Ep. 23: Be My Gapentine

This week, Geep's and Reece's Land Cruiser is racing full throttle and ass naked through this bushy jungle safari of an episode. They spot giraffes, monkey(pox), and many other beautiful creators—of the Kama Sutra, of the night— in this absolutely feral—and potentially thematically insensitive—adventure.

It's getting HOT and Geep and Reec are starting to perspire—in the loins. From clubbing to fucking, from where to when, our hosts tackle everything in the sick and salty world of sweat. Grab your towels and deodorant because sweaty or not, here they come!

Geep and Reece are back and better than ever in this first episode of Mind the Gape's sophomore season! Amidst prostrating over their European dalliances and other excuses for Gape en absentia, the two dig their heels and honkers into manscaping and transcaping, hatfishing, bald rights, and all the hairy (or not-so-hairy) scuz between them. They know you've missed them and they've missed you, so tune in for the aural orgasm for which your three-month-long blue balls have been so eagerly edged.

There was a great opener for this little description but it seems I've... forgotten. Digging deep into the cramped quarters of their minds, Geep and Reece unearth forgotten tales and tails in this episode. Moving from the forgotten to forgetting, our hosts touch on namelessness, unshaven back hair, and moving on from an ex. Fried by weed and trauma, Geep and Reece are prone to forgetting; this episode, however, will be one to remember!

Pussies are red, balls are blue, if you're reading this, then Geep and Reece love you! Our hosts couldn't miss the opportunity to celebrate the holiday most germane to their content generation and have celebrated by talking all things sexy and intimate that fall under the arc of Cupid's bow. From middle school carnations to worst possible Valentine's gifts, Geep and Reece rehash trauma and trials alike in the hopes that they can help you ensure a Valentine's Day riddled with nothing but romance.

Splayed over the imagined chaise lounge of their phantasmagoric mid-century modern sex dens, Geep and Reece wax poetic about the most Arch Digest worthy sex they've had to date. From dapper to derelict, our hosts' design-inspired sex stories run the gamut of breeding on furniture and breedable furniture (in hindsight, they should have touched on the axiomatic childhood curiosity that is fucking your couch cushions). Find the sexiest seat around and keep your pants zipped—they don't want you cumming on the velour!

Ahoy, gapekeepers! Baked and bronzed after an unforeseen trip to Miami, Geep and Reece plunge deep into the mystic oceans of watersports and other splashy sexcapades to find out who has plundered the biggest booty. Water dries you out, lesbians are topical, and other paradoxes prevail in Mind the Gape's saltiest episode to date.

Though tardy to the party, Geep and Reece are nonetheless back with their predictions for what's in and what's out for 2022. Unlock your personal tech; toss your leather; yank it; keep your asshole one dilation from passé; and yank it. If you're not sure what any of this means, don't worry—we aren't, either. Listen away and see if you can help us figure it out (or... in)!

In 2021’s final episode of Mind the Gape, hosts Geep and Reece hold Best in Show, announcing their respective best-of’s across the Noah’s Arc of Cock. Winners for each breed lead up to our hosts’ big reveal has to who laid the best pipe in 2021 with Tracey recaps and psychotic side-stories interwoven along the way. 

It's the most wonderful time to be queer—Geep's and Reece's Mind the Gape holiday special! It's giving season, that double entente broke their brains, and our hosts are shelling out advice about the best of dating and intimacy in Winter Wonderland. If you're in need of ideas—be they for how to fuck or how to give—this holiday season, look no further than our host's gift guide; should you wish to return their favor, Geep and Reece have had the audacity to actually write their own Holiday Hoe-down Wishlist.