Deborah Mallow and the Gratitude Jar

Episode overview In this episode, Deborah Mallow, a motivational speaker and “ray of sunshine,” shares practical ways to choose happiness, interrupt negative thinking, and bring more light into everyday life. A central theme is the power of simple tools—like a gratitude jar—to retrain the brain to notice what is going right instead of what is wrong.​ About Deborah Mallow Deborah is a positive energy and success coach who helps people shift out of self-sabotage and chronic negativity.​ She is the author of “6 Steps to Fewer Days That Suck,” where she offers stories, strategies, and science-backed tips for cultivating a more uplifting mindset.​ Key topics discussed Negativity bias and the brain: How the brain’s ancient focus on problems and danger creates more “bad days” than necessary, and what it takes to interrupt that pattern.​ Being personally considerate: Treating yourself with the same kindness you offer others and replacing harsh self-talk with more supportive thoughts.​ Small daily practices: Simple habits—like dancing to a favorite song or using a “make me smile” box—that help your nervous system shift toward calm, joy, and resilience.​ The gratitude jar practice Deborah explains the gratitude jar: writing one good thing each day on a slip of paper and dropping it into a jar to create a visible record of what’s going well.​ On tough days, pulling out a few slips offers concrete reminders that life holds many moments of joy, connection, and progress, even when current circumstances feel heavy.​ Practical takeaways Start with one small shift: notice when your mind spirals into worst-case scenarios and gently ask, “What would I rather be thinking right now?”​ Create your own happiness tools: a gratitude jar, a smile box, or a short list of “go-to” feel-good activities to use when your mood dips.​ Remember that you have more control over your daily happiness than you think; your choices and focus can steadily lead to fewer days that “suck.”​

Key Takeaways Self-compassion and perspective-taking are crucial for managing mental health challenges Breathing techniques (especially extended exhales) can help regulate anxiety and stress Small, gradual steps and support systems are key for overcoming avoidance behaviors Acknowledging issues, seeking help, and celebrating small victories are important for progress Topics Podcast Introduction and Guest Welcome Nancy Becher introduces "Silent Strength" podcast, focused on women veterans with PTS/military trauma Podcast aims to share stories, provide expert insights, and create a supportive community Renee Zukin welcomed as guest to share her personal journey and insights Renee's Background and Book Renee wrote "Every Day I'm Brave" about transforming her relationship with fear Book includes journal prompts to help readers process their experiences Renee has multiple diagnoses (anxiety, depression, OCD, panic disorder, agoraphobia) but doesn't let them define her Challenges of Self-Compassion and Perspective Nancy shares personal struggle with depression and self-judgment Renee emphasizes importance of self-compassion and avoiding shame spirals Discussion on reframing negative self-talk and gaining broader perspective on situations Coping Strategies and Techniques Breathing technique: Focus on extended exhales to slow heart rate (inhale for 4, exhale for 5-7 counts) Writing/journaling to gain outside perspective on thoughts and feelings Gradual exposure therapy for facing fears (e.g., small steps for leaving the house) Distraction techniques (e.g., playing phone games during stressful car rides) Importance of Acknowledgment and Support Difficulty in getting women to acknowledge invisible illnesses and seek help Veterans more open to seeking support through Invisible Warriors organization Value of creating safe spaces for women to connect and share experiences Three Key Pieces of Advice Practice self-kindness and allow feelings without judgment Seek support (therapist, friends, podcasts, books) from understanding sources Remember your inherent bravery and resilience Added by Nancy: Celebrate even small steps of progress Next Steps Listeners encouraged to leave reviews/ratings for the podcast on iTunes Follow Invisible Warriors on LinkedIn and YouTube for updates Upcoming wilderness retreat in late September focusing on mental health topics Interested participants should contact Nancy for sign-up information

If you are dealing with trauma and want a way to lessen or rid yourself of the challenges, head over to ebt.org and see what it can do for you.

Trauma is difficult to acknowledge, difficult to handle and hard to eliminate from your life. Amanda Lee, an author and survivor of her own trauma, talks about how she has dealt with it and what she does to make it go away!

Tia shares her experiences as a young woman in the military, highlighting the prevalence of sexual harassment and assault. She recounts her own traumatic experience of being sexually assaulted by a superior and the reprimand she received for reporting it. Tia expresses concern for the wellbeing of female soldiers, noting that many face similar experiences. She also discusses her struggle with PTS and its impact on her life, which eventually leads her to seek help from the VA. Tia emphasizes the need for better support and resources for veterans dealing with trauma and PTS. Tia discusses her journey with mental health services, including being misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder and experiencing suicidal thoughts. She expresses frustration with the lack of support from previous healthcare providers. However, after a session with 22Zero, a mental health organization, she experiences a significant improvement. Tia feels exhausted after the session, leading to better sleep and fewer nightmares. Her self-esteem and overall well-being improve, and she becomes an advocate for 22Zero, believing it saved her life.

Lisa discussed the unique challenges faced by women in the military who have experienced trauma. She highlighted the additional layer of trauma due to the betrayal of trust within the military community, as well as the lack of agency and safety. Lisa also pointed out the societal ignorance and disrespect faced by these women outside of the military. Nancy added to this, emphasizing the compounded trauma experienced by women veterans due to both military and societal factors. The conversation concluded with the importance of naming and understanding the various aspects of trauma to better address and support these women. Lisa can be reached at:  [email protected]

Silent Strength, women vets and Invisible Warriors VIEW RECORDING - 22 mins (No highlights) Introduction to Invisible Warriors @ 0:09 Nancy Becher introduces Invisible Warriors, a nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting women veterans dealing with PTSD, military trauma, and invisible illnesses. The organization aims to provide specialized resources and build a supportive community for these often overlooked heroes. Challenges Faced by Women Veterans @ 3:11 Women make up 17% of the U.S. military's active duty force, but face distinct challenges upon returning to civilian life. They struggle with reintegration, have higher rates of homelessness compared to male veterans, and often feel invisible or overlooked in predominantly male-oriented veteran spaces. Focus Areas: PTSD, Military Trauma, Invisible Illnesses @ 4:07 Invisible Warriors focuses on three key issues affecting women veterans: PTSD, military trauma, and invisible illnesses. These conditions can have devastating long-term impacts, but are often misunderstood or go unrecognized. Holistic Support Programs @ 10:23 Invisible Warriors takes a comprehensive approach to supporting women veterans, offering individual and group therapy, workshops on coping skills and reintegration, career counseling, and a range of holistic services including nutrition, fitness, and creative therapies. The organization also fosters a strong peer support network. Invisible Warriors Club: A Safe, Secure Online Community @ 11:43 Invisible Warriors has created the Invisible Warriors Club, a private, encrypted online platform where women can connect with others facing similar challenges without fear of their posts being taken down or their privacy violated. Upcoming Retreat and Funding Needs @ 17:45 Invisible Warriors is planning a 5-day outdoor retreat for women veterans, providing counseling, activities, and a supportive environment at no cost to participants. The organization is seeking sponsors and donors to fund this and other programs. Broader Impact and Call to Action @ 18:56 Invisible Warriors' work has the potential to transform lives and influence how veteran care is approached on a broader scale. The organization is advocating for systemic changes to better support women veterans, and invites volunteers and donors to join their important mission.

Managing chronic pain is overwhelming for those living with and providing treatment for chronic pain. The demand of patients’ complex needs cause provider burnout, while chronic pain sufferers describe their experience as an “invisible disability”. I crushed three vertebrae after a fall from a balcony leading to excruciating pain in my neck, back, and entire body. I know first-hand how chronic pain leads to significant depression and other adverse consequences. For 10 years I was significantly dependent on opioids and sedatives. Then I learned to manage my pain more effectively. My recovery began at the Mayo Pain Rehabilitation Clinic. I learned about pain science: by changing our behavior around pain it reinforces that we are not in danger of pain causing us further harm, and it builds confidence in breaking the cycle of pain. Moving Through Chronic Pain uses proven skill-building practices to encourage self-efficacy managing life with chronic pain. We facilitate deeper connections between those living with chronic pain and their community of providers, employers, and family members. We offer a safe environment of learning and sharing to enhance people and providers lives. We will be talking about all things chronic pain. Lots of great information.