Thanks, But No Thanks

How do you shepherd your kids through a ministry transition they did not ask for? And what do you do when church conflict gets so personal that you start wondering whether everyone would be better off without you?This week Andrew, Tim, Del, and Jeff tackle two deeply personal questions from the Practically Pastoring Facebook Community.First, a pastor is about 95 percent sure God is leading his family to another church after ten years. His kids are 18, 16, 13, and 11, and some of them are struggling with the idea of leaving the only church home they really remember.The guys talk about why older kids need room to grieve, how to give teenagers age-appropriate agency, whether older kids should be allowed to stay connected to their old youth group, when to tell them about a possible move, and why pastor’s kids should not be forced to pretend they are excited just because Dad is convinced God is leading somewhere new.Jeff introduces the idea of ambiguous loss, the grief that begins before the transition is fully settled, and the group discusses whether a spouse or child should ever have enough influence to effectively veto a ministry move.Then the conversation turns much heavier.A pastor has been stuck in months of church conflict between two family members. One of them confronted him after worship, he lost his temper in response, and now he is questioning whether he is the real problem.The guys talk about owning a sinful response without turning one bad moment into a verdict on your whole ministry, making a sincere apology without chasing someone who refuses to receive it, bringing elders into the conflict, refusing to play “hero ball,” and remembering that the pastor is also a member of the church who needs to be cared for.Most importantly, they warn against letting two unhealthy people become the entire congregation in your head.Conflict is loud.Faithfulness is often quiet.And the loudest people are not everybody.Join more than 1,600 pastors and ministry leaders in the Practically Pastoring Facebook Community for honest conversations about family, calling, conflict, transition, and the things you cannot always talk about publicly.Don’t do ministry alone.SPONSORThanks to our friends at Church Merch for supporting Practically Pastoring.For volunteer shirts, mugs, banners, tumblers, event gear, welcome materials, and more, visit promotionsguy.com/churchmerch.Church Merch, merch for your church.

How do you know when God is finally releasing you from a ministry you have loved for years? And how long should you keep doing additional ministry work after your church has already agreed you should be paid for it?This week Andrew, Tim, Del, and Jeff tackle two questions about recognizing when a ministry season has changed.First, a 40-year-old youth pastor has spent almost 20 years in student ministry and nearly a decade at his current church. For years, every lead-pastor opportunity seemed to end with the same answer: stay.Now, for the first time, he feels differently.The guys talk about distinguishing a genuine release from burnout, involving your spouse and trusted leaders in the discernment process, talking honestly with your current senior pastor, asking hard questions of the potential new church, and why a process does not have to be painfully long to be wise. They also discuss whether 20 years in youth ministry really means “starting over” in a lead role and why pastoral identity should never be built entirely around a title.Then the conversation turns to a covocational youth pastor who agreed to launch a college ministry as a volunteer experiment.The experiment worked.The ministry grew, church leadership agreed that the role should become part of his job description and compensation, and ten months later he is still doing the additional work for free.The guys get direct about church compensation, committee delays, setting a concrete timeline, tracking ministry hours, asking a senior pastor to advocate for staff, and why continuing indefinitely under a temporary arrangement teaches the organization that the arrangement is working.They also discuss whether young-adult ministry can be undervalued because its fruit is less visible in the church budget, and how to help leadership see what is actually happening through attendance, Sunday-morning crossover, volunteers, baptisms, ministry hours, and other measurable outcomes.The big takeaway from both conversations:Sometimes waiting is faithful.Sometimes the faithful thing is recognizing that the season has already changed and acting accordingly.Join more than 1,500 pastors and ministry leaders in the Practically Pastoring Facebook Community for conversations about calling, staffing, compensation, preaching, conflict, and everything else that actually happens in ministry.Don’t do ministry alone.SPONSORThanks to our friends at Church Merch for supporting Practically Pastoring.For volunteer shirts, mugs, banners, tumblers, event gear, welcome materials, and more, visit promotionsguy.com/churchmerch.Church Merch, merch for your church.

What do you do when somebody hands you the keys to a church for the first time? And what do you do when you are interviewing with a church and realize you absolutely do not want the keys?This week Andrew, Tim, and Jeff tackle two questions from opposite ends of the pastoral hiring process.First, a bivocational pastor in his 40s has just been appointed lead pastor of a church of around 200 people after the previous pastor left burned out. He has a decade of college ministry experience but has never led an entire church before.The guys talk about why his first 90 days should be more about listening than changing, clarifying authority with the elders, learning the church’s history and unspoken traditions, reviewing budgets and bylaws, protecting sermon-prep and pastoral-care capacity, and building sustainable rhythms before he inherits the same expectations that burned out the last pastor.They also discuss tactical versus strategic changes, low-hanging wins, using existing sermons, building trust with volunteers, and why the healthiest first act of leadership may simply be refusing to become another burned-out pastor.Then the conversation shifts to a pastor who has been job hunting for six months and has already withdrawn from four church searches.How honest should you be when a church asks, “But why?”The guys talk about when a simple “this is not the right fit” is enough, when feedback might actually help a search committee, how to describe red flags without attacking people, why compensation is absolutely a legitimate reason to walk away, and why search firms or denominational leaders may be the safest place to give more candid feedback.Tim shares the hiring side of the process, Jeff tells the story of flying to Montana only to discover the compensation would not work, and Andrew shares a memorable story about a candidate backing out after one very confusing lunch.The takeaway: clarity is kindness, but kindness does not mean you owe everyone every thought you had during the interview.Join more than 1,500 pastors and ministry leaders in the Practically Pastoring Facebook Community for real questions about church leadership, hiring, preaching, conflict, and the things seminary somehow forgot to cover.Don’t do ministry alone.SPONSORThanks to our friends at Church Merch for supporting Practically Pastoring.For volunteer shirts, mugs, banners, tumblers, event gear, welcome materials, and more, visit promotionsguy.com/churchmerch.Church Merch, merch for your church.

How involved should you stay in the life of a church you no longer pastor? And while we are solving church problems, how loud is too loud on Sunday morning?This week it is just Andrew, Tim, and Jeff tackling two questions from the Practically Pastoring Facebook Community.First, a former pastor keeps getting pulled back into conflict at a church he left years ago. People he still loves and trusts are calling with stories of staff turnover, questionable leadership, financial concerns, and people getting hurt. How do you care for former church members without becoming their “shadow pastor” or the unofficial court of appeals for their current leadership?That question hits especially close to home for Andrew, who admits he is dealing with a similar situation and also admits something else: he really wants to know the church drama.The guys discuss pastoral boundaries, Jeff’s denominational principle of “courteous finality,” the difference between friendship and pastoral authority, when listening becomes participating, what to do with your ministry “Spidey sense,” and why sometimes the most faithful response is simply directing people back toward the appropriate leaders and channels.Then things get louder.A church member says worship is “unbearably loud,” even though the sanctuary typically runs in the low-to-mid 80-decibel range. The guys talk about realistic sound levels, measuring throughout the room instead of only at the booth, stage volume, speaker placement, harsh frequencies, hearing and sensory issues, quieter seating areas, and even whether providing earplugs is a thoughtful accommodation or an admission that things have gotten out of hand.The common thread: people want to be heard. Taking someone seriously does not always mean agreeing with their conclusion.Join more than 1,500 pastors and ministry leaders in the Practically Pastoring Facebook Community to ask questions, share ideas, and connect with people who understand ministry life.Don’t do ministry alone.SPONSORThanks to our friends at Church Merch for supporting Practically Pastoring and the Practically Pastoring Conference.For shirts, banners, mugs, tumblers, promotional products, and apparently custom-branded earplugs, visit promotionsguy.com/churchmerch.Church Merch, merch for your church.

How do you actually get your first ministry job? And once somebody finally hires you, what are you supposed to do all week?This week, Andrew, Tim, Delmar, Jeff, and returning guest Frank Gil tackle two questions from opposite sides of the same ministry journey.First, a 29-year-old recent graduate with a degree in ministerial leadership is struggling to find a full-time ministry position. The guys talk about how slow church hiring can be, why a handful of applications may not be enough, when to broaden your geographic search, whether you might be applying one level too high, and why bivocational or smaller ministry roles should not be viewed as failures.Frank talks about networking without becoming transactional, Tim shares what he actually looks for when hiring inexperienced staff, and the guys discuss résumés, references, theological alignment, ministry experience, and the importance of having your calling affirmed by people who know you well.Then they turn to a brand-new solo pastor at a small church who has almost complete control over his weekly schedule and is asking the question seminary never answered: what do pastors actually do all week?The conversation gets very practical: building a weekly rhythm, protecting sermon prep, scheduling visits, creating external systems for ADHD, managing office hours, staying reachable without becoming available 24/7, building boundaries as a single pastor, and learning to leave margin for the unexpected.The big takeaway: before you get the job, ministry can feel idealized. After you get the job, much of ministry feels ordinary. Faithfulness looks like serving, studying, visiting, planning, returning calls, building relationships, and knowing when to go home.Join more than 1,500 pastors and ministry leaders in the Practically Pastoring Facebook Community to ask questions, share ideas, and connect with other people who understand ministry life.Don’t do ministry alone.SPONSORThanks to our friends at Church Merch for supporting Practically Pastoring. For shirts, mugs, banners, promotional products, tumblers, and more, visit promotionsguy.com/churchmerch.Church Merch, merch for your church.

What happens after the funeral, when the meals stop coming, the calls slow down, and everyone else’s life seems to return to normal?Andrew, Tim, Delmar, and Jeff respond to a pastor 32 years into ministry who still wrestles with caring well for grieving families in the months after a loss. The guys talk about building a “second wave” of pastoral care, remembering death anniversaries and difficult holidays, involving elders and church members, creating simple follow-up systems, and making sure grieving people are not responsible for reminding the church that they are still grieving.Jeff also shares about his church’s Blue Christmas service, designed specifically for people carrying loss into the holiday season.Then the conversation moves to the opposite end of the ministry spectrum: a 25-year-old Bible college student who loves preaching, teaching, and especially counseling, but has zero desire to become the stereotypical “visionary leader.”Does that mean pastoral ministry is the wrong fit?The guys discuss the difference between shepherding and CEO-style leadership, why pastors still have to lead even if leadership is not their favorite part of ministry, and the many different ways pastoral gifting can take shape. Andrew shares why leadership is not the part of senior pastoring he naturally enjoys, while the guys encourage young ministry leaders to discern their calling in the local church rather than from a leadership textbook.Whether you are just beginning ministry or have been serving for more than three decades, there will always be areas where you need other people, better systems, more wisdom, and humility.Join more than 1,500 pastors and ministry leaders in the Practically Pastoring Facebook Community. Ask questions, post anonymously, and connect with people who understand ministry life.Don’t do ministry alone.SPONSORThanks to our friends at Church Merch for supporting Practically Pastoring. For shirts, mugs, banners, promotional products, and more, visit promotionsguy.com/churchmerch.Church Merch, merch for your church.

How often should church staff actually meet, and how do you survive preaching every single week without burning yourself out?Andrew, Tim, Delmar, and Jeff start with a question from the Practically Pastoring Facebook group about staff meetings in a church with both full-time and part-time ministry staff. The guys compare their very different church contexts and talk about weekly versus monthly meetings, who really needs to be in the room, paying part-time staff for meeting time, using Zoom when schedules are difficult, and why a meeting should accomplish more than simply proving that your church has meetings.The goal is not more meetings. It is better communication, stronger relationships, shared culture, fewer ministry silos, and fewer surprises. Sometimes that requires everyone around a table. Sometimes it requires a 40-minute Zoom call, a group chat, or simply knowing which conversations belong in an email instead.Then the conversation turns to a pastor six months into weekly preaching who already feels exhausted by the constant cycle of studying, writing, praying, and preparing. The guys talk about developing preaching muscles, resisting perfectionism, preaching through books of the Bible, caring for yourself physically as well as spiritually, and refusing to compare your preparation time to pastors who have been preaching for decades.The big idea: hit singles. You do not need to preach the greatest sermon of your life every Sunday. Explain the text faithfully, apply it clearly, trust God with the results, and come back next week.The guys also discuss building additional voices in the pulpit, why 40-ish Sundays a year is a healthy target for many lead pastors, and how developing other preachers benefits both the pastor and the church.Join more than 1,400 pastors and ministry leaders in the Practically Pastoring Facebook Community. Ask questions, post anonymously, share what you are learning, and find other pastors who understand ministry life. Don’t do ministry alone.SPONSORSChurch MerchShirts, mugs, banners, promotional products, and more for your church. Visit promotionsguy.com/churchmerch. Church Merch, merch for your church.Preach26October 6-8 in The Woodlands, Texas. Connect with other pastors and hear from leaders including Dane Ortlund, Brian McCormack, Hakeem Bradley, and more.Visit preach26.com and use promo code PastorPod at checkout to receive TWO entries in all conference giveaways, including the three-night Jackson Lake Lodge getaway in Wyoming.

This week we’ve got two questions about worship leaders, but they represent two very different staffing problems.First, a lead pastor inherited a worship pastor who just doesn’t seem to fit. Eight months in, there are significant differences in philosophy of ministry and worship, almost every request seems to generate pushback, and now volunteers are starting to express their own frustrations. The pastor thinks it may be time to make a change, but this isn’t a simple competency issue. So when does bad chemistry become a legitimate staffing problem? How do you distinguish between personality differences, philosophical incompatibility, and actual insubordination? And if it really is time to move on, how do you do it in a way that is clear, kind, and healthy for the church?Then we flip the situation. A younger, part-time worship leader is talented, well-liked, and doing a great job on Sundays, but struggling with communication, meetings, planning, and leading outside of the platform. Is that a problem that needs correcting, or a young leader who simply needs someone to teach him how ministry employment actually works? Before churches complain about what a part-time employee isn’t doing, they also need to ask whether they’ve clearly communicated the expectations and whether they’re actually paying for enough hours to accomplish them.Ultimately, we’re talking about knowing when to cut someone loose and when to coach them up. Clear expectations, honest conversations, accountability, and a willingness to invest in people can make all the difference. Sometimes the person really is misaligned. Sometimes they just don’t know what nobody has bothered to teach them.Thanks to Church Merch for sponsoring the show. For shirts, mugs, banners, promotional products, and more, check out Church Merch through Promotions Guy. And thanks to Preach26, happening October 6–8 in The Woodlands, Texas. Head to preach26.com, and use code PASTORPOD at checkout to get your name entered twice in all the conference giveaways, including a three-night getaway at Jackson Lake Lodge in Wyoming.And don’t forget the Practically Pastoring Facebook community. Join more than 1,400 pastors and ministry leaders, jump into the conversation, and post your ministry questions anonymously for a chance to have us work through them on a future episode.

In this episode of Practically Pastoring, Andrew, Tim, Delmar, and Jeff tackle two questions from pastors stepping into new levels of responsibility.First, the guys respond to a young pastor in his first week of leading a church after the previous pastor left abruptly. He is already preaching twice a week, facing opposition, and wondering whether sermon preparation can count as his personal devotional time.The conversation explores the relationship between studying Scripture for yourself and studying it for the congregation. The guys discuss why sermon preparation should nourish the pastor, why personal devotion should not become a rigid legalistic requirement, and how pastors can build sustainable rhythms of prayer, reading, journaling, and study.They also address the warning signs beneath the question. Opposition during the first week likely reveals unresolved grief, hurt, or conflict that predates the new pastor. Rather than preaching at critics or assuming every concern is persecution, the pastor needs outside relationships, honest self-examination, and the wisdom to learn what happened before he arrived.The guys also talk about the strain of preaching two distinct sermons every week and whether a church’s second gathering needs another full sermon. Suggestions include preaching through books of the Bible, developing additional teachers, using trusted sermon resources wisely, and creating intentional seasons and breaks for midweek or evening services.The conversation turns to a youth pastor preparing to become the senior pastor of a struggling church that has been without pastoral leadership for more than two years.The guys discuss listening before leading, honoring the older members who carried the church through difficult seasons, learning the congregation’s history, and building trust through ordinary pastoral presence. Meals, hospital visits, funerals, home visits, and consistent biblical preaching will often accomplish more during the first year than a polished vision presentation.They also explore how youth ministry prepares someone for senior leadership through preaching, volunteer development, conflict management, team building, and shepherding families. A new senior pastor may be a rookie in the position, but he is not necessarily a rookie pastor.The Practically Pastoring Facebook Community includes more than 1,400 pastors and ministry leaders asking real questions, sharing practical wisdom, and encouraging one another through the challenges of ministry.Many of the questions discussed on the podcast come directly from the community, and questions can be posted publicly or anonymously.Search Facebook for the Practically Pastoring Facebook Community, join the conversation, and invite another pastor or ministry leader who needs people in his corner.Do not do ministry alone.Church Merch provides high-quality shirts, mugs, banners, speakers, Apple products, promotional items, and more for churches and ministries.Their products are comfortable, durable, and backed by real customer service. Church Merch also supports gospel-centered ministry initiatives, including resources that help Christians create opportunities to pray with people in everyday life.Visit promotionsguy.com/churchmerch.Church Merch, merch for your church.Preach26 is a conference for pastors and ministry leaders happening October 6 through 8 in The Woodlands, Texas.The conference gives pastors an opportunity to connect with others navigating similar ministry challenges while learning from leaders including Dane Ortlund, Brian McCormack, Hakeem Bradley, and more.The purchase of a ticket also enters attendees into conference giveaways, including a three-night getaway for two at Jackson Lake Lodge in Wyoming.Visit www.preach26.com and use the promo code PastorPod at checkout to receive two entries in all conference giveaways, including the Wyoming weekend getaway.

In this episode of Practically Pastoring, Andrew, Tim, Delmar, and Jeff tackle two children’s ministry questions that both require clarity, wisdom, and a willingness to have uncomfortable conversations.First, the guys discuss a 10 or 11-year-old boy who sometimes comes to church without his parents and regularly lingers after the service. His desire to get himself to church should be celebrated, but it also raises important questions about supervision, transportation, liability, and the church’s responsibility for an unaccompanied child.The conversation explores how churches can create a clear plan without making the child feel unwanted. The guys discuss contacting the parents, gathering emergency information, assigning a trusted adult or family, providing safe transportation, documenting unusual arrangements, and looking beneath the logistical issue to understand why the child may be reluctant to leave.The second half of the episode turns to a youth pastor whose church introduced a newly hired female children’s ministry leader as “Pastor.” He believes that conflicts with his complementarian convictions and with what he understood about the church during the hiring process.Rather than reopening the entire theological debate, the guys focus on the practical question: how should he move forward?They discuss the different ways churches and denominations define titles like pastor, elder, minister, and director. They also emphasize the need for a calm conversation with leadership, honest examination of personal convictions, and clarity about whether the disagreement involves terminology, church polity, theology, or a breakdown in the hiring process.The episode closes with a reminder that good intentions are not enough. Churches need clarity about who is responsible for children, what ministry titles mean, and how theological convictions are communicated and practiced.The Practically Pastoring Facebook Community now includes more than 1,400 pastors and ministry leaders asking real questions, offering practical wisdom, and reminding one another not to do ministry alone.Many of the questions discussed on the podcast come directly from the group, and questions may be posted publicly or anonymously.Search Facebook for the Practically Pastoring Facebook Community, join the conversation, and invite another pastor or ministry leader who needs people in his corner.Church Merch provides shirts, mugs, banners, promotional products, and more for churches and ministries. They offer high-quality products, quick turnaround, personal service, and a commitment to supporting gospel ministry.Visit promotionsguy.com/churchmerch.Church Merch, merch for your church.Preach26 is a conference for pastors and ministry leaders happening October 6 through 8 in The Woodlands, Texas.Attendees will connect with other ministry leaders and learn from speakers including Dane Ortlund, Brian McCormack, Hakeem Bradley, and more.The purchase of a ticket also enters attendees into conference giveaways, including a three-night getaway for two at Jackson Lake Lodge in Wyoming.Visit www.preach26.com and use the promo code PastorPod at checkout to receive two entries in all conference giveaways, including the Wyoming weekend getaway.In this episodeJoin the Practically Pastoring CommunitySponsor HighlightsChurch MerchPreach26