Adopting Three Times: A Dad’s Perspective with Tim Elder

How do you make adoption financially possible? For many hopeful adoptive families, the cost of adoption can feel like one of the biggest obstacles to growing their family. But there are resources, strategies, and creative ways to help make adoption more attainable. In this episode of Let’s Talk Adoption, Kim and Heather welcome Kelly Ellison, an adoptive mom, financial coach, and nationally recognized adoption funding expert. Kelly shares practical advice on finding adoption grants, navigating the application process, and exploring fundraising opportunities to help families raise the money needed to adopt.

Why do we celebrate a woman’s adoption decision afterward, but hesitate to tell her about adoption beforehand?In this episode of Let’s Talk Adoption, Heather and Kim explore how outdated assumptions and our own discomfort can keep us from discussing modern adoption in everyday conversations. Just knowing adoption is an option isn’t the same as understanding what it could look like, especially for someone facing an unexpected pregnancy.Heather shares experiences from her career, including conversations with women who didn’t realize adoption could include choosing a family and staying in touch. Together, Heather and Kim discuss how to share accurate information while respecting privacy, acknowledging adoption’s complexities, and leaving each woman free to make her own decision.In this episode:What people may be imagining when they say, “I could never choose adoption.”Why we shouldn’t assume pregnant women have received meaningful adoption information.The difference between offering information and applying pressure.How to talk about modern adoption honestly, including both connection and grief.Practical ways to build awareness in person, on social media, and in everyday life.Your invitation this week: Share a helpful adoption resource or start a thoughtful conversation. You never know who might need this information or who someone will ask for advice.Sponsored by the Lifetime Adoption FoundationThis episode of Let’s Talk Adoption is sponsored by the Lifetime Adoption Foundation. The Foundation supports birth mothers who have chosen adoption for their children and provides educational scholarships to those who have placed a child for adoption.Research mentioned:Reardon, D. C., Rafferty, K. A., & Longbons, T. (2023). The effects of abortion decision rightness and decision type on women’s satisfaction and mental health. Cureus, 15(1), e34355.The finding discussed reflects respondents’ descriptions of their abortion decisions; it does not establish that they would have chosen adoption.Resources mentioned:24/7 Adoption Information and Assistance: call or text 1-800-923-6784Free book, “So I Was Thinking About Adoption”: FreeAdoptionBook.com

How do you know if adoption is the right next step for your family? For some couples, the consideration of adoption comes after infertility, loss, disappointment, or grieving the family they thought they would have. At some point, the desire to become parents may become bigger than the specific way they originally imagined becoming parents. In this episode, we talk about what it can look like to learn, pray, discern, and consider whether adoption may be the next step for your family. In This Episode, We Talk About: When the desire to become a parent becomes bigger than the method Recognizing that your vision for your family may look different than you originally imagined What adoption actually requires The lack of control that can come with adoption and why it often requires surrender Learning about open adoption before deciding how you feel about it Why researching adoption is an important part of making an informed decision Listening to adoption podcasts such as Let’s Talk Adoption and Infant Adoption Guide Talking with adoption agencies and adoptive parents who have experienced the process firsthand Guidance for spiritual discernment as a couple Giving each spouse intentional time to pray, seek the Lord, and quietly contemplate adoption individually What a “call to adoption” might actually look like Why you don’t have to have everything figured out before taking the next step

“How much did your baby cost?”“Did her birth mother use drugs?”“Do you love her as much as you would your own child?”Yes, adoptive families really do get asked questions like these!People are naturally curious about adoption, and most aren’t trying to be rude or insensitive. But sometimes curiosity crosses a line, especially when the question involves personal details that belong to the adopted child.In this episode of Let’s Talk Adoption, Kim King and Heather Featherston tackle some of the nosiest questions people ask adoptive families. Some are funny. Some are awkward. And some give us a great opportunity to clear up common misconceptions about modern adoption.In this episode, we talk about questions like:How much did your baby cost?Did the birth mother use drugs?Why did her “real” mother give her away?What’s wrong with the birth mother?Was the birth mother a teenager?Do you know who the father is?Did the birth mother get paid?Can the birth mother come back and take the baby?Do you love an adopted child as much as a biological child?Couldn’t you have children of your own?Why didn’t you just adopt from foster care?Did you get to pick the baby?Did you change the baby’s name?Does the child know they’re adopted?Aren’t you afraid they’ll want their “real” family someday?Along the way, we talk about the difference between curiosity and privacy, why the words we use around adoption matter, and why some parts of an adoption story simply aren’t ours to share.Most importantly, remember that an adopted child’s medical history, prenatal exposure, birth family circumstances, and other personal details are part of their story. They may choose to share those details someday, or they may not.Have you heard a nosy adoption question we missed?Send it to us…We may need a “Part Two”!

Who gets to name the baby when there’s an adoption plan? Does the expectant mother choose the name? Do the adoptive parents? And what happens to the baby’s name after the adoption is finalized?In this quick bonus episode of Let’s Talk Adoption, Kim and Heather answer a surprisingly common adoption question and explain how first names, last names, birth certificates, and name changes can work in adoption.You’ll hear about:Who has the right to name the baby at birthWhether an expectant mother and adoptive parents can choose a name togetherWhat happens with the baby’s last nameHow the name may change after adoptionWhy communication and respect matter when a name has special meaningEvery adoption is different, but understanding the process can help both expectant mothers and adoptive families know what to expect.

We’ve covered a lot of ground in our recent episodes, from what happens at the hospital and preparing to travel to health insurance, ICPC, home studies, and employer adoption benefits.And sometimes, answering one question just leads to another!So today, we’re doing another listener Q&A and tackling five of those practical “Okay, but what happens if…?” questions that we haven’t really covered yet: “What happens if we get the call about a baby and our home study has expired or is about to expire?”“If we travel for an adoption and the expectant mother changes her mind, who pays for our travel and hotel expenses?”“Can an adoptive family ever leave the hospital with the baby before the birth mother is discharged?”“What happens if the baby needs to go to the NICU but the adoptive parents have to leave the state because of work or other children at home?”“If we’re matched with an expectant mother, can we add the baby to our health insurance before the baby is actually born?”

In this episode of Let's Talk Adoption, we're walking through an adoption journey from pregnancy through bringing baby home and explaining how medical bills and health insurance typically work along the way.

Adoptive dad Tim Elder returns to share lessons, practical advice, and encouragement for families pursuing domestic infant adoption.

In this episode of Let’s Talk Adoption, Kim welcomes back Tim Elder, a three-time adoptive dad and founder of the Infant Adoption Guide Podcast and Community. After experiencing the infant adoption process three times, Tim has gained a unique perspective on what it takes to navigate adoption as an adoptive parent.

In this episode, Kim King and Heather Featherston discuss what it's like adopting when you already have kids. They answer common questions about whether having children affects your chances of being chosen by an expectant mother, what to expect during your home study, whether your children should travel with you for an out-of-state adoption, and how to prepare your entire family for the exciting transition ahead.