Sex Birth Trauma with Kimberly Ann Johnson podcast

EP 134: Discovering Your True Genius, Embracing All Emotions, and The Upper Limit Problem with Gay Hendricks

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In this episode, Kimberly and Gay discuss his revolutionary term “upper limit problem,” which describes when a person’s capacity for feeling positive emotions is immediately followed by conflict or a dip. They also discuss how Gay discovered this phenomena and his life’s work regarding relationship building, aligning oneself with pure consciousness, and his passion for helping people discover their “genius” or true creativity. Gay discusses his experience being a thought leader of transformational psychology early in academia and mainstream culture and his thoughts on being an elder in today’s society.



Gay Hendricks is a psychologist, author of forty books (including “The Big Leap” and “Conscious Loving”), teacher, and therapist on all things regarding relationships and body-mind transformation. He received his PhD from Stanford University in Counseling Psychology and taught for twenty years at University of Colorado. With his wife, Dr. Kathleen Hendricks, he founded The Hendricks Institute where they coach teachers and conduct workshops on relationships and wellness. They have been featured in a number of radio and television shows as well as many conferences and seminars.



What He Shares:

--Gay’s personal awakening in mid 20s

--The Upper Limit Problem

--The Genius Zone

--Embracing all emotions and opening towards pure consciousness

--Relationships for mutual healing

--Discovering your true genius and creativity



What You’ll Hear:

--Describes beginning of academic career from PhD studies to professorship

--Negative fantasy that caused worry despite feeling good and being successful

--Growing up overweight and body image issues with dieting

--Turning point moment of pure consciousness recognized blocking of negative emotions with food

--Opening significant new territory within ourselves is major life event

--Upper limit problem occurs when intense feelings of goodness are followed by intense feelings of not feeling good (reached upper limit)

--Upper limit problem in relationship

--Societal upper limit problem from 60s-70s

--Expanding with fear instead of contracting with it

--Pay-off is living in peaceful flow of positive energy within relationships

--Steady relationship, not a lot of ups and downs

--Zero-criticism relationships

--Criticism as attack on your being instead of actions

--Become masters of fear and moving through waves of fear

--Staying open to the collective with hearts open not closed towards others’ suffering

--Sitting in pleasure without spiritual by-passing, using pleasure to heal trauma

--New book describing extension of upper limit problem

--How to feel flow and connection all the time

--Creativity important in relationships for individuals to grow “your genius”

--Everybody has same desire inside to bring forth their “genius,” their true creativity

--Finding genius in relationship

--Pre-order copy of upcoming book

--Being an elder in our culture

--Planning for what you want in older age

--Choosing creativity instead of stagnation; Choosing integrity instead of despair

--Experience being a thought leader and academic in New Age time from 1960s-70s to now

--Leaving his legacy




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    EP 140: Bullshit, Lying, and the Truth with John V. Petrocelli


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    EP 139: Attachment Theory, Interdependence, and Rewiring from Threat to Love with Dr. Stan Tatkin


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    EP 138: Cultish - The Language of Fanaticism with Amanda Montell


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    EP 137: Mothering Teens and Pre-teens, Intergenerational Healing, and Badass Girls with Eliza Reynolds


    In this episode, Kimberly and Eliza discuss intergenerational relationships, mother-daughter healing, and navigating parent-child dynamics during the preteen and teenage years in order to cultivate more conscious, self-loving, and resilient children. Eliza discusses how she began this work, alongside her mother, Sil Reynolds, as a teenager. They discuss the need for parents to have intergenerational support while parenting and for teens, holding space for rapid developmental changes and intensity through the teen years, and pushing back on negative cultural stereotypes of preteens and teens in order to raise more empowered youth.   Bio Eliza Reynolds is a best-selling author, speaker, and professional mentor. She’s the coauthor, with her mom, Sil, of Mothering and Daughtering: Keeping Your Bond Strong Through the Teen Years. For almost 15 years, Eliza has been facilitating sold-out workshops for thousands of mothers and their preteen and teen daughters, and now offers online and in-person mentorship programs teaching emotional intelligence, embodiment, body literacy, and more for big-hearted preteen and teen girls at Badass Girls. What They Share  --Need for intergenerational support for parents and children --How cultural stereotypes of teen girls impact them --Commonalities between teens and toddlers development --Mature mentorship --Healthy resistance and how to hold space for it from preteens and teens   What You’ll Hear --Describes writing book and teaching with mother at 15 --”Full body yes” to teach and facilitate --Dominant culture “mom bashing” from teens and culture --Sil always looking for mentors, intergenerational village for Eliza --Cultural degradation of teenage girls --Not normalizing parents feeling overwhelmed and isolated --False, harmful narrative that teen parenting is only hardship --Preteens and teens need intergenerational village of support --Parents can’t bridge intergenerational gap with teens without the village --Underestimate fracturing of extended family, place, and impact on parent-child --Healthy mentorship and positive power dynamics --”Daughtering” as being active in relationship with your parent --Growing between healthy independence and healthy dependence --Negative stories/stereotypes we tell teen girls about themselves often come true --Sil would never trash talk Eliza to other people --Teenage girls as fiercely loyal, loving, kind, radically inclusive with support --Mothers need other mother/mentor support in community raising preteens and teens together --Children surrounded by peers in toxic mom-bashing culture  --Dual shift parents getting parenting in community and mentorship and daughter getting healthy peer community and mentorship --Teens starve for mentorship and want to be in stable and grounded community mirrors back their magic --Badass Girls Academy supports parents and daughters --Pushing through the resistance as parents --Commonalities in parenting, attachment, and rapid development in toddlers and teens --Preteen and teen “tantrums” because of brain development, psyche, hormones, etc. remembering they are not adults yet --Being safe harbor and adult through teen tantrums --Empowering young people to have more conscious relationships to make home easier and less conflict --Building skill-set to consciously communicate through practicing with mentors, scripts, body-centering techniques, etc. --Holding boundaries and containment around preteens and teens --Safety still really important with this age group --Working with healthy resistance as parents, pushing up ways against similarities and differences as parent --Feel safety with parents to express themselves and not taking it personally as parents --Helping teens navigate resistance and intensity --Holding true space for their ‘no’ in order to hold true space for their ‘yes’ --Badass Academy is program private app and community curated by professional mentors all online, monthly themes, being more invested in radical responsibility of respecting and loving yourself   Resources Website: IG: @eliza.feelings
  • Sex Birth Trauma with Kimberly Ann Johnson podcast

    EP 136: Spirit Work, Conspiracies, Elderhood and Grief with Stephen Jenkinson, Part Two


    In the second of two episodes, Kimberly and Stephen discuss the roles of parents, grandparents and godparents in raising children. They attend to what might be some of the consequence of this gross fracturing of a sense of commons in the surge of conspiracy theories. And they wander through the territory of elderhood, grief, and awakening in a hope-free world.      What You'll Here: —The role of parenting —Grandparenting is not elder hood —Elderhood or grandparenting or godparenting —Opioids- the longing after beauty- “anesthetic” —Seeking not after approval but for blessing —If you choose to choose the world or you, give them to the world —Parents are in charge of custodial duties- the janitors —Closeness and intimacy belies the suspicion of distance —What was everyone on about before there was a vaccine —Euthanasia is consistent with death-phobia  —A personal truth? and the I-focus —Conception of God, the serenity prayer —Crisis- the imagined possibilities are frayed and are no more —There’s a clarity comes with crisis that obliges you that’s not available when you are feeling fine —Grief and brokenheartedness in a culture that believes in wholeness only —Fundamental addiction to self-determination —Consequence of this gross fracturing of a sense of commons will last far longer than the conspiracy itself —Heartbreak is how you cleanse yourself of prejudices, you do not rid yourself of them —Origin of our capacity for gratitude —Labor on behalf of a better day without hope —We don’t need people who have an answer for everything —A healthy respect for the unknown  —Meaning of the word “Awake”- of the web of consequence that fanned out from everything you did and did not do, and you did and did not say —What is the sound upon awakening that we make?

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