89. Empty People Make Terrible Partners (and Where the Hope Is) with Debra Fileta

Have you ever looked across the room at your husband and wondered when you two started feeling more like roommates than partners? If your marriage feels cold or distant right now, I want you to hear this: it’s a season, and seasons are meant to be passed through. This week I’m talking with licensed counselor Debra Fileta, who has spent over 20 years sitting with couples. Her newest book, Relationship Skills, walks through the four seasons every relationship moves through, and we spend most of our time in winter, the cold, distant one. We talk about why empty people make terrible partners (and what to do when you’re the empty one), the difference between selflessness, selfishness, and self-neglect, and how couples slowly drift apart without noticing. Debra also opens up about a hard winter in her own marriage and the simple weekly habit she and her husband still keep 15 years later. If you’re in a cold season, I hope you leave this conversation with some hope and one practical place to start. Resources Mentioned Relationship Skills by Debra Fileta: https://link.amazon/B075fNpD7Soul Care by Debra Fileta: https://debrafileta.com/soulcare/Marriage Check-In Guide: https://debrafileta.com/product/marriage-check-in-guide/Free Relationship Skills Quiz: https://debrafileta.com/relationship-skills-quiz/ Connect with Debra Website: https://debrafileta.com Instagram: @debrafiletaTalk To Me podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/talk-to-me-the-debra-fileta-podcast/id1417804351Debra Fileta Counselors Network: https://debrafileta.com/counseling/ Connect with Me Instagram: @hannaeseymour Website: https://hannaseymour.com The Weekly One (my Monday email): https://hannaseymour.com/the-weekly-one Everyday Spiritual Habits: https://everydayspiritualhabits.com/