episode ninety-four: Expensive perfume and cheap shots

I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. Have you ever met a Kestochalian? Actually, you might have. They're sort of lovely, except when you want to thump them on the snoot. Which, to be fair, is true of a lot of living things. Also my computer. Which, if it had a snoot, would have been thoroughly thumped on today. ANYWAY, we made something for you, and if you've ever made a huge Sunday meal, this is kind of like that. We slaved all day, it'll be over in 20 minutes, and then we start over. Do I sound crabby? I feel kind of crabby. You've been listening to: Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia Chrisi Talyn Saje as Julie Kevin Hall as Greg Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and Donna Tim Sherburn as Colin and Emily Lee Shackleford as Pluto David S. Dear as Dr Theo Bromae Eric Perry as Dr. von Haber Zetzer, Howard, and Joe Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield Sarah Rae Werner as Pipistrelle Kyle Jones as Narrator Two And Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator Thanks to Stan Sitzman for the "doffing of gas mask" noise, and Chris Nadolny Gourley for the cocktail umbrella sound! John Faley is our music director, and our awesome artwork is by Lucas Elliott. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry. Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Shannon Perry is our sound designer. Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network! Please check out our sibling shows at fableandfolly.com and support our sponsors. Freesound sounds used in this episode: Cutting Lemon Or Orange by IENBA -- https://freesound.org/s/703058/ -- License: Creative Commons 0 thud pint glass beer down on table wood knock door Vows.flac by kyles -- https://freesound.org/s/454222/ -- License: Creative Commons 0 Charcoal Foley.wav by UlyssesAtSea -- https://freesound.org/s/648136/ -- License: Creative Commons 0 freezing machine turn on.ogg by kyrika84 -- https://freesound.org/s/347428/ -- License: Creative Commons 0 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Olivia frequently just gets bored watching the crew of the Oz 9 tangle themselves up in disasters of their own making, and lately she's been downloading podcasts to listen to. She recently stumbled across The Sprouting, a show about battling plants (wait for it) .... cleverly. And she liked it. Like ... a lot. She doesn't like ANYTHING, so we're all a bit shocked over here. Please take a listen to the supercut of The Sprouting, then find the show wherever you listen to podcasts! Dear listener, Welcome back to The Cradle. Our protagonists meet at a fuel stop... sorry, Gas Station... and come to the realization that travelling onwards as a group is far safer than travelling alone. As they navigate this eldritch plant strewn world, what horrors might they encounter? I guess you're about to find out. BIG thank you to: Karim Kronfli for Roland Tanja Milojevic for OTI Find the authors: Email: [email protected] Website: https://linktr.ee/thesprouting Discord: https://discord.gg/vtgnVAZY44 Support: http://www.Patreon.com/blighthouse This is a Blighthouse Studio production. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, cue the sultry saxophone and the wire-brushed cymbals, we're back for part II of our "noir" wormhole. We had high hopes for this one (as in, high hopes everyone would get shot and this nightmare would finally be at an end), but we're only down a tour guide, and even he just seems to have wandered off. Goldipants Detective Agency is hot on the heels of Red (aka Colin Smith aka Horace MacRory), the millionaire gangster whose morals are as slippery as his accent. Will Pluto and Donna track down the bad guy before we lose any more scientists? Will Mrs S and Donna survive their brush with the Big Bad? Also, what the hell's a nereid? You've been listening to: Lee Shackleford as Pluto Bonnie Brantley as Donna Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield Tim Sherburn as Colin David S Dear as Dr. Theo Bromae Eric Perry as Joe Kevin Hall as Greg With special guest Bob Killion as the Admiral Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator Many thanks to one of our all-time favorite podcasts, Mission: Rejected, for loaning us the character of the Admiral. If you haven't already, be sure to add Mission: Rejected to your list on your podcatcher of choice. Oz 9's theme music is composed and performed by John Faley; Lucas Elliott creates our artwork. Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor. Shannon Perry is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry. Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network. Be sure to check out all the great shows at fableandfolly.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's a quiet night on the mean streets of ... uhhhhh ... doesn't matter. And it's not that quiet, either. Lemme start this again. It's a Tuesday night, and the Oz 9 has slipped into yet another wormhole. But it's OK. This one comes with hats. You've been listening to: Lee Shackleford as Pluto Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield Bonnie Brantley as Donna David S. Dear as Dr. Theo Bromae Tim Sherburn as Colin Eric Perry as Joe Shannon Perry as Madeline Kevin Hall as Greg Kyle Jones as your Narrator 2, and Chris Nadolny Gourley as your Narrator. Our music is composed and performed by John Faley; Lucas Elliott creates our artwork. Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor. Shannon Perry is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry. Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network. Be sure to check out all the great shows at fableandfolly.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's part 2 of this, and then I swear, we're finished and you can go back to just suspecting how pretentious we are rather than having the receipts. We know Feb 14 can be a bit rough for some, so we wanted to give you the subtle sounds of barfing fairies to help you get through the day. Just know, we love your goofy, kooky self ALL days of the year. You've been listening to: David S Dear as Dr. Theo Bromae Kevin Hall as Greg Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield Eric Perry as Dr. von Haber Zetzer Shannon Perry as Olivia Chrisi Talyn Saje as Julie Tim Sherburn as Colin Sarah Rhea Warner as Pipistrelle Bonnie Brantley as Duckweed, Wooly Sedge, Horsetail, and Cattail. Kyle Jones is your Narrator 2, And Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator. Our music was composed and performed by John Faley, and our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. The glorious madrigal music you hear at the beginning was created by John Faley and performed by John Faley, Tanya Faley, and Emily Faley. Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Shannon Perry is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry. Who will deny it if asked. The trailer is for a show we love and that is written, produced, and stars our own Julie: Chrisi Talyn Saje. You'll find Madison On The Air wherever you listen to podcasts. Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network. Be sure to check out our awesome podcast siblings at fableandfolly.com. We'll see you next time, Space Monkeys. Keep your eyes on the stars, and if you see Cupid, seriously, tell him to adjust his sash. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As Narrator 2 says in this episode, "English majors must perforce English maj," so here's the episode you've all been dreading: the Fakespeare. Come on, stop whining, you knew it was coming. If you're not familiar with A Midsummer Night's Dream, well, there are lots of really excellent versions out there. We prefer you NOT listen to those, however, as that's going to make this seem even more torturous than being read Vogon poetry before being shot out into space. That said, it was fun to write and fun to do, so ... get over it. Also, the second half should show up on Feb. 14, a day some folks seem to think is special. Thou hast been listening to... David S Dear as Dr. Theo Bromae Kevin Hall as Greg Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield Eric Perry as Dr. von Haber Zetzer Shannon Perry as Olivia Chrisi Talyn Saje as Julie Tim Sherburn as Colin Sarah Rhea Warner as Pipistrelle Bonnie Brantley as Duckweed, Wooly Sedge, Horsetail, and Cattail. Kyle Jones is your Narrator 2, And Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator. Our music was writ by John Faley, and our artwork from the fevered brow of Lucas Elliott. Sarah Golding our dialogue did edit, and Shannon Perry our sound design'ed. Lamentably, our story of Oz 9, much like the alien of old, did explode from the head of Shannon Perry and wreaketh much havoc upon a space ship. Check out more nonsense at https://oz-9.com. Know you now that Oz 9 doth hang about with many a rascally and ill-reputed tale amidst the Fable and Folly Network; go thee hence to fableandfolly.com and there beguile your idle hours with true delights. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode... it fought back, I tell you what. But we finally wrangled it into some sort of shape. I'mma go with "parallelogram," because it looks like it's about to fall over, but it's a shape, anyway. We meant to get this out when we were still in the throes of the holiday season, but hey, it's Winnie the Pooh Day, and I reckon that's worth celebrating. It's also National Michigan day, soooooo, go, Michigan, I guess. You've been listening to: Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia Lee Shackleford as Pluto for the last time, Aaron Clark as le Bichon Frise and Ben Eric Perry as Howard, Joe, and Dr von Haber Zetzer Tim Sherburn as Colin and Emily Chrisi Talyn Saje as Julie Kevin Hall as Greg David S Dear as Dr Theo Bromae Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and Donna Sarah Rhea Werner as Pipistrelle Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield Kyle Jones is your Narrator 2, and Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator Our music is by John Faley, and our artwork is by Lucas Elliott (keep an eye out for Spy Grandma, coming from Simon & Schuster in Spring 2026!). Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor. Sound designer of this colossal mess is Shanon Perry. Oz 9 is written - apparently in her sleep - by that same Shannon Perry, which explains a lot. Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network! Please check out our sibling shows at fableandfolly.com and support our sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's episode 90! And that's the best thing we can say about it. There's a lot of sampling of condiments. Word of warning: don't get between (former) Cpt. Jessie and the cheese sauce, or lives may be lost. Also, we found a crate of "blight piston bottles." Anyone know what those are good for? You've been listening to: Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield Bonnie Brantley as former Captain Jessie and Lady Nibble Biscuit David S. Dear as Dr. Theo Bromae Chrisi Talyn Saje as Julie Eric Perry as Dr von Haber Zetzer and Joe Shannon Perry as Captain Madeline and Olivia Kevin Hall as Greg Tim Sherburn as Colin Sarah Rhea Werner as Pipi Kyle Jones is your Narrator 2, and Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator Our theme and other music is composed and performed by John Faley. Our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Chrisi Talyn Saje is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry. Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable & Folly network! Please support our partners at fableandfolly.com/partners, and check out the other great Fable & Folly shows at fableandfolly.com. Happy new year, ya crazy Space Monkeys. Keep your eyes on the skies and buy yourself something pretty at one of our merch shops: https://oz-9.com/supportus/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's nearly Christmas as I type this, and I'm bah humbugging like your least favorite neighbor, but throwing out an episode of Oz 9 always makes me happy. I like making the world just a little bit goofier and more confusing. We have some additions to our ship today, and they are stupid cute in the manner of those "got my kid a puppy" videos that are all over the socials, only these might make you cry for entirely different reasons. But we'll see, I guess; they don't have many teeth yet. Anything else I should mention? Oh yeah: happy hols, Space Monkeys. You're the biggest bunch of goofballs this galaxy has ever seen (and I'm talking about the galaxy with DNA's Hooloovoos in it, so you know it's seen some things), but we love you. You've been listening to... Bonnie Brantley as Jessie Tim Sherburn as Colin Chrisi Talyn Saje as Julie Eric Perry as Joe Kevin Hall as Greg Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield Shannon Perry as Olivia. Kyle Jones is your Narrator Two, and Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator Our theme and other music is composed and performed by John Faley. "Into the Swamp" was composed and performed by Thomas Golding. Our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Chrisi Talyn Saje is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry. Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable & Folly network! Please support our partners at fableandfolly.com/partners, and check out the other great Fable & Folly shows at fableandfolly.com. Until next time, Space Monkeys, watch the stars and try to understand the mustard. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's Thanksgiving, Oz 9 style, which means the only thing anyone has to be grateful for is surviving it. If you've ever wondered about the origin of stuffing, well, we have a theory for you. Also, were you aware you speak fluent Klep? It's true. And you didn't even have to practice. Take THAT, Duolingo. You've been listening to: Bonnie Brantley as Jessie, Donna, and Daisy Eric Perry as Joe and Jay Shannon Perry as Madeline Kevin Hall as Greg Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield Kyle Jones is your Narrator 2 And Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator. Our music is composed and performed by John Faley; Lucas Elliott creates our artwork. Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor. Normally, the super-talented Chrisi Talyn Saje does the sound design, but this time you're stuck with Shannon Perry, who also penned this mess. Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network. Be sure to check out all the great shows at fableandfolly.com. See you next time, space monkeys. Happiest of holiday seasons, if and however you celebrate. From yer ever-lovin', Crew Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices