RE 552: Birdsong

Today we have Ty. She is 76 years old, lives in Bozeman, MT and she took her last drink on March 8th, 2008.   This episode brought to you by: Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Café RE – THE social app for sober people.   [04:21] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul tells us that every time he goes into a retreat or event with RE, he asks the universe to send us a (safe) wildlife encounter. This past retreat in Bozeman was no different.  This time, it showed up in the form of a bald eagle while we were spending time at the lake pavilion. After it flew in, it perched on a lone pine tree branch about 50 yards away from us where we admired it’s beauty and Ty, an avid birder, shared some facts about the bald eagle with the group.     Paul shared that while editing the interview he did with Ty, he noticed some background noise. Normally, he does his best to avoid this, but this time he welcomed it. You will hear in the background the sound of birds. He says it was if the universe sent the birds to support Ty.   [08:45] Paul introduces Ty:   Ty lives in Bozeman, MT with her husband Dan. She likes to hike (gently), watch birds and enjoys reading. She is technically retired but has been editing the RE podcast since episode 25.   Ty grew up with an alcoholic father in Fort Worth, TX. Her mother did not allow alcohol in the house, so her father was gone a lot. Ty didn’t drink much during high school due to the fear of her mother detecting it on her.   After she graduated, Ty got married to her boyfriend. That marriage didn’t last long because her husband was an alcoholic and became abusive. They divorced when she was 21. During that time Ty would go out with friends she worked with where they would drink together. She says her rebellion against her father came out in that time – it was the early 70’s filled with drugs and rock and roll.   Ty said she spiraled shortly after her dad died and went through a dark time. She sought help from the county health board and after they placed her on mood stabilizers, she started drinking less.   At age 26, Ty went to university where she chose doing well in school over drinking and partying. A month after graduating college, Ty had a baby. Her daughter had a lot of health and developmental issues, so she became a full-time caregiver for her throughout her 30s.   In her 40s, Ty met her current husband Dan, who does not drink. They moved to Bar Harbor, where Ty worked in the restaurant industry. This exposed her to fine wine, which she would enjoy at home after work, while her husband was sleeping. Ty says red flags began to show when she switched to vodka because it has less calories. She began to hide her bottles and drink in secret.   Moderation for Ty was when she would quit drinking for Lent. One year she found that she wasn’t able to which got her thinking more about her drinking. She was attending Al-Anon meetings but was interested in the literature for AA. After taking some quizzes to determine if she was an alcoholic, she started to believe she might be.   The next morning while in church, Ty says she prayed: “I can’t do this will you help me”. That evening she went to her first AA meeting where she introduced herself as an alcoholic. It was the first time she had said it to herself or anyone else.   Ty says she burned the ships early on. Honesty and openness became very important to her. She knew she had to do the work and became comfortable asking her husband for support in various ways. AA has been a big part of Ty’s recovery story since the beginning. She has witnessed a lot of growth and change in the recovery world since quitting. Joining RE opened up so much for her and she says her toolbox expanded in terms of resources and learning different things.   Ty’s parting piece of guidance: it’s harder to get sober than it is to stay sober.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up. We can do this.       RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes     

Today we have David. He is 51 years old, lives in Pinson, TN and took his last drink of alcohol on December 23rd, 2024.   This episode brought to you by: Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Exact Nature – 20% off your order with code RE20   We have a great lineup of events and courses coming to Recovery Elevator. A mindfulness course is coming up in October, then Dry January as well as a beginner ukelele course are happening in January. In February we have our first AF Songwriting course and later in the month our weeklong sober travel trip to Costa Rica.   [03:11] Thoughts from Paul:   In today’s intro Paul shares with us some statements he heard from Steven Glover (aka Steve-O from Jackass) who celebrates 17 years in recovery this year. Steve-O said that alcoholics are in a sense lucky because unlike other diseases where the best one can hope for is to return to a pre-illness state, when addicts and alcoholics treat their disease, they have the potential to become better versions of themselves.   In Paul’s upcoming book Dolce Vita, he makes the point that addiction is almost a biological mechanism to help wake us up as humans. On the other side of the addiction, if we are to heal, then we have to build a life that is more oriented towards helping others, where we are to be more authentic and where we are to admit when we are wrong in life.   One of the biggest mistakes that people make when they quit drinking is they just quit drinking. Although this is a huge step in the right direction, if this is all you do it leads to the concept of being a dry drunk. You need to address the reasons you drank to excess in the first place.   By listening to a sobriety podcast, you are doing the work. You’re investing in your recovery, and you are not a dry drunk. Your potential of becoming better than before is becoming a reality. And what wonderful timing you have as the world needs your honesty, your authenticity, your smile and your service more than ever.   [08:16] Paul introduces David:   David is 51 years old and was born and raised in West Tennessee. He has three adult children with his wife of 31 years. For work, he manages a manufacturing facility and for fun he is a lifelong musician and also enjoys genealogy and cemetery preservation.   David is the youngest of four children. He says his mother was a teetotaler and his father had a drinking problem, but it had tapered down a lot by the time David came along. David says he was raised in the country and had a small group of friends that his mother would say weren’t the best influences, and David was more of a follower than a leader and he and his friends would experiment with alcohol when he was younger.   When David was 18, he met his wife. They got married in David’s early twenties and began having kids. At this point, David didn’t drink often, and his wife didn’t drink at all. It wasn’t until their thirties that they would start having the occasional bottle of wine in the house.   In his late thirties, the drinking began ramping up. David began to have a regular music gig that was 45 minutes from home. He began going to have dinner and beers before the gig and over time started going out again after the gigs as well. He began drinking more on the weekends and that eventually crept into every day while isolating.   After some negative health reports in 2019, David began to try and address his drinking and says it was like a hamster wheel. By 2021, he knew he wanted to pursue an alcohol-free life and shared this with his wife, who has been very supportive of him.   Since his last drink in 2024, David says all of his relationships have improved, his bass playing has improved, and he started college last year and will be graduating soon. David is looking forward to continuing his personal growth, learning to meditate and travel.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up. We can do this.       RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes  Café RE    

Today we have Odette. She’s 37 years old, lives in San Diego, CA and she took her last drink 486 days ago.   This episode brought to you by: Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Exact Nature – 20% off your order with code RE20   Registration is open for our next retreat in Costa Rica. That’s February 21st – 28th, 2026 in Guanacaste, a Blue Zone. We are over halfway full, but we have seven spots left.   [03:09] Thoughts from Paul:   When 17 people send Paul an article in the span of 2-3 days, he knows it means something big just came out… and this one is big because it disarms one of the biggest reasons why it’s so hard to quit drinking: everyone else is drinking. Which is no longer true. Several publication released this article and here’s the link for the CBS article.   It says - only 54% of U.S. adults say they drink alcohol, a record low. There is a growing belief that even moderate alcohol consumption is a health risk which is 100% correct. In 2015 28% of Americans though this but now in 2025, that percentage has almost doubled to 53%.   While mostly younger Americans are driving this trend, but older Americans are getting on board as well and the alcohol industry is tanking. Paul says that he can’t help but feel that we all have had a part in this. That we, including you, the listener, have saved lives by doing our part getting the proper messaging out about alcohol, and people are listening.   So, you’re not the only one who doesn’t drink. Paul doesn’t drink, Odette doesn’t drink and 46% of Americans don’t drink either.   [07:57] Paul introduces Odette:   In addition to being interviewed on episodes 128 and 231, Odette was the podcast host from episode 277 to 378.   Odette is from Guadalajara, Mexico but has been living in San Diego, CA with her husband, two kids and a variety of pets. She works in operations for a company called Chosen Foods. Around a year ago, she began teaching breathwork as well. For fun, she and her family enjoy being outside, especially at the beach.   Odette shares that addiction runs in her family, her father, who recently hit 16 years sober, went into rehab when Odette was 18. At the time she was struggling with an eating disorder and clinical depression. She never expected alcohol to be a problem for her.   Odette moved to the US with her husband after she graduated college. She kept her eating, and depression issues a secret for about a year after they got married but ended up going into treatment for it because she knew she needed to be healthy in order to have kids.   After having their first child, Odette says that she fell into the “mommy wine culture” pretty quickly. Playdates included toys for the kids and wine for the moms. Over time she began to look forward to drinking but there was always a knowing that this wasn’t her authentic self, she says. The drinking helped her feel like she fit in.   The drinking and her eating disorder didn’t play well together. She found the lines getting blurry and she wasn’t listening to her body as well as before. Since she didn’t drink much, she wasn’t sure she really had a problem, but it was all taking a toll mentally.   During the time Odette was hosting the RE podcast, her grandmother got sick. She lives far from her family and the uncertainty of the situation and pain of not being there was too much for her. Even with all of her tools, Odette found herself relapsing. She struggled with the shame of it and felt a little lost but leaning into the community and learning how to accept herself has been important to getting her footing back.   Odette says recovery isn’t about fixing yourself, it’s about accepting all of the things that you are.  Breathwork has been helpful for Odette to learn how to get back in touch with her body and be present.   The Harmony House Odette Cressler   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up. I love you guys.       RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes  Café RE    

Today we have Justin. He is 40 years old and lives in Northern Ontario. He took his last drink on August 20th, 2023.   This episode brought to you by: Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Café RE – the social app for sober people   [04:03] Thoughts from Paul:   In our question for sobriety, we often ask ourselves why the drinking? Why can’t I stop? What’s the problem here?    Paul shares his experience with the 12 Steps of AA, more specifically, step 4 where you list all of your resentments. He filled an entire notebook for his fourth step and after reading this out loud to his sponsor, it became clear to him that he was at least 50% of every problem that he encountered or had been part of. The fourth step showed him the patterns, and the data was clear – he was the problem. The same is true for all of us.   It turns out, in a non-shaming way, you are the problem, and you are not the solution. This should be empowering because if you are the problem, you’re the only thing you can control. The solution is not a one and done thing. The big one here is to burn the ships and to start building community.   We used alcohol to numb the pains of living in a super challenging world, and the solution is that we have to find a better way to respond to the world and we have to come together to make this happen.   [08:39] Paul introduces Justin:   Justin is from Northern Ontario, has been married for 14 years and they have two dogs and cat. Formerly an electrician, Justin is now a part-time day trader. He enjoys hiking, yoga and meditation. Justin and his wife Danielle quit drinking together just over two years ago.   Justin had his first drink at age 15 with some friends. He didn’t see the point in drinking at first but was happy to have friends to drink with. Over time he not only enjoyed spending time with friends he also began to enjoy the drinking too.   At 18, Justin had a job with a sound and lighting company, and they would do a lot of concerts. He reflects that the amount of booze that was around and available to him for free was insane. Within the next two years he developed a habit of drinking 10 to 20 beers a day. In addition to the drinking, Justin had developed an addiction to harder drugs.   When Justin was around age 23, he quit the job and doing hard drugs but used alcohol to help him. This contributed to his intake increasing and he was still drinking daily. Because he wasn’t doing hard drugs anymore, he thought it was ok, and he was living clean. After Justin’s third DUI charge in 2015, he begins to realize that he might have a problem. He quit for five days and decided he didn’t have a problem, so he went back to drinking.   Living in a small town where many people drank more than them, Justin and Danielle had the illusion that they “weren’t that bad”. They enjoyed drinking together most of the time, but when they began fighting more often, they acknowledged that there might be an issue. They began trying moderation techniques, but eventually knew they just needed to stop altogether.   They drank one last time after losing their horse and Justin says he had the worst hangover the next day. They both had already been listening to the RE podcast and had joined Café RE. Justin is grateful to being doing this with his partner and they find strength in one another.   Justin was just diagnosed with a brain tumor, so they are planning a big move back to Southern Ontario to be closer to family. Being sober for these life changes is a gift, Justin says. When asked what his mantra has been for the last few months Justin says “go with the flow, keep on truckin’, be like water. You can’t fight life. Life is just going to push you as it pushes you and generally, you’ll get what you need”.   Justin’s parting piece of guidance: the only way out is through. You gotta go through it to move out of it.       Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down. We gotta take the stairs back up. I love you guys.   RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Today we have Amy. She is 41 years old and lives in Raleigh, NC. She took her last drink on December 12th, 2023.   This episode brought to you by: Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Exact Nature – use code RE20 to save 20% off of your order   October 2026 we have a new retreat we have yet to do. This is an in-person alcohol-free ukulele retreat taking place in Guanacaste, Costa Rica. There will be ukulele instruction in the mornings and Spanish immersion courses in the afternoon.   [02:01] Thoughts from Paul:   Addiction is disconnecting with the self and your fellow humans. More sobriety is connection with the self, your fellow humans and more. “I” equals illness, “we” equals wellness.   Quitting drinking is a perfect circle. Your drinking crisis is an opportunity for someone to help. Phrased with 12 step verbiage, your first step is someone else’s 12th step. And when you find your footing, you can then assist someone else in their drinking crisis.   When the soul is hurting, the healing only happens when you’re not alone. And speaking of being alone, listeners, you are not alone. You are not the only one who struggles with alcohol. You, along with the other listeners, are seeking not only sobriety but seeking a deeper connection with all. Seeking answers that the bottle can’t deliver. You are in the right place.   [07:37] Paul introduces Amy:   Amy is 41 years old and lives in Raleigh, NC with her husband and a three-year-old son. Amy says she is a theater nerd and does improv comedy for fun.    Amy grew up in the southwest side of Chicago where she says her father was an alcoholic. She has memories of being a child at AA and Al-Anon meetings with her parents as well as memories of her father taking her to bars when they would tell her mother they were somewhere else.   Amy had her first drink when she was 15 while going to a concert with older teens. There was a bottle passed around the group and they all got drunk. Later that night she was found in the field of the concert venue by paramedics and taken to the hospital to have her stomach pumped.   She began to live a double life throughout high school and college. Amy saw that if she got good grades and joined all of the clubs, she would get praise and recognition. On the flip side she would drink very hard, and it wasn’t uncommon for her to get alcohol poisoning. Only after going to grad school in New York was Amy able to calm down a bit.   After COVID, Amy and her husband were doing IVF. Amy says she didn’t drink much at this point, but after having the baby, she suffered from postpartum anxiety which led her to daily drinking as a tool to cope with it. Over time she would begin to try moderation but limiting herself to two drinks was difficult and led to binges.   Amy’s last bender was at a holiday work party. The next day she found herself hungover and asked herself how her drinking was any better than her father’s was when she was younger. She knew that she may be heading down a dangerous path, so Amy decided to call the local AA helpline.   Amy began going to AA meetings and found a sponsor. She shares that her mother was a great support because of her experience with Al-Anon and she understood what Amy was going through.   One of the best things for Amy was burning the ships and gaining accountability. Even after 18 months, Amy admits there is white knuckling at times. She realizes that after 25 years of drinking, it doesn’t all heal within 18 months, but she is grateful to be where she is and says that since getting sober, she hasn’t missed a day of her son’s life.   Amy’s parting piece of guidance: everything that she was looking for while getting drunk can be found in recovery and she found it in Café RE and AA. Take what works and leave the rest.   Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.   Café RE – the social app for sober people RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Today we have Brian. He is 40 years old from Spring Hill, MA and he took his last drink of alcohol on July 16th, 2024.   This episode brought to you by: Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Exact Nature – 20% off your order with code RE20   Shout out to these alcohol-free brands for sponsoring our seventh Bozeman Retreat:   Athletic Brewing Sober Link - save 50% on a device Rise Up Coffee Better Rhodes – use code RECOV_EL_15 at checkout for 15% off Odyssey Elixirs   [03:25] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares with us Bill W., the founder of AA once shared letters back and forth with Swiss psychologist Carl Yung looking for feedback on the program he was creating. Perhaps the most important letter from Yung to Bill W. was a letter suggesting a spiritual solution was needed to overcome addiction. He was a firm believer that addiction has nothing to do with weakness but is a misdirected cry for wholeness.   Another viewpoint that Carl Yung gave us is to not ask why you want to quit drinking but what pain you are trying to silence? Or what role is alcohol playing?   When we start asking the right questions and stop fighting the addiction, the healing process begins. If you keep doing your own inner work, the massive ship called your addiction will change course. It takes time to redirect the energy called an addiction, but when we start asking the right questions, it’s going to happen. It’s just a matter of time.   [07:36] Paul introduces Brian:   Brian is 40 years old and lives in Springfield, MA. He has been married 13 years, and they have two children. For fun he enjoys weight training, cooking, and spending time with his kids.   Brian is the oldest of four kids and his parents divorced when he was young. He shares that he internalized a lot of stuff growing up and carried a lot of emotion. Brian wasn’t the kid to act out, but he recalls the first time he drank was when his mother was out of town and he ended up getting very sick. He says it taught him a lesson, and he didn’t party much in high school.   In college, Brian says, alcohol acted like that warm hug that people talk about. It gave him a lot of confidence socially and he became friends with people older than him. Once they started graduating, he lost a lot of the friends he drank with, so he found himself drinking alone occasionally which he didn’t think there was anything wrong with.   After graduation, the job market was tough which had Brian stressed out and he began using alcohol as a coping mechanism. He was drinking daily and ended up getting pancreatitis after a while, which was a bit of a wake up call for him. The drinking didn’t end but Brian began to try and moderate.   Over the years Brian was able to quit for periods of time but would return to drinking to cope with traumatic events. He was working on sobriety, watching YouTube videos, trying naltrexone and listening to podcasts. He was making progress, but COVID came and knocked him down again.   Brian did not want to fall onto the same path that his father had with his alcoholism. Brian had a rock bottom moment when his behavior on a vacation had him showing a negative side of himself to his in-laws.   On the weekend of his wife’s birthday, Brian had a few days sober, and his internal voice was trying to convince him to drink. He turned on the RE podcast while he was mowing the lawn and soon after had made the decision that he was going to quit drinking forever. He then burned the ships and told his wife about his decision.   Since quitting drinking Brian’s health has improved, he has lost 35 pounds and has found a community in Café RE. He is planning on finding more connection locally to him through AA soon.   Brian’s parting piece of guidance: listen to your heart rather than your brain. Follow your instincts.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up. We can do this.       RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes  Café RE    

Today we have Lori. She is 58 years old from Vancouver, Canada. She took her last drink on February 21st, 2024.   This episode brought to you by: Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Café RE – the social app for sober people   [03:11] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares that his second book, Dolce Vita, is currently in the editing process and should be out by November this year. This was also the name of the bar he owned Spain when he was in his 20’s. The name is Italian for “the good life” which Paul once thought he could find at the bottom of a bottle. He began to notice that his Dolce Vita had an expiration date that would get shorter and shorter over time.   The thing Paul thought was delivering the dolce vita was slowly and methodically destroying any chance of having one. It wasn’t until he finally ditched the booze that the good life actually showed up. He learned that the sweetness wasn’t in escaping life, it was finally showing up for it.   The good life is right here in front of us all, right here in this moment, as long as we stay away from a drink today.   [09:19] Paul introduces Lori:   Lori is 58 years old and lives in the suburbs of Vancouver, Canada. She has been married for 37 years, and they have two grown children and one grandchild. Lori has been a realtor for 35 years and for fun she enjoys golf and physical fitness.    Lori shares that she had a great childhood, but her mother was an alcoholic, and it affected her negatively throughout the years. In high school, Lori aspired to be an actress and craved attention. Having an already outgoing personality, it just got bigger when she was drinking and garnered more attention.   Lori had a lot of resentments towards her mother over the years and admits she treated her poorly. They did not make amends before her mother passed, and Lori says that is when her drinking started ramping up. On the outside, everything was going well with her career and her kids, but the weekends revolved around drinking.   Some mornings Lori would wake up depressed, regretful of her actions the night before and be plagued with the “not again” feelings. Lori and her husband would discuss cutting back on drinking and she acknowledges that he only drank as much as he did because of her.   In 2022 Lori was able to quit drinking for 77 days with the help of This Naked Mind and participated in two 30-day alcohol experiments. Then something negative happened and Lori found herself reaching for a glass of wine. Before long she was drinking at any time of day, hiding alcohol in her sock drawer and sneaking shots of moonshine.   After a weekend trip with some friends where Lori could not get the happy buzz that she was looking for from the alcohol, she knew that something had to change. She joined the RE Ukelele course and decided to stick around. With the help and encouragement of some fellow members, she started to believe that maybe she could be alcohol-free.   Lori began going to a lot of chats with Café RE, first with the camera off just taking notes. She began to participate by asking questions and listening. The community has helped Lori find her mantra to hit the pillow sober every night. The first 30 days felt like the calendar was moving backwards, but she kept going.   Lori still stays social with her friends but has recently been feeling like she is at a crossroads. Some events that used to be fun no longer are and she is feeling a shift. The RE community means a lot to her and she is currently seeking more sober connections local to her.   Some of the bright lights in sobriety for Lori are the ability to be heard, being reliable, and she now feels better physically as well as mentally.   Lori’s parting piece of guidance: please decide your “whys” If the cons outweigh the pros, you need to take alcohol out of your life.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up. We can do this. I love you guys.     RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes     

Today we have Rachel. She is 48 years old and lives in Minneapolis, MN. She took her last drink on August 28th, 2018.   This episode brought to you by: Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Sober Link – learn more and save $50 off of a device     Come join us in beautiful Bozeman, Montana this August 6th – 10th for our annual flagship retreat. We have a few camping spots as well as a few spots left in the men’s cabin.   [02:50] Thoughts from Paul:   Healing can look a bit like a paradox and Paul shares several examples showing this. Tying this same idea into ditching the booze we can say that quitting drinking can make you feel more anxious at first, when it’s actually making you calmer in the long run. Quitting drinking can make you feel more emotional and raw when it’s actually making you more resilient. Sobriety can make you feel bored at first, but it’s actually clearing space for hobbies and adventures that you’ll deeply enjoy.   Healing can hurt at first, but look out, brighter days are just on the horizon. Can you do this? Absolutely. Will there be stumbles, bad days? Without a doubt.   You can do this, you are doing this and you’re further along on your AF journey than you think. Keep moving forward.   [06:30] Paul introduces Rachel:   Rachel is 48 and lives just outside of Minneapolis, MN. She is married and they have three cats. She is a director in financial services and for fun she enjoys reading, writing and attending meet ups with other sober people.   Alcohol was always present when Rachel was growing up. She was an achiever in school and had already completed some college before graduating high school. Drinking was not a focus for her through her school years, and she didn’t start drinking until later in her life.   Around 2008 during the national financial crisis, Rachel says her drinking changed. Being a bond trader during this time was tough due to the uncertainty of the future. Rachel found herself having a drink after work and it became part of habit loop for her: go to work, come home, have a drink.  Over the next 7 to 10 years, that one drink turned into multiple bottles.   Rachel was desperate to figure out how to solve this issue without drinking and tried moderation with no luck. She began reading books like This Naked Mind and listening to podcasts like RE. She felt the stories on the podcast were relatable because they were normal people and not the stereotypical bum under a bridge with the brown paper bag.   After hearing suggestions of trying to quit for 30 days, Rachel decided to try it and has been sober ever since. She says the first three days were hard but within seven days she was sleeping better than she ever had. Rachel began substituting wine with sparkling water and while it was tough at first, it became her new habit. She also joined Café RE and found community there and in AA.   Rachel recently self-published a book called Functional: A High Performer's Guide to Achieving Freedom from Alcohol. She says she wrote a book that she wishes were available to her when she got sober. Many of the books out there have glaring rock bottom moments which Rachel said she didn’t have. She believes that it may sometimes be harder for people without a rock bottom to quit because it isn’t as obvious that they need to.   Rachel’s best advice to somebody that is functional is to just try to quit for 30 days and use it as a time of self-discovery.   Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys. We can do this.   Café RE – the social app for sober people RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes       

Today we have Thea. She is 55 years old from Madison, WI and took her last drink on February 10th, 2019   This episode brought to you by: Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Exact Nature – 20% off your order with code RE20   We have just a couple of cabin spots left for our upcoming retreat in Bozeman, Montana. This retreat is from August 6th through 10th.   Coming in January 2026, our AF Ukelele Course. Registration for that opens in December.   Also coming next year in October 2026, we will have an in-person ukelele retreat where we’re having Spanish instruction in the afternoons. This will be in Costa Rica. More information will be coming soon about that event.   [02:45] Thoughts from Paul:   On the journey into an alcohol-free life, it almost always consists of a chapter where we are trying to control the uncontrollable. But something takes place that we aren’t aware of and that’s that alcohol has become uncontrollable – and we haven’t realized it yet.   You might be asking yourself if your drinking has reached that point and may have searched for a sobriety podcast because there were aspects of your drinking that you were unable to control. The longer you try to control the uncontrollable, the less sanity you are left with.   Paul wants you to ask yourself if you are trying to control the uncontrollable thing. He and many of us have learned that we cannot control our drinking, but the opportunities are endless in what we CAN do without alcohol in our lives, the same can be true for you.   [07:06] Paul introduces Thea:   Thea is 55 years old, grew up in a small town in Wisconsin but now lives in Madison with her husband of almost 30 years, and they have three grown boys. Thea works in education. She loves to cook, bake, read, and attend sporting events.   Thea says she drank a little in high school, but it wasn’t out of control. After going to college where the culture involved binge drinking, Thea drank more. Being someone that didn’t suffer from hangovers, she never looked at her drinking as a problem.   Thea met her husband after college when they married and had three kids. She says she would binge drink occasionally, but not enough to create red flags and her husband can take it or leave it. Thea says she didn’t drink during her pregnancies or drink every night, but as her kids got older and needed her less, she fell into the habit of drinking more.   Thea would drink socially but preferred to drink covertly at home where she could have as much as she wanted. Over time she began to feel like she needed the alcohol to function and was becoming physically addicted to it.   A few years later, some family members had an intervention with Thea. The message she took away was that she needed to hide her drinking better in the future. The following summer, Thea’s sister-in-law called her out on her drinking again, and they went to the ER. It was recommended that she go to a detox center which Thea refused to do. She opted to detox on her own, which is not recommended. After doing that, she enrolled in an IOP but was just going through the motions to try and become a normal drinker again – she had no intention of quitting.   Thea feels she was getting nudges from God to address the issue. It wasn’t until February 10th, 2019, that the message finally got through. Thea was very sick and throwing up blood. She was in and out of the hospital dealing with the symptoms of her failing liver. Thea feels that something finally clicked, and she has not wanted to have a drink since that first day when she went to the hospital.   After two years sober, Thea started listening to podcasts and reading quit lit. She eventually found her way back to AA and it feels like home this time. Thea is very open about her recovery with her family and is grateful they never gave up on her.   Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.   RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes  Café RE    

Today we have Ronnie. He is 41 years old from Kiowa, CO and took his last drink on June 1st, 2025.   This episode brought to you by: Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Café RE – the social app for sober people.   [03:17] Thoughts from Paul:   From the cavemen to the ancient Greeks, to modern humans, there’s always an apocalypse on the horizon. The apocalypse outside of us, we can’t control and there has never not been one. The only apocalypse you can control is the one caused by alcohol which is happening inside of you.   Paul reminds us that no matter how fearful the news programs and the politicians want you to be, we’ve never not had an external apocalypse looming and geological record will tell you the same.   Disconnect from all of the news and connect to yourself, others, nature, a ripe mango, a snuggle with a dog because you know what? We’re okay. Get yourself some time away from alcohol and you’re going to be very much okay.   [07:54] Paul introduces Ronnie:   Ronnie is 41 years old, lives in Kiowa, CO with his wife and four children. Ronnie works as a home inspector. For fun, Ronnie enjoys spending time with his kids and spending time outside. His family has 40 acres and a variety of animals which his children show with 4-H.   Ronnie began drinking when he was 17 after discovering that alcohol was a magical elixir that suppressed his inhibitions and insecurities. By the time Ronnie was in college, he was partying regularly. After a few semesters, he had failed out of school, moved back home and began working in construction.   After some time, Ronnie moved to Colorado and began working for a faith-based non-profit organization in addition to being a home inspector on the side. Drinking was something they did not allow their staff to do. This enabled Ronnie to remain mostly sober during that time, only drinking when he was around friends back home.   Ronnie and his wife married in 2011 and moved to Portland, Oregon. He grew accustomed to the culture of going out for cups of coffee, but when they returned to Colorado Ronnie saw that the culture there was going out for beers. This began alcohol creeping back into his life slowly.   When COVID happened, his job with the non-profit ended and Ronnie was home inspecting full time. Ronnie says they lost two and a half streams of income, and it left him depressed and having trouble with night terrors. He started using alcohol to help him sleep. It turned into daily drinking which led Ronnie to start exploring whether or not he had an issue. In the process, he discovered the RE podcast.   Around this time, Ronnie began to try moderation. He was using a sobriety tracker and said he reset it over 20 times before he was able to get a week. After he was able to stay sober for three weeks, he thought he had it under control but before long was back to drinking daily.   On that night of what ended up being Ronnie’s last drink, he awoke to his heart racing and massive anxiety. He told his wife that he thought he had a problem which she said she knew, and instead of being judgmental, she asked what she could do to help. The next day Ronnie learned that his wife had contacted some friends that had dealt with addictions, and they were all ready to help.   Within the first day, Ronnie threw out all of the alcohol in the home. This opened up the conversation with his kids about addictions and healthy ways of coping with emotions. Over the last 12 days, Ronnie has seen his sleep improved. He has realized that alcohol no longer has a place in his or his family’s life.   Ronnie says that every time he tells someone about his addiction, a weight lifts. This motivates him to keep going. He is finding healthy ways to deal with stress and sleep. Exercise, meditation, audiobooks and listening to the RE podcast have been helpful to him on this journey.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up We can do this I love you guys   RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes