a member of the Feelings and Co network.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Sage bought a small pink house in Boulder, Colorado, she had no idea her next-door neighbor would become something closer to family. Over the last 18 years, Sage and Margaret wove their lives together, sharing meals, childcare, grief, and joy, in ways neither of them could have planned. Their story is a quiet argument for proximity, and for building family with the people closest to you.  _ Connect with us:  EMAIL: [email protected].  WEBSITE INSTAGRAM _ Our team  Host: Julia Winston Producer: Claire McInerny  Audio Engineer: Josh Gilbert Theme Music: Luke Top – We are a member of the Feelings and Co network.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Years ago, Lauren Makler was diagnosed and treated for a rare abdominal disease. Doctors told her her ovaries might not survive the surgeries she needed, so when she conceived her first child without any assistance, she was shocked. She took that feeling of having a baby despite the odds and turned it into her business, Cofertility. She wanted anyone who wanted kids to have access to fertility technology, and not let cost stand in their way. People who freeze their eggs with Cofertility don’t have to pay for the procedure (or storage) if they donate some of their eggs to a family looking for an egg donor. In this episode, Julia and Lauren talk about this new business model, the fertility industry as a whole and the emotional process some face in starting a family. _ Additional Resources:  Some of the resources Lauren mentioned in this episode:  Fertility IQ - a place to find the best fertility doctor in your area SART - learn about IVF and fertility best practices so you go into a doctor’s appointment with knowledge.  _ Subscribe to our newsletter for more refamulating! We share how refamulating looks in our own lives and share what we’re reading and listening to as we make this show.  _ Connect with us:  EMAIL: [email protected].  WEBSITE INSTAGRAM TIK TOK _ Our team  Host: Julia Winston Producer: Claire McInerny  Audio Engineer: Josh Gilbert Theme Music: Luke Top – We are a member of the Feelings and Co network.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Julia and Claire are both getting married this year (cute!) and the wedding planning process has opened up new refamulating questions for them: who do we include in the celebration? What traditions are important and what do we want to ditch? And what is the best way to take back a wedding invite to all of your extended family (we have tips)! And then they reminisce on Claire’s recent bachelorette party in the woods where everyone talked about their feelings and cried. (And why this was the best!)  _  Subscribe to our newsletter for more refamulating! We share how refamulating looks in our own lives and share what we’re reading and listening to as we make this show.  _ Connect with us:  EMAIL: [email protected].  WEBSITE INSTAGRAM TIK TOK _ Our team  Host: Julia Winston Producer: Claire McInerny  Audio Engineer: Josh Gilbert Theme Music: Luke Top – We are a member of the Feelings and Co network.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For a lot of Americans, it’s getting harder and harder to find community. Fewer people are religious, we move around more and with more things online, we spend less time running errands and interacting with people in real life. In this Refam Chat, Julia talks to Katherine Goldstein, author of the upcoming book "How to Find Your People" and creator of The Double Shift substack, which gives advice on how to cultivate an in person community.  _ Additional Resources:  Check out Katherine’s newsletter, The Double Shift.  Here’s her essay about striking up conversations at the farmer’s market and her essay about why introverts need community too.  Block Party USA- learn how to throw your own block party!  _ Subscribe to our newsletter for more refamulating! We write about how refamulating looks in our lives, share resources we’re using as we make this show and share special bonus content for paid subscribers. _ Connect with us:  EMAIL: [email protected].  WEBSITE INSTAGRAM TIK TOK _ Our team  Host: Julia Winston Producer: Claire McInerny  Audio Engineer: Josh Gilbert Theme Music: Luke Top – We are a member of the Feelings and Co network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our culture spends a lot of time talking about the importance of romantic love: finding it, keeping it, and normalizing it as THE most important person in your life. But that completely discounts the deep, meaningful friendships so many of us have. In this Refam Chat, Julia talks with author Rhaina Cohen about her book The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life With Friendship At The Center. Rhaina and Julia talk about the importance of friendship and how many people (including herself) are living with friends, raising kids together and placing friendships at the center of their lives.  _ Check out:  Rhaina’s book Rhaina’s Ted Talk  Rhaina’s newsletter   _ Connect with us:  EMAIL: [email protected].  WEBSITE INSTAGRAM TIK TOK _ Subscribe to our newsletter for more refamulating! We write about how refamulating looks in our lives, share resources we’re using as we make this show and share special bonus content for paid subscribers. _ Our team  Host: Julia Winston Producer: Claire McInerny  Audio Engineer: Josh Gilbert Theme Music: Luke Top – We are a member of the Feelings and Co network.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Ruthie Ackerman was in her late 30s, she realized she wanted to have a baby. But there was a problem- she was married to someone who didn’t. So, she got divorced and began a transformative process to motherhood. In this Refam Chat, Julia talks to Ruthie about her experience with IVF and egg donation to finally get pregnant, what it was like to confront the stories about motherhood she grew up with, and how she’s created a new definition of motherhood for herself and her daughter. _ Pre-order Ruthie’s memoir The Mother Code now!!! Anyone who pre-orders the book can attend a writing masterclass with Ruthie on May 5.  _ Connect with us:  EMAIL: [email protected].  WEBSITE INSTAGRAM TIK TOK _ Subscribe to our newsletter for more refamulating! We write about how refamulating looks in our lives, share resources we’re using as we make this show and share special bonus content for paid subscribers. _ Our team  Host: Julia Winston Producer: Claire McInerny  Audio Engineer: Josh Gilbert Theme Music: Luke Top – We are a member of the Feelings and Co network.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To wrap season 2, we honor and celebrate the unsung heroes of our emotional lives—our closest friends. While we celebrate romantic milestones with parties and gifts, our friendships—often life's most enduring relationships—frequently go unhonored. In this episode, Julia shares an intimate conversation with her platonic soulmate, Lia, about what makes their friendship special and how they’ve stayed close through hard moments that could have separated them. _ The episode transcript can be found here.  _ Subscribe to our newsletter for more refamulating! We write about how refamulating looks in our lives, share resources we’re using as we make this show and share special bonus content for paid subscribers. _ Connect with us:  EMAIL: [email protected].  WEBSITE INSTAGRAM TIK TOK _ Our team  Host: Julia Winston Producer: Claire McInerny  Audio Engineer: Josh Gilbert Theme Music: Luke Top – We are a member of the Feelings and Co network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices