439 | Vicky Easa | Time-Outs and Connection

On this episode: Nate and Aaron bring the podcast back. Aaron wears pants and a hat on Thursday. Nate is still swimming and reads Lonely All the Time. And Aaron goes to jail. Our Guest: Vickey Easa is a therapist and podcaster in Boston Mass via SoCal. She discusses the cultural challenges of how sarcasm is avoiding vulnerability and also blocks intimacy. Understanding how males use insults to show love, especially in the show Friends. Vickey helps couples work through why we keep reacting and not connecting. Seeing each other’s pasts and stories, and how it has shaped their present messages. Vickey shares the downsides of how the brain reacts in self-preservation when there is a desire to connect. She offers simple steps for couples in the form of time-outs to help rebuild after arguments. Links:   Unmess Your Mind Book: Lonely All the Time: Recognizing, Understanding, and Overcoming Sex Addiction, for Addicts and Co-Dependents Events: 2024 Samson Summit Sponsor: Life Works Counseling   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to [email protected].   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society and www.fiftysounds.com. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To help support the vision, please consider a contribution to Samson House.

On this episode: Aaron interviews returning guest Andrea Ashley. Andrea is the host of the Adult Child podcast. She’s the only child from an alcoholic household who became sober at 19 years old. She shares her story of learning and implementing boundaries with her parents and others. Andrea shares how she has learned to see her inner child and stopped trying to correct it. She talks about how her friendships have grown over time as she has gotten healthier. They discuss the isolation of going deeper when others aren’t there. They consider importance of endings and that they aren’t all your fault. Andrea also discusses how suffering and pain cause positive healthy growth. Links:   Adult Child Podcast Instagram: Adult Child Podcast Youtube: Adult Child Podcast TikTok: Adult Child Podcast Events: 2024 Samson Summit If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to [email protected].   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society and www.fiftysounds.com. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To help support the vision, please consider a contribution to Samson House.

On this episode: Rob eats turtles and recommends the MickeyD’s app. Pablito eats fair foods and illustrates safety in vulnerable discussions. Our Guest: Nate talks to Nathaan Demers. Nathaan is a psychologist and has a passion for getting quality mental health to the underserved. He has come up with a unique way to help men that engages through humor. Nathaan talks about the many free resources as well as the ability to connect to a real person for help in under 60 seconds. Links:   Man Therapy Operation Veterans Strong Grit Digital Health Events: 2024 Samson Summit Sponsor: Life Works Counseling   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to [email protected].   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society and www.fiftysounds.com. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To help support the vision, please consider a contribution to Samson House.

Our Guest: Aaron dives right into the interview with Tim Timmons, musical guest for the 2024 Summit, pastor's kid, musician, worship leader, Tennessean by way of California, sporting a magnificent beard. He talks about growing up with the "husky" label, a home life that blew up as a young teenager, and his mother's intentionally taking the arrows to protect his relationship with his dad. Tim had a crisis of faith as a young adult, navigated with the help of incredible men who gave him permission to doubt well. It is the journey of doubt that forms us, not the answer to the question. Tim then was given a cancer diagnosis with five years to live.  That was 23 years ago. Hanging out with prostitutes and a rethinking of church.   Links:   Tim Timmons Events: 2024 Samson Summit Sponsor: Life Works Counseling   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to [email protected].   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society and www.fiftysounds.com. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To help support the vision, please consider a contribution to Samson House.

On this episode: Aaron gets out of bed to podcast and shares his “chesticles up” perspective. Jason shares what he looks forward to at the retreat and favorites from past retreats. Mark has some kind of ailment that Aaron can't pronounce and shares his experiences with Andrew Bauman. Our Guest: Nate talks with Sam Louie. Sam shares about the religion of work and his journey to becoming a counselor. Sam is a first-generation Chinese immigrant to the United States from Hong Kong. He shares his inadequacy about ethnicity, career, body, and masculinity. Sam says the shame he feels can be felt by eight generations. He shares the fantasies and escapes he developed trying to cope with his insecurities. He encourages us to embrace the shame and look for the positive intention behind the addiction. Links:   Passport to Shame: From Asian Immigrant to American Addict Prodigals International Sam Louie Events: 2024 Samson Summit Sponsor: Life Works Counseling   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to [email protected].   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society and www.fiftysounds.com. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To help support the vision, please consider a contribution to Samson House.

On this episode: Join Aaron as he talks to our guest Tim Fletcher. Tim’s journey includes pastorship, being on disability, and becoming a temporary counselor that has turned into a passion and career. Aaron and Tim discuss the history of trauma and therapy in Canada, the past, and even in the Bible. Tim shares that adapting to trauma (addiction), helps us survive childhood but messes up adult life. He also helps us understand and see less obvious addictions and escapes, such as: over-working, over-volunteering, and control. Links:   Tim Fletcher Events: 2024 Samson Summit Sponsor: Life Works Counseling   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to [email protected].   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society and www.fiftysounds.com. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To help support the vision, please consider a contribution to Samson House.

On this episode: Aaron talks to returning guest Chris Bruno. Chris leads story work counseling at Re-story Counseling, and guides groups of men at the Restoration Project. Aaron and Chris discuss the history of “rites of passage,” women raising boys, and consequences of boys going to approximations of manhood. Chris has written a new book called: Man Maker Project. This book helps guide males (and females), even without kids, in fatherhood, brotherhood, and sonship. Join along as they offer hope and love on this part of the journey. Links:   ReStory Counseling Restoration Project Man Maker Project: A Father’s Guide to Initiating His Son Into Manhood Sage: A Man’s Guide Into His Second Passage Brotherhood Primer: A Man’s Guide To Turning Buddies into Brothers Events: 2024 Samson Summit Sponsor: Life Works Counseling   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to [email protected].   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society and www.fiftysounds.com. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To help support the vision, please consider a contribution to Samson House.

On this episode: Aaron, Mark, and Jason start the show at 9:05pm Tennessee time. Mark talks about sharing his story in a co-ed setting. Our Guest: Nate and Aaron talk with Ian and Tamara Dowling. Ian gets excited and talks fast. He shares about how his childhood abuse and introduction to pornography shaped his view of relationships. They discuss the importance of seeking healing for yourself and not to save a relationship. Ian and Tamara share how their marriage has healed and grown as they have experienced healing in therapy and intensives. They also discuss the financial hardships and how it led them to begin Lit Path Ministries to give scholarships and help others on their healing journeys. Links:   Lit Path Ministries Events: 2024 Samson Summit Sponsor: Life Works Counseling   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to [email protected].   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society and www.fiftysounds.com. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To help support the vision, please consider a contribution to Samson House.

Our Guest: This week, Aaron interviews Matt Wade. Matt’s life started as a small boy. He’s now a couples counselor specializing in EFT therapy. Matt discusses his journey of not being supported in becoming a pastor and how he had more of a passion for ministry than a passion for Jesus. He shares how his childhood abuse led to promiscuity to find acceptance and love. Matt encourages us with the healing that occurs in relationships once there is empathy for one another. Intimacy is established where there is no secrecy. Matt leads us to engage our spouse in curiosity, not judgement. Links:   Unstuck Therapy Events: 2024 Samson Summit Sponsor: Life Works Counseling   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to [email protected].   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society and www.fiftysounds.com. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To help support the vision, please consider a contribution to Samson House.

Our Guest: Aaron has a talk with Trent Dollyhigh. Trent is from Mayberry. Yes, that Mayberry. He grew up with whistling, fishing, violence and pornography. Trent was also youth pastor to Andrew Bauman. He shares that Andrew was a student of his and now he is a student of Andrew. Trent discusses how unresolved trauma is usually repeated, and the value of understanding an abuser's history. In his ministry, Trent “helps men die a good death so they can live a good life.” Finally, he addresses why having intelligence is not enough to heal. Links:   Be Vulnerable Mentoring Christian Counseling Center Events: 2024 Samson Summit Sponsor: Life Works Counseling   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to [email protected].   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society and www.fiftysounds.com. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To help support the vision, please consider a contribution to Samson House.