Attachment, Bonding and EMDR after NICU trauma with Clinical Psychologist Dr. Mara Tesler Stein | S3E55

Dr. Mara Tesler Stein is a fellow Clinical Psychologist with experience of being in NICU and a wealth of knowledge gained through research – so we knew that a conversation with her would be incredibly valuable. Not only does she have the personal experience of having twins at 30 weeks and spending 10 weeks in NICU, but she also offers EMDR training for perinatal specialists through her work as founder of The Touchstone Institute for Psychotherapy and Training. This episode is a must listen for any NICU parent who wants to understand how the experience has changed them, or who is worried about the impact of NICU on your attachment with your child. In this episode, we’re chatting about:- Mara’s story of having premature twins and how that led to her building on her experience as a Clinical Psychologist by training in EMDR- Common trauma and identity themes that come up for NICU parents- Why things that are labelled as problems bonding with your child probably aren’t, and what could actually be happening instead- How you can heal from trauma and overcome guilt and grief of lost experiences as a NICU parentFor any parent who’s been through NICU or is there now, this episode is sure to help you see a way forward, and know that you’re not alone.💌 Check out the full show notes for this episode here, where you can find timestamps, a transcript and any links or resources we think are relevant to this episode. If this episode resonates with you or if you have questions, reach out to us on Instagram or shoot us an email at [email protected].🎧 We love engaging with our listeners! Share a screenshot of this episode and don't forget to tag us on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ when you're tuning in.⭐️ Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode.🙏 A huge thank you to Emma at Cover My Bubble for supporting our podcast - you can find out more about all that Cover My Bubble offer at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.covermybubble.co.uk

Ashley and Aisha from Dear NICU Mama join us in today’s episode, and share all about the impact of NICU on mental health, finding meaning again after trauma, and the “letters of hope” that Dear NICU Mama asks NICU mums to write.Each month, the non-profit provides a different prompt for NICU mums to write to others about their experience, and share a hopeful message with them. Of course, these messages make sure to help other NICU mums feel less alone and so many people say how therapeutic they found writing these letters.In this episode, we’re chatting about:- What brought Ashley and Aisha together and their roles in Dear NICU Mama- The impact of being in NICU during the COVID lockdowns- The Dear NICU Mama letters, why writing can be therapeutic and common struggles that come up- What it looks like to go back to “real life” after staying in NICU or the loss of a child and how you can find meaning againWhether it’s from recounting your time in NICU, or from providing empathy to another person, the letter prompts from Dear NICU Mama can be a really helpful way to begin to process the trauma that you went through.💌 Check out the full show notes for this episode here, where you can find timestamps, a transcript and any links or resources we think are relevant to this episode. If this episode resonates with you or if you have questions, reach out to us on Instagram or shoot us an email at [email protected].🎧 We love engaging with our listeners! Share a screenshot of this episode and don't forget to tag us on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ when you're tuning in.⭐️ Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode.🙏 A huge thank you to Emma at Cover My Bubble for supporting our podcast - you can find out more about all that Cover My Bubble offer at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.covermybubble.co.uk

Last year, we were joined by Catriona Ogilvy, founder of The Smallest Things charity, who talked all about why her NICU experiences and background as a children’s Occupational Therapist led to her creating the charity. Since that conversation, lots of campaigns the charity has been involved with have come to fruition – so it was time to sit down with Catriona again and catch up on what’s been going on. From the Neonatal Care (Leave and Pay) Act, to their Employer with Heart Charter, schools becoming prem aware, there’s lots to talk about!In this episode, we’re chatting about:- How The Smallest Things charity came about after Catriona’s NICU experiences- Why over 300,000 people signed the charity’s petition to extend parental leave (and the changes that were made because of it and how they benefit parents in NICU now!)- How the charity are encouraging employers to support NICU parents more effectively- The charity’s campaigns to improve mental health in NICU parents including health visitor and GP support- What the charity are doing to bring about changes for NICU children in schools and what you need to know if your NICU child is starting school💌 Check out the full show notes for this episode here, where you can find timestamps, a transcript and any links or resources we think are relevant to this episode. If this episode resonates with you or if you have questions, reach out to us on Instagram or shoot us an email at [email protected].🎧 We love engaging with our listeners! Share a screenshot of this episode and don't forget to tag us on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ when you're tuning in.⭐️ Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode.🙏 A huge thank you to Emma at Cover My Bubble for supporting our podcast - you can find out more about all that Cover My Bubble offer at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.covermybubble.co.uk

Rachael and her husband, Andy, were thrown into the world of neonatal care 17 years ago when Rachael unexpectedly went into labour and their son, Charlie, was born at 28 weeks. This experience impacted the whole family immensely, and their determination to give back led to them starting Ickle Pickles children’s charity – a charity that raises funds for life-saving equipment that neonatal units desperately need.In this episode, we’re chatting about:- The fear that surrounds premature birth- How her NICU experience led to her and her husband, Andy, starting a charity to give back- The work that The Ickle Pickles do- Why giving back can help with healing from your experience- How finding meaning can help with post traumatic growth - Her son Charlie’s life today and how he has been impacted by NICUIf you’ve been thinking that you’d like to give back after your NICU stay, in whatever form that looks like, today’s episode will certainly inspire you to do just that.💌 Check out the full show notes for this episode here, where you can find timestamps, a transcript and any links or resources we think are relevant to this episode. If this episode resonates with you or if you have questions, reach out to us on Instagram or shoot us an email at [email protected].🎧 We love engaging with our listeners! Share a screenshot of this episode and don't forget to tag us on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ when you're tuning in.⭐️ Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode.🙏 A huge thank you to Emma at Cover My Bubble for supporting our podcast - you can find out more about all that Cover My Bubble offer at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.covermybubble.co.uk

When you feel that you’re functioning highly despite experiencing anxiety, depression and PTSD, it can often be hard to reach out for help and support or even to realise that anything’s wrong.After Bethan and her family experienced trauma on top of trauma, including losing her little girl aged only four-years-old, she reached a point where she realised she couldn’t carry on with the way she was feeling – both mentally and physically. At this point, she reached out to me for EMDR therapy where we worked together to help her through these feelings.In this episode, we’re chatting about:- Birth trauma and how it can be the root of other difficulties- High-functioning anxiety, depression & PTSD- The trigger that caused Bethan to reach out for therapy and EMDR- Mental and physical manifestations of trauma- Bethan’s work with Advocates and Angels and why she created the charity to help other parents💌 Check out the full show notes for this episode here, where you can find timestamps, a transcript and any links or resources we think are relevant to this episode. If this episode resonates with you or if you have questions, reach out to us on Instagram or shoot us an email at [email protected].🎧 We love engaging with our listeners! Share a screenshot of this episode and don't forget to tag us on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ when you're tuning in.⭐️ Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode.🙏 A huge thank you to Emma at Cover My Bubble for supporting our podcast - you can find out more about all that Cover My Bubble offer at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.covermybubble.co.uk

Therapy around the NICU experience is obviously something that can be really powerful to help you process and manage the trauma… but what if there was something you could do in tiny moments, by yourself while in the hospital, at home, out on a walk or even at your desk?Today’s guest, Victoria Craig, is a PhD student helping to research techniques that can help NICU parents process their trauma – namely the Butterfly Hug and Tetris.In this episode, we’re chatting about:- Why the trauma often hits NICU parents months or even years down the line- Bilateral stimulation and how it can help trauma- All the information you need to start using both the Butterfly Hug and Tetris techniques- Why feeling validated and surrounded by a community can help you after your neonatal stay💌 Check out the full show notes for this episode here, where you can find timestamps, a transcript and any links or resources we think are relevant to this episode. If this episode resonates with you or if you have questions, reach out to us on Instagram or shoot us an email at [email protected].🎧 We love engaging with our listeners! Share a screenshot of this episode and don't forget to tag us on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ when you're tuning in.⭐️ Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode.🙏 A huge thank you to Emma at Cover My Bubble for supporting our podcast - you can find out more about all that Cover My Bubble offer at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.covermybubble.co.uk

This episode is for the dads. The “rocks”. The ones who feel they have to hold it together and support everyone else – to the point that they maybe don’t even realise they’re struggling.Luke and Tom from Dad Matters join us  to share all about their own NICU experiences, how being “the rock” can be a harmful expectation for a dad, and how Dad Matters have created a service solely designed to support dads through the perinatal period.In this episode, we’re chatting about:- What dads really go through in NICU- Why “I’m fine” probably isn’t true, even if dad don’t realise it yet- The burden that comes with being “the rock”- The Dad Matters services that can help dads through the NICU experience💌 Check out the full show notes for this episode here, where you can find timestamps, a transcript and any links or resources we think are relevant to this episode. If this episode resonates with you or if you have questions, reach out to us on Instagram or shoot us an email at [email protected].🎧 We love engaging with our listeners! Share a screenshot of this episode and don't forget to tag us on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ when you're tuning in.⭐️ Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode.🙏 A huge thank you to Emma at Cover My Bubble for supporting our podcast - you can find out more about all that Cover My Bubble offer at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.covermybubble.co.uk

Leila Green experienced mum guilt hard – after her triplets were born at 33 weeks, and split between NICU and home, she constantly felt like she was letting at least one of them down at any given moment.She soon realised mum guilt doesn’t help anyone – and it certainly isn’t the indicator that you care about your children. Now a writer, speaker and the founder of F*** Mum Guilt, Leila shares her story with us, how she broke out of the self-doubt spiral and the four steps you can follow to move on from mum guilt, too.In this episode, we’re chatting about:- Her story of having triplets naturally following two miscarriages- When the mum guilt started and why it caused a self-doubt spiral- How she handled being split between having two babies at home and one in NICU- The “F*** Mum Guilt” movement and why Leila now offers the support she didn’t receive- Four powerful steps to letting go of mum guiltJoin us for a conversation every NICU parent needs to hear!💌 Check out the full show notes for this episode here, where you can find timestamps, a transcript and any links or resources we think are relevant to this episode. If this episode resonates with you or if you have questions, reach out to us on Instagram or shoot us an email at [email protected].🎧 We love engaging with our listeners! Share a screenshot of this episode and don't forget to tag us on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ when you're tuning in.⭐️ Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode.🙏 A huge thank you to Emma at Cover My Bubble for supporting our podcast - you can find out more about all that Cover My Bubble offer at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.covermybubble.co.uk

It’s like the worst food poisoning of your life… Every. Single. Day. Hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) is not just morning sickness, and unfortunately, it’s often misunderstood – even by medical professionals.Clinical Psychologist and founder of The Pregnancy Psychologist, Dr. Rosie Gilderthorp joins the NICU Space podcast to share her personal experience of HG, what it’s really like to live through it and most importantly, how you can get support if you’re going through it too.We’re discussing:- High levels of sickness in pregnancy- Losing your ability to work, your identity and your joy- The mental toll of being dismissed by doctors- Guilt, trauma and grieving the pregnancy you expected- The link between HG and NICU – and why it desperately needs talking aboutIf you’re experiencing HG or have been through it before, we want you to know you’re not alone, and support is out there for you. Tune into today’s episode to learn where to find it.💌 Check out the full show notes for this episode here, where you can find timestamps, a transcript and any links or resources we think are relevant to this episode. If this episode resonates with you or if you have questions, reach out to us on Instagram or shoot us an email at [email protected].🎧 We love engaging with our listeners! Share a screenshot of this episode and don't forget to tag us on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ when you're tuning in.⭐️ Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode.🙏 A huge thank you to Emma at Cover My Bubble for supporting our podcast - you can find out more about all that Cover My Bubble offer at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.covermybubble.co.uk

“Is it just me?”If you’ve ever asked yourself that after NICU – you’re not alone. Struggling with your mental health after time in neonatal care is sadly incredibly common for so many of us. There’s lots of different ways you can find your mental health suffering, and in today’s episode, Dr. Frankie is diving into many different conditions, where you can find the support you need and also her own story of anxiety after neonatal care.In this episode, Frankie shares:- Feeling frozen and disconnected after her baby’s early arrival- The sneaky ways postnatal anxiety showed up- Why emotions after NICU can feel so messy – and why that’s normal- How to know when it’s time to reach out for support- What healing actually looks like (hint: it’s not about “getting over it”)If you’re carrying heavy feelings after NICU, this episode is for you. You’re not broken, you’re not a bad parent, and you don’t have to do this alone.💌 Check out the full show notes for this episode here, where you can find timestamps, a transcript and any links or resources we think are relevant to this episode. If this episode resonates with you or if you have questions, reach out to us on Instagram or shoot us an email at [email protected].🎧 We love engaging with our listeners! Share a screenshot of this episode and don't forget to tag us on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ when you're tuning in.⭐️ Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode.🙏 A huge thank you to Emma at Cover My Bubble for supporting our podcast - you can find out more about all that Cover My Bubble offer at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.covermybubble.co.uk