...........It's Your Expectations

What if you're not stuck because you lack confidence, motivation or discipline? What if you're still following emotional rules you learned as a child?Growing up, we learn what it takes to maintain connection, avoid conflict and protect ourselves from rejection. For some of us, that meant learning to read the emotional state of the adults around us before making space for our own feelings.Don't upset anyone. Don't be difficult. Don't disappoint people. Don't be selfish. Don't let anyone think badly of you.These unspoken emotional rules can follow us into adulthood, shaping our relationships, decisions, boundaries and even how much success or happiness we allow ourselves to experience.In this episode of It's Not You, I explore why feeling stuck is often less about not knowing what to do and more about the emotions we anticipate having to experience if we actually do it.We'll look at the connection between childhood emotional adaptations, people-pleasing, guilt, fear of disapproval and the feelings we never had the opportunity to fully process.Because sometimes we're not avoiding the decision itself. We're avoiding how we imagine we'll feel when somebody doesn't like it.And perhaps moving forward isn't about becoming more confident. Perhaps it's about developing the emotional capacity to break the rules we once learned in order to belong.If you've ever known exactly what you wanted but found yourself unable to take the next step, this episode is for you. https://www.instagram.com/lizmytherapist/https://www.enjoyconfidence.com/https://www.facebook.com/lizstewartauthorandtherapyhttps://lizstewart.thementalwellbeingcompany.com/

This episode explores why it’s not you… it’s the way we approach mental health.So much of the support available comes after the struggle has already begun. After the anxiety, the overwhelm, the burnout.But what if we focused on prevention instead?I share my perspective on why this “afterwards” approach isn’t working, and how trauma-informed support, in both parenting and the workplace, can change the way we understand and support mental wellbeing. https://www.instagram.com/lizmytherapist/https://www.enjoyconfidence.com/https://www.facebook.com/lizstewartauthorandtherapyhttps://lizstewart.thementalwellbeingcompany.com/

Loneliness isn’t always about being alone.Sometimes it’s about growing up in a house full of people but feeling like no one truly understood your inner world.In this episode of It’s Not You, Liz explores the quiet, often invisible loneliness many people carry from childhood. The kind that forms when feelings are dismissed, emotions are judged, or vulnerability is met with “stop being dramatic” instead of understanding.Liz unpacks how emotional loneliness can become a form of trauma, why emotionally unintelligent environments leave children feeling unseen, and how judgement deepens isolation.She also explores a confusing experience many adults recognise: being in relationships that look good on the outside, yet still feeling emotionally alone when difficult feelings appear.This episode is about the difference between physical presence and emotional presence, and why being emotionally met is one of the most powerful antidotes to loneliness.If you’ve ever felt like you were “too sensitive,” misunderstood, or like you’ve had to carry your emotional world on your own, this conversation will help make sense of why.Because loneliness isn’t always about having no one around you.Sometimes it’s about being the only person in the room who is emotionally present. https://www.instagram.com/lizmytherapist/https://www.enjoyconfidence.com/https://www.facebook.com/lizstewartauthorandtherapyhttps://lizstewart.thementalwellbeingcompany.com/

What if the parts of your life that feel stuck aren’t a reflection of who you are… but what your nervous system learned to call normal?In this episode, Liz explores how our sense of “reality” is shaped by early conditioning, emotional patterns, and the baseline our body memorised for safety. Many of the habits, relationships, and stress cycles we repeat aren’t character flaws. They’re familiar settings we’ve never questioned.You’ll hear why humans protect what feels normal, even when it hurts, how outdated emotional templates keep us looping, and why growth isn’t becoming someone new. It’s teaching your body a new version of safe. https://www.instagram.com/lizmytherapist/https://www.enjoyconfidence.com/https://www.facebook.com/lizstewartauthorandtherapyhttps://lizstewart.thementalwellbeingcompany.com/

Based on all the messages received after last weeks episode - this warranted being discussed more. Emotional suppression is an epidemic, and in this episode, ill even tell you why its a key thing in narcissism.  https://www.instagram.com/lizmytherapist/https://www.enjoyconfidence.com/https://www.facebook.com/lizstewartauthorandtherapyhttps://lizstewart.thementalwellbeingcompany.com/

As a trauma informed positive psychology practitioner, I can tell you that most people are aiming their positivity at the wrong end! AND it makes us more anxious and dyregulated as we do. In this episode, I give you the key to pointing it in the right direction, and how to use it to build confidence, and inner strength.  https://www.instagram.com/lizmytherapist/https://www.enjoyconfidence.com/https://www.facebook.com/lizstewartauthorandtherapyhttps://lizstewart.thementalwellbeingcompany.com/

Most advice offers bypassing, releasing or resetting - but what if you built your capacity to hold everything in your experience?  https://www.instagram.com/lizmytherapist/https://www.enjoyconfidence.com/https://www.facebook.com/lizstewartauthorandtherapyhttps://lizstewart.thementalwellbeingcompany.com/

Believing that your mental health is just about your thinking is the same as believing that washing your car is the only maintenance it requires. In this episode, I discuss the other barely spoken about systems that form your mental health - and how they are the key to your transformation - not your thinking!  https://www.instagram.com/lizmytherapist/https://www.enjoyconfidence.com/https://www.facebook.com/lizstewartauthorandtherapyhttps://lizstewart.thementalwellbeingcompany.com/

Society does not hold itself to high standards - you just need to look at politics and sensationalism to see that, and so it matters that we look further and deeper into things that matter to us - and our happiness and mental health should probably be one of the highest on that list.In this episode I detail the real path to feeling happy - and its not positive thinking.  https://www.instagram.com/lizmytherapist/https://www.enjoyconfidence.com/https://www.facebook.com/lizstewartauthorandtherapyhttps://lizstewart.thementalwellbeingcompany.com/

What are your expectations on yourself and others?  https://www.instagram.com/lizmytherapist/https://www.enjoyconfidence.com/https://www.facebook.com/lizstewartauthorandtherapyhttps://lizstewart.thementalwellbeingcompany.com/