#70 Why You Can’t Let Go – Clutter as a Trauma Response After Narcissistic Abuse

In this episode, JM shares compassionate, trauma-informed strategies to support someone who’s struggling with clutter. You’ll learn why clutter often represents safety or survival, how to communicate with empathy, and why consent is non-negotiable. From asking the right questions to celebrating small wins, this guide offers powerful tools to help your loved one reclaim their space—without losing their dignity or trust.IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:How clutter connects to trauma and safety – Understand the emotional roots behind “stuff."What to say (and not say) when helping – Use empathy and curiosity, not pressure.Why consent is essential in decluttering – Respect boundaries to build trust.Simple ways to support without control – Celebrate small wins and offer gentle structure.LINKS AND RESOURCES WITH THIS EPISODE:"Put That Stuff Down" and its sequel (book) - A recommended read exploring the complex relationship between trauma, PTSD, and clutter. It offers personal stories, psychological insights, and practical advice. Click here to learn more: https://up.dowellht.com/bestseller-clutter-and-traumaJoin the thousands of people using the post-trauma secrets and decluttering by starting here: https://dowellht.com/freeyourselfThanks so much for joining us today. Want to subscribe to Post-Trauma Secrets and Decluttering? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review! iTunes not your thing? Find us on Spotify or StitcherSupport the show

In this episode, JM unpacks how emotional attachments to objects can impact communication, especially when trauma or grief is involved. You’ll learn why some people hold on, how to approach decluttering as a household, and strategies like community vs. personal zones, shared goals, and weekly resets. Designed for couples and families, this episode offers a path to declutter with compassion, restore connection, and create a home that feels peaceful for everyone.IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:Why clutter creates household tension – Understand the emotional meaning behind “stuff.”How trauma affects decluttering habits – Learn why some people struggle to let go.Ways to declutter as a team – Use shared goals, zones, and 15-minute resets to stay aligned.How decluttering can heal relationships – Create space for peace, connection, and mutual respect.LINKS AND RESOURCES WITH THIS EPISODE:"Put That Stuff Down" and its sequel (book) - A recommended read exploring the complex relationship between trauma, PTSD, and clutter. It offers personal stories, psychological insights, and practical advice. Click here to learn more: https://up.dowellht.com/bestseller-clutter-and-traumaJoin the thousands of people using the post-trauma secrets and decluttering by starting here: https://dowellht.com/freeyourselfThanks so much for joining us today. Want to subscribe to Post-Trauma Secrets and Decluttering? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review! iTunes not your thing? Find us on Spotify or StitcherSupport the show

In this episode, JM shares the surprising story of a small drill bit with a big emotional impact—lost during a well-meaning garage clean-out. Together, JM and Valerie unpack the hidden cost of letting go too quickly and offer three mindful tips to prevent regret: use a Maybe Box, ask if an item carries a story, and slow down before tossing unique pieces. Whether you're clearing space or facing emotional decisions, this episode helps you declutter with intention, not remorse.IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:What causes decluttering regret – Learn why even small items can hold deep emotional weight.How to avoid letting go too fast – Use a “Maybe Box” to pause before making final decisions.Questions to ask before tossing anything – Identify which items carry meaningful stories.Why mindful decluttering matters – Make choices you won’t second-guess later.LINKS AND RESOURCES WITH THIS EPISODE:"Put That Stuff Down" and its sequel (book) - A recommended read exploring the complex relationship between trauma, PTSD, and clutter. It offers personal stories, psychological insights, and practical advice. Click here to learn more: https://up.dowellht.com/bestseller-clutter-and-traumaJoin the thousands of people using the post-trauma secrets and decluttering by starting here: https://dowellht.com/freeyourselfThanks so much for joining us today. Want to subscribe to Post-Trauma Secrets and Decluttering? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!iTunes not your thing? Find us on Spotify or StitcherSupport the show

In this episode, Valerie and JM unpack the hidden emotional weight behind guilt, nostalgia, and identity that keeps clutter in your life. Learn the psychology behind why letting go is hard—and the mindset shifts that make it easier. This episode covers simple, practical steps to declutter without guilt, from the One-Year Rule to photo-based memory keeping. If you're holding onto things out of obligation, this conversation will help you reclaim space, peace, and purpose—one small step at a time.IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:Why decluttering feels emotionally heavy – Understand the guilt behind letting go.Common types of decluttering guilt – From gifts to memories, learn what holds you back.Mindset shifts that free you from clutter – Reframe regret and focus on what you gain.Easy, guilt-free decluttering steps – Start small, use the One-Year Rule, and keep memories without the mess.LINKS AND RESOURCES WITH THIS EPISODE:"Put That Stuff Down" and its sequel (book) - A recommended read exploring the complex relationship between trauma, PTSD, and clutter. It offers personal stories, psychological insights, and practical advice. Click here to learn more: https://up.dowellht.com/bestseller-clutter-and-traumaJoin the thousands of people using the post-trauma secrets and decluttering by starting here: https://dowellht.com/freeyourselfThanks so much for joining us today. Want to subscribe to Post-Trauma Secrets and Decluttering? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!iTunes not your thing? Find us on Spotify or StitcherSupport the show

In this episode, Valerie shares the emotional story of losing her beloved blanket—and how that moment shaped her view on sentimental clutter. Together with JM, they walk through four powerful strategies to help you declutter keepsakes without regret: from memory boxes to meaningful goodbyes. If you're holding onto items from the past but craving a lighter, more peaceful home, this episode offers practical tools to help you release without losing what matters most.IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:How to declutter sentimental items without regret – Let go without losing emotional connection.Memory box strategy for keepsakes – Keep meaningful items in one intentional space.Creative ways to repurpose childhood items – Transform objects into lasting treasures.Simple rituals to say goodbye – Honor memories while creating space for the present.LINKS AND RESOURCES WITH THIS EPISODE:"Put That Stuff Down" and its sequel (book) - A recommended read exploring the complex relationship between trauma, PTSD, and clutter. It offers personal stories, psychological insights, and practical advice. Click here to learn more: https://up.dowellht.com/bestseller-clutter-and-traumaJoin the thousands of people using the post-trauma secrets and decluttering by starting here: https://dowellht.com/freeyourselfThanks so much for joining us today. Want to subscribe to Post-Trauma Secrets and Decluttering? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!Support the show

In this episode, Valerie and JM open up about the mistakes they wish they had avoided—from rushing the process and tossing sentimental items, to decluttering without a system or support. You’ll learn how to slow down, reduce regret, and use simple strategies like the 4-Box Method and One-Touch Rule. Whether you're starting fresh or resetting after overwhelm, this conversation offers clarity, confidence, and community-driven encouragement for anyone on a decluttering journey.IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:How to declutter without regret – Avoid emotional mistakes like tossing sentimental items too fast.Why slower is smarter – Discover why decluttering in stages prevents burnout and chaos.The power of a proven system – Learn how the 4-Box Method brings clarity and order.Why community matters – See how support and accountability boost long-term success.LINKS AND RESOURCES WITH THIS EPISODE:"Put That Stuff Down" and its sequel (book) - A recommended read exploring the complex relationship between trauma, PTSD, and clutter. It offers personal stories, psychological insights, and practical advice. Click here to learn more: https://up.dowellht.com/bestseller-clutter-and-traumaJoin the thousands of people using the post-trauma secrets and decluttering by starting here: https://dowellht.com/freeyourselfThanks so much for joining us today. Want to subscribe to Post-Trauma Secrets and Decluttering? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!iTunes not your thing? Find us on Spotify or StitcherSupport the show

In this episode, JM and Valerie uncover the hidden link between trauma, narcissistic abuse, and chronic clutter. Through the story of Abby and insights into trauma attachment, you'll learn why letting go feels so hard—and how to start healing your space and your mind. With science-backed tools and compassionate guidance, discover practical steps to declutter safely and reclaim your peace, one item at a time.IN THIS EPISODE:Why trauma and narcissistic abuse create emotional attachment to clutterHow clutter becomes a coping mechanism and safety signalScience-backed steps to declutter without fear or guiltHealing tools to break free from trauma through mindful declutteringLINKS AND RESOURCES WITH THIS EPISODE:"Put That Stuff Down" and its sequel (book) - A recommended read exploring the complex relationship between trauma, PTSD, and clutter. It offers personal stories, psychological insights, and practical advice. Click here to learn more: https://up.dowellht.com/bestseller-clutter-and-traumaJoin the thousands of people using the post-trauma secrets and decluttering by starting here: https://dowellht.com/freeyourselfThanks so much for joining us today. Want to subscribe to Post-Trauma Secrets and Decluttering? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review! iTunes not your thing? Find us on Spotify or StitcherSupport the show

In this episode, Valerie and JM reveal the three key areas silently fueling daily overwhelm and share simple, actionable tips to reclaim your space. From taming countertop chaos to transforming your bedroom into a calming retreat, this is your step-by-step guide to a more peaceful, organized home.IN THIS EPISODE:How clutter increases stress, anxiety, and cortisol levelsTop 3 clutter zones to tackle first: living room, kitchen, and bedroomQuick, actionable decluttering tips for each key spaceSimple daily habits to maintain a calm, organized homeLINKS AND RESOURCES WITH THIS EPISODE:"Put That Stuff Down" and its sequel (book) - A recommended read exploring the complex relationship between trauma, PTSD, and clutter. It offers personal stories, psychological insights, and practical advice. Click here to learn more: https://up.dowellht.com/bestseller-clutter-and-traumaJoin the thousands of people using the post-trauma secrets and decluttering by starting here: https://dowellht.com/freeyourselfThanks so much for joining us today. Want to subscribe to Post-Trauma Secrets and Decluttering? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review! iTunes not your thing? Find us on Spotify or StitcherSupport the show

In this inspiring episode, Valerie and JM take on the challenge of fully decluttering a messy bedroom—and uncover more than just extra space. Through simple strategies like sorting, letting go of sentimental items, and rethinking what truly matters, they reveal how clearing physical clutter leads to emotional clarity. Watch the full transformation and learn how to reclaim peace, focus, and energy—starting with your own space.IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:Step-by-step decluttering tips to simplify any roomHow clutter impacts mood, stress, and focusEasy strategies for letting go of sentimental itemsThe mental and emotional benefits of a tidy spaceLINKS AND RESOURCES WITH THIS EPISODE:"Put That Stuff Down" and its sequel (book) - A recommended read exploring the complex relationship between trauma, PTSD, and clutter. It offers personal stories, psychological insights, and practical advice. Click here to learn more: https://up.dowellht.com/bestseller-clutter-and-traumaJoin the thousands of people using the post-trauma secrets and decluttering by starting here: https://dowellht.com/freeyourselfThanks so much for joining us today. Want to subscribe to Post-Trauma Secrets and Decluttering? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!iTunes not your thing? Find us on Spotify or StitcherSupport the show

In this episode, JM and Valerie share easy-to-follow tidying rituals to feel more at ease in their homes. From the 5-Minute Rule to themed cleaning days and the one-item declutter strategy, these habits are gentle, effective, and built for any energy level. Learn how a little daily effort can lead to a big boost in comfort, safety, and peace of mind.IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:Easy daily tidying habits to reduce clutter and stressDecluttering tips tailored for seniors with limited mobilityHow small actions like the 5-Minute Rule build lasting changeWays to create a safer, more peaceful home with minimal effortLINKS AND RESOURCES WITH THIS EPISODE:"Put That Stuff Down" and its sequel (book) - A recommended read exploring the complex relationship between trauma, PTSD, and clutter. It offers personal stories, psychological insights, and practical advice. Click here to learn more: https://up.dowellht.com/bestseller-clutter-and-traumaJoin the thousands of people using the post-trauma secrets and decluttering by starting here: https://dowellht.com/freeyourselfThanks so much for joining us today. Want to subscribe to Post-Trauma Secrets and Decluttering? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!iTunes not your thing? Find us on Spotify or StitcherSupport the show