The Homework Episode for Overwhelmed Parents

Does homework time in your house end in tears, arguments, or a kid still awake at midnight?  In this episode, Dr. Aliza Pressman sits down with Dr. Ellen Braaten, founding director of the Learning and Emotional Assessment Program (LEAP) at Massachusetts General Hospital and associate professor of psychology at Harvard Medical School. Together they unpack why homework has become such a point of tension in families, why more homework isn't actually better for kids, and how too much of it can quietly chip away at sleep, motivation, and mental health, whether your child is in second grade or staying up late studying in high school.  What you’ll learn: ● How much homework kids actually need by age, and why more than two hours a night stops helping  ● The hidden costs of too much homework: lost sleep, lower motivation, and rising anxiety  ● How to support your child without hovering, controlling, or doing the work for them ● What to say (and what to skip) when your child is crying over homework  ● Why bright kids with ADHD, learning differences, or slow processing speed can take hours to finish  ● How to tell the difference between a homework problem and a mental health problem  🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS:  📖 About This Episode's Guest, Dr. Ellen Braaten: https://www.ellenbraatenphd.com/about 📚 Her Book, Bright Kids Who Can't Keep Up:  https://www.ellenbraatenphd.com/books Buy Dr. Aliza Pressman's Books: ✨ Preorder “The Orchid Code: How Temperament Shapes Who We Become" by Dr. Aliza Pressman: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250462312/theorchidcode/ 📖Order "The 5 Principles of Parenting" by Dr. Aliza Pressman: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-5-Principles-of-Parenting/Aliza-Pressman/9781668014547 Follow Raising Good Humans: 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 🎙️ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044 Subscribe on Substack for weekly articles and exclusive LIVE Q&As:  📧 https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ This episode is brought to you by: Fora: Turn your passion for travel planning into a real business. Become a Fora Advisor today at Fora.com/humans, and make sure you tell them we sent you.  Osea: OSEA has clean, seaweed-powered skincare from the sea. Go to  OSEAMalibu.com and get 10% off your first order with code HUMANS.  Little Spoon: Feeding the kids doesn’t have to be complicated. Get 30% off your first online order at littlespoon.com/HUMANS with code HUMANS. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Does your kid actually know how to be a good friend — or are they just hoping the right friends find them?  In this episode, Dr. Aliza Pressman sits down with Sissy Goff and David Thomas, therapists at Daystar Counseling in Nashville, hosts of the Raising Boys and Girls podcast, and New York Times bestselling authors of Capable. Together they unpack why the back-to-school season triggers so much social anxiety in kids, and why shifting the focus from "how do I find friends" to "how do I be a good friend" is one of the most powerful reframes parents can offer, whether their child is walking into their very first kindergarten classroom or navigating the brutal social terrain of middle school. What you’ll learn: Why reframing "find a friend" as "be a friend" changes everything for anxious kids The FAILS framework: teaching kids that awkward first interactions are just data, not failure "Back pocket questions" kids can use to start conversations at lunch, recess, and beyond Why middle school friendship struggles are developmentally normal (even when they look fine on the outside) How to talk to kids about hard social moments without lecturing — the "breezy" approach The "balcony friends" and "pacesetter" frameworks for helping kids recognize who's actually good for them RESOURCES & LINKS: 📖 About This Episode's Guests, Sissy Goff & David Thomas https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/about?srsltid=AfmBOooxvHK80JWyYOegbfKJ_Vcqn5ImOoRaHXE5109SNfAUPaMDb8SD 📚 Their Book, Capable: https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/capablebook 🎙️ Their Podcast: Raising Boys and Girls: https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/podcast Follow Raising Good Humans: 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 🎙️ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044 Subscribe on Substack for weekly articles and exclusive LIVE Q&As: 📧 https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ This episode is brought to you by: OneSkin: Born from over 10 years of longevity research, OneSkin is helping you unlock your healthiest skin now and as you age. For a limited time, try OneSkin with 15% off using code RGH at oneskin.co/RGH. Tell them we sent you. Kodiak: Feel good about snack choices with Kodiak Bars. Find them at kodiakcakes.com or your local grocery store. They’re the ones with the bear on the box.  Minnow: Cabana Capsule celebrates days spent lingering by the sea, soaking up the sun, and savoring the simple luxury of having nowhere to be. Shop the capsule starting July 7th at shopminnow.com and enter code MEETMINNOW15 at checkout to receive 15% off your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sibling fights making you crazy?  If you've ever wondered when to intervene in sibling fights versus when to let your kids work it out themselves, this episode gives you a practical framework you can use today. Sibling fights are one of the most common pain points of parenting, and we’ve all been there. In this episode, developmental psychologist and Raising Good Humans host Dr. Aliza Pressman explains how to tell the difference between normal sibling conflict and situations that require real intervention, why fairness doesn't mean giving every kid the exact same thing, and how the language parents use in the heat of the moment can either fuel resentment or teach kids to fight well. What you’ll learn: The "witness, not judge" framework for staying neutral during sibling conflict How to use "sportscaster mode" to de-escalate fights without picking sides Why fair doesn't mean equal—and how to explain equity to your kids The hidden dangers of labeling kids ("the helper," "the difficult one") within the family How to handle twins, age gaps, and the "glass child" experience Simple family rituals that build long-term sibling closeness and repair skills 🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS: Follow Raising Good Humans: 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 🎙️ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044 Subscribe on Substack for weekly articles and exclusive LIVE Q&As: 📧 https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ This episode is brought to you by: Fora: Turn your passion for travel planning into a real business. Become a Fora Advisor today at Fora.com/humans, and make sure you tell them we sent you.  Merit Beauty: Right now, Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their Signature Makeup Bag – which if you’ve seen it, it’s not just a make-up bag but really an accessory – free with your first order at meritbeauty.com.   BetterHelp: Better is a feeling—defined by you. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/humans.  Kodiak: Feel good about snack choices with Kodiak Bars. Find them at kodiakcakes.com or your local grocery store. They’re the ones with the bear on the box.  Wayfair: Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase and start saving on your next home upgrade. Head to Wayfair.com to shop all things home. Wayfair. Every Style. Every Home. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why does a teenage breakup feel like the end of the world for girls, but barely register for boys?  Dr. Aliza Pressman sits down with Dr. Shefali — clinical psychologist, founder of the conscious parenting movement, and New York Times bestselling author of Raising Conscious Daughters and Raising Conscious Sons — for a conversation that finally explains the biology behind teen dating, heartbreak, and hookup culture. From the surge of estrogen and oxytocin that wires girls to bond instantly, to the testosterone spike that turns boys into what Dr. Shefali calls "novelty seekers," this episode breaks down what's actually happening inside your child's brain during their first crush, their first relationship, and their first heartbreak. What you’ll learn: The hormonal science behind why girls bond faster and boys move on faster — and how to talk to each about it Why Dr. Shefali says daughters must be taught they are "the chooser, not the chosen" How to talk to sons about testosterone, impulse control, and sexual responsibility before puberty hits Why hookup culture and "situationships" are more about FOMO than a lack of values What porn is really doing to how teens experience rejection and real-life romance The single biggest antidote to disconnection Dr. Shefali says every family is missing RESOURCES & LINKS: More from Dr. Shefali:  📚 Raising Conscious Daughters and Raising Conscious Sons by Dr. Shefali Tsabary https://www.drshefali.com/raisingconscious-daughters-sons/ Follow Raising Good Humans: 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 🎙️ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044 Subscribe on Substack for weekly articles and exclusive LIVE Q&As: 📧 https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ This episode is brought to you by: Little Spoon: Feeding the kids doesn’t have to be complicated. Get 30% off your first online order at littlespoon.com/HUMANS with code HUMANS. Orion Sleep: Get better sleep, backed by your own data. Right now, Orion is offering our listeners 15% off at Orionsleep.com/HUMANS. Kodiak: Feel good about snack choices with Kodiak Bars. Find them at kodiakcakes.com or your local grocery store. They’re the ones with the bear on the box.  OneSkin: Born from over 10 years of longevity research, OneSkin is helping you unlock your healthiest skin now and as you age. For a limited time, try OneSkin with 15% off using code RGH at oneskin.co/RGH. Tell them we sent you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is your child's behavior really about who they are — or is it about where you've put them?  In this episode, Dr. Aliza Pressman sits down with Dr. Angela Duckworth, bestselling author of Grit, MacArthur "Genius" Grant winner, and University of Pennsylvania psychologist, to unpack her powerful new book, Situated. Together they explore why the "fundamental attribution error" causes so many parents to blame a child's character when the real culprit is the situation around them — and why editing that situation, from where you keep your phone to which zip code you live in, is one of the most effective child development strategies parents actually have. What you’ll learn: Why the "fundamental attribution error" makes parents misjudge their kids' behavior The "3-foot rule": how personal space and phone placement quietly drive academic performance Practical ways to build self-control in kids without relying on willpower alone How intentionally choosing a neighborhood or school shapes peer influence and character The powerful role of mentors, coaches, and teachers as "surrogate parents" Modeling behavior: what your kids are really learning by watching you 🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS: 📖 About This Episode's Guest, Dr. Angela Duckworth:https://www.angeladuckworth.com/about 📚 Dr. Duckworth's Book, Situated:https://www.angeladuckworth.com/situated 📚 Dr. Duckworth's Bestseller, Grit:https://www.angeladuckworth.com/grit Follow Raising Good Humans: 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 🎙️ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044 Subscribe on Substack for weekly articles and exclusive LIVE Q&As: 📧 https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ This episode is brought to you by: Little Spoon: Feeding the kids doesn’t have to be complicated. Get 30% off your first online order at littlespoon.com/HUMANS with code HUMANS. Kodiak: Feel good about snack choices with Kodiak Bars. Find them at kodiakcakes.com or your local grocery store. They’re the ones with the bear on the box.  BetterHelp: Better is a feeling—defined by you. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/humans.  Boar’s Head: For lunchtime inspiration visit: boarshead.com/backtoschool. For Boar’s Head, head to your local deli counter. Osea: OSEA has clean, seaweed-powered skincare from the sea. Go to OSEAMalibu.com and get 10% off your first order with code HUMANS. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Blaming your kid's attention span on Covid? In this episode, Dr. Aliza Pressman sits down with Georgetown Professor and developmental psychologist, Dr. Anna Johnson, to unpack a landmark special section of 17 longitudinal studies published in Child Development, the field's top journal. Together they walk through what parents have been told about "Covid kids" versus what the actual research shows about learning loss, executive functioning, and child mental health five years later. What you’ll learn: ● Why longitudinal research tells a different story than the "learning loss" headlines ● Which kids were actually at higher risk — and which weren't ● Why reading recovered faster than math after school closures ● How parent-child closeness buffered teens against long-term depression and anxiety ● The infant study that found zero effect of Covid on biological aging ● Why grade inflation and parent-teacher distrust may explain more than the pandemic does 🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS:  Learn More About This Episode's Guest: 📖 Dr. Anna Johnson: https://www.cdsplab.org/faculty https://gufaculty360.georgetown.edu/s/contact/00336000014TwO9AAK/anna-d-johnson  🔬 The Child Development special section, "Children's Developmental Trajectories in the Long Shadow of COVID-19":  https://academic.oup.com/chidev/advance-article/doi/10.1093/chidev/aacag153/8763937 Read more on this topic: 📚https://www.cdsplab.org/tulsa-seed-briefs 📚https://academic.oup.com/chidev/advance-article-abstract/doi/10.1093/chidev/aacaf030/8505765 📚https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2027-01613-001 Follow Raising Good Humans: 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 🎙️ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044 Subscribe on Substack for weekly articles and exclusive LIVE Q&As: 📧 https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ 🔔 New episodes every week — subscribe and turn on notifications so you never miss a conversation on raising healthy, resilient humans. This episode is brought to you by: Great Wolf Lodge: With 22 lodges across the country, you’re always only a short drive away from adventure. Learn more at GreatWolf.com and strengthen the pack. Boar’s Head: For lunchtime inspiration visit: boarshead.com/backtoschool. For Boar’s Head, head to your local deli counter. Kodiak: Feel good about snack choices with Kodiak Bars. Find them at kodiakcakes.com or your local grocery store. They’re the ones with the bear on the box. Merit Beauty: Right now, Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their Signature Makeup Bag – which if you’ve seen it, it’s not just a make-up bag but really an accessory – free with your first order at meritbeauty.com.   Minnow: Cabana Capsule celebrates days spent lingering by the sea, soaking up the sun, and savoring the simple luxury of having nowhere to be. Shop the capsule starting July 7th at shopminnow.com and enter code MEETMINNOW15 at checkout to receive 15% off your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sending your teen to their first party?  In this solo episode, developmental psychologist Dr. Aliza Pressman walks parents through exactly how to talk to teenagers about parties before the car ride there. From the alcohol and drug conversation to setting a code word and exit plan, this episode is a practical guide for parenting teenagers through one of the most anxiety-provoking adolescent milestones. What you’ll learn:  ● Curiosity-first scripts for the "parties, alcohol, and drugs" conversation with your teenager  ● Setting a code word and no-questions-asked exit plan for teen safety  ● How to vet a party: supervision, location, and when privacy isn't up for negotiation  ● Talking about consent and physical safety before parties become a factor  ● What to say (and not say) when you pick your teen up afterward  ● Navigating a friend's secret without breaking your teen's trust in you 🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS:  Buy Dr. Aliza Pressman's Book: 📖Order "The 5 Principles of Parenting" by Dr. Aliza Pressman: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-5-Principles-of-Parenting/Aliza-Pressman/9781668014547 Follow Raising Good Humans: 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 🎙️ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044 Subscribe on Substack for weekly articles and exclusive LIVE Q&As:  📧 https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ 🔔 New episodes every week — subscribe and turn on notifications so you never miss a conversation on raising healthy, resilient humans. This episode is brought to you by: Great Wolf Lodge: With 22 lodges across the country, you’re always only a short drive away from adventure. Learn more at GreatWolf.com and strengthen the pack. Boar’s Head: For lunchtime inspiration visit: boarshead.com/backtoschool. For Boar’s Head, head to your local deli counter. Kodiak: Feel good about snack choices with Kodiak Bars. Find them at kodiakcakes.com or your local grocery store. They’re the ones with the bear on the box. Wayfair: Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase and start saving on your next home upgrade. Head to Wayfair.com to shop all things home. Wayfair. Every Style. Every Home.  OneSkin: Born from over 10 years of longevity research, OneSkin is helping you unlock your healthiest skin now and as you age. For a limited time, try OneSkin with 15% off using code RGH at oneskin.co/RGH. Tell them we sent you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is your child's relationship with food already shaped by guilt, fear, or "good food/bad food" rules — even before they can talk? Registered dietitian Jennifer Anderson, founder of Kids Eat in Color, joins Dr. Aliza Pressman to unpack "embodied independence" — the idea that raising confident eaters means combining a healthy relationship with food and the practical skills to take care of one's body. This is a must-listen for any parent trying to raise a healthy eater without passing down diet culture baggage. What you’ll learn: Why labeling foods "good" or "bad" creates food rules, guilt, and inflexible thinking later in life Practical scripts for introducing dessert without using food as a reward or a bargaining chip Red flags for extreme picky eating and ARFID — and when to bring concerns to your pediatrician The "sit, connect, and expose" approach that gets even the pickiest toddlers trying new foods How to set boundaries with grandparents and relatives around sweets and body comments 🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS: Learn more about Jennifer Anderson’s work: 📖 Feed Them Well: A Guide to Raising Healthy, Confident Eaters for Life https://kidseatincolor.com/landing-pages/feed-them-well-book/?utm_source=podcast-guest&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=book-awareness&utm_content= 📱 Follow Kids Eat in Color on Instagram:@kids.eat.in.color 🧪 Take the Pediatric Screener for ARFID and Extreme Picky Eating (PSAE):https://kidseatincolor.com/picky-eating-and-arfid-screener-for-kids-psa-eat/ Buy Dr. Aliza Pressman's Book: 📖Order "The 5 Principles of Parenting" by Dr. Aliza Pressman: https://www.amazon.com/Principles-Parenting-Essential-Raising-Humans/dp/166801453X Follow Raising Good Humans: 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 🎙️ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044 Subscribe on Substack for weekly articles and exclusive LIVE Q&As:  📧 https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ This episode is brought to you by: Great Wolf Lodge: With 22 lodges across the country, you’re always only a short drive away from adventure. Learn more at GreatWolf.com and strengthen the pack. Boar’s Head: For lunchtime inspiration visit: boarshead.com/backtoschool. For Boar’s Head, head to your local deli counter. Goodr: Ready to upgrade your eyewear to something functional, fashionable, fun, and affordable? Head to goodr.com/HUMANS to claim $10 off your first order. OneSkin: Born from over 10 years of longevity research, OneSkin is helping you unlock your healthiest skin now and as you age. For a limited time, try OneSkin with 15% off using code RGH at oneskin.co/RGH. Tell them we sent you. Kodiak: Feel good about snack choices with Kodiak Bars. Find them at kodiakcakes.com or your local grocery store. They’re the ones with the bear on the box. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you know how to disagree with your kid without a fight breaking out? Most of us have been told that the fix for a bad disagreement is more empathy — really try to see it from their side. But Julia Minson, negotiation researcher at Harvard's Kennedy School, joins Dr. Aliza Pressman to share what her experimental research actually shows: telling someone to "try harder to empathize" barely changes the outcome of a conflict. Instead, Julia and Aliza dig into why disagreement has gotten so much more fraught in families, what really makes someone feel heard, and a concrete, teachable framework for disagreeing with your kids, your partner, or anyone else without torching the relationship. What you’ll learn: Why "try to see it from their perspective" doesn't actually work, according to the research "Listening with your words": the specific language that proves you're actually paying attention The "curiosity sandwich" — a script for disagreeing without abandoning your own point of view Argue, don't fight: how to model constructive disagreement in front of your kids The HEAR framework: hedge, emphasize agreement, acknowledge, and reframe to the positive 🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS: 📖 Buy Julia Minson's book, How to Disagree Better https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/774525/how-to-disagree-better-by-julia-minson/ 📱 Follow Raising Good Humans Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 📧 Follow Raising Good Humans with Dr. Aliza Pressman on Substack: https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ 🎙️ Follow Raising Good Humans Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044 📖Order "The 5 Principles of Parenting" by Dr. Aliza Pressman: https://www.amazon.com/Principles-Parenting-Essential-Raising-Humans/dp/166801453X This episode is brought to you by: Great Wolf Lodge: With 22 lodges across the country, you’re always only a short drive away from adventure. Learn more at GreatWolf.com and strengthen the pack. Boar’s Head: For lunchtime inspiration visit: boarshead.com/backtoschool. For Boar’s Head, head to your local deli counter. Kodiak: Feel good about snack choices with Kodiak Bars. Find them at kodiakcakes.com or your local grocery store. They’re the ones with the bear on the box. BetterHelp: See the reviews, see what stands out, and see if BetterHelp is right for you. Visit Betterhelp.com/humans.  OneSkin: Born from over 10 years of longevity research, OneSkin is helping you unlock your healthiest skin now and as you age. For a limited time, try OneSkin with 15% off using code RGH at oneskin.co/RGH. Tell them we sent you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you use your imagination enough? Most parents think of imagination as something for playtime — a "nice to have" that fades once kids get older and life gets "serious." But Dr. Cassandra Vieten, director of science programs at the Arthur C. Clarke Center for Human Imagination at UC San Diego, joins Dr. Aliza Pressman to make the case that imagination is a trainable skill with real developmental and psychological weight. They unpack the connection between imagination and anxiety, why kids naturally live closer to the "field of possibility" than adults do, and how something as simple as a car-ride question can open up conversations that "how was your day?" never will. What You’ll Learn: The real, physiological link between imagination and anxiety How to use your child's favorite fandom as a doorway into connection Strategies to turn discipline moments into imagination-building thought experiments How to use screens and social media for connection instead of "slot machine" scrolling 🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS: 📖 Pre-order "Imagine That: How You Can Transform How You Think, Feel, and Live Through the Science of Imagination" by Dr. Cassandra Vieten: https://cassandravieten.com/books/  📱 Follow Raising Good Humans Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 📧 Follow Raising Good Humans with Dr. Aliza Pressman on Substack: https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ 🎙️ Follow Raising Good Humans Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044 This episode is brought to you by: Kodiak: Feel good about snack choices with Kodiak Bars. Find them at kodiakcakes.com or your local grocery store. They’re the ones with the bear on the box. Great Wolf Lodge: Don’t miss The 84-Degree Sale. Book August 2nd through 5th at Greatwolf.com for an easy family getaway—only at Great Wolf Lodge, always just a short drive away. Goodr: Ready to upgrade your eyewear to something functional, fashionable, fun, and affordable? Head to goodr.com/HUMANS to claim $10 off your first order. Boar’s Head: For lunchtime inspiration visit: boarshead.com/backtoschool. For Boar’s Head, head to your local deli counter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices