8. Adoptee perspective: What makes a family?

Molly is joined by Emma, a mum of three who adopted her twins after having a birth son via IVF. They have a wide ranging conversation about the application process and how she prepared her son for the growing of their family. Covered in this episode: ✨The IVF journey ✨The joy and hope of starting the adoption process ✨Miscarriage and processing loss ✨The disappointments and complexities in the matching process ✨Preparing existing children for adoptive siblings ✨Advocacy

Molly is joined by Lillybelle and her mum Lizzy. Lillybelle is a young author who has written a book about her experiences being adopted. They chat about how writing helps with processing feelings, how amazing animals are for our mental health and Lillybelle gives some advice to adopted parents. For lillybelle's books: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Lillybelle-Keating/e/B0BNSV8CVD/ref=dp_byline_cont_book_1

Molly is joined by Ian, an adoptee and fellow bereavement counsellor. They discuss how their life journeys have led them to view shared experiences as the key part of what it means to be family . Amongst other things they discuss: -Ian's story as an adoptee -A feeling of isolation and disconnection -The historical attitude of shame around adoption -How life story work has changed from non-existent to essential -The beauty of a family created from a foundation of loss

Molly is joined by Laura, an adoptive mum to twins who are nearly 2 years old. Laura has recently met the birth parents of her children and she gives an honest and very emotional account of the experience. ✨ Letter writing ✨The complexity of feelings ✨Considerations for direct contact ✨What it's like to not have this opportunity ✨Joy and closure

Molly explains the basics of therapeutic parenting and the PACE acronym as people kept asking what it is! With asynchronous contributions from fellow adoptive parents Grace Smith-Miller and Amanda McNanley-Stewart.

Molly is joined by her husband Andreas, they discuss why they think they're feeling ready to adopt another child and their early thoughts on matching. Is gender important? How do we think our existing little one might cope? Are we ready for the complexity of siblings?

Molly is joined by Amelia Wilson, a mum to a 11m old little girl. Amelia is a family barrister and Molly has spent many hours with her therapy clients talking about relationships. Together they discuss how their relationships with their husbands have changed since having children and try to learn some lessons from those they have helped in their jobs. They cover: ✨How being clear, honest and timely with communication is key ✨Dealing with the huge shift in priorities ✨The lack of control and post partum anxiety ✨Feelings of jealousy and resentment ✨Navigating difficult conversations ✨Mind reading and having imaginery arguments ✨Trusting our partners and accepting that they will do things differently

Molly is joined by Amanda McNanley-Stewart, a fellow adoptive mum to a girl and a boy who are siblings. They discuss how difficult it can be to look after our needs as individuals once you suddenly have children to look after. From accepting imperfection to not judging ourselves when all we want to do is eat junk food in the car!

In this episode Molly is joined by Pamela Stallard, a mum via donor who co-parents and is a queer activist and gay woman. They discuss what it's like to be part of a non-traditional family, how to be and raise effective LGBTQ+ allies and the importance of discussing healthy relationships and boundaries with the children in our care.

In this episode Molly is joined by Grace Smith-Miller, an adoptive mum who is part of a blended family. We discuss the blur of the early days of adoption when a child joins your family. We delve into how it feels to not be the person who knows their own child best at first, how hard it can be to navigate the tougher times and still find some space for ourselves and also share some of the incredible moments that make it all worth it.