The Five Givens of Life: The Realisation That Brings Deep Inner Peace

The Choice MindsetFor years, I lived inside the “I have to” mindset.I have to work harder.I have to stay on top of everything.I have to get it all done.And like most people, I didn’t question it. I just carried the quiet weight of pressure, resentment, and inner tension that came with it.But then something shifted.In this episode, I share a simple but life-changing mindset shift. One that dissolves stress, restores a sense of agency, and reconnects you with what truly matters.Such a small change in language…but it has the power to transform your mood, your clarity, your relationships, and your entire internal world.If you’re longing for more wisdom, more intention, and more alignment in your daily life, this episode is for you.Resources & LinksDeep Resilience Book: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/

The Five Givens of Life: The Realisation That Brings Deep Inner PeaceFor years, I believed peace meant getting everything just right. calm mornings, a steady mind, and a life that finally stayed still.But life had other plans.In this episode, I share a story from my early meditation training. A lesson that began with a thundering roof full of possums and ended with one of the most liberating realisations of my life.We’ll also explore a profound insight from psychologist David Richo on the five givens of life, and how embracing them can transform the way we meet change, pain, and imperfection.If you’ve ever longed for peace that lasts, even when the roof is shaking, this episode is for you. Resources & LinksJoin Becoming Love: https://melliobrien.com/becoming-love/ The Five Givens Book: https://www.amazon.com.au/Five-Things-We-Cannot-Change/dp/1590303083 My Book Deep Resilience: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/

Why I’m Still Healing...And What I Wish Someone Told Me SoonerFor a long time, I believed that healing meant fixing myself.If I could just do enough inner work, clear enough trauma, become calm, kind, and wise all the time, then I’d finally be whole, awake, complete.But over time, I came to see that all that effort to “heal” was actually coming from a subtle self‑rejection.In this episode of Deep Resilience, I share my personal journey of letting go of spiritual perfectionism (still working on it, still practicing it), and finally embracing the path of true spiritual and psychological healing. How it changed my whole paradigm of what spirituality is, and how I now practice it in daily life.I also share a simple practice you can use to bring this more effective, compassionate approach to healing into your own life - even with your most difficult patterns, thoughts and parts of yourself.Resources & LinksJoin Becoming Love: https://melliobrien.com/becoming-love/Free meditations: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/My book Deep Resilience: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/

A Simple Way To Reduce Conflict: A Relational Spiritual PracticeConflicts with others can be one of the greatest sources of stress and suffering in our lives.But what if there was a simple mindset shift that could help you reduce conflict within yourself, and shift to more helpful ways of relating with others?In this episode of Deep Resilience, I explore a powerful practice that can diffuse inner tension, reduce emotional reactivity, and turn moments of friction into opportunities for connection and growth.In this episode, we explore:The hidden stories that fuel conflictWhy anger often masks deeper emotions like hurt or fearHow assumptions can escalate tension, and what to do insteadHow one simple shift can become a powerful relational and spiritual practice for yourself, no matter what happens outsideThis episode is for you if...You’ve been feeling reactive or easily triggered in your relationshipsYou want to create more harmony and less stress in your lifeYou’re committed to growing spiritually through everyday interactionsResources & LinksJoin Becoming Love (starts Nov 20): https://melliobrien.com/becoming-love/ Free meditations: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/My book Deep Resilience: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/

Being Love vs. Seeking LoveWe all want love.We long for the fullness, wholeness, and peace we sense it will bring.But so often, the love we seek feels elusive, and even when we find it, it rarely satisfies us the way we hoped.Erich Fromm, in his classic book The Art of Loving, suggested that our frustration in love comes from a misunderstanding.We chase love without learning the skill of being love.In this episode, I’ll explore two very different approaches:Seeking love: the habitual, ego-driven pursuit of approval, worth, and validationBeing love: a deeper practice of embodying love as your natureYou’ll learn how the mind’s evolutionary wiring sets us up for seeking, and how you can shift from striving to standing in love, from searching to becoming it.Resources & LinksJoin Becoming Love (starts Nov 20): https://melliobrien.com/becoming-love/ Free meditations: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/ My book Deep Resilience: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/

In times of crisis or challenge, it’s natural to feel a certain amount of stress.But we often make things harder by focusing on everything we can’t control: what others are doing, what might happen next, or what’s already happened and can’t be changed. The more we focus on what’s outside of our control, the more helpless, frustrated, and reactive we become.But when we shift our attention to what is within our control we begin to reclaim our power.In this episode, I’ll guide you through two simple steps to move from reactivity to empowerment.You’ll learn how to centre yourself, clarify what’s truly within your control, and take calm, purposeful, effective action even when life feels chaotic.This practice helps you meet life’s challenges with more steadiness, wisdom, and strength.Over time, it trains your mind to stay focused on what matters most, and to act from presence instead of fear.Resources & Links:Free guided meditations to support your practice: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/My book Deep Resilience: A four-step framework for unshakable calm and wisdom: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/

How to Let Go of a Grudge (and Set Yourself Free)We’ve all felt hurt by someone else’s words or actions, and sometimes that pain lingers long after the moment has passed.When we hold on to resentment, it weighs us down, fuels stress, and closes our hearts. In this episode, I share a gentle, three-step practice for letting go of a grudge and setting yourself free.You’ll learn how to see the situation with objectivity and understanding, hold healthy boundaries, make space for imperfection, and choose forgiveness — not to excuse what happened, but to release the heaviness you’ve been carrying.Because when we learn to meet hurt and resentment with awareness and skill, it doesn’t break us, it awakens us.Resources & Links:Free guided meditations to support your practice: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/My book Deep Resilience — a four-step framework for unshakable calm and wisdom: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/

Drop One BurdenMost of us carry around far more mental baggage than we need to.Old resentments. Grievances. Self-judgment. Worries that loop endlessly.These mental burdens weigh us down. They steal our energy, fuel stress and negativity, and keep us from feeling the freedom and peace that are already here.In this episode, I share a simple but powerful practice: drop one burden.We’ll look at how to notice the mental baggage you’ve been carrying, how to discern what’s useful from what’s just rumination, and how to set down what no longer serves you.Even dropping just one burden can create a surprising sense of ease and lightness. And over time, this practice opens up more space for peace, joy, and wholeness in your daily life.Resources & Links:Free guided meditations to support your practice: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/My book Deep Resilience — a four-step framework for unshakable calm and wisdom: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/

The Four Steps to a Paradigm ShiftHave you ever noticed how much your beliefs shape the way you experience the world? Those beliefs form our paradigms. And when a paradigm is unhelpful. When it keeps us stuck in stress, cynicism, or old habits — it quietly limits how we live. The good news is: we can shift them.In this episode, I’ll share a simple four-step process for creating a paradigm shift. You’ll learn how to:Recognise the beliefs that are holding you back.Question them with openness and curiosity.Try on more empowering, life-giving perspectives.Practice them until they become second nature.These small steps can lead to profound changes — not just in how you see the world, but in how you show up in it.Resources & Links🌿 Free guided meditations to support your practice: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/📖 My book Deep Resilience — a four-step framework for unshakable strength and wisdom: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/

Love Back BiggerIt’s easy to be kind when others treat us kindly. The real test is when someone hurts, disappoints, or lets us down. In those moments, our instinct is often to lash out, blame, or retaliate — and before we know it, we’re caught in cycles of hostility that leave us depleted.In this episode, I invite you to practice what I call loving back bigger. It doesn’t mean being a pushover. Sometimes we absolutely need to set boundaries, speak up, or stand our ground. But it does mean learning how to do those things without losing ourselves in reactivity, resentment, or hatred.Together, we’ll explore how to:Remember the shared humanity in those who hurt us.Release blame and reactivity, even when it feels justified.Stay true to your own values instead of being dragged down into the behaviour of others.Even the smallest steps toward loving back bigger can restore your own peace of mind and free you from cycles of anger.Resources & LinksFree guided meditations to support your practice: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/ My book Deep Resilience — a four-step framework for unshakable inner strength: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/