Ep 271: Settling or shifting priorities?

In this episode, Renae welcomes back Béa Victoria Albina, author of the new book End Emotional Outsourcing. Béa shares how emotional outsourcing goes way beyond simple “people pleasing”—it’s a nervous system survival skill that gets wired into us early on. Together, they dig into what emotional outsourcing really means, how it shows up in relationships, and why self-trust and somatic healing are key to breaking the cycle.The conversation covers everything from rumination loops and burnout to consumerism and why shopping won’t fix what’s going on inside. Béa explains why change is possible at any age (yes, even 78!), why it’s not “narcissistic” to want to be seen, and how being direct with others is actually an act of love. If you’ve ever felt stuck in people pleasing, overgiving, or just tired of constantly proving your worth, this episode will shift the way you see yourself.Chapters00:00Introduction and Book Announcement01:11Understanding Emotional Outsourcing03:15Personal Journey and Codependency04:55Nature vs. Nurture in Emotional Patterns06:39Living Authentically and Self-Trust11:11Curiosity and Self-Discovery16:19Frameworks for Change18:12Hope for Change at Any Age22:21Being Less of an Asshole24:59Navigating Childhood Trauma and Its Lasting Impact27:04Understanding the Nervous System and Thought Patterns34:31Burnout: Causes, Prevention, and Recovery Strategies40:58Consumerism, Happiness, and Intentional Living43:07Setting Boundaries: The Balance of Kindness and Self-Respect🔗 Links & Resources: – Get on Renae’s newsletter → Click here– Visit her site → renaesaager.com– Connect on Instagram → @renaesaager– Grab her book → Eat, Drink, Think

In this episode, Renae sits down with her husband David to talk about what happens when you and your partner want totally different things out of a weekend. One of you thrives on staying busy, the other is perfectly content lounging at home—and both of you end up a little resentful.They share how they’ve (imperfectly) navigated these differences, from carving out “me-time” to begrudgingly watching family movie nights, and why compromise, communication, and acceptance matter more than chasing some Instagram-perfect idea of marriage.If you’ve ever wondered, “Why can’t they just do things my way?”—this one’s for you.00:00Navigating Different Energies in Relationships03:01Understanding Ideal Days and Personal Needs05:47The Push-Pull of Compromise08:45Communication and Acceptance in Relationships11:49The Reality of Resentment and Expectations14:35Comparing Relationships and Finding Balance🔗 Links & Resources: – Get on Renae’s newsletter → Click here– Visit her site → renaesaager.com– Connect on Instagram → @renaesaager– Grab her book → Eat, Drink, Think

What happens when motherhood doesn’t check every single box? When you love your kid like crazy and still want more for yourself?In this episode, I get into the messy, complicated truth about feeling unfulfilled in motherhood. The guilt, the judgment, the “shouldn’t this be enough?” soundtrack we all pick up from family, media, and society. I talk about why I don’t believe one role, even motherhood, can (or should) be your whole identity, and why wanting more doesn’t mean you love your child any less.Motherhood is amazing, hilarious, exhausting—and it doesn’t have to be the only thing that defines you.🔗 Links & Resources: – Get on Renae’s newsletter → Click here– Visit her site → renaesaager.com– Connect on Instagram → @renaesaager– Grab her book → Eat, Drink, Think

In this episode, Renae dives into the messy reality of support—the kind you dream of getting, the kind that blindsides you in the best way, and the kind that never comes.From launching her first merch line to releasing her book to the hardest chapter of losing her mom, she shares the sting of being let down by people she thought would be there, alongside the deep gratitude for unexpected support that showed up instead.With humor, honesty, and a little tough love, she unpacks why we all secretly want mind-readers, why that never works, and how asking for what you need is the real power move.🔗 Links & Resources: – Get on Renae’s newsletter → Click here– Visit her site → renaesaager.com– Connect on Instagram → @renaesaager– Grab her book → Eat, Drink, Think

This week, I sat down with my friend Katie to talk about the real stuff: comparison traps, GLP-1 drugs, and why we’re all so hooked on the next quick fix. From eating disorders to over-giving in relationships, Katie shares how chasing “skinny” nearly cost her everything — and what actually changed when she stopped outsourcing her worth.We also get into dopamine addiction, why “what I eat in a day” reels are a mindfuck, and how to finally stop abandoning yourself for the illusion of acceptance. If you’ve ever thought, maybe if I lose the weight / make the money / get the validation, I’ll finally feel good, this episode will hit home.Katie Kozlowski is a master energy and embodiment coach, creative force, and founder of The Shaktibomb Way. Rooted in personal transformation, her work merges boldness, self-love, and spiritual depth, guiding others to embrace their authentic selves. Her vibe is a fusion of rebellious elegance and grounded sensitivity—radiating confidence while honoring emotional depth. Expect unapologetic truth, radical self-respect, and electric energy when you step into her space. She empowers people—especially women—to shatter limits, master their inner world, and radiate brilliance, all while embracing the beauty in imperfection.If you want to send them to a free gift The Powershift Activation is it! https://www.katiekozlowski.com/empoweryourselftoday🔗 Links & Resources: – Get on Renae’s newsletter → Click here– Visit her site → renaesaager.com– Connect on Instagram → @renaesaager– Grab her book → Eat, Drink, Think

Going out to eat used to be a battlefield. I’d spend days restricting, obsessing over the menu, showing up starving, pretending to have “just a few bites,” then swinging through Taco Bell on the way home to binge in secret.This week I’m telling the story of how the same exact scenario looks now: ordering what I want, sharing dessert, taking leftovers home, even eating them later that night — without guilt, without secrecy, without the spiral.This episode isn’t really about a dinner, though. It’s about proof. Proof that freedom is possible. That you can move from panic and control to ease and presence. And that the changes you’ve worked so hard for often show up in the smallest, most ordinary moments — like bread pudding and decaf coffee on a random Saturday night.🔗 Links & Resources: – Get on Renae’s newsletter → Click here– Visit her site → renaesaager.com– Connect on Instagram → @renaesaager– Grab her book → Eat, Drink, Think

Motherhood isn’t diapers, snacks, and never-ending laundry — that’s caregiving. And while caregiving is hard, it’s not the same thing as being a mom.In this conversation with Hannah Olson, we break down the difference between the two and why this shift in language can lift so much of the guilt and pressure moms feel.We get into:Why “motherhood is hard” is the wrong phrase (and what to say instead).The trap of becoming a workaholic in caregiving.The breastfeeding/pumping guilt spiral so many of us know too well.Why the relationship you build matters more than the task list you complete.Whether you’re in the thick of it or still deciding if kids are even for you, this episode is a refreshing take on what motherhood really means.Connect with Hannah HERE on IG.ABOUT HANNAH:Hannah loves creating, celebrating, and connecting. She spends her time filming and editing Instagram videos, attempting to master sourdough, forgetting to water $30 IKEA plants, and hanging out with her husband and six kids. She's passionate about sharing the message: “Motherhood isn't a job--it's a relationship,” helping women release mom guilt, lighten the mental and physical load, and create a version of motherhood that feels fun and expansive. She also hosts a (sometimes) weekly podcast, Rantish, where she dives into her strong opinions—from Pretzel Jello Salad and pelvic floor physical therapy to widely-believed motherhood myths. Her hope is to build a sense of connection and belonging for women—especially lonely stay-at-home moms.SUMMARY:00:00 – Intro & Meeting Hannah How Renae found Hannah online + why she wanted her on the show.01:10 – Six Kids?! Hannah shares her background, LDS roots, and early feelings about motherhood.02:20 – The Programming Around Motherhood Why she cried through her first pregnancy + the identity loss many women feel.05:20 – Language Shapes Motherhood How words like “motherhood” vs. “caregiving” change everything.10:45 – Motherhood Is a Relationship The big idea: motherhood = relationship, caregiving = tasks/tools.12:45 – Judging Other Moms (and Eating Your Words) Renae’s daycare story + how perspective changes once you’re in it.16:30 – Becoming a Caregiving Workaholic Why doing it all can actually harm your relationship with your kids.18:40 – Finding Space Outside Caregiving Unicorn space, shared caregiving, and why both parents need breaks.22:40 – The Purpose of Hannah’s Work Her mission to change the language around motherhood.30:45 – Pumping, Breastfeeding, and Mom Guilt Renae’s raw story + Hannah’s reframe on tools vs. relationship.36:40 – Outsourcing Motherhood? Is there a line where you’ve given away too much?41:20 – Language Swap: Motherhood vs. Caregiving Why saying “motherhood is hard” keeps women stuck.44:45 – What’s Next for Hannah How to connect with her + closing thoughts.🔗 Links & Resources: – Get on Renae’s newsletter → Click here– Visit her site → renaesaager.com– Connect on Instagram → @renaesaager– Grab her book → Eat, Drink, Think

This episode isn’t some 5-step plan for finding your passion. It’s a real conversation about what happens when your priorities shift—and you’re not sure if that means you're maturing or just giving up. Renae talks about how having a kid, getting married, and not giving a shit about abs anymore has her rethinking the whole “never settle” narrative.Is it settling... or is it finally feeling safe? If you’ve ever panicked at the thought of forever or felt guilty for not pushing so hard in every area of life, this one’s for you.🔗 Links & Resources: – Get on Renae’s newsletter → Click here– Visit her site → renaesaager.com– Connect on Instagram → @renaesaager– Grab her book → Eat, Drink, Think

In this raw, reflective episode of The Renae Saager Show, Renae shares the messy truth behind her longest run in nearly a decade—and how it cracked open unexpected clarity about identity, comparison, and self-trust.What starts as a story about an 8-hour race turns into real talk about the emotional weight of doing life differently: raising a toddler without family nearby, grieving a parent, recovering from disordered eating, staying sober for 16 years, and not always "training for the race"—but still showing up.She breaks down how easy it is to compare yourself to people who aren’t even in the same damn race, and why two years is the sweet spot for real growth to start taking root—even if it’s messy.If you’ve ever thought “I should be further along by now,” or looked at someone else and instantly felt behind—this one’s for you.🔗 Links & Resources: – Get on Renae’s newsletter → Click here– Visit her site → renaesaager.com– Connect on Instagram → @renaesaager– Grab her book → Eat, Drink, Think

In this episode, Renae tackles one of the most common (and quietly shame-filled) questions she gets from women: “Why am I snacking nonstop after my toddler goes to bed/at the end of the day?"t’s not because you “lack discipline.” It’s because you’re underfed, overextended, and running yourself into the ground, all while trying to stay calm, competent, and invisible.Renae breaks down the real reasons women find themselves eating after dark, from mental overload to food as the only form of relief. She calls out the low-carb bullshit we’ve all internalized, explains how “just surviving the day” sets us up to binge at night, and gives two clear, doable steps to start breaking the cycle—without needing a new meal plan, a better planner, or a personality transplant.This one is for the high-functioning, overstretched woman who’s tired of eating her feelings in the dark and ready to do something about it.🔗 Links & Resources: – Get on Renae’s newsletter → Click here– Visit her site → renaesaager.com– Connect on Instagram → @renaesaager– Grab her book → Eat, Drink, Think